Author: VictoriaEsme and I

Not for the first time, he can't sleep because he's worried about her. Ever since the car accident she's been having nightmares and he's even more worried about her because she refuses to discuss them with him. She's been trying to conceal them from him, pretending that they are not happening. Last night however she woke him with a strangled sob when a particularly bad nightmare caught her off guard. Subsequently she's forcing him to sleep in the spare room, too embarrassed that he was allowed to see the momentary chink in her armour.

Jacob gives a heavy sigh as he rolls onto his side. He's uncomfortable, tired and worried. It's a struggle to sleep without her anyway but tonight he can barely settle for he's unsure whether she too is lying awake or is asleep but scared.

In the room at the other end of the hall, Connie was frustrated with herself. She wanted so much to be looked after, to be able to relax and just admit she was struggling, but she couldn't seem to let herself. She got close occasionally, but then she would remember another time she had let her walls down only to be hurt. In her heart she knew Jacob wasn't like that, but Connie's head had always ruled over her heart.

A frustrated groan left Connie's lips and she sat up, drawing her knees to her body. She still hurt, there were still bruises and cracked ribs, but she wouldn't take pain killers, because they signalled weakness. Signalled it to whom, she was unaware.

Her eyes stayed focused on the doorway, both willing Jacob to come back and willing him to stay away, because she saw the hurt in his eyes every time she pushed him away. He was hurting too, and she was making it worse.

She desperately wants to talk to Jacob about the dreams because she's sure that they aren't what he's expecting. The dreams are about the accident but instead of being at a conference, Jacob is ignoring Connie because she's pushed him away. Jacob is driving the car that crashes into hers and one of them always dies on impact. Sometimes it herself and she's forced to listen to Jacob confess his love over his lifeless body. Other times it's him that dies and she's forced to live without telling him how much she loves him. She normally wakes a little after that with a strangled sob, angry at herself for being such a closed book and frustrated that she can't seem to change, no matter how much she loves him.

Connie gave a frustrated sigh, tears threatening in her eyes as her ribs begin to ache. She thinks for a brief moment that she deserves the pain for all the trouble she has caused. She's close to letting herself cry before she gives an angry growl, frustrated at herself for being so weak and self pitying. A period of mentally chastising herself follows and in that moment not even the worst of Connie's enemies could have hated Connie as much as she hated herself.

Jacob hears a noise from the main bedroom, but spends a long time considering whether or not he should go back there. He wants to, desperately, but there was only so much rejection a person could take. If just once she would tell him that she needed him, he could put up with her pushing him away, but the more she pushed the less he wanted to push back. Maybe it was him that reminded her of the accident and caused her pain. After all, he had been on the phone with her at the time. Maybe the best thing he could do for her was to leave her alone.

He knew as soon as the thought came that it would be impossible. Connie was almost like a drug to him, and the less he saw her the more he needed her. It was this feeling that eventually led to him standing. He walked slowly, quietly down the hallway, hoping that Connie was finding some peace in her sleep finally, but when he got to the doorway of the bedroom, he found her sitting up, her knees drawn to her chest.

He opened his mouth to say her name, but he knows if he alerts her to his presence before he reaches the bed that she will tell him to leave. So instead, he makes his way to the bed, looking so big and empty despite the woman that was in it.

"Hey you" he greets softly, his voice lost a little in the darkness. Before Connie can register his presence he's on the bed beside her, his arms wrapped tightly around her body. He gives a gentle squeeze and even though a pain shoots through her ribs she doesn't mind because it's a reminder that they're both here, alive and together. A stark contrast from her horrible recurring nightmare.

"I couldn't sleep" he tells her softly.

"Me either" she murmurs, her voice no more than a whisper. "I wanted to talk to you" she suddenly admits, aware that if she doesn't say it now she probably never will.

"What about?" Jacob asked carefully, his lips pressing soft kisses into her forehead. Connie falls silent, unsure how to voice the thoughts that had been keeping her awake.

"The accident, the nightmares" she begins, her voice timid. "I'm really sorry" she finally concludes, unsure of what to say.

"Why are you sorry?" Jacob asked softly, another kiss finding its way to her forehead.

"The nightmares. I shouldn't be having them, I just don't know how to make them stop" she admits, struggling to overcome the lump in her throat.

"I know how to," Jacob speaks softly into her hair, breathing in the perfume that is so familiar to him.

"How?"

Connie sounds so vulnerable and scared that Jacob's heart begins to break. Maybe he should let her keep her walls up. It offered her protection, but it offered it to him, too. He loved her, and her pain was now his. "You tell me about them."

Connie shakes her head, but can longer get words to leave her mouth, the lump in her throat making it almost too painful to breathe, let alone speak.

Jacob presses another kiss to her forehead and his arms tighten for a moment again, making what little breath Connie is able to draw come in a sharp, cold blast. "...Am I in your nightmare?" He finally manages quietly, fighting against his own throat wanting to constrict to prevent him from asking the question that worries him mist.

Connie offers only a nod. When she tilts her head back to try and see Jacob's face in the dark, he offers her s perfectly broken smile, and in that moment she knows he is plagued by nightmares, too. So she fights against her head and goes with her heart. Connie tells him about her nightmares.

At first her words are slow and jumbled as she retells the story to Jacob. His heart quickens and slows in his horror. Soon her story changes not to what happened but what happens in her nightmares. As he recounts her night terrors Jacob finds himself struggling against the lump in his own throat but he tries to focus on Connie who is so close to tears.

He commends her strength because she never once gives into the sob that is playing on her lips. When she's done he holds her close, his hands playing with her hair. Jacob is surprised when her breathing begins to even out and even more surprised when he finds that she's fallen asleep.

Despite her slumber Jacob continues to talk to her, assuring her that she is safe and certainly well looked after.

"I won't let anything happen to you ever again" he promised her quietly, his voice muffled by the kisses he places in her hair. "You're so brave and I hope you know that I've never loved anyone more than I love you".

He takes until her body relaxes and although he waits up ready to soothe her when her nightmare comes.

He is as surprised as Connie when she wakes the following morning, nightmare free for the first time since the accident.