Whew I finally finished this chapter. One more to go. I'm not crazy about how it turned out but it's how I felt at the moment and where the song took me, so there you go. This is longer than the other chapters in the series, I think because this song is kind of short my brain tried to make up for it by making the written stuff longer.
Disclaimer: The Mentalist, its characters and the song Corner of Your Heart by Ingrid Michaelson aren't mine, I'm just borrowing them.
Sleeping in the Corner of Your Heart
He's stopped watching her; she should be relieved, to not have to feel his eyes burning a trail of guilt on her skin, like a puppy whose tail you've stepped on. Instead it hurts, makes her feel like she's lost something precious, like for every little piece of his heart he's taking back he's stealing another piece of hers. But this is what she wanted, what she told him she wanted, for him to move on, so she can't complain now that she's gotten it. He starts changing, his clothes are different, his body harder more muscled, he's wearing different cologne, he's going to bars and nightclubs after work, she hears him invite Cho and occasionally Jane to go out with him. Then comes the moment she's been dreading, he gets a call, a call from a woman. She hopes her smile and her softly spoken "You've moved on? Good. So Have I," masks the hurt she feels.
There's a corner of your heart for me
There's a corner of your heart
just for me
I will pack my bags just to stay in the corner of your heart
Just to stay in the corner of your heart
She wants to cry, wants to scream. Instead she tries to act like she doesn't care, like she doesn't feel as if she's just been stabbed, like she's happy for him. His guilty look and the sadness in his eyes when she says she's moved on too make her feel better. This woman may get his body and his attention but Grace still has the best part of him, the most important part, his heart. She comforts herself with this thought in the coming weeks. Then he changes again, there are no more invitations for Cho and Jane to go out after work, no more calls from strange women, he goes back to his old cologne. She doesn't think too much of it until Jane says "She must be a sweet girl." She says what's expected of her "When do we get to meet her?" He looks at her, the guilt is still in his eyes but it's faded, less pronounced and tempered with sympathy instead of pain. She manages a small smile. Her ears buzz; she hears the rest of the conversation in snatches and as if from a distance "where are you going?" "Art museum." "You must really like her." He calls her, she's coming. She's beautiful, she sweet, she teaches, loves children. Grace wonders if she's ever held him while he talks about his father and cries. Ever shown up at his apartment after midnight wearing scraps of lace and silk, a trench coat thrown over, hiding the present underneath. Has she ever slipped a tiny pair of panties into his coat pocket at dinner to show him what he has to look forward to when he gets home? She briefly wonders if he still has those lace panties, are they stuffed in a drawer, in the farthest corner of his closet or maybe under his mattress. Grace wants to hate her but can't. She is what he deserves, what Grace wishes she could be for him.
There is room beneath your bed for me
There is room beneath your bed
just for me
I will leave this town
just to sleep underneath your bed
Just to sleep underneath your bed
The night she picks him up at work Grace goes home, she wants to cry, but instead goes to her wallet finds the scrap of paper with the phone number on it and dials. She met him at a coffee shop, she'd spilled her coffee on his shoes, she blushed and apologized, he'd laughed told her he'd forgive her if she's take his phone number. She hadn't planned on calling him.
They've been dating for two months. Adam is perfect; he's a lawyer, good looking, successful, and as devoted to his job as Grace is to hers. He respects her career choices, is proud of what she does, he never complains about the long hours, cancelled dates and trips out of town. He's everything she wanted so she wonders why she feels empty as she sleeps next to him at night. Wonders why she doesn't get the feeling of satisfaction from closing cases like she used to.
There's one minute of you day
There's one minute of your day
There's one minute of your day for me
I would leave this man just to occupy one minute of your day
Just to occupy one minute of your day
He remembers their three month anniversary, sends her roses at work. She wonders how she could have forgotten. Yet she remembers to the second the day she left him. She (It's easier if she doesn't think of her by name) came to pick him up for a date. She's bubbly, happy they're celebrating; she's been offered a job as the principle of a small Montessori School in San Diego. Jane asks so Grace doesn't have to "So are you going to try to do long distance or are you planning on going to Wayne?" She answers before he can "We haven't finalized our plans yet." Grace knows this is another moment she'll never forget, the day she lost the last little piece of his heart and he broke what was left of hers.
Just to sleep underneath you bed
Just to stay in the corner of your heart
It's after ten; she's still at her desk, she told Adam she had to work late. She knows she'd never have made it through a whole anniversary dinner pretending to be happy. The elevator door dings and he walks into the bullpen, he looks sad, tired. For the first time in months they stare into each other's eyes. "It's over," he says. "I told her I couldn't leave my job, my life here. She's a good woman she deserves someone who loves her more than I can." "Besides," he adds "I would miss you guys if I left." She stands, shocked and he turns to walk away when she doesn't respond. The spell of stillness on her breaks, she hurries after him saying his name "Wayne?" He turns immediately and standing so close to him she sees it, maybe it's been there the whole time and she's been too busy wallowing in her pain and regrets to see it. In his eyes there's hope and hidden but still there, love. There are tears in her eyes but she's smiling when she says "I would miss you too." He freezes for second and then it's there on his face, a smile and it's brighter than the sun.
