Awaiting Jetlag

Summary – A set of one-shots inspired by spoilers of the episode Jetlag. TIVA

Disclaimer – NCIS characters are CBS's not mine.

Note – This is completely unrelated to the other chapters


Reckless

Running through the corridors of the hospital, Gibbs' glare was enough to convince the staff to let them through without any questions. They had already crossed paths in the previous day since Tony was admitted after taking a gun shot during their last case. He had to undergo a surgery and they had just been informed that he was finally waking. Ziva was the first one at the room and upon seeing Tony really awake in the bed she let out a breath just as Gibbs was entering the room.

Tony made eye contact with Ziva willing her to say something but she still could not find the words. It was Gibbs who broke the silence, asking his senior field agent if he was better. The conversation led to what had happened when he was shot.

"They had entered the warehouse and I followed them in" Tony said describing the events that had led to the shooting.

"That was reckless" Ziva said, speaking for the first time.

"Hello to you too" come Tony's reply, irritated that the first words she says to him are about his recklessness. They kept staring at each other, neither of them wanting to be the one who admits defeat by speaking first, defence is always the best offense.

Their staring was interrupted by Gibbs' phone ringing and he went outside to continue the conversation in silence, secretly pleased that he did not have to witness their tension any more. As soon as he stepped out of the room Ziva turned her back to Tony and closed the door. "It was reckless" she told him again, resting her forehead against the doorframe and finding herself suddenly tired. It had been a long day waiting for the phone to ring.

Tony still did not say anything and she could not believe that he did not understand what she was trying to say. Infuriated she asked, "Don't you get it?!"

"Hey you used a contraction sweetcheeks." Came Tony's reply, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. Having just come out of an operation he didn't need to do this now. He woke up wanting to see her, but not to fight with her.

"Tony!" she said finally turning around to face him letting her eyes show what she could not place in words. "After everything, how can you not get it?" She whispered, her voice broken with emotion.

"I do. I do get it." Tony answered truthfully knowing that it was about time they spoke about this and sensing that she would not be the first one to admit it. It was too difficult for her to admit that something which could almost be regarded as frivolous was in fact effecting her so much. "Paris?" He told her, not really asking a question.

She let out a sigh, the only acknowledgment that Paris was indeed what she was talking about. Coming back from Paris he had told Nora, the witness, that Paris had changed Ziva; she had no idea at that time how true it was.

"You should be more careful," she told him, letting it be the explanation for the momentary loss of control of her emotions.

"I'm always careful. And besides you do it too sometimes, remember when you went to disarm a bomb after Gibbs told us to clear the place?" Tony answered, challenging her to arrive to the true root of her problem.

"That was different," she said with a tone of finality.

"Yeah? Why so?"

"Because I can disarm a bomb with my eyes closed." Came her reply.

"So I'm not capable of doing my job well, am I?" Letting his anger get hold of himself as they were pulled in a typical argument of prides.

"That's not what I said. If I had not disarmed the bomb we would have lost evidence. You on the other hand just went and got yourself shot and for what?"

"For you! They told me they had you, all right? I was too freaking scared that something would happen to you."

Shocked by the revelation she went to sit at the edge of his bed and let herself be transported back to the previous day. They had followed the suspects into a warehouse and now had to break into it to catch them all. By their calculations there were three suspects against the two of them. They agreed that Ziva would go by the rear and try to surprise them while Tony would go from the front to distract them. For some reason he had not waited for her signal and had barged into the warehouse, Ziva had only heard the gunshots and barged in herself to find Tony on the floor bleeding. It had taken her only a couple of seconds to shoot the remaining two suspects, the first one being shot by Tony himself.

She had then ran to Tony to find him losing consciousness. When Gibbs and the ambulance arrived they found her next to him, her clothes and hands full of his blood and her emotions out of control. And now he was telling her that they had used her to lure him out. It meant that they already knew about them, it meant that she did not realise that the suspects were aware of their movements. It meant that she was also to blame.

With the thought of how close they had been to loosing it all engulfing her, she had never felt so useless in her life. At the warehouse when she heard the gunshots, she had immediately thought of the worst and the emotion that built in inside her was so powerful that it surprised her. It was similar to what she had felt just moments ago when she finally saw him alive and well. It made her head spin and her heart jump; it was too strong.

"Perhaps that is why there is rule number 12." Was what she said out loud.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tony asked her quickly, "You saying you want to forget these past six months? Pretend nothing ever happened..."

"No!" Of one thing she was certain, that they could not go to the way things were before. "That is not what I said Tony. I just think that perhaps it distracts us."

He humphed and asked "Or are you saying you regret it. Is that it?"

Something inside her snapped at that and her hand instinctively grabbed his arm wanting to inflict pain in any way just as his accusation had done to her. "Do not put words in my mouth Tony"

Tony took a deep breath in not really bothering about the firm grasp she had on his arm since he knew she was only doing it to express her hurt and not to really inflict any permanent damage. "Don't do this now Ziva, especially after we clearly had the same conversation that night in Paris and you found no objections. I know what you're doing. You're using this as an excuse because for once in your life something like this is actually going well for you and it scares you. It scares the hell out of you because you're opening up and breaking down these walls and you're happy, for the first time in a long time you're really happy. And you're scared because it's us and it works. I'm scared too, I'm scared that I'll mess this up just like everything else but I'm not backing out. So don't you turn your back on me now when we're finally at a point where we work. Don't do this to me Ziva" He was being so brutally honest that she loosened her grip on him trying to control her own feelings.

He read her like an open book and she knew he was right. She was scared, scared of how powerful these feelings were, scared of not knowing if she was taking the right risk. He was also right on the other things, no matter what her fears screamed at her, they really did work; both of them together... they were making it work. And this was one of the things she was scared of. They had been through too much already that she thought that they were at a point where no matter what they tried, old painful memories would still come between them. She was also afraid that their differences would be too much to handle and that what could be described as complimentary would end up spelling incompatibility.

But he was right, they worked. And it was that knowledge more than anything that comforted her, that allowed her to see that her fear of losing him was clouding her but it was not enough to make her turn her back on him, on them.

Showing him how important he was to her, she simply put her fingers to his cheek and told him, "I do not know what I would do if something happens to you."

Knowing how hard it was for both of them to acknowledge their dependence on each other Tony reciprocated, "I know and I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to you. But I know that you're my partner and we've got each other's backs no matter what. This thing does not affect our judgment. Yesterday was a choice I made consciously and I would do it again. I took a calculated risk. You would have done the same thing." He told her to chase away the thoughts he knew would be swimming in her mind.

"When I heard the gunshots I could not... it is not something I am used to feel. So useless, I could not punch anybody to make them make you feel better," she said. And he had to smile at how Ziva-ish it sounded. Of course her first reaction would be to inflict some sort of pain on someone to make them help him. It was her way of dealing when in some sort of panic.

"I can imagine you harassing the surgeons." he told her, smiling openly. And he was glad that he had finally managed to make her smile, secretly proud of the fact that he always knew how to make her smile.

"Tony I do not regret this," she said after a moment of silence, knowing that it needed to be said out loud. She did not regret this at all, it was actually the best thing that ever happened to her apart from joining NCIS.

He lifted his hand to her cheek and she leaned into his touch craving it as much as she had craved confirmation of his well-being. "I know," he told her to let her know that he never doubted it, that he just needed her to see what was going on in her head.

He smirked then to light up the mood and told her, "You know, I'm going to need someone to nurse me back."

"I don't do nursing" was her quick reply but he knew from the tone of her voice that she was not talking seriously.

"Come on Ziva," Tony told her whining.

"I can cook you something when they release you if you want," came her reply which was more than giving in to the nursing bit.

"Ah that sounds promising, what will you cook my ninja?"

"How about that pasta you seem to like so much?" she told him, her eyes shining knowing that he would understand which pasta she was talking about. She had cooked it the first time he came to her apartment when they returned from Paris.

"Hmm brilliant, I can taste it already. Maybe if you harass the surgeons they'll let me out faster." He told her with a smile making her laugh.

"I doubt it Tony and besides you need your rest. I want you to be in your best condition otherwise you'll be stuck to desk duty."

Tony's face told her that that was the last thing he wanted, wondering how anyone could stand being away from the field.

They then both fell into a comfortable silence letting their fingers, lips and eyes continue to say the words that they were still too proud to say.

So captivated by each other neither of them noticed the door opening, nor did they hear Gibbs look in and smirk at their site. They were too lost in each other, in touches and whispers that betrayed a secret successfully held for six months.


Couldn't help but add a post-Jetlag part and even though everyone has his own opinions about what happened in Paris I decided to go with this aspect of it for now.

I've also uploaded the video I spoke about in one of the chapters of Roots. It is certainly an amateur's video as you will see yourselves but I hope that the meaning shines through.

.com/watch?v=72SSiK8g6ng

Hope you liked this. Thanks once more