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Chapter 4 Of the Past and the Tears


In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.

-Albert Camus


The chest was heavier then she remembered. Serenity shivered as she set it on her bed and slid the key that had hung round her neck into the key hole. She hesitated.

Eclipse nudged her ankle. "You can't hide from your past forever princess. You need to move on from it."

She could hear the pain colouring his voice. Suddenly she swooped down and hugged her furry friend tightly. "I was so wrapped in my pain I didn't even think that you were hurting too."

"You are not the only one to lose your family. Though, you lost much more than I ever did." He butted her chin, purring loudly. "Now turn the key."

She let him down and turned the key.

Folded neatly in the chest were the old clothes she had brought from her world, neatly stacked. Beside the clothes was the bag she had carried with her. She pulled it out and ran her fingers over the clasp. Pressing slightly, she snapped it open and pulled out the photo album that Usagi had given her before she left.

She opened it and inhaled sharply tears brimming at the group shot of her and all the other scouts. Mamorou stood behind her arms hugging her and she had her hands on Usa-chans shoulders. The others surrounded them smiling brilliantly. Slowly she flipped through showing each picture to Eclipse.

There was a shot of her, Rei, Ami, Minato, and Makoto in their school uniforms. There was Michiru playing the violin and another of her dancing with Haruka. There was Hotaru in a sun dress laughing as Chibi-Usa spun her in a circle. There was Setsuna sun tanning and another of her reading beneath a tree. There was her family, Ikuko and Kenji and annoying little Shingo. There was Luna and Artemis.

And there was Mamu-chan head resting on her lap as she slept, leaning against a tree outside Rei's family shrine.

Ignoring the tears, she sniffed and pulled out the oddly wrapped item that had been Luna's gift. She unwrapped it slowly, gasping at what was inside it. Glinting in the setting sunlight from the window were three items instead of one and a note.

The first was instantly recognizable as the change pen, the second was a broach similar to the one she used to wear when she first became sailor moon, with the only difference being the crescent moon. It was silver instead of its usual golden. The third item was an unrecognizable silver locket. It had a carving of a rose overlapping a moon. She gently opened it and her eyes widened when she realized that inside was the silver millennium crystal. It was playing her and Mamu-chan's song.

It was odd, she thought. The song brought a fresh wave of tears and hurt but at the same time she felt inexplicably happy. She let the tinkling notes wash over her and she let herself cry but for the first time since she came to this world, she felt like maybe, just maybe, she could survive.


Later after she had unpacked everything, she sat down and finally read the note.

Usagi-chan

There are no words I can express to beg your forgiveness. None of us really deserve your forgiveness. Though no excuse matters, we were confused. There were two of you and you were both arguing and we made assumptions. And now in a way we are exiling you.

The reason I now know the truth is because when you split so too did the silver imperial crystal. I had the silversmith fashion a locket in which to keep it in. It plays your favourite song. It is my gift to you, so that wherever you may travel you will be able to protect yourself.

I love you; we all do, even though we made such an unforgivable mistake.

Be well and find friendship and love in your new life.

Luna

P.S. Tell Eclipse that his father, sister, and I love him and we miss him as well. May he guide you well, since every child of the moon must not be without their guardian cat.

P.S.S. Try to stay out of trouble.

Serenity closed her eyes and looked up to the ceiling. Slipping the change pen into her pocket then clasping the sliver locket around her neck she gripped the broach tightly. "Want to go out and watch the sunset?" She asked Eclipse, her breath coming in short little gasps.

"Sure." Eclipse replied as he jumped on the window sill.

Taking a deep breath she stood up and reached for the power inside herself that she hadn't touched since the battle with Mistress 9. It was there and where she had feared that it would be diminished and rusty after years of not using it was bright and comfortable. It felt like coming home or like she was waking up from a dream.

"Moon Power." She whispered and the power burst forth enveloping her. Light engulfed her and she felt her clothes unravelling and reforming as they always did. When the power faded, she looked down at herself. Somehow she wasn't surprised that the outfit was different. The skirt was a little bit longer and instead of gold accents they were silver.

She inhaled deeply as the power coursed through her. Then she grinned. It wasn't the forced smile she often wore, it wasn't the smile tainted with sorrow. It was the grin she usually wore when she and the girls finished school and headed to the arcade for some downtime.

Opening the window she jumped up smoothly. "Come on Eclipse, let's have some fun."


The air was fresh and invigorating as it whipped her ponytails around. Leaping from building to building with Eclipse she enjoyed the sensation of flying. She made it to the top of the tallest building in town and settled down to enjoy the setting sun. Eclipse curled up on her lap, purring as she absently stroked his back.

As the sun began to sink between the city-line casting a fiery orange glow to the buildings she let herself become immersed into the memories of her past. All the different bad guys they had fought, the weird ones, the scary one, the ones who had become good in the end. She had always believed that everyone had a speck of good in them, if they could only just find it and bring it out.

She recalled the good times as well. The friends that both knew her secret and those that didn't. She smiled as she thought of times spent at the arcade and the café. Times spent hunting demons and battling the next big enemy. Saving the world. Falling in love.

Serenity didn't think she would ever be able to fall in love again. Mamoru had been her destined. Through time and space they had kept coming back to each other, to love one another. They were soul mates and she didn't believe that she'd ever find someone else to love like that.

Sighing deeply as the tears began again she looked at Eclipse. "Aren't we a pair of depressed saps." she said, as the last ray of sunlight disappeared. She could feel the moonlight on her back, giving her strength and she wondered if the moon kingdom had ever existed in this world. It didn't seem likely.

Getting up she once more began jumping through the night sky, soaking in the rays of the moon and the planets themselves. Tears blurred her vision, but not enough to hamper her leaps. She let the tears come. Let them wash out the pain and hurt and even the anger that she hadn't realized was there.

When she got back into her room and closed the window she sunk onto the bed in her pyjamas and began to loosen her buns. She dried her tears, determined to move on from here. Opening her locket she let the music play as she drifted off to sleep.

For the first time since the split, she slept peacefully.


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