"A hundred-and-ninety eight, a hundred-and-ninety-nine, two hundred!"
Jimmy cried out triumphantly, his arms thrown in the air in victory. He felt invigorated, joyus, thrilled, and also a little bit nauseous. His stomach gurgled as he cradled it in his hands. In hindsight, it might not have been the best idea to spin around two hundred times whilst also plummeting at several hundred feet per indetermy. Still, he had fun, at fun was what he was best at.
He had so much fun, in fact, that he almost was able to take his mind off of the fact that he was, as Phanuel said, completely and utterly dead. He briefly entertained the thought in his head, as his smile slowly began to recede. His family, whoever they were, were going to miss him, no doubt. And his friends, too, how would they cope? Did he have friends, actually? He tried to cast his memory back, to try and scrape together some semblance of a reminder of his living life, but all that came back were brief recollections of experiences with as many holes in it as swiss cheese.
And, for a brief, yet also eternal, moment, Jimmy felt very, very alone.
But then, he thought some more. He couldn't remember anything from back home, could he? Not his family, his friends, not his life, nothing. He had no more bridges, no more safety net to fall back on. It was scary, true, but also so exciting. He had a blank slate, a chance to start anew, a chance to meet new people, to experience new things, to make new friends, to learn and grow more in his new surroundings then he ever could back home. Soon, like a tide slowly creeping back up, his smile grew once more.
He'd make his eternity an eternity worth living. If life was truly what you made of it, he was going to make a palace.
Finally at rest mentally, Jimmy felt his muscles relax, and wistfully, he gazed around at his now familiar surroundings. At the beige fog that swirled around, like a vortex of orange and yellow, like a soft fire burning. And, as he sat back and truly began to appreciate the view, he realised that things seemed to be getting a bit brighter. And not in the metaphorical sense, may he had. Like, actual, literal, slowly becoming eye-wateringly bright. He looked down, saw only bright white light.
And, as he fell further, he saw something else, standing in sharp contrast to everything else. Something dark, something brownish-red, something that looked suspiciously solid, something that was slowly but surely getting closer, and closer.
Squinting his eyes, he also began to notice something - or rather, somethings - else. Small dots, mere pinpricks of colours, for the moment, but slowly he realised that they were getting bigger, and more detailed, and more easily discernible.
It was also then, slightly more alarmingly, that Jimmy noticed that he most likely would not be falling for much longer. And, with a sudden, sickening sound of splitting bones, he landed, kicking up a cloud of dust as he left a large, Jimmy-shaped crater slap-dab in the middle of the hard, jagged brown terrain.
Groaning painfully, the teenage boy slowly (and unsteadily) dragged himself out, his shattered legs beating against the inside of his personal ditch. Throwing himself at last onto his back, he was momentarily concerned about the fact that all of the bones in his body - bar a few - seemed to be broken. Crumpled, destroyed, and with a hint of jutting bone, his arms and legs lay astrew beside him. Until, to his amazement, they began to quickly knit themselves back together, and soon, he was back on his own two feet, beaming from ear to ear.
Jimmy may not have been the smartest kid ever, but even he was able to know that this isn't something that normally happens. He scratched his chin for a moment, before pointing upwards triumphantly, as though a lightbulb had just lit itself over his head. "Ding!" he exclaimed, confident with his theory.
He was dead, and was now in some sort of afterlife, that was something that had been established. And in the afterlife, you have to live out the rest of eternity (however long one of those are). Twice now, he had suffered injuries that, to his understanding, should be completely fatal. And yet, miraculously, they had been healed in mere seconds. It's almost as if there was a connection there.
It was almost if you couldn't die in the afterlife. Jimmy, you mad genius! He exclaimed to himself internally, a sudden rush of excitement coursing through his now undead veins. He couldn't die, not anymore. And he couldn't be injured either - well, not permanently anyway. Awesmazing! He could do so much now, so many cool tricks and stunts, so many stupid yet captivating things, and he had absolutely nothing to worry about! Sure, it'd hurt, but at this point, he slowly began to become more accustomed to excruciatingly painful pain.
But then, even better, he looked around, and saw something that immediately stole his attention: there were other people here! And not just that, but so many different kinds of people, too! There were lumberjacks, and men in fancy suits (they were pretty snazzy looking, if Jimmy said so himself), people with black bandanas around their eyes, people with cool piercings and tattoos of all kinds, a guy stuck in a straight jacket, a few people wearing a few cool masks (he didn't know so many people liked to play hockey!), and some people who looked so strange he almost could have said they looked like monsters.
Woah, so many people, thought Jimmy, I gotta introduce myself!
He bounced over to one of the these strange people, and leapt in front of them. "Hi, I'm Jimmy! Nice to meet y-AAAAAAHHHH!" In the span of six and a half words, the strange man had managed to not only pick him up, but to fold him into quarters, and hurl him very, very far. Wow! That guy's got a really good arm on him!
Landing about fifty-to-seventy metres away, Jimmy managed to pull himself back to his normal shape, neatly pressing in the creases that had formed on his body until they were gone. Man, he really should eat a mint, though. That must be the second person he accidentally disgusted with his rotten-egg breath. That gave him a new idea: if he avoided breathing on these people, they'd want to talk to him, guaranteed! Sometimes, he really wondered where he got such genius from.
Jimmy walked up to a lady who particularly caught his eye, on account of her seemingly being about 50% metal, if the number of piercings she had was anything to go by. "Hey there, ma'am," he began, making sure to cover his mouth with his arm, "I'm Jimmy and-" quickly, the lady (who seemed to be mostly bald, aside from a few weird spikes on the top of her head) snapped her head towards him, and snarled at him. "Heh-heh-heh, nevermind!" he sputtered out quickly, swiftly scampering away from her.
Wow, he thought to himself solemly, I'm really not making that good of an impression, am I? Maybe he ought to try a different approach. He looked around, his amber eyes scanning every nook and cranny around, at every single person he could manage. They all seemed to be tough, and, as sad as it was to admit, a bit domineering. Still, maybe he needed a more aggressive approach - they'd respect that.
"Hey," he said as he marched towards someone, dressed like a strongman from an old circus routine, "I'm talkin' to you." Jimmy snapped, trying to make his voice sound deep and intimidating. Unfortunately for him, however, his attempt simply made himself sound silly, and to be honest, not even in the slightest bit intimidating. "You, me, right here, right now. We gonna talk, and we gonna be pals, got it?" he growled lowly, feeling very proud of himself. Surely, this would work!
Jimmy was pleased to see that he did not receive a violent response this time. Though he would admit, he'd feel a bit insulted that he did not receive a response at all. He frowned for a moment. "Um, hello?" he asked, waving his hands in front of the stoic strongman's face. "Anyone there? Helloooo, kid trying to make friends here!" Shouted Jimmy, throwing his arms out to his sides. "Jeez, some people." He muttered to himself, shaking his head. He then looked up at the man inquisitively: he seemed to be staring at something, very, very intensely, an expression of pure shock on his moustached face. What was he looking at, anyway? Jimmy began to gaze around, and suddenly, his jaw dropped as he finally began to take in his surroundings.
All around him, towering over yonder like a child with a magnifying glass towers over an ant colony, were mountains. And not any mountains, no no no. He could see big gaps all around their tops. Large, round holes that glowed a soft red - volcanoes. And not only that, but with further inquiry, he noticed that all around him were puddles, lakes, and even seemingly entire oceans of lava! Further still, bright pink trees, shaped like fig-leaves dotted the landscape, the surface of their leaves pulsating oddly, like a chest rising up, and down. And, as they glared down at him so fiercely he had to shield his eyes, he gasped as he looked up. There was not one, not two, but three suns! All unnaturally close to this strange world.
"Woah." was all he could say, as Jimmy, for a moment, was overwhelmed by the bombardments his new surroundings performed on his senses, as he took in the smell of smoke, the glaring of a trinity of stars, the distant sounds of roaring flames and people cheering (or was it screaming?), and the feeling of warmth against his skin. "This. Place. Is. Awesome!" he cried, leaping into the air, throwing his fist up high above his head. He gazed around, in childlike wonder, as he took it all in, until suddenly, there was a loud, reverberating, echoing cough, that made the hair on his skin stand on edge, and forced him to involuntarily leap high into the air.
"*Ahem*," went the voice, which, now that he listened closely, sounded feminine, and almost as if it was coming out of some sort of megaphone.
"Welcome," Said the voice, seeming to ooze almost nauseatingly passive-aggressive sweetness, "to Miseryville."
