Yay, an update! ^^
So, I got a review saying that I should tone it down on the cussing. And after rereading it, I can understand that it might have contained a little too much. I'll try to tune it down, but this beginning part contains some language because I just HAD to do this! I saw this on a sign and it was just so Ashta I HAD to use it!
Ashta walked in the door to Zim's base carrying several shopping bags. She also was wearing a new outfit. It contained a pair of black shorts, black fingerless gloves, a pair of converse covered in random zippers, and a shirt that read, "BITCH ZONE- But that's 'Ms. Bitch' to you!" She was also drinking a Suck Monkey. She casually dropped the bags onto the floor with no care and pranced over to the couch to watch TV.
Zim had been standing in the doorway and was now looking at Ashta with a look that was a horrid mix or anger, disgust, and annoyance.
Ashta looked up at Zim after ignoring him for quite some time. "Can I help you?" She asked.
"Where do I begin?" Zim blew up. "One, why are you out shopping when there is a planet to conquer? Two, where did you get the money to go shopping in the first place? And three, are you seriously just going to leave those bags there in the middle of the floor? You're acting like a slob!"
Ashta casually sipped her Suck Monkey, taking her time before she answered Zim's questions. "One, we have plenty of time before we need to take it over. Genius plans take genius time and planning. Two, I borrowed some money from Gaz. We went shopping together. And three….yeah. Your point?"
Zim's eye twitched. "Zim's point is if I'm going to have to share my base with you the least you can do is try to keep it clean! And you were out socializing with a human? That's against nearly every war-code in the book!"
Ashta narrowed her aqua-colored eyes. "For your information, Gaz hates this planet just as much as you or me. I actually think we may be able to recruit her as a partner in our conquest. You're welcome." Ashta turned her attention back to the TV and took another sip of her drink. "By the way, is my room done yet?"
Zim growled. "Yes. It's ready for you to move into." He then mumbled "Ungrateful little-" but then he was cut off by Ashta.
"Good. Otherwise I'd cut you head off with Mr. Cuts."
"Mr. Cuts?"
"Yep. He's my knife. And he's pretty sharp." She then reached down towards her shoe and pulled out a sharp-looking curved knife with a purple jewel built into the blade. "See? And if I push his buttons," She pressed the jewel, and the blade began to glow with purple energy. "He gets angry." She then pressed the jewel again and the glow died down. Then the knife was placed back into her shoe. "Cool, huh?"
Zim could feel the sweat beads begin to form on his brow. "Where did you even get a knife such as that?" He asked.
Ashta shrugged. "I picked it off some dead guy."
Zim shook his head to clear it. "WHAT?"
"Never mind." Ashta mumbled, realizing she might have said too much. "Computer!" She ordered.
"Yes Ashta?" The house responded.
"Please put my bags in my new room."
"Yes ma'am." It answered, using a giant vacuum to suck up all the shopping bags.
Zim's mouth was wide open as he stared. The he snapped out of it. "HEY! My computer only obeys me! COMPUTER! OBEY ME! OBEY ZIM! Put Ashta's bags back NOW!"
"Voice not recognized. Command disregarded." The computer spoke in an automated voice as it continued to suck up Ashta's bags.
"Eh? Not recognized? I am your master! Stop this nonsense!"
"Voice not recognized. Command disregarded." The computer droned again.
Zim turned to Ashta with a look of hatred on his face. "What did you do to my computer?" He asked in an eerily calm voice.
"I made it so only obeys people with brains, namely, not you."
"How dare you touch my equipment!" Zim shouted. "Get out of my base this instant!"
Ashta stayed put. "If I recall correctly, this isn't very much your base if it only obeys me. If anything it's my base now!"
Zim was practically shaking with rage, but unfortunately he was backed into a corner. If there was one good thing he could say about Ashta it would be that she had a way with words. He sighed, knowing he was defeated. "Fine. But can you PLEASE make it so it will at least obey both of us?"
Ashta rolled her eyes. "Oh, fine. But only because I'm in a semi-good mood." Just then the doorbell rang. "I'll have to get on that later, though." She hopped down off the couch and opened the door. "Hey, Gaz."
Zim's eyes shot open. "The Gaz-Human? What is she doing here?"
"Hello to you too, Zim." Gaz said angrily.
"Didn't I make myself clear when I told you we could use her in our mission to take over the earth? She's here to plan." Ashta said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"I never agreed to your plan! There is no way Zim is going to work with a human." Zim said defiantly.
Gaz shrugged. "Fine. Rot on this planet for all I care." She turned, as if to go.
Luckily, Zim caught on. "Okay, okay! I will allow you to assist for a little while, but then you will leave me alone!"
"Whatever." Gaz said, taking out her precious video games.
Later, In Zim's Lab…
Gaz was only half paying attention. Right now not much planning was going on, either way. Most of the time was being taken up by Zim and Ashta's constant bickering.
"I'M TELLING YOU, IN ORDER TO CRIPPLE THIS PLANET WE NEED RADIOACTIVE GERBILS!"
"WE ARE NOT AND NEVER WILL BE USING RADIOACTIVE GERBILS! GET THAT THROUGH YOU INCREDIBLY MORONIC HEAD! NO GERBILS!"
"NOT JUST ANY GERBILS, RADIOACTIVE GERBILS!"
"NO RODENTS WHATSOEVER!"
Gaz was glancing around at all the alien technology when she spotted something in the corner of the room. It was a spy bug. One of Dib's spy bugs. She noticed that it was focused on Zim and Ashta, and probably couldn't see her. Slowly Gaz came up with a purely evil plan.
Abruptly, and without warning she walked forward, took Zim into her arms, and planted a giant kiss on Zim's alien face. The she turned to the hidden camera, bowed, and then punched its lens into a million pieces.
Both Zim and Ashta stood there with surprised looks on their faces (though Zim's looked more mortified). No one knew what to say.
Finally Zim broke the silence.
"WHAT ON IRK WAS THAT? HOW DARE YOU, A FILTHY HUMAN TOUCH THE GLORIOUS FACE OF ZIM?
Gaz reached into the wall and pulled out the shattered spy bug. "I decided to give out audience a little show. Trust me, it wasn't personal. I think I'd rather eat a sandwich made if my own eyeballs than kiss you. But I couldn't resist and opportunity to scare Dib into cardiac arrest."
Silence followed once again, only to be interrupted by something completely unexpected. Ashta giggled. The giggling soon turned into a full out laugh, eventually crippling Ashta to the point of rolling on the ground and clutching her sides.
"Yes, well I'm glad someone thinks this is funny." Zim muttered bitterly.
Ashta quickly recovered enough to say something. "I have an idea!"
"Eh?" Zim asked.
"While I think that your previous performance may have put Dib in the emergency room, more can be done."
"Meaning?" Gaz asked, now interested.
"Pretend to be dating Zim, and Dib may just pop an important blood vessel in his mammoth head."
"WHAT?" Both Zim and Gaz shouted angrily.
"Never! While many things are wrong with this, Zim will point out the two most obvious: she's a human, and she's mean!"
"Not to mention that Zim is a pompous ass." Gaz added.
"HEY!"
Ashta rolled her eyes. "I'm not asking you two to actually go out! Pretend. It would be amusing to see Dib's reaction."
"NEVER! I refuse! I will not stoop so low, even if it is to annoy the Dib-human!"
Ashta's eyes narrowed. She hated it when people didn't accept her plans. "Either you and Gaz pretend to go out or this base will never listen to you again!" She then reached out and the impossible. She took Gaz's GameSlave. "And you won't get to play this, either!"
Gaz stared at her new friend, flames raging in her eyes. She could try to get her game back, but it was a good chance Ashta would be able to over-power her. It wasn't like Ashta was an amateur like Zim. "Fine, I give in. Just give me my game or I'll throw you into a pit of doom and man-eating squirrels."
Ashta smiled a little triumphantly, but then turned to Zim. "I dunno. It's up to dumb-ass here."
Gaz growled. "Zim, agree to whatever she says, or I'll make you wish you never came to this planet. Got it? I'll haunt you until the day you die, you alien nuisance!"
Zim shuddered. He wouldn't admit it, but one of the only people in the world that scared him was Gaz. "Fine. But let it be known that Zim did not agree willingly."
Ashta's smile widened as she gave Gaz's game back. "No one's asking if you did."
Later, at Dib and Gaz's house…
Gaz walked up the porch to her house. Before she could even touch the doorknob, though, the door swung open suddenly.
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Dib shouted, confronting his sister.
"Glad to see you, too." Gaz muttered, casually entering the house and taking off her coat.
"How could you…why would you…HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?" He demanded of his sister.
Gaz smirked deviously. "What, destroying you spy-bug or the kiss?
"BOTH!" Dib shouted, enraged at Gaz. "But more importantly the kiss! He's an alien, Gaz! Need I remind you he's trying to destroy us all?"
"Oh, I guess you didn't hear. Well, newsflash, he and I are dating. And yeah, I know. I think a good blowing-up is exactly what this planet needs. Now if you excuse me, I'll be in my room."
Gaz walked past her brother and up the staircase. Dib was in hot pursuit, trying to stop her. "Is he using mind control? Is he threatening you? Gaz, come on, no sane person would-"
"Good night." Gaz shut the door in his face and promptly locked it. For about tem minutes Dib stood outside of it, pounding on the door and demanding answers. After so long, he decided to give up and try again tomorrow morning.
Gaz waited five more minutes before picking up her cell phone and dialing Ashta's number. "Hey, Ashta? It worked. You should have seen his face; it was purpler than a ripe plum!"
"That's hilarious; you should've taken a picture!" Ashta spoke on the other end. "Just wait, though. What I have planned will have him in an early grave by next week! 'Till then, talk to ya later!"
Later that night, at Zim and Ashta's base…
Ashta once again stood in front of the massive communicator screen, waiting for the fuzz to thin out and for the Tallests to pick up. After about two minutes they did.
"Assassin Ashta, what do you have to report?" Asked Red, sounding official compared to his partner, who was currently having trouble eating a chocolate cornet.
"Hey, Red, how do you even eat this thing? If you try eating it on this end all the chocolate cream comes out! And you can't fit the other end in your mouth! And which end is the head, anyways-?"*
"SHUT UP AND EAT THE STUPID PASTRY, PUR!" Red shouted, aggravated at the antics of his fellow leader. He sighed, then turned back to Ashta, to hear her status update.
"Sir, not much progress has been made since I contacted you a few days ago, but I did enlist the help of a local. She's very powerful, and will most likely prove useful in taking over this planet." Ashta hesitantly paused, then said, "Any news on Izie?"
"No, Ashta. We have not made any progress on finding the whereabouts of Trainee Izie. If we did we would alert you right away. You do not need to ask us each time you make a status report." Red answered, his face hard and unreadable, like stone.
Ashta sighed. "Yes, my Tallests. Well, that is all I had to address. Until next time, Assassin Ashta, signing off." Ashta pushed a button and ended the transmission. She sighed once more and leaned against the control panel. She was beginning to think they weren't even looking for any leads on Izie.
Ashta hoped that wasn't true, and that they really were searching. She really wanted to know where her sister was.
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN! Izie is Ashta's sister! That's why she s searching for her! Betchya didn't see THAT coming! (Unless you follow me or Meghan and deviantART…) Either way, I don't know about you, but after last chapter I'm not sure that Izie is really just a "Trainee."
And I've got the ball rolling on a little ZaGr! (Even if at the moment it's fake and only a way to annoy Dib to no end.) What does Ashta have planned? O.O To hell if I know. -.- WAIT, I'm the author! I mean, OF CORSE I KNOW WHAT ASHTA'S UP TO! ^^
Whew! This is probably one of the fastest updates I've done so far! ^^ I hope you enjoyed it! See ya next chappy! ;D
*This is a reference to the hilarious anime "Lucky Star." In the first episode they were having a similar conversation on how to properly eat a chocolate cornet, and which end is the head. I love that show, it has no plot whatsoever! xD
