WARNING! This story is rated within category T however this chapter may hedge into the M category in some opinions. Please heed this notice before continuing. Thank you.


Chapter 4 - In an Ideal World

I'm in heaven, I'm in hell. Trent's lips are firm on mine. His hands cradle my face while the scent of cinnamon pulls me under. I shouldn't kiss him back. I'm a statue. His lips let off pressure but don't pull away, instead they start to pull on my bottom lip and then sooth with a flick of tongue. Oh god its hell but a good hell. I make a soft moan when his teeth nip my bottom lip and this seems to make him more determined to get inside. Were still lying down facing each other. Trent pulls me to him, wrapping an arm around my waist and instinctively my back arches, we touch from chest to thigh. His hand in my hair pulls my lips tight to his then his tongues probing the seam of my lips with a pressure and dominance that doesn't allow for the answer no. Whom I kidding I'll be happy to live in hell if it's like this.

With a feminine sigh I didn't know I could make I surrender my mouth and body by letting myself become pliant in his arms. One hand bunches at his shoulder and the other curls into his hair. A sound escapes Trent that only males can make when they know they've conquered and it turns me on like nothing ever before. Strong arms hold me up while I push myself closer, breasts mesh against his hard chest and I wrap a leg around his hip. I thrust my tongue into his mouth showing him he's not the only dominant one. The hand at my waist tightens and starts to slide down over my hip where it massages then carries on down to my now bare thigh, pulling it up higher on his hip. Never stopping the thrusting of our tongues, Trent rolls me beneath him and I make a little girly squeak that turns into a moan when I feel a new weight between my thighs. A masculine laugh rumbles through him and I shove both hands into his hair none too gently and rake my nails along his scalp. It drives him wild, kissing me harder and pressing his hips tight against mine, he grinds.

I have to pull my head away as my back arches, eyes squeezed shut I moan "Oh God-Trent." Lips nibble my jaw, down my throat and suck at my collar bone, slowly edging to that erogenous zone where neck meets shoulder. Sucking at my neck he kisses to my ear and moans a muffled "Gods Rachael you taste so sweet-" The hand at my thigh massages back upwards pushing the dress along with it till it curves round my ass and pulls my hips even tighter to his. Frenzied I attack his mouth, wrap my legs tight around his waist and dig sharp nails into his back. It's his turn to arch and in the process grinds into me once more but this time calculated so it hits just the right spot. He does this over and over again, watching my face with an intensity and hunger that makes me partly scared and partly just want to come apart then and there. Flinging my head back into the grass I push up to meet him, his name a breathy mantra on my lips. Hand still at my ass, the other moves to support his weight and movements above me, while green eyes burn into mine. "That's it baby. I've got you. Let it go." He grits out between thrusts, muscles corded at his neck and shoulders. I want to, I'm so close. Just need. A little. Bit. More!

Suddenly a mass of energy is forced into me and goes straight to my groin and I explode on an orgasm that's damn near out a romance novel. Dimly I hear myself scream while Trent jerks into me once, twice, his face buried in my neck. Nails still digging into his back, I cling to him while we both hang on for dear life.

The rushing in my ears slowly subsides and I hear our heavy, uneven breaths. Trent stays on top of me, face in my neck, his weight comfortable while I stroke my fingers through his now damp hair. There's a scent in the air that smells of sweat, cinnamon, red wood and something else. Something that's completely unique to us when we come together. I stiffen. Oh god I just came under Trent Kalamack. Trent Kalamack just made me orgasm!

I try to relax but it's too late. He's felt something change and it's like he's already withdrawing into himself. I want to reach out and pull him back but I'm too confused about how and what's just happened so I freeze. So much for one more day not hurting.


Trent moves upwards and off me, kneeling between my legs. There's something on his shorts near the groin area and I blush realizing what it is, looking anywhere but at him. Not that it would matter because his face is turned away and he has a faraway look in his eyes. I push myself up so I'm leaning back on my hands and clear my throat "Uhum. Erm-I…." It's so awkward I just shut up. Still not looking at me Trent says quietly "It's ok Rachael. This is all OK. Everything's fine. Like it never happened" He looks at me then and his eyes are cold, impassionate. Nothing of the man who made love to me just minutes ago.

Its chills me and I'm suddenly so angry I could cry. Setting my jaw in a hard line I push myself to a standing position and angrily wipe away pieces of grass that stick to my dress. Looks like we managed to roll off the blanket in our crazed passion. The realization just makes me angrier. Stupid, stupid witch!

Not being able to control the emotions running through me I shout "What the hell Trent? What-ah! Damn it all to the turn!" I'm getting angrier by the second as Trent just sits there like some unfeeling, beautiful piece of stone. I'm angry at what I just did and what it's done to my head, my heart. Angry that he started it and had no right to when he's getting married! And angry that I was weak enough to not stop while I had the chance. But most of all I'm angry because it was the best thing I have ever experience with another person. And. He's. Not. Mine!

Trent's pulling himself up and dusting off his knees when I whirl around on him "How dare you do that to me when you know how I-that we can't! God!" I throw my hands in the air at a loss for words. His look is one of shock and finally anger. Good, I can deal with anger. "How dare I? If I'm not mistaken you weren't exactly saying no. And I'm sorry but I'm only a man Rachael, I only gave you what you asked for with your body if not your mouth. And then you go all wired on me? What the hell back at you Rachael!"

I flinch from the hostility and hurt in his glare. I feel awful because he's right but I'm still confused in my head. "That's not what it was like Trent." I plead. "I just don't know where I stand with you. Your getting married to another women to save your race yet you do this to me? And I let you even knowing that your getting married! What does that make me Trent?" I emphasize the last by stabbing a finger at my chest.

Trent just stands there looking at me with not a glare but an unreadable expression. With a small shrug he softly says "Your Rachael" There's so much weight in those words it brings tears to my eyes but I dare not let them spill over. Shaking my head in sorrow I say just as softly "You can't keep doing this to me. I won't do this. Not knowing that your going to marry Ellasbeth and have lots of beautiful little elf babies." With a look of regret Trent steps forward reaching out a hand to grab me. I move backwards out of his reach still shaking my head. "Do you want to marry Ellasbeth?" I ask.

Trent lowers his hand and walks in a tight little circle, indecision painted on his features. His hands come up to grab fist full's of hair and push it back off his face as he blows out a gust of air. Finally standing still he looks at me and says "No. I do not want to marry Ellasbeth." I stop breathing. "But I will." He continues. My heart breaks and I simply deflate. I've heard this before haven't I?

My smile is small and sad when I shrug and say "Then we have nothing more to discuss here Trent." I turn away and start walking back in the direction of the house trying to hold back my tears. "Rachael wait!" Trent shouts, running up to me and grabbing my arm he spins me around. Looking deeply into my eyes he says "I don't want to. I wish I didn't but I have to. Please understand that. But this between us? It's big. Don't give up on that. Please." He's practically begging.

I search his eyes and see that he means every word. He believes we can make something work between us even though he will marry someone else. Share a bed with her. Have children with her. The thoughts and images it conjures are too painful so I close my eyes in the hopes it will erase them. Opening my them again I drink in the sight of Trent Kalamack. His soul bare for me to see. This beautiful, damaged man wants me. But to have him I must share and he will never be known as mine. Lifting my hand to his cheek he closes his eyes and leans into my touch. I lean forward and give the barest brush of lips across his cheek and whisper "I'm so sorry. But I won't be that women." When he opens his eyes they are filled with an anguish and pain so deep it blackens my soul knowing that I put it there. This time when I turn around and walk back to the house, he doesn't follow.