So for the first time in my life, I became selfish and I did what I had been urging to do. I hugged her. I pulled her in my arms and by God, for that moment, I was peaceful. It was perfect. That moment was the perfect dream of mine. But it was a dream indeed. For it was okay to be selfish, but in love you are required to be selfless. I forgot that. In search of my own happiness, I forgot that her happiness meant something too. It was Kyoko who I was hugging. The girl who was scarred by love. She won't fall into my arms. She'd stiffen in them. She didn't know how to be loved anymore. And she showed that she was okay. But it was no secret that she wasn't. I didn't have any scar from love. I never dared love. I was always too cautious to approach that radical emotion. But she had once walked that path with her heart on her sleeve. And it got broken. It got crushed. Now she simply hid the shattered pieces in a box in her soul. I had made a mistake, right?…

She stiffened upon hearing my words. She was shocked. I was a criminal barging in her private property. Barging in through her walls without permission. She must be scared of the intruder. I told myself. Pull away. NOW. You bastard, PULL AWAY. But at the same time I didn't want to. I wanted to remain selfish despite how cruel it was. Just for a second more, I was going to be selfish just for a second more. I needed it too much. I didn't want to let go. But I did. I let her go. Because I loved her too much. Damn, it hurt to let her out of my embrace.

She hastily moved back and stood up. I remained on the floor. What was I supposed to do in this situation? Apologize? Feign ignorance? I didn't want to do either. This woman was my everything. The reason I wanted to live life not simply endure it. I wasn't going to apologize. I didn't want to be selfless. However, I wouldn't be too selfish either. I'll make her mine from now.

Yes. She was scarred. I needed to move with caution indeed. But that caution should be displayed while moving forward not backing away again. I wasn't going to back out of this love. No. I won't.

The room was smothered by silence. I got on my feet. She was standing a bit away, looking anywhere but at me. Then she snapped her head in my direction, faked a laugh and put her hands on my shoulders, pushing me back to the bed. No. Darling. This time I won't cover it up and I won't let you cover it up either.

"That was a confession."

My words hung in the air between us. I didn't know what went on in her head. My heart was hammering against my rib case. Can she hear it? It was the loudest thing in the room. Should I make her hear it?

I moved towards her. She instinctively moved back. I grabbed her hand and put it on my chest.

"Can you feel it?" Her eyes widened. She felt it…

"That's my heart going crazy for you. It's scared and it's happy. But it's still beating so fast because it knows that its balm is here. You are here." I said softly and slowly. With each word she heard, it felt as if she got even quieter where in reality she hadn't even said a word.

I should stop here. A part of my heart whispered.

But, no. I won't. I will be cautious. Forever with every step I take in my life, I'd be cautious. But not now. Right now she had to hear me. I had to make her listen. She had to know she was loved. It doesn't mean she had to understand that. It didn't mean she had to accept that either. It just meant she had to be aware of that fact. That's it. I planned to make her understand what it meant to be loved as time would go by. She'd learn. We'd learn together.

"When you feel that you're never going to wake up again, the most important thing in your life is the only thing that flashes before your eyes. Mine was you. When I thought I'd die, I saw your face. I love you, Mogami Kyoko. I don't want to hide it anymore."

There. I put it into words. Did my tongue stagger? I wasn't sure. Did I say everything I wanted to? I didn't remember. I had just put it out. Bared myself before her. My heart felt like it would leap out of my mouth. It wanted to escape. I was breaking every rule of mine. I wasn't acting cautious. I wasn't being reserved. For the first time, I was bare. Vulnerable. My heart was confused and nervous. It was beyond scared. I was beyond scared.

Her hand was still on my chest. It was warm. I wanted to ask her to let it stay there for a while. I wanted to ask her to let me keep it forever…

"Can you feel my heart? Can you feel that it's scared too?" I whispered.

Say something, Kyoko. Say something or my brave façade will shatter and I fear I'll go back to being a coward again.

She looked at me. I couldn't comprehend her emotions. Her gaze was unfaltering. It seemed so sad so unsure so scared that I let her hand go unconsciously. She simply turned around and left.

I was left behind scared. Just very very scared. I felt a knife twisting in the pit of my stomach. I wasn't going to let her go. I intended to wait for her. But damn, it hurt like hell when she walked out without a word.