A note for those who left comments saying I should include characters: Because of the nature of this, the characters fluctuate between chapters. Honestly, Pidge is the only character that's been in every chapter so far and this one and the last are the only ones where she had a significant part. Since FF only allows for four characters, it's just too difficult to figure out who should be listed so I've decided to just leave that blank.
Another display of the humans barbarity when it comes to vanity is their love of piercing their own flesh to thread pieces of jewelry through the holes. Apparently the human's speed of healing allows for the process to be mostly non harmful, though there has been a wide variety of pain levels recorded. This even seems to be a right of passage for young human females as many have been seen getting their ears pierced at as young an age as a third of one Earth-Year (approximately 10.7 megaticks). The head, especially the ears, seems to be the most popular place for the piercings though there have been recorded accounts for just about anywhere else on the human body, including sexual organs. Additionally, they have specially designed piercings created for the purpose of expanding the artificial holes in their body to extreme and sometimes permanent (even for their healing strength) levels.
The humans also have been seen jabbing their flesh with miniscule needles for the purpose of injecting substances into their skin to create artificial markings. Tattooing, as the practice is called, can have many different forms and meanings depending on the culture the one receiving the tattoo belongs to. The process is recorded as being extremely painful at first, though humans strangely seem to develop a tolerance for it the more times they undergo the process and some humans have been seen having their entire bodies covered. For more on the cultural aspects of Tattooing, skip ahead to the section Cultures, subsection Body Adjustments.
- An excerpt from A Guide to Humans by Driniv of Xebnec 9
"Excuse me?"
Pidge looked up to see a short, thin alien in a dress that slightly resembled a roman gown standing next to her, four of their arms on their hips and the other five held up in a Xervian greeting.
"Oh, hello," Pidge said, doing her best to return the greeting with only two arms.
He - Pidge was pretty sure Allura said the small ones were male - laughed and reached forward to adjust her hands. Yep, male. Males are small and have no sense of personal boundaries while females will not make any physical contact with anyone no matter what.
"You be Green Paladin, yes warrior?" he asked in a high voice.
"Yeah, you can call me Pidge."
"Pleasure, great pleasure. I be-" He let out a series of clicks and screeches Pidge had no chance of recreating. "Though believe in your speak translate to Water-Flier."
"It's nice to meet you."
"We thank Voltron much for help against Galra."
"It's no problem really, just doing our job."
"Pi-duh-geh enjoy celebration?"
Pidge glanced around at the party occurring in the room they were standing at the edge of before shrugging. "It's great, really. Parties just aren't my thing."
Water-Flier nodded seriously. "I understand. You be warrior. More important things do than stand with lots. I same. I be fixer. Rather be fix. Mate be talker though." One of his hands pointed towards a tall, bulky Xervian wearing the exoskeleton dressings of the Xervian diplomats. "I come to celebration to support. You come to support Princess, yes?"
"Basically."
"Hm. Paladins dress nice," Water-Flier complimented, grabbing a loose piece of Pidge's skirt in four of his hands. "Soft, beautiful. You all like Princess."
Pidge blushed and rubbed her arm. "Yeah, the dress is actually Princess Allura's. She let me borrow it for the party. I don't really have anything to wear for something like this."
Water-Flier nodded and let go of her dress, instead reaching up to grab her face. "I like shiny danglers greatly. How make stay on?"
"Shiny- Oh, my earrings? It's not that hard, see?" Pidge pulled out his grip and twisted her ear so he could see the back. "It just sticks through my ear."
The Xervian gasped and his eyes went pale. "You cut holes through flesh to stick shiny through! Not see on other Paladins! Pi-duh-geh must be powerful warrior indeed! Must tell mate!"
"Uh," Pidge said as she watched Water-Flier dart off.
"Gees Pidge, what'd you do to him?" Keith asked as he, Shiro, and Coran walked up.
"I just showed him my earrings and he was surprised the thing went through my ear."
Keith glanced over at Coran with a worried look. "This isn't going to be another omnivore incident, is it?"
Coran shivered at the reminder. "N-no, this kind of thing isn't uncommon, in more primitive species at least. Though I can't say I know of any species that pierce their flesh. Usually it's through areas without feeling, such as the Balmerans' horns or vine-like hairs of the Vyx. Even the Xervian's used to do it to their exoskeletons, though they seem to have dropped that practice over the last ten thousand years. Do humans have feeling in their ears?"
"Not much, but ears aren't the only place we pierce. They're just the most popular," Shiro explained.
"Really?"
"Yeah, you should see where Shiro's pierced," Keith said. He quickly received a smack to the back of the head. "What?"
"Maybe they should see your tattoo," Shiro huffed and Keith's face soon joined his own in being red.
"Keith has a tattoo!"
"What is a tattoo?"
"Show them," Shiro chuckled, nudging Keith's shoulder.
The fifteen-year-old glared first at Shiro, then Pidge. "Lance doesn't hear a word about this."
"Sure, sure," Pidge agreed, nodding. She pulled a tablet out of her pocket (Pidge loved Altean dresses!) and added, "As long as I get a pic."
Keith growled, but pulled up the jacket and shirt of the Altean suit he had borrowed to show the red tattoo climbing up his side.
Pidge quickly snapped a picture as Coran leaned in. He said, "I didn't know humans had markings."
"We don't, well, we do have birthmarks, but they're usually not this noticeable. A tattoo is more like⦠a painting people have done on their skin," Shiro said, trying to find a gentle way of describing it.
His efforts were for not though as Pidge added, "Yeah, except it's done using a machine that stabs you at high speeds with a bunch of tiny needles that inject the paint into your skin."
Shiro sighed as Coran grew pale and excused himself. "I'm starting to realize why everyone seemed so afraid of me in the gladiator arena."
"Yup, aliens find us terrifying. We eat meat and stab ourselves for fun. Are these cat paw prints?" Pidge asked, poking Keith's side.
The red paladin jumped at the contact and quickly pulled away from her, shoving his clothes back down. "They were supposed to be bloody wolf prints," he explained quickly, hoping to distract her from whatever thoughts had sprung up at his reaction to cause the evil grin she was giving him.
"That's what you get for getting an illegal tattoo at thirteen," Shiro stated with - as Lance called it - his Dad Face.
"You say that like I had some guy do it in his garage. I went to a parlor!"
"You used a fake ID."
"I shouldn't have needed one. You were there and you were twenty-three."
"You went with him to get his illegal tattoo?" Pidge asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I wanted to make sure he wasn't going someplace dangerous. And it doesn't matter if I was there, I wasn't giving you permission. I'm not your dad."
"You might as well be," Keith muttered. A second later both males were blushing with wide eyes as they realized what he'd said.
Pidge snickered and held up her tablet, hitting the photo button. She then took off to track down Lance and Hunk to show them her two new pictures.
If you have any ideas for things about humans you want to see aliens freaking out over, feel free to leave them in the comments.
