Title: Anonymous.
Author: Navigate Me.
Rating: T.
Warning: AU-ish, swearing, and innuendos. Rating might go up too.
Summary: Izaya and Shizuo have two major things in common: they both hate one another, and end up falling for an anonymous student they met over Raira's dating site. But what will they do in order to find out who they are? What'll happen when they find out who their anonymous really is?
For my friend and Shizaya fans out there! c:
With the list of my matches in my pocket, ready to give to Namie, I think quietly.
Yuki-san?
The other night, I thought about it and nothing came. I don't know why it's got to me, but I guess it's just that for once, I don't know something. I'm so use to knowing every little detail, even down to the smallest piece of information, that not knowing this one little thing is tearing me apart.
I'm not entirely sure, but as I thought about my matches, I couldn't help but wonder—'What if I was matched with Shizuo?'
The instant it crossed my mind, I laughed like a mad man.
Me and that waste of life, Shizuo?
That's like saying I'm best matched with an ape on steroids. Please. You must be insane.
The day we are matched with each other is the day Mairu and Kururi grow tired of Hanejima Yuuhei, which is well… not in this life time or the next.
And not even the one after that.
But then again, I highly doubt he signed up for it. His protozoan intellect probably prevented him from being able to use such advanced human technology. Akthough, even 5 year olds know how to use the internet.
Hah. What an idiot.
But if there is anything I hate more than that protozoan, it's Tuesday.
Why?
Well, the answer is actually quite simple. Reason number 1 is because it's a sad reminder that the school week is still starting. It is a reminder that there's still a long way until Saturday. Reason number 2 is… well—I guess there's only one reason.
But that one reason still stands valid.
Tuesdays are basically like a smack to the face.
It's like the world's way at laughing at you saying 'Haha! You still have 4 days, including today, until the weekend!'
Ugh. If I could, I would rid the world of Tuesday and leave it with only 6 days and only 4 days of school.
But unfortunately, someone even as cunning as me, can't make that happen.
So here I am, sitting in class, on a Tuesday morning, at my desk waiting for class to start. Most of my classmates are here, with the exception of Shinra and Namie.
The only people I don't mind interacting with, and they aren't here.
Just fucking perfect.
Quietly, I sigh and look over to the clock at the front of the class. 5 minutes to class.
Damnit Namie! I even have my stupid matches printed out to show you! Where the fuck are you, Namie? I need my knife back, damnit! You too Shinra! You're the perfect student! You can't be late!
Where are you guys?
Fuck it! I might as well leave. Not like it would matter anyways. Besides, I'm sure Shinra and Namie are helping out a teacher or something. I can always show her my list later.
Hmm... thinking about it, that actually doesn't sound that bad.
Pondering whether or not I should leave the class and show up 'late', I move on impulse. Sticking my hands into the pockets of my dark jeans, I get up from my desk, swalk out of the classroom, and head down the hallway.
The other day I found a small pocket knife, almost like the one Namie took, and decided to bring it with me today. I don't know why I even have a second one, but I'm glad I do.
It's kind of weird actually. Having a knife handy just makes me feel secure.
Without it, I feel like a fish out of water.
As I walk with an even pace, I notice a few girls staring at me awe struck. Some of them look like they are either freshmen or sophomore, whereas the majority are girls in my grade or in the one below.
Stupid freshmen, do they honestly think they have a chance with a senior like me? Please, your boobs aren't even grown yet. Save it for someone else because I am obviously not interested.
Although, they do seem like the type to be easily manipulated…
Oh? Is that a new little game I hear calling me?
Oh well, that will have to come later. Oddly enough, I can't think properly without my knife.
I know, even Orihara Izaya has bad moments. Surprising, isn't it?
Walking past another group of girls, I put on my best smirk and wink at them. Almost immediately, they all squeal like pigs and blush as though they had returned from a sauna.
Heh.
I've got to say, it's great to have this kind of power over people, especially girls. Just one look and they're practically as weak and as vulnerable as lamb to a slaughter. If I promised them a tiny, little peck on the cheek, they'd probably do anything I say.
And I do mean anything, if you know what I mean.
Now exiting the school, and walk off school grounds, I decide to take a little walk. Maybe, while I'm out here, I'll cause a little mayhem here and there then return for second period.
The usual.
The teachers at Raira are actually quite lenient towards me sometimes considering how 'new' I am. It's stupid really. It's been a month and they still baby me most of the time with detention once in a while for causing something extremely 'destructive' or anything related.
I still don't get why the gym teacher got mad at me that one time. Back a few days ago, we played a game of dodge ball. When I threw a ball, it just happened to hit some random student's face, which resulted with a bloody nose.
Geez, some people really need to learn what the 'dodge' in dodge ball means.
As I cross the road, a few blocks away from the school, I hear cars braking rather abruptly and loudly along with the sounds of drivers yelling angrily. Thank God there aren't any children around. I'm pretty sure they shouldn't be hearing any type of profanity at that age.
"The fuck?"
"Holy shit! What the hell happened?"
"Hey retard! The light was green!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP."
Instantly, a smirk makes it's way onto my lips and whip my head around at the familiar voice.
"Well, well. Good morning, Shizu-chan." I say as I grab a hold of my knife in my pocket, ready swing.
Ugh, I really wish this was my other knife. This one maybe smaller, but it's pretty fucking heavy in comparison.
Watching as Shizuo flips off one of the drivers, the driver inside returns the favor. I guess it pissed Shizuo off even more since that blonde monster picks up the car, and tosses it.
Haha. I can't help but chuckle a little as the vehicle flies off.
Abnormal strength and anger issues? That's such a bad combo, it's funny.
"What's so funny, I-za-ya-kun?" He asks as he clenches both fists, sauntering over to me with a raging aura.
Now if I haven't told you already, or haven't said much about it, I know a great deal of information. I know a lot about people, a person's past, their personalities, and all the little things people find insignificant. Maybe, if I were around to observe, I'd be able to tell their future or what's on their mind.
Just give me a computer with internet connection, a cell phone, and 2 hours and I can tell you what one did last weekend. I can give you a detailed list of the people one interacted with and where he or she went and why.
I can even tell you what someone's grandmother did.
But with that being said, I already knew of Shizuo's anger problem without Shinra warning me. Shizuo's anger issues are quite blatant and one would have to be either extremely dense or deaf and blind to not notice.
And if you haven't notice, I am neither dense nor deaf and blind.
Now standing a few meters from me on the corner of the side walk, he bares his teeth and growls menacingly, "I said, 'what's so funny?'"
My smirk grows and I say, "Oh nothing, Shizu-chan."
Visibly, he furrows his brows in annoyance. "I thought I told you never to call me that."
"Call you what, Shizu-chan?" I ask innocently, cocking my head to the side with eyes wide.
Playing innocent. Now that has got to be one of my best skills. Thinking about it some more I must say, I am an amazing actor. In the past, my little innocent act has gotten me out of so much trouble, only God knows what would've happened to me.
Just thinking about it…
I'm too pretty to go to jail!
"I said, to never call me 'Shizu-chan,' you stupid little—"
"I'm hurt!" I say mockingly, placing the hand that isn't holding my knife over my heart for added effect. "Why would Shizu-chan be so mean to me!"
I swear, I almost bursted out into laughter. After hearing the emphasis I used on his little nick name, he pulled out from the ground the stop sign next to him.
Laughing like a little boy playing tag during recess, I run down the streets with that beast running after me.
"YOU FLEA, I'LL KILL YOU!"
After jumping over a fence as he goes around it, I smile amused.
Haha! This game is so much fun!
"What was that? You'll fill me?" I say with a childishly bright smile. "Ne! I never knew Shizu-chan was so attracted to me that he'd want to—"
"FUCK YOU!"
"Oh? So you really do want to—"
"SHUT UP, YOU FLEA."
As I turn into an alley, I duck while running when the stop sign is thrown like a javelin at me. With the sound of what I assume is a part of the building breaking and crashing onto the ground, I pull my knife out. Almost immediately, the weight of this thing throws me off.
Darn it! I'm not use to how heavy this thing is!
Stopping, I turn ready to slice him. With a little gleam from the sun reflecting off of my knife, I try to use it to blind him. Unfortunately it doesn't work.
Man! This would have never happened with my other knife Namie took.
Ugh! Fucking piece of—
"I-ZA-YA-KUN."
Quickly, I jump over him as he runs to punch face. As I do a flip over him, my head passes over his and I swing my replacement knife; aiming for his face. But to my dismay, he blocks with his arm.
Crap!
So close!
After landing, I run out of the alley satisfied I cut his arm.
It may not be what I aiming for but hey, at least I got him.
Still running, I can hear him yelling menacingly behind me. With my hair blowing out of my face, I can't help but laugh happily. This is one of the things I love about this little game of cat and mouse. It's unbelievably fun. Mocking and teasing him like this…
I constantly hurt him and he still has yet to hurt me.
In a sense, that protozoan is my bitch.
Anyways, racing in the direction of the school, I cut through traffic. Jumping over cars with ease as they stop haphazardly, I laugh cheerfully at the sounds of angry drivers cursing.
Fuck me?
No, fuck you, driver! Can't you see I'm running here?
Yeah the light is green, but I'm crossing damnit!
With the sound of Shizuo yelling behind me along with angry drivers honking horns, I hurry into the school.
His anger is such an amusing thing to pick on. It's like waking on a minefield, you never know when there's going to be an explosion! Or like provoking an already pissed off bear by throwing rocks at it's face.
But unlike a bear, Shizuo is way more persistant and way stronger.
A few seconds pass and I feel my pockets grow empty.
Shit! I just dropped a few coins and I can currently feel a few falling out of my pockets! Crap, I was going to use that for some otoro to eat after school!
Oh well, if I go back, that beast will tear me apart.
Literally.
Stepping into class, I bow and apologize for being 'late.' After the teacher nods and tells me to sit down, I walk over to my beloved seat in the back corner of the class next to the window. It's ironic really. Every main character in an anime or manga sits in that spot.
Think about it. They always sit there, right?
Or at least the characters in the anime and manga Walker and Erika are interested in sit there.
As I make my way over to my desk, I hear a few of my classmates whispering. A few girls stare at me, a few guys mope because the girls are staring at me, and Namie rolls her eyes.
I can already hear her talking. 'You're always getting yourself into trouble! What do the girls he even see in you?'
And blah blah blah.
I don't really care. Sorry Namie.
Giving Shinra, who sits across the aisle beside me, a smirk, and stick my tongue out at Namie, who sits in front of me, I quickly slip into my seat.
"You dropped these." One of my classmates says standing next to my desk, and hands me a few of my fallen coins. "I was walking back from the bathroom and saw you drop these."
Nodding saying thanks, I reach for them and drop one.
Smooth.
Reaching under my desk, I stare blankly at my shiney little dollar.
It's lying on it's side.
Not on heads and not on tails; on it's freaking side.
Well that's... weird.
With a shrug, I grab it and sit up facing the front of the class before stuffing my coins into my pocket. As the teacher continutes with his lesson plan, I tune him out and look out my window. Outside, I can see a very pissed off blonde giving me the finger.
Amused, I bite my lip and refrain from laughing at him.
"Finally! You're back!" Now at home, I spin around in my computer chair happy with my knife in my hand.
Before I left the school just half an hour ago, I managed to avoid a certain beast from ripping my arms off and get my knife back from Namie. Earlier when I showed both Namie and Shinra my so called 'matches,' I could've sworn I saw Shinra gasp. It was a first for me. Nothing ever seemed to surprise him since he was always the one surprising others.
When I asked him why he seemed so uncomfortable after looking at the names and he quickly dismissed it with a shake of his brunette head. It was strange… and what's stranger is that I have a sneaking suspicion he knows something I don't.
And well… that kind of thing doesn't fly by me.
I have to know everything.
If not everything, the most.
But oh well, I will find out later.
Oh and I do mean will because with me, there is no maybe or sometimes. When I want something, which in this case is something Shinra knows, I will get it one way or another.
Round and round I go, I stop my spinning and lean further into my chair. I feel extremely dizzy and on the verge of throwing up.
Oh God—I think I can feel my lunch coming up.
Dropping my knife onto my desk, next to my keyboard, I quickly place a hand over my mouth. Spinning in circles until I feel sick; not one of my best ideas. A few seconds pass and my nausea fades. Whew! That was close. I'm so glad I didn't actually throw up because I really don't want puke all over my desk and key board. That'd just ruin my cheerful mood.
With the light of my computer screen in my peripheral, I sigh. I left so early, I didn't even have time to play with Shizu-chan! Come to think of it... I don't even know why I came home so early. There's never anything to do around here.
I should've invited Shinra and Namie over or something. This place is so dull when it's just me here. And I've had my computer on for a while waiting for people to enter the chat room.
No. Not the match maker chat room—Hey!
I have an idea!
Spinning a little to face my computer. I open a tab and type in the school's website. After pressing enter, I quickly sign into the match maker and enter a chat room.
Hehe…
Let's see who I can troll today!
A minute goes by before I get bored and spin around in my chair again slowler than before. I stop spinning another minute later to check if anything changed. But to my dismay, nothing happened.
Geez. Someone sign on already!
Beep.
Stopping, I look over to my screen to see I have recieved a message.
I raise an eyebrow curiously before my lips twist into a smirk.
Yuki-san: Hi.
Ohohoh, my top match? Well, isn't this something.
Kanra-san: Why hello~
Since this seems like a good place to end, next chapter will probably contain more of the two chatting. Sorry about the mistakes ;n; To those people who see the connection between leaving the Kasuka fan club and the coin, good job! *High five*
Anywaaaays, tell me what'cha think? :3
