Yeah it's a little sudden to get the next chapter of this but…I really wanted to get this one out. Don't worry it was doing during the week so I can get the next What We… out this week too…but I really felt the need for this one. You'll understand after its complete…some of my reviews always have to be ONE CHAPTER TO SOON

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 4

For a change, Ritsuko actually thought things were going a bit better for her and her flatmates. A full week went by without her having scared, yelled at, or otherwise rattled Shinji in anyway! It was small progress, but any progress was a godsend. It was a tiny mark of pride in the scientist that the boy didn't immediately vacate the room she was in if they would be alone together. They didn't talk much, mostly like computers, that being data only no needless communication, but they did talk a little.

Shinji even surprised her by watching one of her movies with her the night before, Kaji had been called by his government contact and left for the night. A full night of just them, small almost normal human conversation, but the alcohol helped a little. What bothered Ritsuko the most was the fact that Shinji called the end of the 'faux documentary' well before she remembered doing it herself the first time she watched it.

Now sitting the long way across the supper table from the boy, Ritsuko wasn't quite as intimidated by him. Kaji being around did calm Shinji down, her beau did have that affect on others. Sampling the meal, curry, Ritsuko wafted the pungent smell to her nostrils before depositing the delicacy in her mouth. "Spicy, just the way I like it, good job," she winked at the lad and was shocked to see him smile back.

Pouring his helping of curry into a waiting cup of ramen, Kaji licked his lips in anticipation. "If you got her gold-star I can't wait to get a bite," the man's voice was chipper and upbeat as always. Stirring the mixture thoroughly, Kaji stopped when both sets of eyes fell upon him questioningly. "What? This is the best way to get real curry flavored ramen, didn't I teach you guys this trick before?" he questioned before slurping up the noodles.

Giggling despite himself, Shinji just shook his head. "I don't think you have. And I don't think I've seen anybody eat ramen like that before either," Shinji critiqued and fell comfortably back against his chair. "You seem to be in a real good mood today too, Kaji-san. Did something good happen at work to keep you there so long? I almost didn't think you'd be here for supper," the boy asked as he reached down to sneak a treat to the little beggars.

"Keep doing that Shinji and they'll get fat," Ritsuko said without missing a beat. She could tell he was feeding her ungrateful felines, wondered if that was why the adored him so much. "And yes, Kaji, do tell us why you never came home last night and why you were at Nerv all day?" she peeked with one open eye at the man. They had all left Nerv after a synchronization test together, planned on sharing the movie experience, but Kaji just left. Normally he'd call her when he was going to be late, the spy game played horribly on her nerves after all.

Winking twice with his left eye, the signal they chose to signify it was time for play-language, Kaji slurped up more food. "Tenkawa-san really kept me late last night. He was ecstatic to see those documents. Seems those chemicals are used in artificially aging human cells. Slept on his couch while he finished going over every damn thing you got me, really got him off my back," Kaji leaned over and kissed the frazzled woman on the cheek. "After that I had my morning shift, and get this! Motoko actually has a date!" the man almost fell out of his seat laughing.

It made her day to know she helped Kaji, really gave meaning to her life. Helping him made it feel like she wasn't just taking from him, that she was contributing something other than a warm body filled with problems. "Well I hope he didn't pay for this one, news says 'pay-dates' are back on the rise," she let out a single half laugh and chased it with some barley tea. "And since we're on social topics, how are things going for you at school?" like Shinji, Ritsuko felt more comfortable talking to the other while Kaji was around to smooth over any rough ground.

Chewing on a particularly spicy piece of carrot, Shinji nearly chocked at the sudden attention. It took a big gulp of water and Kaji's back patting to make the unruly vegetable submit to destruction via stomach. "I uh…I called in Touji's favor today," his face red from the near strangulation or humiliation. "I said something to embarrass Ayanami so I tried to make her laugh…stuck my finger up his nose and made a silly face. A lot of people laughed…" he didn't continue.

"Long way to go for somebody that punched you day one," Kaji grabbed and shook the boy's shoulder. "Proud of you, our little social caterpillar is becoming a butterfly as we speak. Next you'll actually be talking to her or one of the girls that actually laughed," Kaji congratulated. Favoring himself a soft drink, he took a mighty chug to wash the spice away. "Or has the cold and aloof Ayanami already burrowed a way into your sites?" he winked playfully.

Alternating between Ritsuko and Kaji, Shinji had the looks of somebody about ready to run. "It's not like that, really," he clarified as he picked at his almost empty plate. "I don't know her that well. I only really talked to her once, besides the comment today…said she'd be a good mother," his face did garner some additional crimson. Kaji's and Ritsuko's laughing didn't help. "A-and yesterday during the test I saw her talking to my f-father…she actually looked almost happy," he set his chopsticks down, the rest of his food would go uneaten.

Thumbing her nose, Ritsuko wasn't to keen on the commander, but he got the job done. "I can't say I know Ayanami much myself," she didn't know if she hated or was afraid of the girl. Her mother's notes were sketchy on Rei, but they weren't happy. "But she does appear to get along well with Commander Ikari, not so much Fuyutski though," Ritsuko couldn't recall a single time Rei even spoke to the Sub-Commander. As she thought of the peculiar girl, a memory came flaring to life, "Oh speaking of Ayanami I'm going to have to get her new ID to her before the activation test tomorrow…just don't know when the hell I'll get around to it," she moaned. Why Fuyutski had given it to her of all people to get to Rei was beyond her.

Whether it was a sudden desire to do a favor for Ritsuko or the wish to talk with Rei, the doctor was left to guess, but Shinji's head peeked up. "I-I could give it to her. At-at school tomorrow I can give it to her," he tentatively reached out and snatched up the badge Ritsuko dropped on the table. Holding the card reverently in his hands, he gazed questioningly at the picture, "Maybe I can apologize again for making her uncomfortable."

"What if she's not at school, Shinji-kun, she is known to miss from time to time," Kaji asked from behind the rim of his can. His features were honed and reading Shinji's every move for any body language that could give the lad up. Setting the can, now empty, down with a small 'tin', Kaji let out a mighty belch, "We could get you her address I guess. You could pick her up on your way to Nerv if all else fails."

"I-I know where she lives already," the boy squeaked out. Cringing back as both Ritsuko and Kaji leaned in with sudden unexpected zeal, he dropped the badge back on the table. "When I ca-came back last week, I came in from her side of town. S-saw her leaving her building heading for school," he finished his water and started gathering plates. "So…if I have to be at Nerv so early tomorrow and the test isn't till seven or so…what can I do there?" he asked with all the telling of somebody pleading to change the topic.

Was he developing feelings for Rei, or was it just human curiosity. Ritsuko was actually interested to know. Shinji had all the signs of somebody that would have issues with relationships, but if he was interested in Rei that would be a site to see. "I'm going to go swimming myself as we wait, you could bring a suit with you," she offered off handedly. He was an interesting boy when Ritsuko didn't have to directly interact with him. The way he went about life trying to please everybody and offend nobody. Constantly afraid of reprisal…reminded her painfully of herself before Misato and Kaji entered her life.

Taking the plate from Kaji's outstretched hand, Shinji's sighed. "I can't swim…I don't think humans were meant to float," he averted his eyes from Ritsuko. His feat shuffled dejectedly as he moved to the kitchen.

"Well Ritsuko does have a heads up on you with her built in floatation devices though, doesn't she Shinji," Kaji called jokingly. His head pulled back to catch sight of the boy's back. The sound of dishes not being placed but dropped into the sink was the response from the kitchen. "You ok in there Shinji?" Kaji turned to Ritsuko worriedly.

Rushing out of the kitchen and towards his room, face blazon, "I'm going to go to be early tonight. I'll get Ayanami her badge. Night!" His body was a human torpedo locked onto the solace of his room, and the safety of solitude.

Elbows propped up on the table, Kaji scrunched up his face. "That was odd, you think it was something I said? He's timid about girls and all but I don't know why mentioning my favorite pair would freak him out so much," the spy quipped and nearly jumped as Luna brushed up along his leg on her way to Shinji's room.

Pounding the table once, Ritsuko laughed so hard tears came to her eyes. "I…I…Oh god I can't talk…" her lungs couldn't keep enough air in them to say the words she needed to. Neither Shinji nor she mentioned the little show from Shinji's return home, but Ritsuko had no doubt what sent Shinji off with his tail between his legs. Taking three stuttering breaths, she finally got herself under control. "The day Shinji got back from his walk-about…after you left…" Ritsuko leaned in and whispered the rest in Kaji's ear.

The 'WHAT' Kaji screamed garnered the pair a warning the next day from management for noise volition.

X-X

Maybe he shouldn't have been so confident in wanting to help Ritsuko, Shinji reconsidered. The humidity was on the rise as he walking squarely towards the sun and Ayanami's apartment. She hadn't been at school, and that meant he was going to have to make a private visit to her apartment. Thankfully her address with apartment number was on the card, he knew the building just nothing else till he read it. He kept telling himself not to be worried or self conscious, he was just delivering her card. That was all, no ulterior motive.

"Why is there a car…" he muttered to himself as he finally made the last drive towards his first destination. He hadn't seen a car that was functional in blocks, and yet there sat a very expensive looking one right outside the door to Rei's place. "Is…is that…" he licked his lips and came to a stop. What if that was his father's car, what if his father was visiting Rei?

A flair of jealousy raged up inside him, deep and bitter like a long spoiled fruit. His father could visit Ayanami but he couldn't spare him two minutes for a phone conversation. Kaji's words that his father didn't deserve the affection he lavished on the man never felt truer to Shinji then they did at that one moment. But with his jealousy came fear. What if his father didn't want him to visit Rei or something?

Eyeing the alley adjacent to Rei's building, Shinji dashed inside amid the smelly trashcans and free flowing garbage. Bravery was overrated, and interacting with his estranged father wasn't something for today, maybe another day. For ten minutes Shinji hid behind a rusty trash bin, waiting and watching the car. Thoughts and worries about upsetting Ayanami again were flung from his mind, replaced with the dread of standing before his father.

When he heard the door open to the complex, Shinji sucked in his breath and his head became dizzy. Anticipation for seeing the back of his father's head, the burnt hands he had only once glimpsed, and hopefully nothing else.

But it wasn't his father he saw climbing into the car, that luxurious black classy car. It was the man that was always with his father, it was the sub-commander. Fumbling forward, Shinji bounced off the bin with his shoulder causing the contents to rattle and crash inside. Instinctually, the lad pulled back and drew close in on himself. He almost wet himself with a fear he couldn't rationalize.

"Somebody there? Hello?" Kozo called out taking large fugitive steps towards the alley. "Say something!" the older man yelled and took several more steps towards the dumpster.

Please go away! Please go away! PLEASE GO AWAY! Shinji's mind begged and pleaded. He couldn't tell why he was so afraid though, just something deep in him stated it was best to stay hidden, away from anybodies sight for now. Surely the man would question why he had hid, ask him all sorts of questions, and likely not believe the answers. His eyes clenched, his body frozen in place, he nearly collapsed when he heard the car door shut, the engine kick on, and finally drive away.

"What the hell is wrong with me, he seems like a nice enough guy," Shinji said to himself. But even then something didn't sit right. Why would the sub-commander visit Rei? Baring that, why would Ritsuko say that the man gave her Rei's card if he was planning a visit the next day? "M-Maybe it was a spur of the moment thing…talking to her about the test today…yeah…" Shinji didn't like the distrust in his own voice.

Dusting himself off, the rust from the green dumpster was reluctant to release its hold it got from the humidity. His heart still racing in his chest, Shinji peeked out of the alley, only once he was sure the car was far enough away did he sneak out and rush to the door to the apartment. Stepping in, he had hoped to be relieved with some air conditioning, but no, not in that building.

The building, to Shinji anyway, appeared vacant. He knew better of course, but that was the only reason he ascended the steps to the fourth floor. "Well she has to be here or she'd have left with Fuyutski-san," he reasoned as he lightly rapped on the girl's door.

No response.

He knocked again, harder this time.

No response.

Mustering what was left of his waning courage; Shinji tried the door and miraculously found it open. "Ayanami-san, your door is open! I-I'm coming in!" he hoped his voice carried through the apartment. This is too much for me! Just leave the card in her mailbox and be done with this! He wasn't ready to talk to Rei again, not after the disaster the last time had been and his mother comment.

Finding the mailbox overburden with junk mail and fliers however, Shinji groaned as fate had it in for him. "She'd never find it in that mess, she must not check it," he begrudged. Walking further into the blistering hot apartment, no A/C here either for the hot lad, Shinji was instantly assailed by a noxious stench. But it was a stench he recognized faintly from Kaji and Ritsuko's bedding, just on a level far more nauseating.

His little chat with Kaji after moving in, which left him red faced and embarrassed, had filled him in on a few things. A sock on the apartment door meant, take a walk because the two lovers were exploring a few things. It only happened once, and the smell of the sheets Shinji cleaned had been similar to the stench he smelled now. But that wasn't possible, no…Touji said Rei didn't have a boyfriend, Rei hardly talked to people.

"A-Ayanami are you in here?" Shinji called out again stepping past a large assortment of bandages and cast off tissue paper. The smell was mostly coming from that pile, a horrid combination of the bloody bandages and whatever excretion was on the tissues. Another thing Shinji noticed as he entered the only real room in the apartment was the slovenly state of it. Now he wasn't a clean freak, but he was sickened by what he saw.

Besides a stack of books in one corner, an impeccably kept viola, and a small dresser with some beakers and vials on it, Shinji found nearly no signs of life. Dirt and grim were everywhere, dust wafted in the air and danced in the light that streamed through the cracked window. "I'll just put it by…on that dresser," he swallowed hard and tried not to step on anything as he walked towards it.

Setting the image that had nearly captivated him the night before on the stand; Shinji was sidetracked by the fluids in the test tube and beakers. A small sparkling of the water in the beaker held a quaint majestic quality. Purity in a sea of dirt, clean and untainted amid the surroundings thrust upon it. "Does she not have any glasses?" he asked himself bending closer to inspect the tools that appeared so out of place.

His attention was instantly shifted however when a tiny speck of light blossomed into a full fledged beckon. The bathroom door opened, and there standing before him with only a towel draped over her shoulders, was the mysterious yet alluring First Child. Quite despite himself, Shinji noticed that Rei was in fact a natural blue haired girl as his eyes drifted low for the one thing Ritsuko did not accidentally show him. "A-A-A" he tried saying her name but his vocal cords locked up.

Her head tilted to the side in a bird like manner as Rei observed the intruder to her domain. A frown, tiny but present on her features was the only indication of her attitude towards the invasion of both privacy and residency. "Ikari," she said listlessly as she let the towel drop from her shoulders.

Taking blind steps backwards as Rei approached, Shinji expected what any teenager would upon stumbling upon a nude female. He expected physical retaliation, a scream, or anything else to show she was upset or angry. "W-what are you…A-Ayanami?" his voice was high pitched even for him as the girl continued to close the distance between them. "W-what was sub commander F-Fuyutski doing he-ere?" he drawled as he continued his backward stumbling. Yelping as he finally connected with something solid, her bed, Shinji fell back and a dust plumb erupted from the mattress.

"He was here for an appointment, I assume that is why you are here," the flat monotone voice hinted at something, something that might have been sadness. Sitting on her bed, Rei hovered over the prone body of the boy on her bed. "Am I correct?" her face was near inches from his, here red eyes boring down relentlessly on the male.

"NO!" Shinji's shrill voice echoed loudly in the tiny room. Watching Rei pull back in shock, the frown on her face twisting into a parody of confusion, Shinji felt faint. "I…your dresser…card…Ritsuko-san…she-she wanted me to give it to you…you're old one…ex-expired," he rolled to the side escaping the hovering child. "I-I'm sorry for barging in…door open, nobody answered…sorry," he gasped as he forced his weak legs to carry his body up to standing and rush to the hall to the door.

Sitting back up on the bed, Rei glanced over at the beakers and did see a new badge staring blankly back at her. "I see. Has it been tested?" she grabbed her discarded shirt and pulled it on as she spoke. Grabbing her nearly torn undergarment, she slid them on and grimaced as the elastic band was indeed broken.

He couldn't keep his eyes focused, his fingers tensed and un-tensed randomly and not in accordance to his wishes. Just what the hell did he stumble in on! Why did she hang over him like that, oh god the smell was getting worse. He had to get out, get out and think over this whole mess. Better yet he had to tell Kaji or Ritsuko…SOMEBODY had to know what the hell was going on, and it wasn't him. His thoughts went to dark places that made him want to wretch, but he had to be wrong. Things like that only happened on the TV show of the week.

"I-I don't know…I could wait for you at the doors though…if it doesn't work…let you in?" he tried to get his uncooperative lungs to force the words out, but they only came out in sudden bursts followed by silence. Every fiber of his being was saying something was horribly wrong, that he had to run. But if he ran…ran totally from this thing he might have found…who would put a stop to it?

He couldn't do that! Yes he was a coward, yes he was weak, but he wasn't that selfish. He could tell somebody, Kaji or Ritsuko would know more…would tell him the truth. Something like Kozo came to administer some medical test or something, something to explain what his over active imagination was making him think. "W-would that be alright Ayanami?"

Already buttoning her skirt, Rei nodded with an accompanying, "Acceptable." As the word hung limply in the air, she heard the door shut as Shinji vacated the room. "He did not come as He did…he came to give me my card and nothing more…" her frown lessened even more she almost looked bored, her lips a thin flat line. "That is acceptable," she grabbed her new ID and tossed the old away.

X-X

Running up to Ritsuko at the bay of computers, Kaji hadn't really expected a call from her, least of all one so perturbed. "What's up babe, the test is in about twenty minutes, and I was planning to watch it with the guys up in the command bridge," he huffed out wiping a bead of sweat from his brow. Damn complex had plenty of elevators, but it they were always going the wrong way when he needed one. It was Ritsuko's expression, one he so rarely saw, that put Kaji on edge, "Something wrong?"

Pointing at the monitor, Ritsuko gazed over Kaji's shoulder at Maya and the other techs. "You haven't told Shinji about those rumors about the commanders and Ayanami have you?" she kept alternating between Kaji and the monitor showing Shinji's worried face and a large mute overlay. "I know he could have heard if from just about anybody else on base, but I really doubt he's been talking to people besides you and I," she grabbed at her arms.

Waving at the boy, Kaji shrugged with growing worry, "No, why would I? I think that's a piece of shit rumor. Why somebody tell him and weird him out or something?" Kaji did think Shinji was a bit naïve, but to believe one of the commanders was a sicko was something else. Ritsuko's face paled further, and Kaji tried laughing through his discomfort, "That is it isn't it?" Oh God he hoped it was just a big joke.

Flipping the microphone back on, Ritsuko hovered over the monitor and lowered the volume. "Shinji-kun, tell Kaji the same thing you told me, don't leave out any details alright. I'm sure it's all a miss understanding, but just to be safe," she didn't sound very convincing.

Doe eyed and twitching with pent up nervousness, Shinji looked about as uncomfortable as he could get. "Well it's just I saw the sub-commander leaving Ayanami's apartment when I went to deliver her card. He-he was there for over ten minutes…I was hiding in the alley thinking it was my father," Shinji turned away from the camera and fidgeted in the entry plug. "A-after he left I went up to drop the card off, but she didn't answer the door so I went in to leave it someplace she'd find it. T-turns out she was in the shower…and it smelled really bad in there…but if she was in the shower when I got in…wouldn't that mean she was in it when the Sub-Commander was in there?" his voice cracked but concern edged out over his fear.

"Alright boss, I'll check into it and make sure your lovely princess is safe," Kaji winked at Shinji and flipped the volume back to mute. Putting his back to the camera, just in case Shinji had developed the ability to read lips and didn't tell anybody, Kaji rotated his head and popped his neck. "I don't see the concern, babe, so what if the old coot was at her place. She likely got in the shower or something after he left and Shinji just missed the time or something. And we know she isn't the most social creature so her place is just dirty I bet," Kaji would never admit it, but if Ritsuko wasn't around he'd have lived like a pig.

Standing with Kaji between her and the camera, Ritsuko put her palm to her forehead and shuddered. "Kaji…he gave me the card to give to her. Why would he do that if he was planning a visit? And Shinji didn't tell you the full story he told me. He said it smelled like our sheets in there. Could you go and just check it out while everybody is distracted by the reactivation test?" she put her hand pleadingly on his arm.

"If YOU'RE asking me to check out Ayanami I really don't have an option do I?" Kaji was visibly shaken. He knew his woman had an issue with Rei, at times Kaji thought she hated Ayanami. Leaning in and kissing her cheek, "Call me after the test is over so I know my time is almost up. And I'm betting this is all a big load of misunderstandings," oh how he prayed that was the case. Nothing would make the shit explode faster than learning one of the commanders had a thing for little kids.

With one last hand trailing down his back from Ritsuko, Kaji was off sprinting. His car, the ol' reliable piece of crap, was parked near the entrance ramp, and started with its typical gagging coughing rattle. Turning the stereo up loud, it helped keep his mind off the pure stupidity of what he was doing. "There is no way Shinji saw what he thought he did, no chance in hell!" but his hands were cold and clammy.

It made an odd sense his rational and darker mind whispered to him as he cleared the entrance ramp and hit the streets of the city. Who spent the most time with Ayanami? Kozo. Who was responsible for her medical records? Kozo. Who kept having Ritsuko assist him in testing odd things regarding Ayanami? Kozo. And who was the least likely person to suspect in such a sick thing? Kozo.

"Bullshit! I'm just buying into this shit because the old bastard is so secretive," Kaji crunched the butt of his last smoke between his teeth. His digging into Kozo's past wasn't very pretty either. Old man was a respected professor until he ran afoul one Yui Ikari, after that he quit his job at the university and joined with Gehrin. "This is just a waste of time," he muttered taking a large drag of his cigarette.

Slowing the car, it sputtered and crested to the side as one of the tires nearly blew out, Kaji put it into park right in front of Ayanami's building. "Wow…kid lives in a real shit hole," he whistled and spit out his cashed butt. Finding Rei's apartment number on a ratty ledger on an abandoned managers station, Kaji ascended the four flights of steps, not even bothering to check if the elevator worked. He half suspected the building was held together by a few million cockroaches holding hands.

"Let's get this farce over with quickly," he whispered. Pressing his back against the wall by the door, Kaji tried the handle and found the door unlocked. His blood was pumping now, this was the type of life he enjoyed living. Not the paper pusher, or meeting attender of his public face, but the do-or-die element of his real calling. With the suspicions about him already, if this turned out to be a bug hunt and he was caught? Well he'd have to run like a bitch to escape the hit squad.

Strike one came as he entered the apartment and the smell overwhelmed him. Gagging, he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and covered his mouth and nose. "Oh fuck he was right about the damn smell," he dry heaved. Stalking slowly into the building, the moonlight cast an occasional beam through the clouds into the single window. Trying the light switch one of the three bulbs flickered to life, the other two remained dead.

Kicking at a large pile of bandages and cast off tissue paper, Kaji found strike two. "Please tell me the girl either has a boyfriend or is selling herself for designer purses like those kids on the news," he knew both were untrue. Pulling a baggy and pen out of his inner pocket and without directly touching them propped several of the tissues into the bag.

The one good sign was the lack of a condom…he could hope that whatever happened here was foreplay and that was it. Knowing Rei had just recovered from some mighty damaging injuries, Kaji would suspect Kozo smart enough not to push the envelope least he get caught. "This isn't good…if it is him…what the fuck does that mean then?" Kaji pocketed the evidence and moved deeper into the apartment.

Nothing else, not that the evidence he had and the witness weren't damning enough, gave any proof to a male visit. Hell Kaji didn't really want to believe anybody lived in the dive, let along a teenage girl. I can't have her move in with us, Rits would never allow it. But what about the units next to ours? He was already thinking three steps ahead. If it was true, and the depression in his stomach making him want to pee was adding credence to it, then Rei was going to need support from friends. Shinji was the only person that came to mind having read Ayanami's profile.

Kneeling by the viola, Kaji picked the instrument up and held it at arms length as if it were a viper about to strike. "Why are you so clean when everything else is so dirty?" he asked the wooden instrument. Flipping it on its back, Kaji found the inscription.

'From Kozo'

Strike three.

Setting the instrument back where he picked it up, Kaji backed out of the door after shutting the light back off. "Nothing is definite until this gets tested…but if it is him…" Kaji swallowed hard and ran off back to the waiting car. He didn't like what his conscious was telling him…mocking him with. He had brushed off the rumors, put no stock in them at all. If it was true though, he had turned a blind eye to it, and that meant Ayanami had been suffering under the sick bastard's hand for how long?

On his drive back to Nerv, he called a few of his loyal contacts. A quick test would damn or save him. It wasn't impossible that some thug found Rei and opted to 'date' her. Rei hadn't the social graces to know the difference from being a warm body and being an actual girlfriend. But deep down, Kaji knew the truth already. He made his deposit to his men in medical, gave them the mandatory hush money, and was back in the car in less than ten minutes. They'd have the news for him by daybreak thanks to Nerv keeping files on everybody.

As he drove back home, thoughts of the upcoming days were jumbled and panicked. Ritsuko called, the test was successful, Unit-00 was back on the roster! He said he'd let her know what he found out later, he didn't want Shinji getting nervous or anything without due cause. If it was a teenage lothario, it'd do the lad's pride a mighty blow. However, if it was true, Shinji had in fact saved the girl from untold horror.

Unfortunately fate had other issues to attend to first, the fifth angel crested the Tokyo-3 horizon at dawn.

X-X

A strange day and a half indeed had transpired for the young Ayanami. Finding herself unnerved when Shinji's shrill scream reverberated out from the feed from the entry plug hadn't been anticipated. Why she cared at all was a mystery to her, but somehow she had actually been worried after the initial attack. When Ritsuko informed her that the pilot had indeed survived but would be incapacitated until later, Rei actually nodded and felt a sense of relief. Odd how those emotions that never get used fight to resurface from the places they hide.

Better news came just after she was freed from her own entry plug, having used her Eva to steal the rifle for the nights attack. Kaji had been the proponent of this news, and a hand written letter from the commander confirmed it. Kozo had been apprehended by security and was currently in the detention cells. While Rei didn't put much stock in Kaji's recounting of things, it was Gendo's note saying Kozo had over stepped his bounds and was to be severely punished that made Rei…feel.

Her coping mechanism had been hard and sturdy, but now it was fracturing. She felt so many things that it made her wish to never feel anything. Anger for being abused and lied to by Him. Hatred for the things he made her do, playing that damn viola, touching his flaccid member with her hands, and for his own use of his fingers in places not meant for him. But at the time she was under the false impression that Kozo could terminate her life if he so saw fit.

But the feelings, those mysterious and bothersome things, weren't all bad. Miraculously she felt relief. It was over, those things she hated doing were no longer there. She was freed of the burden He had placed on her. Maybe the most confusing emotion she felt was thankfulness. That boy, that strange and curious boy, had ended something she had expected to have to deal with all her life. Shinji ended things before He could bestow upon her 'the gift' he had so been looking forward too.

In hindsight Rei was happy to have been injured as severely as she had been. It prolonged His wishes long enough to make it a moot point. But still…the hate for that man grew and intensified a hundred fold upon learning it was all for his own sick pleasures. No matter though, even though she disliked it immensely, it was over. Now it was truly just eat, sleep, and Nerv.

Oh and protecting Shinji during the upcoming mission.

Pushing the tray of food and new plugsuit towards Shinji's medical suite, Rei stopped. The squeaky wheel of the cart peeled out in anger upon its grinding halt, but nobody heeded its rage. I owe him my life, if Kaji's words are to be believed. Now I owe him my freedom from Him. She could scarcely fathom what that meant, truly meant. All she new was her stomach felt strange, her legs not quite their sturdy dependable self.

Pushing open the flimsy door, Rei found the source of her newfound joy sitting up in bed staring out the window. He hadn't noticed her, he looked deep in thought, and with the small infraction of time, she studied him. Shinji wasn't big or small, wasn't particularly handsome nor was he ugly, and he didn't know he was naked covered only by a thin sheet. "I brought you food. You'll need to eat before the mission," she quipped and extended the mission outline. "You are exposed," she mentioned as her noticed the sheet tumbling lower giving her a glimpse of tiny hairs.

Yelping and pulling the aforementioned sheet up to his armpits, Shinji's face matched that of the setting sun. "S-sorry! Sorry…I've been apologizing to you a lot lately," he solemnly stated. Picking up the detailed report, he idly flipped though it.

"Does my presence here bother you?" Rei asked in her normal tone, but her eyebrow raised a smidgen. "I could leave you to your food if that is the case," she didn't know what to say to him. She never cared about conversation before, but somehow she felt the need to say something, anything to convey the odd sensation in her. But those atrophied brain cells had no way of acting.

Setting the report down, Shinji fell back against his pillow, careful to take the sheet with him. "I would think you'd be…be bothered by me, not the other way around," he absently grabbed the tray of food off the cart. Taking stock of what was on it, sniffing the air above it, he grimaced and dropped it back on the cart. "I can't seem to do anything but embarrasses you, or bother you. Even now I almost flashed you," he closed his eyes and laid down.

Again hearing him talk, Rei wanted, pleaded with her intellect to unfreeze and come up with some words some phrase to convey her feelings. She failed, as everything she thought of saying didn't quite seem to be right. "That is incorrect. I am not bothered by you," was the best she could come up with. Bending at the knees, Rei grabbed Shinji's new plugsuit and tossed it on the bed. "The operation is to begin in under three hours. I suggest you get some rest," she favored him with a soft nod and left the room as quietly as she entered.

Walking to the changing rooms, she felt a new sensation. Frustration. Why had her mind locked up, why did she keep seeing Him when she tried to speak. Words had never had any real meaning to her before. Sure she'd have a nice meal with the commander now and again, but it was more her listening to him talk than talking back. Now that she wanted to say even the tiniest of words of gratitude, her lips remained steadfastly sealed.

Standing outside the locker room, Rei's frustration finally boiled over and she slammed her fist against the wall. "Such thoughts are pointless. My connection is to Eva, my purpose is Eva, and that is what I must concentrate on," the pain in her hand helped her concentrate. Sliding out of her clothing, Rei stopped as she held her plugsuit in her hands. Memories, visions, and hateful pinches from her failures to appease Him flooded her mind.

A lone tear streaked down her cheek as she tried to lock those hateful mental protrusions back in the box in her mind. She had no time for such weaknesses. She had a mission tonight, and she would not fail. Shinji would be protected even if it cost her life, she owed it to him anyway as he had already done the same.

X-X

Faster, must move faster, faster still damn it! Speed was the only thing on Shinji's mind after the Fifth Angel was left sitting with a hole in its center. Dropping out of his entry plug with reckless abandon, the pain that blossomed in his ankle was hot and blinding. Yet through that pain he forced himself to hobble at a steady trot to his goal, Ayanami's plug.

"Please be ok, please, please, please be ok," he chorused as the pain in his ankle mocked him. The night air was crisp and cool, a stark contrast to what the day had been. He could hear crickets chirping and the brief glimpse of fireflies as he traversed the sparse distance between start and finish. His mind didn't register the simple majesty of nature, no it was highly tuned on the fact Rei had taken a good piece of that attack without protection, and fell silently to the ground after.

Kaji had informed him after Rei gave him his new plugsuit, informed him of what happened while he slept. Shinji could NOT let it end that way for her. Being put through something as bad as that only to die the same day as her liberation, if God existed she couldn't be that cruel. Unable to slow himself, the boy didn't stop but plowed into Ayanami's plug and dropped to the ground for the briefest moment.

Like a cork in water, Shinji shot back up to his feet as if he didn't just face plant into the metallic structure. His fingers danced against the entry panel entering the command to force the plug open. With a hiss the hatch burst open and a trickling, far less than it should have, LCL leaked out and pooled at his feet. Hoisting himself up, Shinji peered in without so much as breathing.

There she lay, head leaning against her chest, she looked asleep with one hand dangling on her side the other on her chest. "Ayanami! Ayanami say something," Shinji cried as he climbed deeper into the plug. The image of Unit-00 standing defiantly in front of him bathed in light refused to vacate his minds eye. She made no sign of life, nothing to signify she even heard him. Sliding his arms under her around her, her back to his chest, Shinji drug the unconscious girl from the plug and laid her as gently on the ground as he could.

She wasn't breathing. No simple rise and fall of her chest, that damn simple thing we always take for granted. For a moment, one mind shattering moment, Shinji panicked thinking she was dead. Bathed in moonlight her pale skin shimmered and seemed to glow.

"NO!" he screamed and put one fist just below her breasts and the other on top of it. It could NOT end that way! He wouldn't allow whatever killer god existed to take her yet! Pushing down hard and in a steady rhyme, he performed basic resuscitation techniques. Again and again he pressed, Rei's body bouncing against the ground with each push.

Then, like a mighty volcano, Rei erupted with the no-longer oxygenated LCL that had been clogging her lungs. Her eyes fluttered open, dazed and disorganized, her head wobbled around as consciousness returned to her. "I am…alive?" she propped herself up with her hands and saw her savior gazing back at her with tear lined eyes. "Ikari-kun?" she breathlessly asked.

He didn't care that Rei expelled her used LCL on his head, he didn't care about smelling like blood, because he only cared about her eyes being open. "Ayanami, you're alright!" he whimpered and fell backwards and sat heavily in the grass. His face split open with a relieved smile, "I was so worried you died. Y-you can't say goodbye before a mission like that…it-it makes me worry," he sniffed hard and ran his arm under his arm to get the cast off mucus.

"I apologize, but I do not know how…how to feel right now," Rei said with growing frustration and confusion. "You are crying, is it my fault?" she reached out and caught some of the liquid on her palm. Drawing her hand back she gazed upon the smeared excretion.

She was safe, just as odd as ever, but she was safe and alive. "I'm crying because I'm happy you're ok, Ayanami. And you can feel whatever you want to, just do what feels natural," oh how he wanted to give her a hug, something to convey his joy at her surviving being a living shield. But his fear prevented such an action. She was a stranger to him, one he wanted to befriend notwithstanding, but until he was sure it wouldn't offend her…well his arms would remain on the ground supporting himself.

Closing her eyes, Rei was a statue, a humanoid sized doll, and then in one brilliant moment she smiled. It lasted a whole five seconds before fading from a true smile to that of just upturned lips, but it had happened.

Shinji was too stunned to comment, such a show of emotion wasn't expected, welcome, but still unexpected. Helping Rei to her feet, the two stumbled to the approaching recovery team. They had won the day on multiple fronts, and it was time to rest, recuperate, and begin healing.

X-X

Authors Notes

I guess my attempt at masking the real culprit failed miserably. Everybody instantly assumed it was Gendo when I was trying to guide you all to Kozo. Well chalk that up to me not being good enough to convey things. Oh well. I had this idea burning in my head as soon as I finished the last chapter and did not want to wait a month to get to it. Hope you enjoyed it, despite the darker tones.

Anyway have fun and enjoy the rest of summer.

Update…shit just seems to like to piss with me for no real reason. As it turns out my apartments wiring is totally shit so my internet doesn't work. I had to load this chap on a flash drive, drive to a panara and upload it from there on my old laptop…so updates might be intermittent until this gets worked out. Sorry.

Ja-Mata!

Zentrodie

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