CHAPTER 4
The phone rang at the ungodly hour of 10am, and Penny groaned, reaching sleepily for the phone from under her covers. She barely caught the edge of it with her fingers, but it slipped from her grasp and clattered to the floor. Miraculously, she was able to punch the talk button and bring it to her ear. "Hello?" she croaked.
"Hello, this is Heather Stone with Avalon Artists Group. May I speak to Penny London, please?"
She nearly dropped the phone, all sleepiness disappearing in an instant. This must be Wil's agent! "Yes, yes, this is Penny," she answered, trying to clear her froggy throat. "Speaking."
"We'd like to have you in for a meeting, Ms. London. Are you available this afternoon?"
She had a lunch shift but she suddenly felt a terrible cold coming on. "Yes, absolutely." It didn't matter how mad her manager was going to be. "What is it for?"
"To talk about a small role in a pilot,possibly recurring."
Penny wrote down the address and appointment time, her hand shaking with excitement, then thanked the woman and hung up the phone.
When Wil had said he would drop her name with his agent, she hadn't dared hope anything would come out of it at all. She bounced out of bed and put on her slippers. She had to tell the guys! Without bothering to change out of her PJs, she nearly skipped across the hall into Apartment 4A. Leonard was in the kitchen making himself a cup of coffee, in his plaid robe. Sheldon sat at his laptop, fully dressed.
"Hi, Penny, you're early," Leonard greeted her. Sheldon, kept his eyes focused on the screen. He hadn't said a word to her for days.
In fact, Sheldon was hardly speaking to any of them. Ever since the Who marathon a month ago, Wil had been treating her to dinner a couple nights a week. The guys (all except Sheldon, of course) had been playing role-playing games with him, meeting some of his friends – they were basically in geek heaven.
Sheldon's schedule was a total mess. He blamed Penny completely, judging by the way his eyes bored into the back of her head like laser beams whenever Wil was around.
"I know!" she said, the excitement of her news creeping into her voice. She poured a cup of coffee into her favorite mug, a grin on her face.
"What's up?"
"Oh," she began, trying and failing to be nonchalant. "Just some amazing news."
"Something to do with," he took a sip of coffee, then whispered, "Wil?"
Sheldon twitched in his chair, but didn't respond.
"Yes," she said, turning toward Sheldon to watch him twitch again, "and no. I got a meeting with Wil's agency to talk about a possible audition!"
"Oh, really? For what?"
She bounced on her heels. "A small role on a pilot! I told Wil about the one I tried to read for, and he must have put in a good word for me!"
"Wow, that's great! But do you know anything about it?"
"No. Or not yet!" She bit her lip. "I was hoping you guys could help me figure out what I should expect." She glanced at Sheldon, whose back stiffened in affront. She turned back to Leonard. "Or maybe just you."
"Um, sure. But why don't you just ask Wil? I'm sure he knows a lot more about the ins and outs of the business, too."
Penny covered her eyes with her hand. "Of course, I should just do that. I guess it's still too early for me to be thinking straight."
Sheldon snorted, but held back from saying anything.
She headed for the door. "Thanks for the coffee – wish me luck!"
"Good luck, Penny!"
Once back in her apartment, she snatched her cell phone from her bedside table.
She punched in Wil's number and impatiently waited for him to pick up. No answer. At the voice mail beep, she could hardly contain the words that came out. "Oh my god, Wil! Thank you so much! Avalon Artists Group called today, and they got me an audition for a pilot, maybe the one I mentioned? Thank you, thank you, thank you! The only problem is, I've had such terrible luck with auditions, so I'm not sure how to prepare, even though it's only for a small part. I think I'd better get some inside information. You have any time this morning to prep me a little? Of course, you're probably busy, so I'll probably have to fly by the seat of my pants. It's too bad that Sheldon still isn't speaking to me – he'd make a really good coach–"
The call-waiting beep interrupted her stream-of-consciousness message and she looked at the screen. It was Wil, thank god. "Wil?" she asked, after punching the button. "Did you hear any of my message?"
He laughed. "No. I just missed your call the first time. What did you need to tell me?"
She went through the entire spiel again for him, but ended it with, "Can we get lunch and talk this through? My appointment is at 3pm."
"Today? Um, sure." On the other end of the line, there was a sound of shuffling papers. "When? Where?"
"How about Arroyo Chop House?" It wasn't too far from the agency, if she remembered correctly.
"Sounds good. How about around eleven o'clock?"
Penny looked at the clock. That would only give her 20 minutes to get ready and get there. "What if we make it 11:30 instead?"
"Sure. Congratulations, Penny." He hung up.
Penny jumped up and started shoving aside hangers in her closet with determination. She needed to find something comfortable, something that showed off what great shape she was in, something classy. Actually, she had no idea what kind of part it was. Maybe there were space hookers on this show? Or hard-drinking fighter pilots? In the end she threw three different changes of clothes on the bed – hopefully Wil could help her decide on the best look.
She rushed over to the bathroom to put on her make-up, and then stopped after applying foundation to only one side of her face. What if she was going for an alien part, and she had to wear prosthetics? After a moment, she shrugged. If Jeri Ryan could pull it off and still look hot, so could she.
~o~o~o~
Penny opened the door to the comic shop with a grin on her face and hope in her heart. Just as she hoped, the pilot was the exact same one she hadn't been able to read for before, just a different part. The agency had seemed very hopeful that she would be good for the part, one of the crewmembers who would be part of a vital mission. She would go in for an official audition in a few days.
She just felt like celebrating – this was the closest she had ever come to an actual audition on a real, professional production. It didn't matter if she got the part or not (okay, maybe it did), she felt like her life in L.A. was finally going somewhere. All because of Wil! The old saying, "It's who you know," was so true.
Penny started browsing the racks, hoping she could spot that Power Girl comic book. Maybe she could read a few issues and surprise Wil with taking his advice.
She didn't have to search blindly for long. Stuart's mild voice sounded behind her, startling her with how close it was. "Penny? Another birthday for your nephew coming up?"
She turned toward him. "Oh, Stuart. Thank god. I'm looking for Power Girl. Where do you keep that?"
Stuart frowned slightly. "Hellblazer not a good fit, then?"
"What?" she said, then realized with a laugh what he meant. "No, this is for me! Where do you keep it?"
Stuart's mouth opened and closed a couple of times. "For... you?"
"Yeah, I promised I would give it a try."
He blinked, then shook his head to clear it. "Okay. Okay then, um, over here," he led her to a row of thin booklets, "is where we keep the trades. The trade paperbacks. Several issues collected together, so you don't have to buy all the back issues."
"Oh, that's convenient."
"Yes, it's a good way to catch up, and a lot of people collect their favorite titles this way." He tapped a shelf over to her right. "Here it is. You probably want to start with Volume One of the new run."
"Thanks," she said, and slid the booklet out of the shelf. Lots of pictures of a blonde girl kicking ass, with that costume she remembered. "Tell me, Stuart," she said, pointing to the cutaway cleavage in Power Girl's unitard, "Does she defeat the villains with Super Boob Power?"
He looked embarrassed for a minute, but answered anyway, averting his eyes from the page. "Actually, Peej is really powerful. She's Kryptonian, like Superman."
"Hmm." Penny shrugged and turned another page. "Bet it doesn't hurt, though."
"Penny," Stuart said. "If you don't mind me asking, who did you promise?"
"Oh, Wil. I thought I'd surprise him."
"Wil?" His voice sounded more confused than when she'd first asked him where Power Girl was located.
"Yeah. He talked about it on our first real date, and it sounded pretty decent." She flipped another page. "Though I can't promise him anything."
"Wil who?"
Penny stopped reading and turned to Stuart. "You know, your friend! Wil Wh–" She realized that there were too many people around, and it wasn't their business. Lowering her voice, she said, "Wil Wheaton. Didn't he tell you?"
Stuart's mouth opened and closed again, this time with a click. "No. No, he absolutely did not tell me." He ran a hand through his curly hair. "He did not."
Penny frowned. "That's weird." Wil's comment about waiting until it was 'real' suddenly came to mind. "He's probably keeping it quiet for now."
Stuart pressed his lips together. "I would say so." He gave her an awkward smile and wave, then turned and walked back to the counter.
Penny wondered at his strange reaction. She knew he'd always had a little crush on her, but after two pretty much disastrous dates she figured he knew they'd never work. He was probably just bummed that a friend, a good friend, was dating Penny now. She turned another page and really started reading.
The next thing she knew, she was about halfway into the book. She put it down, surprised. She was going to have to get more than one, if they had it. But she didn't see any other volumes on the shelf. Penny took it to Stuart, who was standing at the counter, back to the customers and his cell phone to his ear. She placed the Power Girl trade on the counter.
Stuart continued to talk in an urgent-sounding voice. "Listen, it doesn't matter why, I need you to come–" He glanced at Penny and dropped the phone from his ear onto the counter with a clatter.
She pointed to the phone, which had flipped shut. "I didn't mean to startle you. I can wait."
"No, no," he said, not really covering his agitation. "What did you need?"
"I want to get this book. I really liked what I was reading." She had no idea what had him upset, but he didn't seem to be mad at her. "Are there any others after that?"
He took a deep breath. "I think we only have the single issues after that – the trades usually come out a couple months later. Do you want me to see if we have them in stock?"
"If you wouldn't mind. But seriously," she placed her hand gently on his arm, "it can wait until you finish your phone conversation."
He shook his head. "It was over, anyway. They'll call me back." He came out from behind the counter and gestured for her to follow him to the boxes of comics lined in rows on the shop floor. He flipped through one of the longboxes, pulling out a couple of issues and setting them aside. "I guess we don't have issue number 10 here. Do you want me to see if there is anything in the back?"
"Do you mind?"
He glanced at the clock for some reason before answering. "Not at all. Just... wait right here."
She wander over to the counter, idly flipping through the rest of the book, when a flash of light off of a car window caught her attention. She looked outside to see Wil's car pulling into a parking spot. What a nice surprise! She set her books down and started toward the door to greet him.
Before she knew it, Stuart was there in her face, blocking her view of the lot. "Penny, wait. Let me talk to him first."
"Talk to him? Why?"
Stuart shuffled her backward, away from the door and around to the other side of the counter. She'd never seen him this agitated before. "Do you trust me?"
"Yeah, I guess, but–"
"Then trust me now. Hide." With all his might, he tried to press her down.
She stayed put, mouth quirking stubbornly.
He pleaded once more with his eyes, and she frowned. "Fine." She dropped out of sight.
"Hey, Wil," Stuart said, trying to keep his voice light, but Penny could detect a thread of anger nonetheless.
"Hey, Stu. Got my books?"
"Sure." Penny thought he would come behind the counter to dig in the hold boxes, but he simply lifted a stack of books from beside the register.
"What was so urgent that I had to pick them up today?"
Yes, Stuart, what was so urgent? She almost stood up right then, her friendship with Stuart be damned.
"When were you doing to tell me about Penny?" Stuart said in a low, furious voice.
"Tell you what?" Wil scoffed. "So we're having a few laughs. Big deal."
"Penny is my friend. I can't believe you'd do this to her."
"Do to her?" Wil laughed, and it had a different sound than his usual easy-going chuckle. "I've done nothing to her, Stuart. I've made sure not to, in fact. Furthermore, I just got her an audition – something she would never have landed without my connections." His voice sounded strange, too, almost smug. "If anything, I've done her a huge favor."
"Under false pretenses!" Penny had never heard Stuart sound so upset – usually he was completely even-tempered. "She thinks you like her, Wil!"
Like her? What? Penny's stomach dropped. What the hell was this about?
"I do like her, Stuart. I'm not faking that."
"Just everything else."
"I'm not faking how much fun I'm having."
Penny's emotions began to swing wildly between confusion, worry and hurt. She wanted to jump up and demand to know what they were talking about, but the truth was, she was 'hearing' a whole new side to Wil by staying out of sight.
"Fun?" Stuart spat. "You're only having fun because you know how much it tortures him to see her with you."
There was a pause. Then Wil answered, "Okay, maybe."
Now Penny's hurt was beginning to turn to anger. He'd been using her? To get to 'him'? Did that mean Leonard? Maybe, except Leonard seemed to accept that she was dating Wil after the gang's Doctor Who night. Did he mean... Sheldon?
"Wil, if you're really my friend," Stuart pleaded, "you'll break it off with her now. Let her down gently."
"I really am your friend, but I'll do what pleases me." His voice seemed to grow more distant, as if he were walking away.
"What about Anne?" Stuart suddenly called out. "The boys?"
Anne? His ex-wife? There were kids involved? She was almost burning with anger now.
"What about them?" Wil scoffed, and he sounded closer again.
"I'll–I'll tell Anne!" Stuart sounded desperate.
Wil laughed derisively. "She already knows. She thinks it's hilarious."
"She–she let you cheat on her?"
"A few play-acted kisses aren't cheating, Stuart. I would never cheat on Anne; she's my soul mate." He lowered his voice, chuckling, "I mean, not without inviting her to join in."
He and Anne were still married after all? That was it. She was going to get up and give him an Omaha-style ass-kicking. She looked around for something to whack him with, even a thick catalog would do, but she saw nothing. So she twisted her purse strap around her wrist and leapt up.
"Let's see how fun this is for you!"
She swung her purse in a wide arc, but instead of clocking Wil, she clipped the side of Stuart's shoulder, spinning him around to stumble against one of the displays.
Her anger dissipated into worry and she came around the counter in a rush to help him stand. "Stuart, are you okay?"
He rubbed at his shoulder. "Yeah, I'm fine – are you?"
"Yes," she growled, anger back. She looked around the store, but didn't see Wil. "Where is he?"
Stuart looked toward the doorway. "He just left."
She hadn't heard the door chime, dammit! She hefted her purse and swiftly made for the door. Just as she got there, she felt Stuart pull her back. "No, Penny, don't!"
"Why? That asshole deserves a lot worse than the side of my purse!" She pushed on the glass.
His hand tightened on her arm. "Assaulting him is just going to get you into trouble, Penny."
Fuming, she watched Wil's car pull out of its parking spot. "Totally worth it."
"He's a celebrity. Whose side do you think the media is going to take?"
She pounded the glass with a fist as his car drove out of the lot. He had no idea what he had just escaped. Oh, man, she was going to get right in her car and confront him at home. He wouldn't know what hit him. "I don't care, Stuart. He's pure evil." Penny trailed off. "I can't believe I actually agree with Sheldon on something."
Stuart let go of her arm and shuffled his feet awkwardly. "I agree with you, too, Penny. What happened to Sheldon and the guys before, well, that was just funny. This?" He frowned. "Unacceptable."
"It wasn't very funny to the guys, I bet," she said, contemplative. "To Sheldon."
Stuart cocked his head to the side. "Raj didn't seem to mind it very much."
"You know what?" Penny started walking toward the cash register, leaving Stuart to trail after. "You're right. As much as I want to grind his stupid bearded face under the heel of my boots, that's not the way to do this." She set her Power Girl trade on top of the others; there was no reason to read them now. But she had really been enjoying it. She shrugged and pulled a twenty out of her wallet and laid it beside the register to pay for the trade.
Stuart came around to the other side of the counter to ring her up. "What is the way?"
She smiled, a wicked grin splitting her face. "He's not the only one with acting skills."
~o~o~o~
Sheldon's grin was so smug she could have smacked it off his face. (What? She was tense, and working hard to control the anger bubbling up lately.) "Say it again."
Penny sighed. "You were right."
"I'll never tire of hearing that."
Penny shook her head and sat back against the arm of the sofa. "You already know it, why rub it in?"
"Of course I know it. It's just nice to see you acknowledge it once in a while."
Leonard came and sat in his armchair, a mug of coffee in his hands. "Be glad you can actually go home later so you don't have to hear him gloat."
"I do not gloat!" he protested. "I merely express my correctness."
Leonard and Penny looked at each other. "Gloating."
Howard spoke up from the floor. "Are we going to get planning or what? I've got a date tonight," he bragged. "Unlike some..." He seemed to realize why Penny was dateless too late. "...of you."
"Bernadette could help now that you're dating again," Penny suggested.
"Yes," Sheldon agreed. "She would add an air of realism to the whole enterprise."
Penny nodded. "Yes, the more of our own people in on the plan, the better."
"Agreed," Sheldon said. "Although I would prefer that we were facing him on a field of honor."
"What happened the last time you met him on a 'field of honor,' Sheldon?"
Sheldon's mouth pursed, and he was silent.
Raj scribbled something on a sheet of the planning paper and held it up, helpfully. It read: HE KICKED YOUR ASS.
"Right!" Penny agreed. "Because unlike the way he presents himself online," Penny had been researching Wil the last few hours, the way she should have done from the start, "he has no honor. We have to be just as dishonorable to beat him."
Sheldon looked uncomfortable. "Still, you know how difficult I find it to lie or keep secrets."
Penny patted his arm. "That's why you'll be out of sight, manipulating things from behind the scenes. We just have to make sure the two of you never meet before the day arrives."
"When do you want to do this, Penny?" Leonard asked.
"Let's see. It needs to be after the audition." Penny wasn't going to let her newfound hatred of Wil screw that up. "On one of my days off. How about this Thursday?"
"Anything can happen Thursday?" Howard asked with approval.
"If by 'anything,' you mean, 'the world will see what an ass Wil Wheaton really is,'" Penny smiled with satisfaction, "then yeah."
