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I walk down the stairs prepared for the torrent of questions I am sure to face. Mum came knocking on my door last night, after presumably hearing about my dramatics from Luke and Maddie, but I refused to talk to her or anyone. I can't tell them about Jeremy. I just can't.
It's Monday today, which means school. This means me having to face everyone questioning me about Justin, means me having to see Justin and means me having to see Jeremy, my soulfinder.
My soulfinder. I still can't believe I have found him and yet he doesn't want to know me at all. I need to know why.
"Darling! You're up!" my mum squeals as she comes over to me and hug's me tight. She pulls back from me and looks up at me.
"What's wrong?" her eyes are full of sadness at my own sadness. I look over to dad who is sat at the breakfast bar, watching us both intently.
"I don't want to talk about it." I state simply hoping mum wouldn't question further, but my mum being my mum she couldn't leave it there
"Please, sweetie."
"Just leave it!"
"But…."
"Sky, sweetheart just leave it for now. Amelia will speak to us when she is ready." Dad say's looking at mum with pure love. How soulfinder's are meant to be. Mum nod's and walks over to sit next to dad.
I go to sit at the large round table, as Maddie and Luke walk into the kitchen. Both pairs of eyes settle on me as they enter the room, both of them looking sympathetically towards me.
"Morning." Maddie says and then usual morning breakfast routine ensues. Mum and dad both get plates and cutlery as Maddie and Luke make pancakes, it is usually my job to make the breakfast. Watching both sets of soulfinder's changed my mood from depression to jealously. Why can't I have that?
Mum is sat on dad's lap and both are smiling at each other, presumably having a telepathic conversation. Maddie and Luke are both laughing and smiling like nobody else exists as Luke wraps his arm around Maddie's waist and helps her flip a pancake. I can't stand this.
"I'm going." I say as get up from the table and sling my backpack over my shoulder. Everyone immediately turns to me.
"But what about breakfast?" Luke askes.
"Not hungry." I reply bluntly, continuing towards the door.
"But Justin isn't here to pick you up yet." Mum calls as I reach the door. As soon as I hear the words a wave of emotion hits me. Every day since we have been together Justin has taken me to and from school; I can drive but haven't yet gotten a car though I am hoping for one on my seventeenth in a months' time. But for now, I guess I'm left to walk.
"Justin isn't picking me up." I say as I turn back to face my family.
"Why not?" Mum questions.
"We broke up." My statement is met with shock from my family as I walk out without having to explain.
As I turn the corner onto my school I am met face to face with Jake.
"What happened with you and Justin?" He asks me and walks alongside me.
"We broke up, Jake."
"I know that but I mean why? You two were happy when I saw you two yesterday and suddenly you dump him just like that."
"It wasn't working." I respond trying to gulp down the tears. Jake stands in front of me just as reach the school and holds onto my shoulders.
"Amelia, you know you are still my friend no matter what just tell me the truth." I look into Jake's blue eyes and can feel my own blue eyes brim with tears. Once they start they can't stop and I feel Jake's arms wrap around me in comfort. I cry into his sweatshirt and he slowly pulls me away towards the back of the school as I realise everyone was watching us. Some quickly advert their gaze from us as soon as they saw me looking at them but others still continued to stare and whispered amongst themselves, no doubt making ridiculous rumours as usual.
My though is confirmed when a boy in my English lit lesson calls out "You don't waste time moving on!"
"Great." I whisper.
"Ignore them." I hear a voice at my side; I turn to see Justin standing on my right. He nods at Jake who promptly walks away leaving us alone. Justin doesn't say anything till we are round the side of the school and away from everyone else.
"Are you OK, Amelia?"
"You still care?" I choke out, amazed that he doesn't hate me right now.
"I will always love you and care about you. I want to still be friends and not let this get in the way of us, I'm sorry about hanging up on you yesterday."
"You shouldn't be sorry! I deserved it, I'm so sorry for this Justin. I still love you and want to be friends."
I can't believe how amazing Justin is! Why did I have to do this to him, all because of a guy who can't even stand to be near me yet alone love me.
"I'm glad we can be friends but I need to know why you broke up with me."
Oh god! I don't want to lie to Justin but he can't know the truth either.
"I need to be just myself for a while, not have any relationships."
He nod's and hugs me and I can't help but collapse in his arms, feeling what has become natural to me over mine and Justin's relationship. I rest my head in the crook of his neck and soak in a scent that is just so … Justin. He has to be the nicest guy in the world, he put up with all my craziness when we were together, but now when I have just dumped him without reason he still cares about me. Why can't Justin be my soulfinder? I still love him. I still wish I could be with him. But he is not my soulfinder.
He slowly draws away from me and looks me in the eyes.
"If you get any trouble just let me know, OK. I will always be here for you."
"Thank you, Justin." I once again try to conceal the tears I feel forming like a pending tsunami. Justin nods, sincerity clear in his eyes, and walks to his class leaving me stood alone.
I have to see Jeremy. To look into those deep green eyes and find out the truth. I'm not letting him leave me; I have caused my life to come crashing down on me all for him. Despite meeting him for a mere few minutes, and those minutes ending in him running from me, I can't stop thinking about him. All of this because of one simple fact, he is my soulfinder.
Dad had spoken to me about mum trying to run away at first, but that was because she didn't know what a savant is. Justin does know what savants and soulfinder's are, so maybe he is like aunt Phee and is caught up with some bad people. Of course there is another option, an option I don't want to consider; he just doesn't want to be with me.
No! It can't be that, once soulfinder's meet each other they can never be truly happy without each other. He must be in some sort of trouble and I will help him, I have too.
I walk into the school corridor and I'm instantly met with turning heads and whispered conversations, clearly centred on me. Everyone stares at me, all knowing about mine and Justin's break up, some even call a few things out to me but I don't focus on their words as I continue to my first lesson. Thankfully all of my closest friends are fully supportive of me and Justin has managed to stop the main speculations spreading around school. Some of the rumours are frankly laughable; I'm pregnant and Justin doesn't want a baby, I have been cheating on Justin with Jake, I have turned into a lesbian and so many more ridiculous rumours.
I'm not interested at all in all the rumours; all I care about is Jeremy Valentine.
All day I have been searching for him, but no sign of him. I have asked everyone but apparently he hasn't been at school at all today, for his first day. In fact nobody has seen him since Sunday when he was the talk of the town.
All of this confirmed the thing I was most afraid of; Jeremy doesn't want to be with me.
Sorry it has been a while for this update! Hope the wait has been worth it! Please let me know what you think :)
