Disclaimer: Same as always, I still don't own Grey's Anatomy, or the cast...it is still unfortunate.
I honestly didn't do a great job on the last chapter, but this one is hopefully better. Thanks for the reviews and please keep them coming, it would be cool.
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Addison was scared, more scared than she had ever been in her life. She lay in the hospital bed, desperately praying that something would change...soon. She lay in the bed, clutching onto her gown, waiting for the chief to give her a spinal tap to insert her first dose of chemotherapy. She felt tears prick her eyes.
"Hi," Meredith walked awkwardly into the room, "Derek wanted me to come in here and sit with you...he was rushed off into an emergency crainiotomy and he said it could get pretty long and complicated." She slowly sat on the couch across the room.
"Hey," Addison spoke softly, "Thanks for coming." The two sat in awkward silence for about five minutes, only making small talk, until Richard walked into the room.
"Morning Addie," he smiled sadly towards the redhead, "How are you feeling?"
She was shaking, but she managed to reply with the truthful answer, "Nervous."
Meredith looked at her feet, she didn't really know what to say to comfort her sick...friend.
"You know how a spinal tap works," the chief began, "So I'm not going to explain it to you. Are you ready?"
Addison nodded, afraid to speak. Richard got out the long needle, and Addison tried her hardest not to look at it.
Meredith tried not to make a grimacing face but it was hard. The needle seemed so harsh, something she wouldn't want stuck in her back.
As Richard began the procedure, Addison started sweating. Her face was scrunched, proving her pain. Meredith slowly got up, moving closer to the bed, and grabbed Addison's shaking hand.
Addison's face slowly became softer and she relaxed a tiny bit, squeezing the smaller girl's hand.
"Thank you," she whispered, closing her eyes and letting the pain take over her back.
Meredith just smiled, giving her hand a small squeeze.
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Izzy and Christina sat side-by-side in the locker room, waiting for Bailey to give them their orders.
George stood in front of the two, not knowing whether it was appropriate to speak or not.
"So Meredith is..." he started, scratching his forehead, "assisting the chief?" Christina only shrugged, watching Alex appear from the other side of the locker room.
"I came in early," he started, ignoring the looks of ridicule from the rest of the pack, "I walked by Dr. Montgomery's room and I saw Meredith in there...it looked like she was holding her hand."
"That's insane," Christina began, "So they may be on good terms, but that doesn't mean that Meredith would ever hold her hand...that's too awkward."
"Maybe a little compassion wouldn't hurt?" Izzy suggested, glaring at her friend, "Addison is going through a lot right now...the least she could use is a little support."
"Who said I wasn't supporting her?" Christina asked, putting on an angry look, "I support her, whatever, but if Meredith is going to be holding Satan's hand everyday, that means...well, I guess that means more surgeries for us, whatever."
"Since when did she become Satan again?" Izzy asked, scooting away from Christina, "Apparently you've never had a conversation with her...she is one of the nicest people ever."
"Since McDreamy," Christina responded in a mocking voice, "Started giving her the look that he usually gives Meredith. All I know is that if he goes running back to Dr. Montgomery, I am, once again, going to have to be the one that picks up all the pieces for Meredith, and last time she practically went off the deep-end."
"Maybe Meredith will react differently this time if it even does happen," George suggested, "Maybe she'll understand."
Christina sighed as the door swung open.
"Why are you people just sittin' here?!" Bailey yelled, "So I was a few minutes late, I was visiting Addison Montgomery, but that doesn't excuse you people from rounds!"
"Where's Meredith?" Alex asked, "Shouldn't she be doing rounds?"
"What Meredith is doing is none of your business Karev!" she barked, "If I wanted to know where she was, I'd ask!"
"Sorry," he mumbled, heading for the door.
The day was not starting off quite like the interns wanted.
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"Mer..." Derek grabbed her arm as she walked down the hall.
"Hey," she smiled, turning around to face Derek.
"We need to talk," he frowned, "I've been holding this off for about a week."
Meredith looked at her feet, and then back up at his eyes,
"Do you want me to save you the breath and tell you I know what you are going to say?" she asked, meeting his eyes.
"What am I going to say?" he questioned, dropping his hold of her hand.
"I know you are going to leave me for Addison," she began, "I know that you love us both in completely different ways and you feel guilty making her do this alone."
"I..." he stopped, "I guess you are right."
"How do you even know she wants you back?"
"Because," Derek explained, "I spent one-third of my life with her, and I want her to know that I loved her."
Meredith nodded, feeling her head spin. She shouldn't have been surprised, she knew it was coming.
"What does that make us?" Meredith asked, nervous.
"Fri...friends?" he asked softly, "At least for now?"
Meredith sighed, smoothing her hands through her hair.
"Friends," she said simply, "Okay. We'll have to find another dog to walk, think of more problems to talk about in the park."
"Do you understand that I'll always love you?" Derek asked, "Do you understand how much you will always still mean to me?"
"Yeah..." she smiled, "I guess I do..."
Derek turned around, walking down the hall towards his new life.
Meredith watched, no thoughts floating through her head. Addison deserved him. There was no stopping the pain that filled her stomach afterwards, causing her to fly towards the bathroom. Addison deserved him, but she wanted him.
There really was no justice in the world.
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Derek slowly walked into Addison's room, afraid of how sick she might look.
Addison lay on her side with her eyes closed, yet she looked peaceful. He smiled sadly, looking at her. He thought back five years, back when himself and Addison had been the most glamorous couple in New York, or at least in New York Presbyterian. Addison had been flawless, and he had been in love.
He glanced at her sleeping body and felt stupid. Although she had made a major mistake, how could he ever have challenged his love for her?
Slowly, her azure eyes opened, squinting at the light.
"Hey..." he ran his hand through her hair and gave her a small smile.
"Hi," she tried to smile, but her face ended up scrunched.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, scooting his chair as close as possible to the side of the bed.
"I feel miserable," she admitted, "You know...I've administered this drug to my patients in the past, but I never believed it could drain someone this much."
"I talked to Meredith," he announced, wanting to avoid the subject of her pain. He had never seen her in true physical pain. Yeah, there was the time she fell down the stairs during her internship and sprained her ankle, and yeah, there was the time she got poison oak all over her vagina, but he had never seen her look like she was dying. Addison's eyes opened a little bit further as the thoughts ran through his head.
"Did you..." she began, looking up hopefully, trying to forget how amazing Meredith Grey had been to her earlier in the day.
"I did," he grinned, "I'm sorry Addie. It shouldn't take cancer for me to realize how much I love you..."
"As long as you realized..." she sat up slowly, putting one hand on her aching back. She leaned forward in hopes of a kiss and was returned by a soft but loving kiss, "I can't help but feel guilty that we're doing this to Meredith. You know, she came in here and held my hand for a while today."
"She's a great person, Addi," he held her hand tighter, "And once again, you know that my love for Meredith is not going to die overnight, but I love you even more."
"I guess its hard to throw away a decade of your life," Addison shrugged, "The memories will never leave."
"And Mark is out of the question?" Derek asked cautiously, afraid to bring up such a fragile topic.
"Mark is out of the question, maybe the three of us could be friends again..." she looked at him hopefully, "JUST friends this time."
"Just like New York," he smiled, resting his head on her bed.
"Just like New York," she repeated.
"By the way," he began, "I expect you to fight like hell Addi. Fight like you've never fought before to beat this thing...which I know you will. It all comes in the hair."
"I'm already fighting," she smiled, "See? I have a smile on my face...that's what I call fighting."
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Well, thanks for reading thus far. Please comment. It'll be awhile for the next update since I'm leaving the country in less than 48 hours! Theres more AddMer friendship to come and I think I've already decided the ending...which might be in a long time. Thanks for everything...and if you're a senior, congrats!
