Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 4

Forest of tragedy and Town of misery

Kairi: 'So many fire spells, so many ways to harm bad people'.

Sora: 'Is it me, or is she drooling on her end?'.

Riku: 'I'd be very concerned if she is…'.

Kairi: 'SHUSH! Anyways! So I heard there's this blacksmith, that can, you know, upgrade our stuff, and there's like an item to make his stuff even more beneficial to us…?'.

Riku: 'Ok cool, we can check that place out…where is it again…?'.

Kairi: 'Uhh, by the church…past the…dragon…'.

And for the next two minutes, the trio screamed "no" so loud that it was a cry that could be heard across the worlds…

Fifteen Minutes of agony later…

Kairi: 'Ok…after what, my fourth death? I found the blacksmith…and have to guys noticed something, off about the models?'.

Riku: 'Aside from that guy who wanted more than a hug?'.

Kairi: 'Well yes, but you noticed how no one has any mouth movement?'.

Sora: 'Oh I thought there using their minds to communicate'.

Riku: 'How did you come to that conclusion?'.

Kairi: 'After seeing that blacksmith? I'm beginning to see why…its like, a broken animatronics jaw hopelessly attempt to move its mouth like a regular being…'.

Sora: 'Dark Souls brings out the savage in Kairi'.

So after each of them spoke, did some upgrading, and some advice given, the trio ventured forth into the next section. The forest was just ahead of them, the issue? Oh nothing to be concerned about, aside from a rock demon without a head.

Riku: 'The heck is that supposed to be!?'.

Kairi: 'Test subject for fire magic!'.

Kairi used the "Combustion" spell, and did decent damage, but compared to the health points of the beast, it was like a minor scratch. Kairi blinked, before she started to run around in circles, dodging the monster's spear like weapon.

Kairi: 'GUYS! FIRE DOESN'T WORK WELL ON ROCK MONSTERS!'.

Riku: 'OH REALLY!?'.

Sora: 'Maybe swords will-

They heard a crushing sound, from their end.

Sora: '…Give me a minute to test it!'.

Riku groaned and began to roll and leap around the beast, taking quick swings behind the monster while it was throwing its weapon around. But then unfortunately, its tail counted as a weapon, and smacked Riku. He cursed and ran back, drinking his healing potion, but he forgot the practicality of a spear, its range.

And paid the price.

Riku: 'SON OF A ROCK FUCKER!'.

You Died.

Kairi: 'I will be the first to melt stone! Melt, you headless beast!'.

The Titanite Demon(the monster) then aimed its spear at her and fired lightning bolts are her. Kairi squeaked in terror, rolling and cancelling her attack to evade the shocking pain. It then leapt and landed on her, killing the red head pyromancer.

Kairi: '…it sat on me'.

You Died.

After that ordeal of misery, the trio stood at the bonfires in their respective worlds, each lamenting.

Kairi: 'How are we supposed to beat that!?'.

Sora: 'Hey, was there a fog wall?'.

Kairi: 'No…?'.

Sora: 'Then, couldn't we just, run past it?'.

Riku and Kairi went silent…

So the brave heroes, BRAVELY ran away from the monster, and entered their next dungeon.

The Darkroot Garden

They found themselves in a bleak and dark forest, nary a sound bar their footsteps and clinks of armour and gear. Fortunately, Kairi could summon Riku and Sora to her world once more, much to her relief and joy. But unfortunately, in doing so, the fog wall blocked the entrance for them and the demon. So much for bum rushing the monster again…

Sora: '…we're not in Corona'.

Riku: 'Whatever gave that away?'.

Sora: 'I feel freedom, joy and happiness there'.

Kairi: 'And what do you feel here?'.

Sora: 'Despair'.

After that joyful statement from the ever cheery Sora, they progressed through the forest, climbing up a hill and then descend a hill, and encountered another black knight, wielding a halberd and shield…and charged at the trio.

Sora: 'How many of these guys are there!?'.

Riku: 'Look out!'.

They all dodged…but sadly for Sora he accidentally rolled off a cliff.

Sora: 'GOD DANG IT!'.

You Died.

So with one down, Kairi did the sensible thing and chucked fire balls at the knight while Riku kept it focused on him. Riku swung his sword and dodged, keeping at a fair distance from the knight. One last fire ball to its face, Kari killed the knight, got the souls and gained its halberd in response.

She squealed with joy, while Sora lamented his loss and Riku chugged down his healing potions.

Kairi: 'OOOOHHHHH, this halberd is so cool! If only I invested in strength…'.

Riku: 'Wimp! That's what you get for spending all your souls into intelligence and faith!'.

Kairi: 'Oh yeah! Give me a bonfire!'.

So after, Kairi and Riku returned to where they originally summoned Sora, respawned him, and resumed their journey. Through the narrow passage, they were attacked by tree like monsters, but they were no match for Kairi's pyromancy, and she reviled in the power she wielded.

Kairi: 'I am the goddess of fire, trees bow to me in terror!'.

Kairi threw another fireball at one, but another managed to sneak up and attack her, knocking her off the ledge and into death.

Kairi: '… *deep inhale* I deserved that'.

One back track later…

Riku: 'Ok, lets keep our egos in check, make sure we're aware of our surroundings, and for god sake can we let up on the dying!?'.

Kairi: 'Oh shush! You've died more than me and Sora! I'm a novice at these games, what's your excuse!?'.

Sora: 'Cockiness?'.

Kairi: 'Thank you Sora'.

Riku: 'Whipped'.

After the savagery of friendship, the trio, as carefully as possible, slay the tree enemies, found a bonfire, and ventured deeper into the dark and bleak forest. They spot an item, but through keen observation on Kairi's part, she sees the bush shaped monsters laying in wait for them. So, she, you guessed it, threw MORE fire balls at them.

And sure enough, they popped out of the ground, meeting their fates to the heroes' swords. So one item given to them, and more souls, who could ask for more? With that done, proceeded deeper into the forest, eyes open for any more surprises and baddies, until they found another item awaiting them all. There were no bush monsters near them, along with there being fallen statues just laying there, they chucked it up to the lore.

If only it were so.

Instead, the moment Kairi picked up the item, which turned out to be a new armour set, the statues got up. And two in total, with massive swords and shields equal in height to a building, and probably equal in weight. They attacked the party, hitting Kairi first, then one bashed Sora with its shield.

Riku ran at it but was suddenly ambushed by the bush people again, swarming him and spam hitting him, which resulted in death. Kairi and Sora were not far behind him.

Riku: '…FUCKING BUSHES!'.

You Died.

Kairi: '…I am going to burn this place down…frick them all!'.

Sora: 'W-Wait…I LOST MY SOULS!'.

Riku: 'Oh crap, we forgot to go back where he died…'.

Sora: 'TEN THOUSAND SOULS!'.

In Memory of Sora's Souls

With that tragedy finished, they returned back to the where they were all murdered, this time with absolute vengeance in their hearts and eyes. Kairi incinerated every bush monster without any remorse, Riku cleaved his way through one giant, while Sora destroyed the other. No one was harmed, their potions at the ready, and their souls reclaimed, while Sora lamented his loss once again. Regardless, they each claimed the armour set with only the boys being able to wear it without much issues even with Havel's Ring.

Thus, they found a ruined tower, climbed it and came across another fog wall. Immediately they tensed up, entered and aimed their weapons at nothing but the air. That was until the Moonlight Butterfly arrived, gracefully flying into the air.

Kairi: 'Aww, that's so pretty'.

Sora: 'Butterfly~'.

Riku: '…seriously? This is a boss? What's it gonna do? Fly away from us?'.

He got his answer, the butterfly fired four beams of light at them, making them all scream and dodged the surprise attack.

Riku: 'Or fire magic at us! That's fine!'.

Kairi: 'Evil butterfly must die!'.

While Kairi held the advantage of possessing fire balls and arrows, the boys have no way to attacking it which forced them to be restricted to dodging and running from the beams of pain. Kairi threw fire ball after fire ball at the flying creature, hit and missing the monster but she was doing a lot more than her boys.

The butterfly then fired a full concentrated beam at them, making them all run, with Sora to the right and Kairi and Riku running down the left of the wall.

Sora: 'This is the coolest butterfly ever!'.

Riku: 'Less praise more killing!'.

The butterfly made the poor choice of landing upon the wall's edge to recuperate, which left it wide open for the team. Riku and Sora practically leapt on the monster and hacked it away, stabbing and slashing it relentlessly while Kairi just threw more fire at the monster.

Finally, the beast fell to their combined brutality and perished, leaving its boss soul and plenty of souls for the team.

Kairi: 'Victory~'.

Sora: 'RIP awesome butterfly!'.

Next, they collected the Divine Ember for the blacksmith and returned to the smith, bravely running past their nemesis and handing it to him. Some levelling up, re-adjustments to their gear (and Kairi smugly holding her new black knight halberd), they agreed it was time for the supposed worst place in the entire game, Blighttown.

They navigated through the Depths, found the gate, and joined Kairi's world.

Sora: 'So…what's the reason this place was hated?'.

Kairi: 'Something about the original's frame rate being absolute garbage? I dunno, but personally this place is so frigging dark!'.

Riku: 'Do we have a torch on hand?'.

Kairi: 'You'd think using pyromancy as a torch would be a spell…'.

They walked on the rickety wooden ramparts, immediately they were attacked by large fat ogre like monsters with clubs. Luckily Riku managed to parry its attack and with one riposte, he killed it. It dropped an item for them…and it was a dung pie.

Riku: '…d-did, did they just drop shit? And I can pick it up?'.

Kairi: 'THAT'S DISGUSTING!'.

Sora: 'Why? Why is THAT an item!?'.

Ignoring the…item, the trio ventured onwards, but it wasn't long before Kairi was hit by an invisible dart laced with toxin. Her health was steadily declining, fast. Panicking, she consumed the purple moss but it did nothing to prevent her slow death.

Kairi: 'WHY ISN'T IT STOPPING!? WHY AM I STILL POI- Toxin? TOXIN!?'.

Sora: 'Oh then use this'.

Sora dropped Kairi a "Blooming Purple Moss Clump", which she scooped up quickly and downed it, stopping her toxin. She glared at the sneaky assassin that tried to murder her via medieval methods and rewarded it with a massive ball of fire.

Riku: 'Great, literally crappy item drops, and now poisonous attacks? What fun to be had!'.

With even more caution, if it were possible, they proceeded deeper into the area, still taking their time to navigate the horrible place. They faced all kinds of sneaky snipers, just barely eating the moss to stop the toxin while fighting the green monsters. And literally picking up their crap.

They came to a very wobbly bridge that was broken with a small shack of a house was just ahead of them. So they each took a leap and managed to land on the house, though their health took some nasty hits. But for Kairi?

Kairi: 'OOOOOOHHHH! Another katana!'.

Riku: 'Are you serious!?'.

Sora: 'Weapon Finder Kairi strikes again!'.

They eventually climbed down the shack and proceeded through the area, keeping themselves in a slow pace to avoid any ambushes or worse. So far, they found a bonfire, lit it and moved on, but then were attacked by smaller dogs, except they were red, and breathe fire.

Sora: 'FIRE BREATHING UNDEAD DOGS!? Seriously game!?'.

Kairi: 'Stab it!'.

Thankfully they had little trouble with the beast, IE they learned that the fire doggies are NOT immune to katanas. They walked onwards back on the rickety bridges, this time the trio spotted on the wall a large parasitic creature hugging the wall. On the wall, where they needed to pass through to venture forth deeper into the region.

Kairi gave both boys bow and arrows, wordlessly. And they picked off the monster without second thoughts.

Sora: 'This place is horrible'.

Finally, they managed to reach the swamp area of Blighttown. They all allowed themselves breaths of relief, until…

Invasion reoccurred.

Sora: Oh crap! We're being invaded!'.

Kairi: 'Please don't be Blueprincess342! PLEASE don't be Blueprincess342!'.

The invader's name was named "Strugglingchamp4536", and before them was what looked like a knight, wielding a club.

Riku: 'Kairi, get ready to spam fireballs like a madwoman!'.

Kairi: 'FIRE SPAMS AT THE READY!'.

The invader attacked the party, Sora rushed in first, blocking his attack with the shield. Riku leapt and attacked the invader, hitting him and forcing them to roll away from the two. Sora and Riku kept attacking him while Kairi threw more fire at the invader. However, as the three fought in the swamp, Riku noticed his poison bar going up. Which meant the swamp was poisonous to them and likely their invader.

Riku: 'Sora, out of the swamp!'.

They both ran out of the swamp back onto not poisoned land and used arrows and Kairi's fire to keep their distance from the invader, and in a swift turn of hope, the invader suddenly died from the poison. The trio cheered with joy, until they realized something crucial…

They MUST cross the swamp, to find the next bell…

And they didn't have any more antidotes for the poison, and that meant, backtracking…through EVERY dungeon to get here…

Quietly, they all logged off their games. Kairi laid on her bed and slammed a pillow on her face, Riku leaned back in his seat, and Sora went to the to top of his house. And all at once, like some form perfect sync, screamed to the top of the lungs in rage.

Their journey had just gotten a LOT harder…

A/N: Who can guess who the invader was this time? So yes, I did two dungeons in one chapter. Originally I was planning to do just the forest but I felt it was insufficient for this chapter so I did two!

So I'm curious, is everyone happy with the pace or do you think I should do more with the story? Let me know if you all have concerns! As always, thanks for reading, stay awesome but most importantly stay safe!