A few days later I'm standing in the same office where I reported my failure, listening to my new instructions. Two male nin are standing on either side of me, receiving the same information.

"You're being sent to the country of wind, in exchange for three of their ninjas." We're told. "It's more of a diplomatic exchange than anything, but you will be expected to do as you are ordered by our allies. We want them to trust us, as much as we would like to know we can trust them in these difficult times.

"Of course, it goes without saying," he goes on, "That if at any time you become aware of a planned attack on our country, if our allies are not as trustworthy as we had hoped, than you are to inform us immediately. You leave tomorrow morning. That is all."

I nod along with the other two and turn to leave slowly. So we're to be spies then. I've never particularly liked spying, especially when I'm supposed to live with those I'm spying on. I suppose it can't be helped, but all the same, I hope there's nothing to report from the country of sand.

I go home and pack what few belongings I need for an indefinite trip into foreign lands and spend the rest of the night training myself as best as I can. I've gotten much stronger, I know, since I realized that this is really what I want to do, but after suffering such a crushing defeat as my last mission, it's hard to believe I'm strong. Even returning to life from death can't make me stop doubting my power.

I don't get any sleep the night before we leave. In the morning I join the other two at the last minute and we leave in silence. They don't like me pulling that kind of thing, I know, but I find it so hard to talk to people nowadays, I find myself avoiding situations in which it might happen.

The other two are old friends, as I discover on the trip. A few years younger than me, they talk with each other the whole way. For the most part I am silent, although I join in their conversation a few times.

We spend one night in a forest on the way there. We were told we'd be meeting a guide on the border of the desert to take us to our destinations tomorrow morning, so we have no reason to press on any further.

After the others have settled in for the night I go for a midnight run. It's nice to run in the quiet, with the nocturnal animals out for the night with you. It's a sort of enchanted time, but even at these times, my brain won't stop bugging me. Some days I hate my mind.

It doesn't take long before the trees start to thin out and then they stop altogether and it's just a short run across grassy fields until the desert starts.

I stop at the edge, nearly overcome by the sight. It seems impossible to approach, let alone to cross such an expanse. I'm not even truly in the desert yet and I wonder if it's wise to be here.

"Couldn't sleep either?" The first man asks as I return to camp a little while later.

I shake my head, and jump to the branch beside him. "It's never as easy as it used to be."

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Tell me about it. It used to be we would finish a mission and everything was so simple, and we could feel good about it afterwards. It used to be us against the bad guys, but nowadays…" he trails off, a faraway look in his eyes. He looks over at his friend sleeping nearby and shrugs. "And now this mission. I mean, it's good that we're keeping the peace with our neighbors; all we really want is peace, no matter how bad it is for business, but I just get a bad feeling when I think that we'll be living with those people, for who knows how long. This drought had better end soon, for all our sakes."

I nod in agreement. It's not just bad for farmers, for thieves. Now, thanks to the anonymous ninjas attacking Konoha relations between countries are strained, and it seems that the war we fought so hard to prevent may still come to be. Fortunately the situation between countries is not quite the same as it used to be, but it's still all very complicated and unpredictable. One wrong move and everything could blow up.

"It's tough, you know, to know how to act anymore, with the bad politics." He goes on. "Sometimes I wish we could go back to hating them outright; it's much easier than trying to be sneaky."

"I take it you're not interested in politics then?" I ask.

He shakes his head and smiles crookedly. "I'm afraid it's a bit too complicated for my brain." He says, and waves his hand over his head. "Right over my head."

I say nothing.

"But you," he says, "You're well known for your brains, you must understand it pretty well. And here I am, blabbing on about politics, when I don't really know anything about it."

I smile at him. Despite the small difference in our ages, he makes me seem much older than him. "I don't mind. Sometimes I would rather hear the talk of people like you, who believe they know nothing about politics than from people who think they understand everything there is to be understood – when they know nothing."

He frowns a little, and I realize I've spoken out of line. "That came out harsher than I meant it to," I correct myself, "But what I mean is that I like listening to you talk."

"That's good, because I sure like to talk." He says and smiles. "When I started out everyone told me I'd make a terrible ninja because I'd never be able to keep quiet if I had to stay hidden, but well, here I am. On a dangerous mission for my country."

"I'd rather it wasn't too dangerous." I say, sounding almost traitorous to my ears, but he just agrees with me. We fall silent for a while, watching the stars.

"I hate spying." he says a last, and I have to agree, but I don't tell him that. I know it's bad for morale, to be talking about how little we want to do the task assigned to us.

"It's best not to think of it that way." I say.

"Just 'information gathering', right?" He mutters bitterly.

"Not that," I say, "I mean, don't think of our mission that way. Really, we're being sent as peacekeepers. If you're always thinking about how we were told to keep an eye out, you'll not only make yourself miserable, you'll make others suspicious. You'd do better to be friendly, and everything will turn out just fine in the end."

"I wish I could believe you, but I still have this bad feeling in my stomach. This isn't going to be as easy as we hope."

I shake my head. Nothing ever is.