Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: Thanks everyone for the reviews so far, it's been great hearing you like little messed up Holly. I know she's not a 'proper' vampire but I figured where's the fun in making her normal when she can be full of suprises instead.
Anyway on with the next chapter...
I stood wearing the black velvet strapless prom dress Alice had bought for me. My lips were painted a deep red to set off my ivory skin. In my mind I was a classic femme fatale.
Screw Edward
I slipped my feet into the matching black velvet platform heels.
"Come on Holly! They'll be here soon, Ashleigh sent a note through" Rosalie had been a real driving force in planning this. Alice was the ideas but Rosalie added the heart to it. She seemed to want me to have this more than anyone. To have a life beyond death.
It was hilarious watching the boys scurry round with sparkles and drapes whilst Rosalie hissed instructions. Emmett seemed genuinely terrified of what she would do to him when he dropped one of the vases that held the pink lilies.
Alice hadn't stuck with her all black idea, thank God. Instead the living room was lit with a few soft white lights whilst white voil drapes and fairy lights hung around the portal. It looked like something out of a dream sequence. Then again for most of my friends this would be exactly like their dream, of course minus me, the dead girl, coming back to surprise them.
No matter how prepared everyone was it didn't stop me from panicking.
"oh god! What if something happens? What if they run away screaming? What if..." I was nearly hyperventilating with nerves.
"stop it!" Rosalie gave me a small slap on the cheek, stunning my hyperventilating to a stop. It hurt just enough on my skin but on a pure human it probably would have taken their head clean off.
"We've all thought this through. Carlisle wouldn't do something he hadn't thought about completely. It will be fine. They'll love you, just like we do." She smiled softly at me and I nodded, taking her hand and walking slowly down the wooden stairs. Listening to them echo with every step. I wasn't walking to my death, more like to my life but it still felt scary.
We reached our destination, the living room sofas. I was supposed to wait in the Piano room till the first shock is over but I needed somewhere to sit whilst my legs stopepd shaking. I wanted to see my girls more than anything but that didn't stop the crippling fear of rejection from locking up my limbs and making my blood seem to run cold. If I could sweat I'm pretty sure nice cold beads of salty water would be oozing out of my skin right now. I sat fidgeting whilst the Cullens organised themselves.
"Edward go wait with Holly, she's a little nervous. Probably best she isn't left in there by herself. Might bolt on us" Jasper winked at me and sent me a wave of calm, not that it lasted very long against the nerves that controlled me. Edward nodded tightly. He most likely wasn't too keen being left in a room alone with me.
Probably thinks you'll jump him
"Come on! come on! You can't just be standing around like a gorm when they come through" Alice was pushing me towards the Piano room as Edward followed slowly behind. She was tiny but could give one hell of a shove.
I wasn't the only one dressed up. Alice, Esme and Rosalie also had black dresses on. Rosalies was velvett like mine however hers was long, strapless and cut to trace her body with a thigh high slit up the side. She looked beyond words and if my friends weren't 100% straight I was pretty sure she could turn them.
Alice was in a short swingy satin dress that accentuated her pixie frame and danced with her every excitable movement. The square cut neckline showed off her delicate bone structure perfectly.
Esme's was also black satin but hers was off the shoulder and fitted into a pencil making her appear sexy but sophisticated. The perfect combination for a woman who personified the word mother.
The men were all in simple black trousers and button downs. Edward's being white, Jasper's was a black silk, Carlisle's was a subtle pale slate grey and Emmett's a vibrant red. I should have known he would be wearing the brightest shirt possible to stand out amongst the more neutral tones of the rest of us.
My friends were going to faint with just one glimpse of them.
I was bias but Edward was breathtaking. His hair seemed so vibrant set against his black pants and crisp white shirt.
The door shut behind Alice and I glanced at Edward giving him a small smile.
It was awkward.
And silent.
2 things I hated.
"I'm sorry about this" I murmured. Would I ever get used to this awkward silence between me and him? A few seconds passed in what seemed like an eternity.
Screams came from the living room, so The Cullen's had now met my friends. I heard Carlisle explaining everything trying to calm them, there was some slight fainting panic my guess was on Shevron she was such an excitable person it often sent her a little loopy. I focussed back on Edward as he sighed and responded to my comment, finally. Though I forgave him, he was probably focussing on the commotion in the other room. It was hard not to with all the loud voices.
"Don't be, I'm quite curious to see your friends again. Especially Rianna. She seemed fun" He smirked at the memory.
An image of Rianna seductively stalking in a black slinky dress filled my mind bringing with it a definite feeling of curiosity. Why was he sending this image into my mind? Was it really necessary to taunt me? Especially tonight!
Of course I should have known he'd be interested in Rianna. She was still human, still held that interest for him.
Jealous flared within me erasing all nerves in my system. Edward's eyes flashed with something as he continued to smirk at me.
How dare he, he found this amusing?!
I heard my name being called and ripped open the door, storming into the room. Sending one final dirty look toward Edward as he casually sauntered out the room behind me, a smile on his face. I watched his eyes flick to Rianna and back to me as his eyebrow raised. I repressed the growl in my chest.
Only a split second had passed since I had appeared in the living room. I was supposed to have monitored my movements to keep them at a human pace but my anger wiped any thought of being slow.
I heard the communal gasp and turned to face my past, my expression softened from the glare instantly.
"what the FUCK!" Jemma was gaping at me along with pretty much the rest of them. Only mum, dad and Ash stood with normal expressions on their faces. Although I had to say Ashleigh looked a little smug, she had claimed responsibility for telling Carlisle to change me. She was very happy with herself nowadays mainly because she saw herself as my saviour.
"language Jemma" I laughed and winked at them. That was all that was needed to shatter the shocked expressions. Next thing I knew I was surrounded by my girls sobbing their eyes out.
"Hey hey, there's nothing to cry about. Plus I'd hate you to get panda eyes. I know Alice has a strong aversion to them" I heard the sniffles start to ease. Shevron was the first to pull away. Her watery eyes widened a little as she finally took me in properly.
"woah girl you got hot!" The rest of them stepped back to see what Shevron saw. I chuckled as they took in my now better looks. Even Rianna showed a sign of approval.
"not that you weren't before but you know..." Shevron stumbled over her words.
"Ha yeah it's amazing what a near death experience can do to you" I smiled and they laughed at my pathetic joke. "I wouldn't recommend it as beauty treatment though."
"way to keep a secret Holls, a little warning would have been good I nearly fainted when I saw Jasper!" Beth admitted openly and I heard Jasper chuckle. So I had got it wrong, it wasn't Shevron.
"It's true, she went all fuzzy for a second" He said and gave a dazzling smile in Beth's direction, her face went all goofy looking.
"See there she goes again" We all laughed as Beth tried to recover herself. Jasper was always her favourite. According to Beth there was something about a man who knows how to fight but still able to understand how you're feeling. I could see where she came from but Jasper would always be nothing more than a close friend to me.
"Really though, I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you but it was too complicated to explain without looking like a mad person. Then this happened." I flapped my hands around nervously, I was waiting for the screams of horror or the disgusted face that I had told such lies.
"I still can't believe you're here. When we found out what happened.."Sara's voice cut off as fresh tears welled up in her eyes. I gave her a hug and wiped away the tear that fell down her cheek.
"I'm fine. You shouldn't be crying. You know what I'm like with crying people. They make me nervous. I make stupid lame jokes and then it's just awkward and then that makes it even worse and..."
"Holly you're babbling, like usual" Shevron grinned whilst Sara sniffled but pulled herself together.
"I'll never forgive myself for not telling anyone about what Jack did to you that night in town. If I'd said something he couldn't have caused this!" Rianna blurted out as she twisted her hands, she was nervous because she thought I'd blame her. I, however, was now worrying about the 7 angry vampires around me, who were boring holes in my skull. Even Carlisle looked a little livid. It was shocking to see, possibly een more so that the anger on Esme's, usually loving, face.
"What?" Edward hissed from behind me. Alice had been meaning to ask how I got into the state I had, but I had been avoiding the real details.
"Ermmmm..." I stalled, I hadn't wanted them to find out. Ever. I heard Emmett's growl rumble in his chest and flicked my eyes to see him tense his muscles. You could see them clearly as they literally rolled under his shirt.
"JACK!DID THIS!?" Edward was furious, Rosalie wasn't far behind. And poor Jasper was hanging onto Alice for dear life to stop himself from tearing the house apart.
"He's been stalking Holly for months. Threats and stuff." I tried to stop her but Shevron blurted out everything and that was only what she knew. I hadn't told most of them the bad stuff. The fact he kept me locked in my house out of fear, the way he grabbed me and fractured my wrist.
"Holly, why didn't you tell us?" Rosalie may have been mad but her voice was confused and upset that I hadn't said anything.
"I was fine, I could handle it. It wasn't your problem to deal with." It was true, even if it was stupid.
"Honey, that boy scared you and you never mentioned anything to anyone? Not even when he broke your wrist?" Mum had tipped the scale against me. I was hoping the whole Jack thing would blow over and we'd get back to celebrating the fact I was alive. Now it seemed that was highly unlikely.
Edward snarled menacingly and bolted for the portal.
"NOOO!" I dodged in front of him. He was faster than me but I was closer to the portal. I stood my arms spread stopping him from passing through.
He'd kill Jack and I wouldn't have him have another person's life on his conscience even if they deserved it. Jack was being punished by the law and I wouldn't let Edward risk everything just because he was mad someone touched his toy.
After all it's not like he's doing it because he really cares for me. He doesn't like the idea of someone hurting an innocent person. He just wants to flex his inner vigilante. But I'm not some innocent weak victim, not anymore. If I truly wanted Jack to die I could do it myself. However I didn't want him dead, I wanted him to spend the rest of his life with the guilt my death had over him. To know that he ruined his whole life all because a girl rejected his affections. That was far more torture than death itself.
"I don't want you to do this. I won't let you!" His family were behind him now. Emmett held his arm but I could see it was only half hearted. They wanted revenge.
"He deserves it Holly. You know that. Look at what he did to you!" His words stung, that he said my change was something horrific and monstrous.
"I'm happy like this! Whether you like it or not. So stop trying to be the vigilante and step the hell back!" My face was inches away from his as we stood glaring at each other fists clenched. I hissed to prove my point, I knew the violet in my eyes would be more vivid because I could almost feel the heat of my anger making my eyes glow.
Edward growled in frustration and ran through the front door. I watched the door slam, stunned he'd just left me. This day that was so important to me and he just left me. In that moment it didn't matter that the whole family was there. Even if he didn't love me, he was still my best friend. I felt like I needed him with me even if his behaviour recently irritated me to no end.
"Come on Holly, we've got guests and I'm sure you'd rather talk with them than follow him to ease his little temper tantrum" Alice was right and I turned back to the living room where my friends were sitting a little stunned.
"We'll leave you to catch up for a bit, come on Ash I've just got next seasons fashion prediction through." Alice dashed upstairs with Ashleigh whilst the rest of the Cullens led my parents into the dining room to talk.
"sorry bout that, as you can probably tell. I hadn't told them." I smiled sheepishly.
"wow that was so Edward-esque. Is he always that tempered?" Jemma was obviously thrilled he was sticking to character. The broody, hot-headed tortured soul that every girl wants to fix and comfort.
"Well no not quite like that. Anyway have I missed much in the week? How was my funeral?" I grinned at the last, it felt weird saying it.
"Not much has changed to be honest. Everyone was pretty shaken up by the whole Jack thing. The funeral was pretty packed, there's a lot of people that are gonna miss you Holls." Sara summed everything up nicely.
"Will was there. He looked like someone had killed his puppy. He obviously wasn't over you." Rianna's comment made me flinch. It was people like Will that although I couldn't say goodbye to them I felt like I should have. He was always so sweet to me, perhaps if he had made a move things might have been different.
Who was I kidding. If Edward had still walked into my room, although it would take a little longer with Will in the picture, I still would have fallen for him. It would have just been a matter of time because in reality you don't have much choice over who you fall in love with just when you let yourself surrender to it.
"How is life here, Holly? Living with the Cullens. Being a hybrid. You're like another messed version of Renesmee" I should have known Beth would want to know all the ins and outs of it. She was the biggest fan girl out of all of us. Me and Jemma were equal on a love of it but not fully consumed by the whole thing. Beth on the other hand was a real fanatic.
"It's great, they're amazing people. They've made the change and everything so easy. Like a smooth transition. As for being a hybrid, it's not that much different to being human. I still eat human food, still sleep all that stuff. I just look a little different, feel different, maybe act different. My skin isn't stone like theirs but like Renesemee's a mix of the 2. I'm stronger and faster and the senses are awesome. If I'm honest, I love it."
"can I ride you!!!??" Shevron bounced on the sofa her eyes sparkling. Jemma and I smirked at the dirty thought that obviously passed through both our heads.
"Shev she's not some play ground ride" Rianna smirked.
God, her and Edward would get on well.
Dammit!
I slipped off my heels.
"Come on Shev, but you dare say mush and I'll send you flying into the nearest tree." Shevron flew at me and climbed on my back.
"This is just weird you know. I'm sure you'd prefer it if it was Edward, he's faster." I readjusted her till I was sure she wouldn't slip off. I walked to the window and slid it open. To Shevron it would be getting dark outside but to me it was still perfectly clear. I could see every detail of the Cullen's large field like garden.
"you ready? I'll go once round the field and then back here." I felt Shevron nod and I was off and even into the forest beyond.
I'd never get sick of running, but I'd admit that running in the forest was far more fun than this flat even terrain. The grass was like quilted satin beneath my feet.
"holy hell! Wooooohoooooo." Shevrons squeals echoed around the field. I rocketed back to the house. We had only been gone a matter of a few seconds. The other's jumped when I suddenly appeared back at the window I'd left from.
I placed and unsteady Shevron on her feet and chuckled as she stumbled to the sofa.
I sat and curled myself up looking at my girls around me. How had I been so lucky?
* * * * *
"So did anything happen with you and Edward? Now your immortal buddies surely you need some way to fill all that time" Rianna winked at what she had insinuated.
I blushed and I was doomed.
Catcalls surrounded me, Rosalie and Alice included. Esme had went along with Jasper, Emmet and Carlisle into my old world. Dad had offered to play poker with the men whilst Mum just wanted someone to talk to who wasn't trying to console her. Edward still wasn't home and it had been 2 hours. Now it was just us girls sitting in the living room spilling all.
"I never knew something happened with Edward? When did this happen?" Rosalie was curious but Alice, although silent was bursting to know the details.
"you can all relax, because nothing has happened" I looked at the floor, it was embarrassing to admit that although I loved him I hadn't had the guts to do anything about it. That even in this new 'hotter' body he didn't want me.
"New Years tells a different story" Rianna raised her eyebrow, challenging me to say otherwise.
"what happened at New years?" Alice's voice was almost a squeal.
"they kissed!" Shevron burst out and I nearly died right there. If I could.
"What?!" This time Ashleigh joined Rose and Alice.
I had some serious back paddling to do.
"look we didn't kiss, it was an almost moment and he only did it to stop Jack from attacking me at midnight."
"That doesn't explain why he had you sat on his lap for the majority of the night" Beth chipped in.
"or why you 2 were all curled up on the sofa together, you sleeping in his arms" Sara added her bit of gossip and the girls sighed at the cute imagery.
"Plus you should have seen him when he arrived. He couldn't get enough, all soft touches and helping her put her necklace on" Ashleigh winked at me as she dug my grave even deeper.
"all this going on under our very eyes." Alice faked astonishment. As if she didn't know.
"look nothing happened and then Valentines dance happened and you know the consequences of that." I looked at Rosalie and Alice. I could feel the sadness in my eyes and their happy expressions straightened out.
" I don't understand what happened?" Sara looked concerned, she had obviously felt the changed in atmosphere. The playful banter gone and replaced with dark times. My friends looked at me with concern.
"I was an idiot and broke my own heart" Rose winced whilst my friends offered me hugs and saying what idiot wouldn't want me.
"you do realise things are different now." Alice looked deep into my eyes, willing me to understand, to still have hope.
"not by much, all that's changed is that now I'm immortal and I'm pretty sure he knows I love him but has chosen to ignore it and just hope I won't get to close to him. I mean what has happened to Bella? Has he even talked to her? Surely she's been trying to contact him."
"The gawping idiot hasn't even got his phone number, she's probably just sitting at school waiting for him to come back in like some lost puppy," Rosalie sneered.
None of the Cullens had been in school the week that I was changing. The excuse was that they were on holiday visiting family friends whilst Carlisle stayed to work. Apparently this would be continued next week so that I could settle in. They had been planning to have a newborn to contend with but since I wasn't quite the handful they expected the younger Cullens would return back to school along with me. Of course there would be questions and rumours about my presence and appearance but it was decided that I had liked Forks so much my parents had offered to let me transfer for my senior year and therefore I was finishing the junior year to make sure I was up to scratch. I returned to the conversation from my pondering.
"well you can't blame her. Who wouldn't love him, the boy's pure eye candy" Rianna smiled and I couldn't help but laugh. Rianna could forgive most things if a person was easy on the eyes. Then a smelt that intoxicating scent of sun and spice.
"I'm glad you think so Rianna, It's always a pleasure seeing you" Edward's velvet voice purred from behind us near the window. I spun round. His eyes flitted to mine and then he winked at Rianna. My blood boiled.
"how long have you been standing there? Don't you know it's rude to eavesdrop and just pure dangerous when it's a girls conversation." Rosalie sneered at Edward but he merely slid into the seat next to Rianna. Sending her a dazzling smile. Only Rianna didn't form a puddle of goo she held her own and matched Edward's smile with a sexy smirk of her own. Her eyes dancing over him. They were perfect opponents in the game of seduction. I envied Rianna in that moment, more than I ever had.
Jealous boiled in me again as Edwards arm lay on the top of the sofa behind Rianna. I saw Beth nudge Rianna and she glanced at me, shrinking away from Edward.
He knew exactly what he was doing, I just didn't know why. His eyes met mine for a second but I couldn't figure out the emotion, it was like begging. It cleared quickly into the blank mask he often wore around me recently.
"I'm sorry for earlier. I wasn't myself." I knew he was truly sorry it burned in his eyes but I still couldn't understand anything about him. None of his behaviour these past few days had made sense, at least when we were apart I could understand his avoidance of me, but I thought my letter would have fixed everything. I thought I had finally figured out Edward Cullen. Finally understood his feelings for me but now it was all snarled up into a mess of emotion. He was an enigma and I wondered how much longer I would try to decode him.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it." And to tell the truth I was sorry.
He'd given me no reason not to tell him when we were close. Afterwards I didn't tell him because I was trying to stay away from him and having him try to help me out would have been too painful. Since my change the sole reason I didn't tell him was because Jack was the reason I was what I was. I knew Edward would lose it, he had proven me right earlier in the night.
He nodded. Accepting my apology and left the room heading upstairs. The girls eyes followed him up the stairs with expressions of something close to puppy love. I cringed, was that what I looked like whenever he was around me? I hoped not. I liked to think I could still be Holly even if the love of my existence entered the room rather than transfrom into some gooey mess of girl.
It was 11 pm and about time my friends went home.
They seemed to realise this and we said begrudging goodbyes at the portal, I knew I'd see them again but not for a while. Their time would be taken up with university. Then again I'll be busy adjusting to life as a full time Cullen, high school included.
I was glad to have one more week to get to grips with my situation. I didn't enjoy being the centre of attention and so that meant I wouldn't enjoy the first day at my new permanent school. The difference in me was bound to make me subject to stares, add in the Cullens and it's a perfect gossip cocktail.
Now that I sat in the living room, Rose and Alice sitting by my side in silence. I felt it all come tumbling down on me. My old life was over. Really over. Although I hadn't lost much, if anything, there was still a part of me that mourned the fact that things had changed. That they weren't and never would be the same.
Simple things like being able to wander around my hometown or visit my cove, now became an issue to plan out before it could be executed. I had gained so much power but had to sacrifice some of my freedom to get it.
Even things that I had never thought about popped into my head for a brief second. Children, aging, a peaceful death. I would never experience any of those. It was true that they weren't particularly high on my priorities but the idea that they were an impossibility made them seem like something to miss.
I sighed.
Who would have thought so much could changed in 7 short months.
Author's note: what do you think so far? You like it?
xxx
