Countdown to Halloween 2014 — A Mythical Moment in Time
Title: Time
Author: AcrossTheSkyInStars
A/N: Hey everyone! So this is a quick little one-shot from me for the Halloween Countdown. All entries will be posted on Breath-of-twilight's profile at the end when this whole thing is done. Same deal as last time if anyone checked out Hope and Ruin. Some awesome stories, so please, PLEASE check them out. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of these lovely characters below, even though I wish I did. They all belong to SM :)
"Silent love is calling faith
To shatter me through your hallways
Into echoes you can feel
And rehearse the way you heal"
— Zedd: Find You
b.p.o.v
October 31st 2011
"This is it?" I asked Jasper, motioning to the house.
"That's what Alice said," Jasper replied with a shrug. He put the car in park behind a red Mercedes. "Her directions. This house is huge! My God. There must be a hundred people at this party."
I sighed. While I didn't mind going to a huge house party for Halloween, I also didn't want to be out all night.
"Great," I replied as unenthusiastically as I could.
"Oh come on," he told me, "it'll be fun. We're all set for the night, we're ready to do our Ghostbustin'!" He motioned to both of our costumes, the male and female Ghostbuster costumes from the party store — which Jasper had thought was all too hilarious. "Look, we'll stay for a few hours, have a drink or two, and we can go home, sound like a deal? I don't want to be out all night either. I have class tomorrow, too, babe."
I nodded. "Okay, sounds like a deal."
Jasper leaned across the seat, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. "Perfect. And you look amazing in that, by the way."
I laughed, swatting him on the arm. "And you look ridiculous in that. Let's go."
We got out of the car, heading up the stone steps of Alice's massively impressive house in the middle of nowhere. We all attended NYU together, and Alice Brandon — a girl I had met on only three occasions — seemed awfully fond of Jasper. They shared a few classes together and she had asked him out on a date before she'd realized he had a girlfriend.
And now she'd asked him here.
To say I wasn't looking forward to it was literally the least I could say about the situation.
Jasper didn't even bother knocking on the door, simply let himself in; the grand foyer was immaculate. The entire house was. Everything was decorated perfectly. Halloween to the extreme. Spider webs strung up, skeletons dangling, pumpkins lining the staircase, orange lights weaving in and out of the banister. Music pumped through the house, and the lights were dimmed, purple and orange, making it hard to see people clearly.
"Wow," I said to Jasper over the music, "this is incredible."
"Yeah," he told me, "it sure is something else. I can't believe how cool this is. Must have taken her ages to do."
I almost snorted. "I'm sure she had help."
He nodded, then laughed. "I guess so. Alright, what do you say we get ourselves a drink and go find Alice?"
"Yeah," I replied, "sure."
.
.
Jasper and I wandered through Alice's house in amazement for the better part of a half hour. We found some people we knew from NYU, dressed up in some ridiculous costumes, already three sheets to the wind. Eventually we came across something to drink; Jasper grabbed a beer, I poured myself a glass of red wine. We circled back to the foyer eventually, hovering near the stairs.
"Should we check upstairs? I see some people up there, too?" I said to him.
"We can," he replied. "I just want to say hi and let her know I actually came. I know she's not your favourite person."
"It's not that," I told him, "it's…look never mind. Let's go."
We passed jack-o-lanterns and skeletons on the way up, cobwebs and other Halloween fun. Although Jasper was right — Alice wasn't my favourite person — I had to hand it to her, the place looked fantastic. As if we had stepped into a haunted house.
Jasper turned left at the top of the steps, nodding to a few people as he went. I followed close behind, offering timid smiles. A few more steps down the hall, and I heard a loud voice, an argument.
"Oh, that's disgusting!" I heard a woman scream. "Shut the door next time, you sick freak!"
A loud slam followed, and I saw Alice stumble backward, into the middle of the hallway. Visibly drunk. Wearing a teeny-tiny police officer's uniform.
How fitting.
"Alice?" Jasper said over the music.
Alice turned, and when she saw Jasper her eyes lit up intensely. She took a couple of wobbly steps down the hallway and threw herself at him, beaming.
"You came!" she exclaimed. "Thank you. Hi, Bella."
I gave her a small wave, and stood there while Alice recounted to Jasper that she had walked in on a threesome in her parents' bedroom. I tried to hold back the snort, but it came out anyway.
"I'm sorry," I apologized, "that's kind of funny."
Alice glared at me, all messy hair, smeared makeup, and rumpled costume. She was shorter than I was, and small — a skinny little thing.
"It was most definitely not funny," she countered in agitation, "and whatever mess those assholes leave, I have to clean up in the morning."
I held up my hands in defence. "Okay, sorry. Look, I'm going to get another drink. I'll see yah later. Great party."
I turned and walked away, heading back down the stairs.
Jasper didn't follow.
.
.
I stood near a tall, statuesque gargoyle, glass of wine in hand. It had been well over half an hour since I had left Alice and Jasper alone upstairs, and right now, I really didn't care. He would come find me when he wanted to, and I was trying to calm down after just being around Alice. Something about her irritated me, and if I knew Jasper as well as I did, something about her did that for him, too.
Drunken people in Halloween costumes danced and played card games nearby, some stood around and chatted, sipping on drinks.
Another ten minutes went by before Jasper found me and my gargoyle.
"Have a new friend, there, do you?" he asked. He put his hand on the gargoyle's claw, joking, "It's a little sharp, Bella…not so sure how those are gonna feel."
I shrugged. "Well, there's a first time for everything, I suppose."
He shook his head. "Eh, I'm not so sure. Wouldn't wanna go smoking crack or anything outrageous."
I pursed my lips, contemplating. "Nah, I guess not. I like my teeth too much. They're pretty. My parents spent too much on braces to go smoking crack." I gave him a quick peck on the lips. "You're not just a handsome face."
"Not just a hat rack, my friend," he said, tapping on his temple.
I chuckled.
"Alright, you wanna get out of here?" he asked. He downed what he had left of his beer. "Alice was pissy upstairs, and that kind of just ruined it for me. I've had two of these, and I'm not having another one because I have to drive. I'm good if you are."
I nodded. "Please."
He leaned down, kissing me again. "Let's go, babe."
.
.
The drive back was quiet. The streets were dark, winding through thick forest. It wasn't going to take us long, but it worried me anyway.
"Just be careful," I told Jasper for the third time, "of like a deer or something. Those things come out of nowhere."
He chuckled. "That's usually how they come, out of nowhere. If people saw them coming, I would hope they'd slam on the brakes, babe."
I laughed. "Yeah, I guess."
I sunk down into my seat to get comfortable and reached out to turn on the radio. I fiddled with it for a minute, trying to find a station I liked. Thriller came on eventually, and I smiled, glancing over to Jasper.
"How perfect," I pointed out, "playing Thriller on Halloween."
"Amazing," he agreed, glancing at me, "every time."
Jasper and I both looked back out toward the road, and instead of the dark and quiet of the night, we were met with blinding light. The last thing I remembered before darkness swallowed me — before my life changed forever — was my scream for Jasper.
.
.
September 7th 2012
I sat up in bed, startling from sleep. "Every night," I grumbled restlessly. I glanced at the alarm clock on my nightstand, grimacing at the blood-red numbers taunting me with the time.
4:37
Seriously?
"Honestly, world? Really?" Words came out of my mouth, though I was talking to thin air. Nobody but myself. I was mostly just pissed off; tired, cranky, and royally agitated. It was the fourth night in a row this had happened. Not only that, tomorrow was my first day of senior year at Washington State University. Admittedly not the school I wanted to be graduating from, but circumstance made it that way.
With reluctance, I got up and padded down the hall to the washroom. I looked like hell, as if I hadn't slept in weeks. The circles beneath my eyes were dark. I felt more than exhausted. I felt…defeated.
I relieved myself, then went back to bed.
I stared up at the ceiling, blinking slowly in my attempt to sleep, listening to the quiet voice in my head telling me: Go back to bed, babe. I'm right here.
.
.
"I feel crazy," I replied.
I pulled a long-sleeved maroon shirt on over my head, adjusting it in the mirror over a pair of high-rise jeans. I laced on my boots afterward, huffing because I was starting to second guess my outfit; typical, for me. I had never been a particularly self-confident person.
And after this past year, my confidence had depleted completely. Gone. Zilch. None.
"You look amazing," Jasper told me. "You always do. And you're not crazy."
I turned, watching him as he lounged comfortably on my bed. He flashed me a cute smile.
I tried to smile back.
He had always been handsome; amazingly blonde hair, bright hazel eyes, defined facial features, and a strong build from how much time he had dedicated going to the gym. I had always said he put too much time into it, but he had thought otherwise.
"Well I think so," I countered, gesturing toward him, "I mean look at what's happening right now. I'm…"
I trailed off, pointing to Jasper still.
"You're…"
On the one hand, while Jasper was making himself perfectly comfortable where he was…there was also one problem.
He was dead.
Jasper laid back on my pillows, sprawled out; paler than paler. His blonde hair fell down into his eyes, just as it had on the day he died, as it always used to. He brushed it out of the way, watching me.
"Dead?" he replied. "Uh huh. I get that. Don't you watch the movies, sweetheart. Ghost? I'm your long-lost lover."
A small smirk formed at the corner of his mouth, and I pursed my lips.
"It's romantic."
"Jas-"
"You're pining-"
"Ja-"
"You can't stop thinking about me."
"Jasper Edward Whitlock!" I finally said.
"Ouch!" he retorted. "Full name. I always hated when you did that. Haven't heard it in a really long time." A trace of hurt flickered across his ashen face, and I rolled my eyes.
"Oh, fine. Just knock it off. But I feel like I've lost my mind," I admitted honestly. "How can I even see you?" My voice was quiet, concerned. "You've been gone for almost a year, Jasper…where did you even come from? Why now?"
Today, right now, the day I started school for the last time, was the day my undead boyfriend unceremoniously chose to appear in my bedroom. To say I fainted and hit my head on my dresser was an understatement. I was thanking whoever was out there for the wonders of Maybelline right about now.
"The other side?" he said, almost like it was a question. "I honestly have no clue, Bella. Everything looks the same to me, in life and in death. Only…you're the one person in the world who can hear me or see me. I don't know why — why it's you of all the people out there. Maybe because you were with me when I died?"
He paused, then sat up slightly on the bed.
"Because we were together so long?" he continued. "Because you seem to be struggling so hard and you need guidance? I really don't know."
I swallowed past the dryness in my mouth. "Struggling?"
"You moved across the country after I died, Bella. You're finishing university somewhere completely unfamiliar," he said quietly, "how are you not struggling? You don't even know this city. You should have talked to somebody."
I shook my head. "You died. I couldn't just…stay. Nothing made sense." I sat down on the edge of the bed. I stared at my hands.
"Which is why you should have talked to someone," he reasoned.
I nodded. "I know. I barely even talked to my parents after everything happened."
"I know, Bella." I looked up at him, flashing him a sad smile. "I wish you would have. Maybe it would have helped a little at the time? It could have helped you cope better."
My jaw tightened, and though I had missed his face — everything about him — I found it hard to look at him. He wasn't the same. He was Jasper, my Jasper, but so much different. His eyes were still beautiful, but they were sadder; his lips still thin and perfect, but set with a certain melancholy.
"I'm not sure," I admitted honestly, "and either way, it doesn't matter now. What's done is done. I'm here, I'm finishing school and…I'm getting by. No, I'm not doing great, but…I'm okay."
His lips pursed, and from across the bed, his ashen face became paler, ever so slightly. "If you say so, Bella, I believe you. I just want you to be okay. I want you to find somebody again. I want you to fall in love and be happy," Jasper told me. "You know I love you, always."
His voice was quieter, fading slowly.
"What's happening?" I asked him anxiously. "Where are you going?"
"I've been trying for days to talk to you," he softly replied, "I was lucky to even get through. I don't know if I'll get a chance again."
Jasper's face, his chest, his legs…everything blended easily into the bed, until I could hardly make out his facial features anymore.
"I promise I'll be happy again, Jasper," I vowed, "I swear. I love you, too."
Before I could hear his reply, he was gone.
"Promise," I whispered.
.
.
I walked into the auditorium, my third class of the day, already steadily filling with students. I followed a few girls down into the aisles, heading toward the front of the room; a low hum buzzed around me — the sound of eager chatter. Spots were still open in the front row, so I took a seat just off to the left, settling quietly. Once I set my bag near my feet, I pulled out a notebook and a pen, waiting for the professor to enter with the TAs.
I felt…fidgety. I tapped the pen against the notebook, anxious.
I couldn't stop thinking about Jasper; where he was, what he was doing.
Was he here now? Could he see me? Was he talking? Could I just not hear him?
I had so many questions. My mind was racing. I wanted to see him again, to ask him questions, and on the other hand…I wasn't sure if it was such a good idea. Bringing up the past when I was finally beginning to get away from everything didn't seem to be the smartest thing to do. Jasper and I had been in a car accident the year before, and while my injuries had only been minor, Jasper's had been so severe he had passed away in the hospital a few hours after the crash.
I had been…devastated. Numb. I couldn't believe the doctors when they first told me — refused to believe them. Denial had hit me hard and I had wandered down the hospital halls delirious, screaming out for Jasper.
It hadn't been until I'd remembered the drunk driver had swerved head on into Jasper's side of the car that I'd realized they were telling the truth. I relived it every day.
I tapped my pen against my notebook again, trying to get my mind off Jasper. I had come out West — had moved all the way across the country — to get away from what had happened last year. I was hoping a fresh start would help relieve some of the crushing weight I seemed to constantly feel.
I was also hoping the new school and classes were exactly the thing to do that.
Dr. Cullen's class, which I had quickly learned was a popular course, covered the progression of poetry from classical to modern day. It was one I had been very eager to take, and based on reviews from previous students, Dr. Cullen was one of the most insightful literary professors. If anything, this course was likely going to be my favourite.
I sat in my seat quietly, waiting for class to begin. Dr. Cullen came in a few minutes later, approached the podium at the front of the room, and promptly began the lecture. He was a tall, handsome man, with a shock of white-blonde hair. Dressed smartly in a pair of dress pants and a blue button-down, I suddenly realized why so many girls were so eager to take Dr. Cullen's class.
He was an extremely good looking, older man who taught poetry.
I only needed the course as an extra English credit to graduate, and I'd heard Dr. Cullen was one of the best professors. So here I sat, listening to the quiet chatter around me as Dr. Cullen began his lecture. Faint whispers reached me from girls behind and in front, and I rolled my eyes.
This was going to be a long year.
"Excuse me," a quiet, deep voice said from beside me.
I startled and glanced up, moving slightly to let someone past me. A guy sunk down into the seat next to me and nestled a messenger bag between his feet.
"You weren't saving this for anyone special, were you?" he asked with a small smirk.
He had a cute smile, and his green eyes were so very pretty. I couldn't help but stare for a second longer than I should have.
"Uh, no," I replied, "all yours."
"Perfect, much appreciated. And you haven't gotten the syllabus yet," he noted, handing me a sheet of paper. "I'm Edward, one of the TAs."
Edward.
I had a massive lump in my throat.
Jasper Edward Whitlock.
I shook his hand when he offered it, attempting to smile. "Bella."
"Beautiful name for a beautiful girl," he said with a wink.
I laughed, and just like that my anxiety dissipated. I swore I was almost blushing. "Thank you," I told him, gazing for a beat longer into those eyes once again. He was extremely good looking; strong jaw covered in a growing beard, thin lips, the beautiful eyes, a slightly crooked nose, all topped by a mess of copper-brown hair.
"You're not so bad yourself, there, sunshine," I offered in a whisper.
Was I…flirting?
Edward flashed me a wicked smile, then turned toward the front of the class, to where Dr. Cullen was talking away; about what I had absolutely no idea. I listened to most of the lecture — Edward and I whispered through some of it. If I had any questions abut the syllabus or classwork, I found I was more than comfortable talking to him. He was more than ready to answer my questions and talk with me.
Once the class was finished, I put away my notebook and pen. I stretched out my legs.
"And hey, I know my email and office hours are on the syllabus," Edward said from beside me, "but if you ever need anything else, here's my phone number. You know, just in case."
He handed me a piece of paper, with his name and phone number neatly printed.
"Oh, just in case, huh?" I joked, nudging him in the side.
Again…flirting? Me?
The corner of his mouth pulled up into a smile, and he shrugged. "Help with the class, if you wanna go grab a coffee sometime. Anything, Bella. Give me a shout. I'm around campus pretty much twenty-four-seven."
"Thank you," I replied, motioning to the piece of paper in my hand, "I appreciate it. Here, I'll give you mine, too." I took Edward's pen, scrawled my number and name down in his notebook, and put a tiny heart next to it. "There."
I was definitely flirting.
"Ooh," he remarked, attempting to read upside down, "Miss….Swan. I hardly know you, and you're already leaving hearts in my notebook. Tisk, tisk. We should go for that coffee first, at least. What do you say?"
"I'd love to," I told him, tapping my foot against the floor nervously, "I'm not done for the day, though. Still have two more classes."
"After, then," he said decidedly. "You have my number."
He shot me a wink, leaned over to plant a tiny kiss on my cheek, and he was gone.
I watched him walk away, down the final step to get to Dr. Cullen.
I looked at Edward's name on the piece of paper in my hand.
Edward Masen.
I sat there for another minute, recalling what Jasper had said earlier:
I want you to find somebody again. I want you to fall in love and be happy.
Edward may not have been that person exactly, but it was a start.
.
.
Partway through my last class of the day, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I kept taking notes, listening to the professor as she went on about Contemporary Literature. I didn't mind the course material, but the professor was a little…boring. Droning on in a tone that was completely flat. I couldn't wait to leave. A few minutes later, my phone went off again.
I pulled it out, glancing down at the screen.
Hey gorgeous, about ready for that coffee?
His cheesiness made me smile, and I shook my head as I reread the text message. It was closely followed by: Meet me in the Hillside Cafe if it's not too far for you
I sent Edward back a quick text telling him I would meet him there in twenty minutes. I pulled a map of the campus out of my bag, finding that the cafe wasn't all too far from where I was. I listened to the rest of my lecture in anxious anticipation, jiggling my leg and tapping my pen to keep myself from getting up and simply walking away from the lecture.
It was completely unlike me, but I was excited to go meet him. I wanted to see him again.
At the end of the lecture, I took a deep breath before I stood up, gathered my belongings, and left the lecture hall. I walked through the campus that was bustling with students, old and new. The weather was beautiful for this time of year, and my long-sleeved shirt was perfect for the slight breeze that accompanied the sun. It only took me a few minutes, but I found the cafe Edward had mentioned; it was a small, cozy place, smelling strongly of coffee beans and freshly baked pastries.
I saw Edward almost as soon as I entered, sitting comfortably at a booth with a cup of coffee and a couple of muffins in front of him.
He stood up when I approached him, leaning in for a hug. "Hey, beautiful," he greeted, "how was class?"
"Riveting," I said dryly, hugging him back. He smelled amazing.
He chuckled. "That bad, huh?"
I sat down next to him. "Awful. I had Dr…Stanley? God, she was the worst. Terrible. So monotone I could have cried."
"Oh, yeah…should have warned you about her," Edward winced, "may be the most boring prof I've ever had in my life."
"Good, great," I said sarcastically, "this should go splendidly."
"On the plus side," Edward countered, "I was a TA for her last year, so I may be able to help you out if you need it. There's always that."
I smiled at him, resting my head back against the booth seat we were occupying. "Amazing, that just made my day."
"I tend to do that," he joked. "I'm pretty awesome. Although I did not know what to get you to drink. Coffee? Tea?"
I scrunched my nose up. "Coffee, big no. Blegh. Hate the taste. I will take you up on a tea. I can grab it, though." I went to stand, but Edward was quicker.
"Don't be silly," he retorted, "I invited you. My treat. What would you like?"
I shook my head, smiling up at him. "English Breakfast would be perfect, thank you. Milk and sugar."
Edward returned a minute later, warm tea in hand. We fell into easy conversation about school, professors, life in general. He was three years older than I was, working on a graduate degree in English. He wasn't quite sure what he aspired to do with it yet, but he had high hopes for his future. Writing was his passion.
"And what about you, Miss Swan?" he asked. "Writer, editor, publicist? None of the above? Teacher, dare I say?"
I chuckled. "To be quite honest…I have absolutely no idea."
The cafe was still full of students, loud and bustling. Edward shrugged. "And hey, that's perfectly fine, too. You're…what, twenty-two? Nobody said you had to have this figured out now. You have plenty of time. The rest of your life ahead of you."
I bit on the inside of my cheek, casting my eyes down to my lap.
His words made me think of Jasper.
"I guess so," I replied.
"Exactly, tons of time," he said with a slight nod. He finished off what he had left of his coffee, then set the empty cup on the table. "Anyway, it has been an absolute pleasure chatting with you, Bella. I do have to run, though. Classes to get to, notes to take."
"I appreciate the company," I told him honestly, "you're the only person I've actually made friends with. I have a bachelor apartment out here, and I haven't done much else today but talk to you."
Edward laughed.
"Well then I am more than happy to be your only friend," he agreed, "count me in."
He leaned in for a hug, pulling me tight. He also snuck a quick peck on the cheek for good measure once again before he stood.
"And hey, if you're itching for another tea tomorrow afternoon, meet me here?" he said with a shrug. "I'll be around. Shoot me a text if you're down, okay? I'll see yah later, beautiful. Have an awesome day."
And with that, Edward was gone.
I had no clue where the guy came from, but I couldn't wipe the stupid smile off my face as I watched him walk away.
.
.
For the next few weeks, Edward and I met for coffee almost every day. When he wasn't with me, he was sending me funny text messages, making me smile, asking me how my day was. I sat next to him in Dr. Cullen's class, listening to him when he offered me tips on course material. He had been a TA for Dr. Cullen before and was an expert on his teaching style. He also knew the major themes Dr. Cullen looked for when grading his papers.
"So if you need any helpful pointers," Edward added at the end of class one day, "I'm your guy."
I laughed. "I bet you are. But thanks. If you want to come over one night and help, be my guest. I can literally take anything I can get. I'll most likely start this paper tonight actually. I'll make dinner, you help with the paper. Sound like a plan?"
Edward nodded. "Sounds wonderful to me, gorgeous."
.
.
"So, what's your poison? Beer, wine?" I called to Edward from the kitchen. "You can be oh so boring and have water or juice." I said it in jest, earning a hearty laugh in response.
"A beer would be wonderful," Edward conceded, "and this is a nice little place you have, by the way. Perfect for you."
I poured myself a glass of wine, grabbed a beer for Edward, and headed into the living room. He was taking his own little tour, admiring some of the pictures I had put up on the side tables and the walls. I had dozens of my family and friends from back home, the people I missed.
I also had a few of Jasper and I.
"Here," I said, handing Edward a bottle.
He took a swig, nodding in appreciation. "Thanks. And uh, hey…that, is…do you have a boyfriend?"
In the picture, Jasper and I were dressed up to go to a friend's wedding; we stood intimately close, a happy, smiling couple. I remembered the day like it was yesterday. He had always looked great in a suit, perfectly handsome.
"Oh, uh no. No," I assured, lightly touching his arm, "he's…"
I paused, turning toward the couch. I sat down on the arm.
"He's kind of your boyfriend?" Edward joked.
I took a healthy sip of wine, wishing my heart would stop hammering so hard in my chest. Edward took a seat on the chair beside the couch.
"Not exactly," I replied quietly, "he was my boyfriend. We were together for, well…almost three years, I guess. His name was Jasper. Sweetheart of a guy." It hurt and felt good to talk about him all at the same time. I swallowed the lump that had formed in the middle of my throat, glancing at Edward. "I told you how this was my first year at Washington State, yes?" When Edward nodded, I continued, "That's because I transferred from NYU. I moved across the country."
"Oh, okay. Because of him?"
"Basically," I agreed uneasily. "Around Halloween last year, Jasper and I were involved in a car accident. I came out with a couple of bumps and bruises, scrapes and cuts…minor injuries." The widening of Edward's eyes, how his hand flew to his mouth to cover it, showed his shock and disbelief. He understood where I was going with this. "Jasper," I kept going, still willing my heart to calm the hell down, "he…he passed away in the hospital a little while later."
"I…" Edward stumbled over his words, "Bella I'm so, so sorry. That, what I said, that was so uncalled for." He leaned forward to place his hand on my knee, comforting and affectionate. "I really do apologize. I had no idea."
I shrugged. "There's nothing to be sorry for, Edward," I assured, patting his hand. I brushed my thumb soothingly over his knuckles. "There's no way you could have known. It's really okay." I gave him a small smile. "I've never honestly talked to anyone about Jasper. Not my parents…not a therapist. I kind of just shut down. It was hard. I disconnected with friends for months, got lost in schoolwork, and at the end of the year, I decided to switch schools. I came out here for the summer, got this apartment, and spent my time doing things out here until school started."
He pursed his lips. "Do you still keep in touch with your parents, at least?"
I nodded. "Yeah, sure. But it's not much more than letting them know I'm okay, that school is fine, that money is okay. They try to ask me more but…I don't know. I can't really talk to them. You're the only person I've been able to open up to for some reason."
The corner of his lips pulled up in the slightest. "That means a lot, actually."
I smiled. "I'm not sure why, but…I feel totally comfortable around you."
Edward got up, settling himself on the couch. He motioned for me to sit next to him. I wiggled in beside him, laughing when Edward wiggled with me.
"Hey," Edward said from beside me.
I glanced up at him, and as soon as I turned my face, he took me by surprise and kissed me.
"Thank you," he whispered against my lips.
"For what?" I asked.
"For just…being this completely amazing chick," he replied, "I'm really glad I met you."
He kissed me again, then again, and I smiled. "I'm glad I met you, too." Edward and I continued to kiss, slow and sensual, and though it was nice — really nice — my stomach was beginning to tangle. In a good way and a bad way. "Um, just…one thing," I interrupted.
"Yeah?" he said, breathless.
He took the opportunity to set both our drinks on the coffee table, then returned to me, lightly kissing my jaw, then my lips again.
"I haven't, um…" I hesitated, unsure how to come out with it. "Haven't exactly…fuck," I stammered, "haven't been with anyone since…Jasper."
Edward's lips steadied against mine. "Oh," he breathed out, "right." He was still for another second before he kissed me. "I won't push you to do anything you don't want to do, Bella," he assured me. "You know that. Only what you're comfortable with. If this doesn't feel right to you, we can stop."
I brushed my lips over his, more certain with his words. "You make me feel comfortable," I said in a quiet voice, "I told you that. I just thought you should know if…you know — if I seem at all hesitant, or…what's the word—" I paused, searching for the right way to phrase it. "If I seem shy or unsure, it's only because I'm extremely nervous," I admitted, "whether or not I'm comfortable with you, I also haven't been with anyone in…over a year."
He chuckled softly, kissing the corner of my mouth. "God you're adorable."
I laughed with him. "How is what I just said anything close to adorable?"
"It just is."
And with that, Edward stood swiftly. He bent down, and in one quick movement picked me up, cradling me in his strong arms. I giggled, quieting when he kissed me.
My lips stayed attached to Edward's as he carried me to my bedroom.
.
.
Strong, warm hands held me from behind. I rested comfortably against Edward's naked chest, listening to the slow, deep breaths he took every few seconds. He ran his fingers along my bare stomach, tracing invisible patterns; large, looping circles that came across my belly button and made me stifle a giggle.
"You're so incredibly cute when you do that," Edward whispered in my ear.
I twisted my legs into the sheets, smiling. "It tickles, I can't help it."
"Still adorable," he argued, "you lose." He squeezed his arms tighter around me, holding me to him. "This is okay? So far so good?"
I responded with a light kiss to his bicep — strong and defined — and nodded. I couldn't put into words how much I loved the sight of Edward without a shirt. He had just the right amount of muscle definition, a decent set of arms on him, and a light smattering of hair on his stomach that led down into his low slung pair of jeans.
Combine that with the handsome face and crooked smile he always flashed me?
He screamed sexy.
"So far so good, sunshine," I assured.
I twisted in his arms, leaning up to kiss him. My hand made its way down his chest, my fingers brushing the fine, soft hairs until they grasped the button of his jeans. I snapped it open, drew down the zipper, and paused, stilling my lips against Edward's.
When I stopped, Edward took the opportunity to copy my actions, gliding his fingers over my stomach, teasing the skin. He reached my jeans eventually, unzipped them. He kissed me slowly, sweetly, though his hand remained unmoving.
It was killing me.
"Actually," I mumbled through the kiss, "small complaint."
I could feel Edward's smile. "Oh?"
"The pants," I told him, "yours…they look a little, I don't know, tight. You should probably just take them off." I gently pecked at his lips when he chuckled. "And mine are making me feel a little…itchy."
Edward raised a brow. "Itchy? Damn, where have those jeans been?"
I laughed, tossing my head back. "Christ, it has been a long time. Itchy is never sexy."
He rested his hand on my hip, slipping his fingers into the waistband of my jeans. "Not exactly. Maybe for a very small percentage of the population who have very strange fetishes, yes. But not for this guy, Bella, sorry."
I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth. "Darn." I went to sit, moving away from him. "Oh well, at least I tried."
"Hey, whoa, you're not going anywhere, missy," he said playfully, pulling me back toward him. "Itchy jeans or not, those things are coming off."
I laughed, settling on top of him when he cradled me against him. "Alright, Edward, you asked for it, though. Fair warning," I teased.
We picked up where we left off, slowly undressing, feeling each other out, going at our own languid pace. I was thankful Edward was so considerate; he never pushed me once. He was thoughtful and patient, kissing me exactly the way I needed to be kissed and paying attention to my body in a way I hadn't felt in so long — too long.
Before I knew it we were both completely bare to one another, side by side, face to face.
Edward dipped one hand down between my legs, grazing his fingers over the aroused skin. I gasped, bucking into him. They slipped lower, circling the warmth and wetness around my entrance. With only a split second of hesitation, Edward inserted one finger, gently pumping it in and out, slowly setting a tempo that made us both comfortable. The temptation became too much after only a minute, and although it had been a long time since I had touched a man, I reached out anyway, grasping Edward in my hand.
He was large and hard — a fair size larger than I remember Jasper being — and warm to the touch. He groaned at the contact, finding my lips with his, quickening the pace of his fingers. He shifted closer, his breaths laboured, intense.
"That feels amazing," I told him.
He kissed me harder, tongue rough against mine. "Likewise."
Edward shifted again, angling his leg until he draped it across my knee. I moved with him, positioning myself beneath him, making it hard to grip him properly anymore; making it awkward for him to pleasure me with those wonderful fingers of his.
"I don't think I have a condom, gorgeous," he said sadly, "and I'm assuming you don't either."
I sighed, murmuring, "Unfortunately not. I am on birth control, to regulate that monthly visitor. That's the best I can do."
He gently kissed me. "Only if you're okay with it."
I bit my lip, more eager than I'd ever been in my life. "If you don't have sex with me right now, I'll hurt you," I teased.
Edward chuckled, brushing his hand over my leg. "Yes, ma'am."
Just like before, Edward was thoughtful and sweet. He took his time. He guided himself into me slowly, resting one strong elbow near my head, using the other hand to grip my thigh. He held me close, pumping himself in and out, increasing his pace slowly. Sweat beaded on his dark brows, and his eyes — those beautiful eyes — watched me hungrily. I felt like the only person in the world.
"So beautiful," he told me, "fuck."
My hands were drawn to him — to all of him. His stomach, his arms, the nape of his neck; I drew a line with my finger down his spine, gasping when he hit a sweet spot inside me. I hitched my leg over his hip, provoking an even deeper angle I never knew existed. It almost made me sing.
God, how I had missed sex.
Edward sped up, responding to my gentle touches. Skin clapped against skin. I kissed Edward between breaths, moaning loudly when several quick thrusts triggered my orgasm. I cried out, scraping my nails agains the back of Edward's neck, digging my heel into his thigh. It only seemed to encourage him.
"So hot," he murmured.
He wasn't far behind me. He thrust into me impressively, sinking further onto his elbow to deepen our kisses. The moan died at the back of my throat, and when Edward's hips became harder and quicker against mine, I assumed he had to be ramping up to something; he had to be. Either that or the boy had some serious stamina.
With a couple more shallow thrusts, Edward groaned my name, hips stilling against mine.
We both took slow, deep breaths, calming ourselves down; Edward rested his forehead on my own, staring right into my eyes. I loved how green they were. I still remember not being able to look away the day we met.
"What's going on in that head of yours?" he asked.
"Truth?" I replied, "I was thinking of how pretty those eyes of yours are."
Edward chuckled. "These bad boys have gotten me out of a speeding ticket, you know."
I raised a brow. "Is that so?"
"Yep," Edward said with a nod, "wanna know the funny part?" When I tilted my head, Edward whispered, "The cop was a dude."
I laughed so loud I almost snorted. "That is…that is something else, Edward. Fabulous doesn't even cover it," I admitted, "bravo."
He gently slipped himself out of me, and laid beside me, holding me in his arms. We laid there for a while in silence, perfectly content, simply existing; it was the closest I had been with anyone in a very long time, and the closest I had wanted to be with anyone since Jasper had passed away. Being with Edward just felt right.
"I hope this wasn't too much for you," Edward said after a while.
I shook my head, tilting it until I could kiss him on the chin. "Not at all. Remember what I said? No sex and I hurt you? It was for your own safety, really."
He smirked. "Right. I did it for my own well-being."
I smiled back, then rested my head on his chest, feeling a wave of exhaustion hit me like a brick wall. I could tell it hit Edward, too, because he became silent again as well.
I still wasn't sure how I'd come across him at this point in my life, of all the people in the world, but I was beginning to think Edward was going to be a pretty special person to me.
I was starting to think I would finally be happy again.
.
.
A few days later I was on my way to the cafe to meet Edward, walking through the campus. It was busy with students, as it typically was, and the weather was perfect for fall, beautiful and crisp. It was mid October, a month that always reminded me of Jasper. Ever since I'd seen him, I couldn't go a day or two without thinking about him; since the anniversary of his death was coming up, it was even more frequent.
I joined Edward at the cafe for a coffee and a tea, had a small, impromptu date of sorts, and talked and laughed with him. Things with Edward came easy and natural. He made me happy. Nothing was forced or awkward. I didn't feel at all uncomfortable or uneasy. He just…was. I loved being around him. I felt like he made me a better person, and after opening up about Jasper, I felt like I could potentially — one day — do that with my parents.
Once Edward left for class, I wandered around campus a little more. Today was my day off, one of the few I did get, so I took my time to enjoy it. I admired the architecture of the buildings, the stonework, the gardens built and designed around the campus. I walked around for the better part of an hour in the beautiful weather before taking a seat on one of the stone benches in a courtyard.
I tilted my face up toward the sun, basking in the warmth.
"Enjoying the warm weather while it's here?" asked a familiar voice.
I startled so hard I almost fell off the bench.
"Christ-for the love of, holy fuck," I swore, "you, Jasper! You have got to stop doing that!" I turned glancing to my right. He sat next to me, the pale thing he was, smirk plastered across his face. "I'm going to have a heart attack one day."
I straightened myself, darting my eyes around to see if anyone else was near.
Talking to yourself was't exactly what people called normal.
"Oh, hell, it's hilarious," Jasper told me, "but sorry. I'm just lucky you can see me. I've been trying for days again."
I bit my lip. "It's really that hard?"
He nodded. His ashen face was just like I remembered, and his eyes were still remarkably sad. "It is. I probably won't try again. I just wanted to say I'm happy for you, Bella. And thank you, for trying. For getting out there and being happy. That's all I've wanted for you. Live the best life you can, please. For both of us."
"I will," I assured, "I'm getting there. You don't have to worry about me anymore. I promise."
He smiled. "Good to hear."
We didn't say anything else after that. There was nothing else to say.
A few minutes later, Jasper was gone.
It was the last time I ever saw him.
And even though it hurt to know, I knew everything was going to be okay. I had loved and lost, but life would make sense again. The pieces were coming back together, slowly but surely.
I just had to be patient.
The End
A/N: Thanks again for reading! Don't forget to check out the other awesome entries :)
