Part IV
Ben cursed as yet another system turned up with no sight of Rey or Rose. He was slightly comforted when Arlan told him that Rey was not traveling alone and perhaps understood a little more of Rey's reason to run in the first place when learning of Roes's furthering pregnancy.
His fiercely loyal and protective wife…after seeing the horror and carnage on Dantooine, the base littered with bodies, men, women…children, the images haunted his dreams more than any of his other dark deeds. When he was on missions, he had a sense of purpose, that perhaps each life lost would spare more down the line. But what happened on that humid world in the Raioballo sector was senseless, an order given by an evil man seeking blind vengeance and the burden of power.
Over the past few weeks he had been trying tirelessly to understand Rey, but after seeing Cale plead for her to understand after she heard that her husband had no hand in the betrayal, she still would not believe. This fact continued to tear at him, flay him again and again, the wound that she left on him festered each day that passed.
The Outer Rim in this part of the galaxy was vast and some sectors were so densely packed with planets that Ben was quickly becoming panicked and worst of all, he was starting to feel hopeless.
He was back on the Serenity just outside of Yavin. He hated making these small diversions, but there was still a galaxy to run and he had been lacking in those duties for months now. So he sat in a dull conference room, thankfully not the same one where he had last brought his wife to pleasure but was identical none the less, and he rested his heavy head upon his fingertips as he listened to his councilmen and advisors drone on.
Ben was only drawn from his inner musings when he heard the shrill voice of his Head of Public Affairs, Thartan Korne. "We must discuss the matter of the Empress…"
"What of her," Ren now sat up straight in his chair, his full and dark attention on Korne.
Thartan Korne was a short man with perfectly quaffed auburn hair who was a few years his Emperor's senior. He hailed from Broest, a small world from within the Core, and going back generations, Korne's grandparents were always friendly with Alderaan and it's royals. Thartan's family owned many of the fields that grew and supplied the lost world with ruica seeds, a grain that Bail Organa had to make up silly stories about in order to get his particular daughter to eat.
But now under the intense gaze of the Emperor, Thartan started to sweat and he flipped through papers as if he had forgotten what he was planning to say, finally stuttering out, "It has come to the attention of this council and the galaxy at large that you have taken a wife."
"It is none of your business…none of their damn business."
"Forgiveness Emperor Ren," Korne bowed his head even though he was seated, "You were photographed with a mystery woman on many occasions, known to put off matters of state to lock yourself away with her or cruise around the galaxy with her, and then there is the ring that you have made no motions to conceal."
Ben twisted the warm gold around his finger absentmindedly, a habit that he had obtained over the past hundred and seventy-five days, "I will only ask once more. What of her?"
Korne looked around the room to see if he had any support, only a few others would meet his gaze, but he squared his shoulders before speaking again, "Your people are demanding to see their Empress."
"Demanding," Ren darkly chuckled. "Alister," he addressed his first Knight, but did not break eye contact with Korne, "what happened to the last person who demanded something of me…"
"If you are speaking of your wife Master, then the answer is you placed a crown upon her head, but if your meaning is the disgraced General Hux, then as I have witnessed, you separated his head from his body." Alister couldn't help the small smirk that pulled at his lips as he stood at his Master's right shoulder.
The clear threat made Korne prickle more so with irritation than fear, which was most likely an idiotic reaction on his part, but he had just as much right as any other counselor to bring the cries of the people to their Emperor's attention. "The galaxy is curious," Korne started. "You have opened schools and hospitals in her name. You have commissioned a great Destroyer for your commonwealth tour. Her name was penned at the bottom of the peace treaty that never came to be."
"Your point?" Ren was growing tired of this line of inquiry.
"You are Emperor and you clearly have taken an Empress. Your people want to know the woman who will rule at your side. Speaking quite frankly, they want to know the woman who was able to tame the fearsome Kylo Ren."
"Tamed…" he snorted.
"You name her the Empress of the People yet keep her from the people she has vowed to lead," Korne's voice was now raised, tired of making his point again and again to only be met with mockery. "Many on this council don't even know what she looks like!"
"My wife," Ren's voice was booming in the small room, "your Empress is currently indisposed."
"You mean missing," Korne found his backbone sometime during their debate.
Kylo gritted his teeth, it was no longer a secret why he was scouring the Mid and Outer Rim for months on end. "I will find her, she will return…"
"But in the meantime, if I may be so bold to suggest, you should take a double as your bride."
The expression on Ren's face was nothing short of dumbfounded before his gaze went narrow, "A what?"
"A woman who looks like your wife can be found and she can stand in for some appearances…"
"How dare you insult…" Kylo seethed.
"We aren't suggesting that you take her in all ways you would your wife…sir…" Korne was back to sweating now.
In an action quicker than Alister could reach out a hand to steady his Master, Ren was on his feet, had his saber in his grip, the blade snapped to life and pointed at the now utterly terrified face of his soon to be dismissed Head of Public Affairs. "My wife will not be replaced, she will not be impersonated, I will not dishonor my vows with such a scheme, and now that you have spoken of your Empress beyond reproach, I suggest you leave before you meet the same fate as our arduous Hux."
Korne tried to steady his voice before he spoke again, but first, he pushed his chair back, making sure not to move his upper body since the spitting plasma blade was still poised at his neck. Only when he went to stand, taking a step back, Korne gave a slight bow, "Forgiveness, Emperor Ren."
"You will not ask my forgiveness for such an idea, but when your Empress has returned, and she will return, you shall beg it from her."
There was a sound as if the air was being sucked from the room but it was only the disengagement of the saber blade and Korne sighed as he bowed again, "Thank your Emperor for making my errors so clearly known and I hardily await being able to have an audience with her Imperial Majesty and express my sincerest apologies."
Clipping his saber back onto his belt, Ren watched Korne leave the room and finally, his first Knight placed a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you take a few minutes."
"We will reconvene in twenty minutes," Ren muttered under his breath, hating that he was being dismissed like a child after a tantrum, but he had just held his lightsaber to a councilman's neck. So he stalked from the room and as if his feet were acting for themselves, he ended up in the library.
If the conference room wasn't enough of a reminder of Rey, this room surely was. He could close his eyes and see her padding across the room completely nude, he saw the Jedi texts that she had gifted him when they first met upon this ship, he ran his hands along the bookcase that she had pinned him against, kneeling before him only for that act.
Then there was the reading cubby, and as he walked beneath the arch, he almost felt as if he could smell her on the air, as he remembered bringing her to breathy moans upon the chaise. Falling back onto the low couch he let out a deep sigh and cupped his tired head in his hands.
Since leaving Lianna he had only been able to focus long enough to meditate a few times, but now he let his mind drift, reaching out with the Force to the small piece of him that thankfully Rey was still carrying around with her.
This time it wasn't just a blip of light from across the galaxy, it was a rush of feeling and something that he had never experienced with connecting to a kyber in the past. He felt warm and loved…safe…it was all very dark but then he started to hear something. Ben almost started weeping as he picked out the slightly deeper tone of Rey's voice, but he couldn't make out the words, as if he was listening to them from underwater.
But that wasn't what set him into action. In reply to Rey's kind voice was the cry of a Wookiee…wait, not just one…but many.
Ben sat up quickly, "Kashyyyk…of course. How could I be so stupid."
So on day one hundred and seventy-five he bypassed the rest of the meeting, calling to Alister through the Force and gathering some of his Knights and guards on to the MK3 to make the quick trip down to the homeward of the Wookiee.
The bright sun was just starting to set over Rwookrrorro and the torches and lanterns were lit as Rey and Rose walked down to the village gathering hut where many of the Wookiee would dine together. Loharra had fashioned a papoose of sorts so that Rylea could be strapped to her mother's chest and Rose had full use of her hands.
They spoke happily of watching the babe grow each day and now at just over two weeks old, Rose was swearing that her daughter was already smiling. "She's only laughing at your horrid singing," Rey shot back with a playful jest.
"I sing like an angel," Rose shot back by stroking her daughter's hair, "You, on the other hand, I'll be surprised if your boy isn't born tone deaf."
Rey was just about to fire off a retort, when Chewie came lumbering up to them, "An Upsilon-class Command Shuttle was just seen entering the Lantillian sector and there is no doubt that it is headed for Kashyyyk."
Looking up at who had become her closest confessor over the past few weeks, Rey was in shocked silence. She knew that staying so close was a risk, but she didn't expect Kylo to find them so quickly. Thanking the Maker that she had fixed the landing gear on the shuttle when they had first arrived, Rey took a brief moment to think of what she should do.
Her son flipped within her womb and she winched in discomfort. Perhaps if she was still connected to the Force and to the signature of her child, she would have felt that he was calling out to his father across the stars, wishing to bring him home and that he was squirming in joy over the feeling of a strong wave in the Force moving closer and closer.
But she was not connected to the Force and she took the pain as an omen, "We need to go," she started before turning to Rose, "I need to go. I won't ask you flee with me with Rylea so young, but Kylo Ren is on his way here, now."
Rose looked between her daughter and her best friend. "I will go with you this one last time," she watched Rey's shoulders visibly relax with her agreement. "But only because sooner rather than later, your boy is going to come and I won't let you do that alone. You still have to tell Kylo to back off and you have to promise that we will settle soon."
Thankful that Rose only knew some Shyriiwook, Rey narrowed her eyes at Chewie as he reminded her that Ben deserved better than being lied to about the child, but she just turned back to Rose, nodded, and ordered her to go gather everything they would need for a quick departure.
Rushing off to her own quarters, Rey was only slightly annoyed that Chewie had followed, "You have to try to forgive him."
"I wasn't aware that you were in any position to tell me what I should and shouldn't do," Rey shot back but immediately felt horrible when she saw the wounded look on her dear friend's face.
"Ben killed Han," Chewie stated plainly. "We all witnessed it, and while his intentions may have been influenced by Snoke and the Darkside of the Force, it was Ben's hand that ran Han through…his own father…my best friend."
"I am aware," Rey shot back while she shoved her clothes and some other personal belongings into a bag. "We made peace with our pasts and I forgave him for that a long time ago."
"Yet you punish him for something that I think we both don't believe he did…"
"You don't know what you are talking about Chewie."
"Oralee, how is this any different? Why are your compassion and forgiveness not to be given in this case?"
"I liked Han…but barely knew him. What happened on Dantooine, what the New Order brought upon the Resistance is different. Those were my friends, Finn was about to be a father, there were children there!"
"I just want to make sure you know what you are doing by continuing to run…"
"I am keeping myself and my child safe."
"It is my hope that while you are not able to give your own forgiveness and understanding, that perhaps Ben will be kinder when you meet again."
This gave Rey pause and she turned back towards the Wookiee when she was throwing the bag over her shoulder, "What do you mean?"
"You ran without knowing the whole story, wounded a Knight of Ren, betrayed your vows to your husband and to the galaxy, but most of all, you have kept the child from Ben and I fear that will not bode well."
She wanted to curse the big fur ball, for what had been keeping her up most a night was the horrible fact that she didn't know how she could go back to Ben now. If all of the voices of reason that she was constantly pushing away were right, that she had royally overreacted and was now running from a man that had done nothing but love, accept, and understand her, she didn't know how she would live with herself, let alone how Ben would ever forgive her.
At this point, she was more scared to think of a future with Ben than without him. It would be easier to run than to stay and face him and perhaps that made her a coward, but she wasn't going to stay around long enough to find out.
"I will take what you have said into consideration and I thank you and value your friendship Chewie, but I have to do this right now. I feel it in my gut…literally, that I can't see him yet."
"You will always have my love, Oralee, but so will Ben."
Rey teared up, knowing that Chewie's friendship was never hers to have…completely that is. "You won't tell him…if you see him…about the baby. Will you?"
"It is not my place and I leave that burden only to you."
Maybe if Rey was more level headed, she would have heard the strong warning in his words, but she was just relieved that her secret would remain. Stopping once more out on the deck outside of their sleeping quarters, Rey looked over the village that had taken them in during their most desperate hour, and her chest hurt all the more.
"Thank you, Chewie, for answering my comm, for helping Rose and Rylea, for listening and being a friend even though I suppose I don't really deserve one as kind as you at the current moment."
"We all find ourselves lost at some point in our lives," he reached out and stroked along her now wet cheek. "Just try to make sure that you are not adrift for so long that you forget your way back home."
Rey cried all the way down to the landing area, pleased to see that Rose and BB-8 were already at the shuttle. "If something happens to me, make sure Rose gets someplace safe."
"Nothing will happen to you, my dear Oralee. Just keep an eye on my great nephew and you must comm me when he finally arrives."
"Who else will teach him how to misbehave?" Rey joked through her tears.
"If he is anything like his father, then he won't need any my help in that department."
Rey groaned, "What am I getting myself into Chewie?"
"A family, like you have always wanted. I just wish you wouldn't leave it so broken."
She had no reply, having heard his pleading for over a month now, so Rey just nodded and boarded the shuttle. She waved and blew the Wookiee a kiss as the hull door. Thankful they had the cover of night to their advantage and with Rose settled into the co-pilot seat, Rylea nursing happily and completely unaware of the secret that Rey continued running from.
It was the dead of night when they came upon Kashyyyk and Ben took over the controls, knowing exactly where his uncle's village lay within the thick forests of Wroshyr trees. As the wings of the MK3 started to fold, he spotted the Falcon out of the red-tinted windscreen.
Throwing off his harness, Ben walked with intentional strides and was not surprised to find the solitary Wookiee waiting for him. Knights and guards followed down the ramp, at the ready to help their Emperor if this was an ambush, but Ben walked right up to the fur covered creature that stood well over a foot taller than him.
"Little Ben," the Wookiee offered.
Jix who was the Knight most fluent in Shyriiwook, gave a couching chuckle at the endearment, but at the simple combination of a squawk and a grunt, Ben felt some of the stress of the day fade. "Uncle…"
Apart from Irris who Ben had just reconnected with after being freed from Snoke's hold, Chewie was the only member of his family that had not completely disappointed him growing up. Ben wore the bowcaster scar at his flank with pride, it was a testament to the love that the walking carpet still held for him, even after performing the most unthinkable deed, for he knew Chewie's aim, and if the intent had been to end Kylo Ren's miserable existence, he could easily.
"Is she…" the question burned out in his dry mouth.
"Your wife was here," even with the pieces of information that he would have to withhold, Chewie planned to provide Ben with as much information as he could with the hope to bring the foolish kids back together sooner.
Ben's brows creased, "She told you?"
"I know everything, and I must say…she could have done better," Chewie tried to lighten the mood with the slight dig and by ruffling his hand into Ben's hair.
Now, most of the Knight and guards were trying to hide giggles while watching their Master and Emperor be manhandled like a small boy. But Ben just gave a tired smile, "You know us Solo men…bound to screw up handsomely at some point in our marriages. I just hoped that it would not have happened so soon."
Chewie just called out sympathetically before tipping his head in a gesture to ask Ben to follow. Arlan stepped forward, "What about Rose?"
The Wookiee turned his head back over his shoulder, "Had a little girl about two weeks ago. Named her Rylea. Such a sweet babe."
Arlan turned to Jix who translated for her, "They are on the run with a two-week old baby? Are they mad? What is Rey thinking?"
"That is exactly what I have been trying to figure out this entire time," Ben answered as he continued to follow his uncle up towards the tree village.
Cander and Davin stayed with the shuttle but the other two Knights and Arlan would have accommodations up in the Wroshyr tree. Chewie gestured to a few rooms before calling for Ben and they walked into the room directly next to the Wookiee's.
Rey's scent hit him like an iron fist and he wanted to crumple to his knees. He was so close, perhaps only missing her by hours…minutes and he mused if he was to run his hands along the bed if her warmth would still be there.
"What happened?" Ben asked helplessly.
"Rose went into labor early and Rey asked for our help."
"How long have they been here?"
"Just over a month."
Ben rounded, "And you didn't think to contact me?"
"Oralee asked us not to," Chewie offered with a just as helpless shrug.
"Oralee…" Ben said with some curiosity.
"It means…"
"I know what it means, but I wonder if there is any Light left in her." Ben sank into the bed, sitting over the edge and his posture showed just how tired he was.
Chewie came over and sat next to his nephew, wrapping a long and hair covered arm around his shoulders. He used to have to console Ben like this back what seemed like a lifetime ago. When Han and Leia were off with the Rebels and left their son with the Wookiee for months at a time. "What happened on Dantooine?" Even if Rey wasn't willing to listen, Chewie would always be there for his Little Ben.
"It was Hux," was the simplest answer. "He found out about Rey and the treaty. He knew where the Resistance base was and he wanted to destroy me…which I suppose he has."
Taking in a large breath, Ben let the comforting presence of his uncle wash over him and he let all of his fears rush out, "Am I so horrible…have I done such irredeemable things that she would think me capable of what happened on Dantooine?" He looked up into the warm brown eyes of the Wookiee who did not offer a reply, just sat and listened. "I thought that I had reconciled with the Force and that it would allow us this happiness, because Chewie, we were so happy. But I fear this is just another penance for the life that I chose to live."
"You are not the only one to blame…Oralee has made her choices in this as well, I just hope that she can live with the consequences once she comes to her senses."
"So she still thinks that I am guilty of this massacre?"
"I think she is a scared girl who is now doubting her choice and doesn't know how to come back from such a betrayal. So much so, that perhaps she is still rationalizing her need to run."
"I would like to be able to say that she could just come home…but she has hurt me in the worst possible way…" Ben was looking down at his hands in his lap and didn't notice the cringe that crossed the Wookiee's face. "This has been worse than when Han left, when my mother pushed me aside, when Luke raised his saber at me in the night…worse than Snoke's teachings. I think killing my father was less painful than living each day with this giant hole in my chest."
Chewie let out a soft cry at the mention of Han, but as he had told Rey, he had granted his forgiveness and now could only help his nephew through this most difficult time. "I'm proud of you Ben," was what he decided to offer.
"What?" Ben looked up with such confusion. He didn't deserve this from Chewie, not after everything he had done.
"You shed the control Snoke had over you, you found your Light, started doing so much good for the galaxy, and even through all of your current agony, you have not turned back to the Darkside."
Ben gave a discrediting snort, "I won't lie and say that it hasn't been tempting. When Rey tired to kill me, shut herself off to the Force and turned away from our bond…when I cut down Hux, I wanted to fall into the darkness, I wanted to be consumed by it. If I could give that pain back to the Darkside then perhaps I didn't have to feel it every fucking day…" His shoulders started to shake with the beginning of silent sobs.
Chewie wanted to say to hell with it all, comm Rey, find her and hold her captive himself so that he could make her see what she had done. He wanted to tell Ben about the son that Rey was carrying…he wanted to tell him everything just in the attempt to ease some of the boy's suffering. But he just tighten his arm around Ben's shoulders and like so many other times when he was a child, Chewie let Ben cry into the soft fur of his chest.
With a promise to talk further the next day, Ben fell asleep in the bed that Rey had occupied just the night before. He could smell her on the sheets and buried his face into the pillow. He thought back to the beginning of their courtship when she had hit him in the face with her pillow and he was able to keep it through the bond. Or how each time she left him, he would fall sleep in their bed alone, clutching something that smelled of her to his chest.
He missed her warmth and her light and although the dark voices continued to whisper in the back of his mind, trying to make him believe that Rey had never truly loved him…
Your parents left you, your uncle tried to kill you, no one will ever want you boy…
No one would ever know, not Chewie, not his Knights, not even Rey…they would never know how absolutely tirelessly Ben worked to keep the Darkness at bay. The words of his mother, grandfather, and now his uncle Chewie continued to give him hope…but what Rey had done…what she continued to do, he doubted that their relationship would ever be what it was…what it could have been if Dantooine never happened.
That night he dreamed of her, but it was not a kind dream. There were no wistful eyes and longing gazes. There were no sweet names called or expanses of flesh to be bared. There was only agony and despair. Rey's face was twisted in pain, sweat painted her brow, and tears shining in her bloodshot hazel eyes.
Rey cried out for him with whimpers and pleas, he felt her distress and the distress of another. His heart twisted, her pain was his to bear through this dream…or was it a vision brought on by the Force.
As he woke with a start, he felt wetness on his cheeks as well and he scrubbed his face into the cotton case of the pillow. The Force was not one to often show him visions, that gift belonged to Rey. Ben remembered how with just a touch, she could pull memories from objects. It has happened with Anakin's saber and with the jewel of his grandmother.
He prayed to the Maker that this dream would never come to be. As much as he wished that Rey would share in just an ounce of the suffering that he had endured these past few months, the agony on her features was beyond his dark desires for emotional revenge.
With that thought, he mused that he would continue his search for his wife, even though she had shown time and time again that she did not want to be found…did not want to come home…did not want him. But if this was a vision of what was to come, he wouldn't allow her to undergo such suffering alone.
AN: I think one more chapter before they come face to face again...I hope to have that out by this weekend but we shall see how this week plays out with work.
What do we think about Chewie and Ben seeing each other again? Leave me some love...or your long thoughts...because truly, how emotionally invested all of you are in this with me is freaking amazing!
