Author's Note:

I AM SO SORRY D:

I did not mean for this update to take so long, I'm so sorry.

Please don't hate me. :X

I had work every day for the past five days, and its 8 hours shifts at Polo Ralph Lauren and it seriously, seriously sucks.

This was supposed to be done and published three days ago, but as I said, I got called into work.

Also, to add to your unhappiness, this one is rather short. I'm sorry. But a short update is better than none at all, correct?

And the next one will be up tomorrow or Thursday.

I love all of my readers, thank you so much!

-Dana

Update: 8.11.10: There was an error in the details, minor, but it annoyed me. Fixed thanks to a reviewer!


Chapter Four:
Lusting for Sight

"Did you tell him?"

"About what Kagome said? Yeah, I did."

"And…?"

"He took it well. I didn't expect him to be upset or angry, but I knew he would take it to heart."

There was a pause of silence.

"Do you think he's dreaming?" Sango whispered.

"He seems peaceful, I'm not sure." Miroku answered. "Come, let's not disturb him."

I did dream. It was a painful dream, but not a bad dream. Kagome wasn't falling into the darkness of the Jewel, or just inches out of my reach.

This dream was different. She'd just been sitting next to me. It was night time, and we were looking at the moon. I asked her something, I don't remember what. All I remember is that she couldn't answer. Something was wrong with her voice.
I tried to help her, but it wasn't just her voice. She was having trouble breathing, too. And all I could think was that it was all my fault, and how could I have done this to her, and why did I let this happen…
The problem was… I didn't really know what was wrong. She could barely breathe and for some reason, I knew it was my fault.

Maybe its because I can barely remember the sound of her voice. I touched the enchanted beads on my neck. I'd give anything, even just to hear her "sit" me.
I relied on my dreams for her voice, and now I couldn't even hear its music there? What were dreams good for anyway?
The only thing my dreams seemed to be doing was getting crushed. And as if that didn't make me feel miserable enough, I had a headache. This was going to be some day.

I sat up and woke myself up a bit, stretching the sleep away. I never had to do this on a normal night. However, I did feel slightly replenished from my human sleep, save for the headache. And suddenly I was sick of laying down. I needed fresh air.

I got up and out, going to the nearby river. I washed my face to get the sleep away. It was cool and refreshing, which made me realize how hot of a day it was. I took off my red outer robe. A little better. But not much.
I laid down on a rather large rock that hung over the water. The rock was cool like the water. I listened to the running water. It helped my mind relax. It always did. I came here often. I hung my fingers over the edge, into the water.

My mind travelled back to few days after Kagome first got here. She was bathing in this very river. Kaede had given her spare priestess clothing to wear since hers were not dry yet. I had been sitting up above, listening to the conversation. Nothing interesting. I remember glancing down at Kagome. She had looked so beautiful, but at that time I didn't know her enough to call it "beautiful". I probably would've used the word "attractive" or "tempting". Or something along those lines. She caught me staring and sitted me, but she couldn't undo what I saw. I smiled.

Thinking of this reminded me of when I'd really seen her. When that ass of a sage was feeding humans to a demon tree so he could eat the tree's fruit of longevity. It was the night of the new moon, and I was vulnerable as all hell. But still, I'd managed to break the tool he'd used to "extract life" out of humans. He'd captured Kagome, and had to put her in some sort of "life extraction" bath since I broke his soul sucker.
I ran into that room with the bath, and she was so happy just to see me alive, she stood right up and showed me…
I took a deep breath to calm myself.1
Well, if I hadn't been so scared that she was dead, I probably wouldn't have been able to control myself. She was lucky I was human. If I had been my usual self, I would've jumped her.

I didn't stare though. I knew better than that. I was no ogling bastard.
I could imagine her embarrassment, so as soon as what I was looking at registered in my head, I looked away. After she'd recovered, she stepped out of the bath, covering herself with her hands. I kept my eyes away. I threw her my robe. She was cold.

I smirked to myself. Guess how I knew she was cold?

Anyway, by that time I did see her as beautiful. Not just something nice to look at.
When I asked the sage where Kagome was, he saw it immediately. He asked if I loved her, and laughed.
I knew I loved her. Somewhere in my head I knew. But I wouldn't admit it to my conscious.

Then there was the night where she first saw me as human. I still want to kill myself every time I think about that day. She was upset that I hadn't told her beforehand, because I didn't trust her. I had made her cry that night. 3 times. I hated myself for it. I still did.
I had put her in danger because I didn't want to tell anyone that I'd be a worthless, helpless, loser for about 8 hours. She saved me though. She saved me.
And on top of that, I'd been poisoned by a stupid spider demon and felt like crap. I asked her if I could fall asleep in her lap. She agreed, to my amazement.
I told her she smelled nice. I'm sure I creeped her out, and confused the hell out of her, since I always said I didn't like her scent, but whatever. I had an excuse. No blood +poison + human emotion = not thinking right. I was lucky I didn't say anything worse, like how beautiful her body was, or how I wanted to hold her as close to me as possible. I wanted her to run her fingers through my hair and make my pain go away. I wanted her.

The next day, I knew she wanted to ask me about what I'd said. But I couldn't let her; What was I supposed to say? That everything about her was beautiful? That she smelled so good I could almost taste her?

I heard her heart pounding while my head was in her lap. She was so nervous. She'd never been that close to me before. I could also smell her. It was the first time I smelled her real scent. Not just the shampoo and her clothes, I smelled her.

Thinking of this did not make my groin happy. I was constantly reminded of how much I wanted her by the tightness in my pants. The hot weather didn't make it easier, and it seemed to be getting hotter and more humid as my thoughts did the same. I missed seeing Kagome: her hair, her long endless legs, her curves. I missed her soft skin, her brown eyes, her soft lips.
My imagination suddenly ran wild before I could stop it.

Yep, definitely time for a cold swim.
I took off my second robe and my pants, and dove into the deepest part of the water. Cool, refreshing, and eh-hem, calming. I came up to the surface, shaking my wet hair out of my face. I looked up at the sky and felt the sun warming my face. I wondered if this same sun was warming her skin right now as well.

She really was beautiful.
Just then, Sango's words popped into my head: "She wished you could see how beautiful you are."

Two beautiful people in love; never to see the beauty of the other again, but still in love.


I know this was short. I know. Don't kill me please?

It was a filler. AKA an update that I made really fast because I was late for an update. There will be one with plot next time, not just Inuyasha's pointless rambling. Don't flame me. You know what? Go for it, flame me, cause I totally deserve it. But please continue reading :X

p.s. I reply to all reviews.