Tato Potato, I hope it is the good part! There are a couple of sections with other characters first, but you can probably skip those if you just want to read about Cal and Matilda. Thank you for your review!
X-Sammii-X, thank you for your review. I hope the new chapter doesn't disappoint! Cal will talk to Matilda towards the end of this chapter.
ETWentHome, don't worry about not reviewing - I've been updating every day so far and it is easy to miss something. I'm really glad you're enjoying the story. Thank you for your review.
beckyboogle, your wish is my command - I'm updating right now! I hope you enjoy reading about what happens next.
Louise stopped outside Ariana's room and turned to address Dylan. There was just something about Dylan that screamed: I'm in charge.
Then she remembered Lottie and felt guilty. Lottie might not have Dylan's confidence and charisma, but Louise really liked her.
It surprised her. Louise usually only thought about whether she liked someone or not when they were annoying her.
"Would you like me to go and look for Matilda?" Louise asked, her eyes moving between Dylan and Lottie.
"Oh, yes please, if it's not too much trouble," said Lottie.
Louise was usually a bit suspicious when someone was that polite to her, but Lottie just made her smile. "Of course it's no trouble, Lottie."
"But weren't you supposed to be having your break with your husband?" said Dylan.
Louise swung round to stare at her. "How did you know that?"
"Because you mouthed 'five minutes' at the guy on reception," said Dylan. Clearly, she was one of those irritating people who didn't miss anything. "You smiled as you did it, so you obviously like him. You're wearing a wedding ring and I don't think you'd flirt so openly with someone you weren't married to."
"Well, if you're that clever," said Louise, "you'll also know I'm very conscientious about doing my job and I'd never go off and enjoy my break when there's an upset girl running around. Now, I suggest you stop worrying about my private business and start worrying about your friend in hospital."
There was a brief flash of amusement in Dylan's eyes. "You're absolutely right, Nurse Garcia," she said. She was very polite, but Louise felt as though she, and not Dylan, had been wrong-footed somehow.
"Thank you, Louise," said Lottie.
"You're welcome, Lottie," said Louise. She opened the door. "Ariana, here are Dylan and Lottie to see you."
Once she'd satisfied herself that the three girls were okay, she went to find Noel.
She was confused.
Why did she feel such a bond with Lottie when she'd never met her and they didn't obviously have anything in common?
And how had she failed so completely to put Dylan in her place?
Iain looked up in surprise as his wife burst into the ambulance station. "Rita? You okay, love?" When Iain put his arms around her, he discovered she was trembling.
Dixie stood up. "I just need to check on something in the ambo."
"Oh, no, Dixie, please." Rita made an effort to recover herself. "You don't have to go."
Dixie smiled reassuringly. "I do. If I didn't remember to replace the dressings we used on our last patient, we'll be in trouble!"
Iain waited until the door had closed behind her. "Come here, love. Tell me what's up."
Rita sank into a chair and put her hands over her face. "Iain, Ariana's in the hospital. Alfie's girlfriend."
Iain sat beside her. He'd been hoping Rita wouldn't find out about that. "Yeah," he said after a moment. "Yeah, we brought her in. She cut herself on a broken bottle."
"On purpose?" said Rita.
Iain hesitated. "Rita, you know we mustn't jump to any conclusions."
"Of course we must!" burst out Rita. She clutched at Iain's hands. "Iain, the girl has BPD. She has a history of trying to kill herself. That's why…" She stopped and bit her lip.
"What is it, Rita?" Iain tried to speak calmly for her sake, but he was worried.
Rita's voice was barely audible. "Alfie said he was having trouble coping with Ariana's moods. I said if he wasn't happy, he should break up with her." She turned an anguished face to Iain. "So he must have done it and then she did this!"
Cal hurried to the girl's side and sat down. She was sobbing into her hands and didn't seem to have noticed him. Cal's throat ached in sympathy as he stared at her and tried not to think about all the tears he'd shed over her.
No. Not over her. Over Matilda. This girl was not Matilda.
"Hey," he said softly, and she jumped, taking her hands away from her face with a gasp. "What's wrong, darling?"
He didn't usually say 'darling' to his patients, but he reminded himself that a lot of doctors and nurses did.
"Everything!" she cried.
Cal wanted to hug her. He just wanted to take his daughter in his arms and comfort her. "I'm Dr Knight," he said. "You can call me Cal." But I'd rather you called me Dad. You don't know how many dreams I've had where you've called me Dad and you've loved me, and then I've woken up and you weren't there.
The girl sniffed. "I'm Matilda."
Cal felt as though he was falling. Falling and falling through space, yet at the same time, spinning round and round.
Matilda. This was Matilda. His baby girl.
No! Cal mentally shouted at himself. She's called Matilda and she looks about the right age, but there are a lot of Matildas in that age group. And Matilda wasn't your baby anyway.
"Can you tell me what's happened, Matilda?" he heard himself asking gently. "Are you a patient? Or a relative?"
"My friend," wept Matilda.
"Your friend's a patient?" Cal had hugged friends and relatives of patients before. But it was a bit different when the girl was fifteen and probably had no idea she was his daughter.
No, she's not your daughter and you don't know how old she is!
"She… she cut herself on some glass." Matilda sniffed. She pulled a soggy tissue out of her coat pocket and dabbed her nose.
Cal turned out his pockets, finding pens, his torch, a notebook, spare gloves and a half-eaten chocolate bar before he finally unearthed a tissue. "Here you are. It's all right, Matilda. I'm going to help you. And if I can't help, I'll find someone who can. Have you had any news about your friend?"
More tears trickled down Matilda's cheeks. "A nurse said they'd stopped the bleeding and we could go and visit her, but I couldn't do it."
Cal couldn't stop himself. He put his arm around her. "It's very hard seeing someone you care about in hospital. You mustn't think badly of yourself for that."
"But my friends went to see her," sobbed Matilda as she rested her head against Cal's shoulder.
"Everyone's different," said Cal. "We all have things we find really difficult. For you, it's seeing your friend in hospital and that's true for a lot of people. I'm sure your friends have things they find really difficult too."
Matilda sniffed. "Not Dylan. She's not scared of anything. And Lottie might be scared, but she always does the right thing."
"I used to tell myself I wasn't scared of anything, but that definitely wasn't true!" said Cal. "But it's okay to be scared and it's okay if you don't do the right thing all the time."
"And I'm not doing the right thing now either." Matilda leaned in to him even more. "Sitting out here talking about myself when she needs me!"
Cal rubbed circles on her back. "It's okay, Matilda. You have to think about your own needs too. If you can't go and see your friend, then you can't. That's just how it is. But if you wanted, we could go together and see her now. I could speak to the doctor who treated her and find out some more information and we could have a chat about that before we go in if you like. Sometimes having more information can make things seem more manageable."
Matilda looked at him with wide eyes that were so like Taylor's… yet they weren't at the same time. "Would you really do that?"
"Of course I would," said Cal. I would do anything for you, Matilda. Anything.
