I'm gonna harden my heart
I'm gonna swallow my tears
I'm gonna turn and leave you here
- "Harden My Heart" Quarterflash
Chapter 4: Animal
Victoire gasped in surprise, Teddy's hands slammed into the wall on either side of her face. Even if she would've wanted to she couldn't have escaped. But that thought didn't even cross her mind, Teddy's kiss was totally different from any other. The pure need in his movements made her mind go blank.
She'd answered the kiss without thinking, and his hands moved down to grip her waist, pulling her against him. Victoire braided her arms around his neck, bringing herself closer to his face. Her hands played with his hair as her lips moved against his.
He'd been crouching down towards her all this time, but now she yelped in surprise as his hands slid down to her thighs, took a firm grip and hoisted her up until her face was levelled with his. She automatically wrapped her legs around his waist, for the first time catching a glimpse of his eyes.
If she thought they'd been dark before it was nothing like this, they were completely black, like the eyes of an animal. She couldn't see a trace of the cute boy she knew within them. A strike of fear shot through her, but when he started kissing down her neck she forgot it instantly, her arms tight around his neck. She was suddenly very aware that his hands were gripping her thighs and her dress had ridden up to her upper thighs.
"Teddy-", she gasped, her voice faint. He kissed her collarbone, following it out towards her shoulder, meanwhile his hand had travelled up her leg, suddenly playing with the hem of her dress. Her mind was buzzing, and she could barely form coherent words.
"Teddy-", she tried again, her voice louder. He still didn't respond, and she caught his face between her hands, forcing him to look at her. "Teddy!"
It was like if she'd flipped the lightswitch, his eyes cleared up and he suddenly released her completely. She let out a surprised yelp as she staggered against the wall, just barely avoiding crashing towards the floor. Teddy had moved to the other side of the corridor, pressing up against it as if he wanted to come as far away from her as possible.
"Vicky- I am- are you okay? I am so sorry-", he panted, taking a step forward towards her, but immediately stepping back. Victoire still hadn't caught her breath either, and now she was confused as hell. She tried to regain some of her dignity when she stood up straight, pulling her dress down. Teddy didn't look at her the whole time.
"What is going on? Of course I'm okay", she said, thankfully her voice was steady enough. Teddy glanced quickly at her, as if checking for himself. Victoire took the opportunity to move towards him, trying to catch his hand.
He was several steps away in a heartbeat. "Please don't touch me."
"What?" Victoire's hands fell to her sides, feeling like he'd hit her right across the face. "You just kissed me!"
"I know, it was a mistake, I am so sorry- I promise it will never happen again." He turned around, starting to walk away with long steps. Victoire stood frozen, watching him rounding the corner and out of sight.
Victoire didn't know exactly how long she stood there for, but when she slowly leaned against the wall, sliding down onto the floor, she had tears in her eyes. She pulled her bare legs up, wrapping her arms around them.
She had no idea what just had happened, she'd dreamed of Teddy kissing her for ages, and it had been even better then she'd imagined it. And now, now she practically felt worse then she ever had. She'd never thought she could feel so hurt by getting exactly what she wanted.
And then being called a mistake, of course.
Victoire banged her head against the wall, anger flaring up inside her. How stupid of her, she'd known all along that Teddy was unavailable. She could have anyone except him. Maybe he thought it was wrong? They weren't family, but Teddy was considered a part of the family. Maybe he saw her like a cousin, or even a little sister.
"Victoire?" A voice rung through the corridor, and Victoire startled. A pair of high heels clattered against the stone floor, and she found herself glancing up into Priscill's face. The girl was looking amazing in a black dress almost the same colour as her hair.
"What are you doing on the floor? Are you crying?" Priscill wrinkled her nose in distaste, and Victoire quickly wiped her eyes.
"Of course not."
"Good." Priscill slid down next to her, kicking her heels off in the process. "These shoes have been killing me all night."
"Know the feeling."
"Really? It looks effortless for you." Priscill glanced at Victoire's killer heel shoes-
"I've been learning since I was twelve practically."
"Oh, fourteen for me."
"You'd think it'd get easier with time don't you?" Victoire said, and she knew that the other girl knew she wasn't talking about shoes anymore. Priscill nodded beside her.
"Yep, but it never does."
"What are you doing here exactly? Don't you have a date?" Victoire had gathered herself enough to realise that a girl like Priscill didn't just leave a party without a reason.
"Oh he left, can't find him."
"That doesn't sound like a very nice guy."
"He isn't, it's Gabriel Lestrange."
"What?" Victoire's voice rose, and Priscill narrowed her eyes.
"Don't judge me, you went with Nott!"
"I'm not judging, I'm just…. Surprised. That's all", she lied in a strained voice. Were was Lestrange if Priscill was here with her?
"And shouldn't you be with Nott? Or is he the reason you're sitting here looking miserable?"
"What? Oh, right, yeah…" Victoire shrugged. "Look I'm just gonna leave, this wasn't a fun dance anyway."
"Couldn't agree more" Priscill rolled her eyes, and the two of them took their shoes in their hands and went barefoot through the castle. They bid each other goodbye when they passed outside the corridor towards the slytherins, and Victoire ran the last way up towards the Ravenclaw tower.
She crashed into the common room with tears blurring her vision. The dance was still going on and the younger kids had already gone to bed, the room was empty. At least that's what she first thought.
"You've been lying to me." The sly voice rung through the room, her veins iced up when she slowly turned around, afraid to confirm with her eyes what she already knew.
"How did you get in here?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Lestrange was leaning against the fireplace, her tattered copy of Pride and Prejudice in his hand.
"You only have to answer a riddle, I'm quite good with those." He said. She swallowed when he flipped another page in her book, slowly moving towards her. She didn't move or speak until he'd reached her in the middle of the room. He held the book out towards her.
"This yours?"
"No" She knew she'd never put her name on it, and she didn't like him knowing anything about her. Especially not her favourite book.
"There you go again with the lying dear, I'm telling you it's not good for a pretty girl like you." He smiled, but it never reached his eyes. "I know it's yours, I've seen you read it."
"Oh right, I guess I forgot" she let out a nervous laugh, accepting the book. She'd understood the meaning behind his words, he was watching her. "Shouldn't you get back to your date? I know Priscill isn't the kind of girl who just waits around for a guy." She said, trying to get herself on top of the conversation.
"I asked Elijah to keep an eye on her, since his date left him." Lestrange's eyebrow rose, dark eyes drilling into her.
"I was starting to feel a bit sick and had to leave, would you tell him that for me please?" She said, taking a step to pass Lestrange, but he caught her arm in a harsh grip. Memories of him pressing her up the wall that forsaken night came rushing back, and she tried to twist away. His fingers simply tightened, pulling her harshly against him.
"I know you think you have everyone fooled, but I see right through you." He wheezed, Victoire blinked.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She sounded pathetic even to herself.
"Then let me refresh your memory" Lestrange said, pulling her even closer, pressing his lips against her neck. Victoire gasped in fear, her hands against his chest, trying to push him away.
"When Lupin did this I don't remember you reacting quite like this." His lips left her neck, smiling humourlessly towards her.
"I-" She blinked, how did he know? Had someone seen them? Had Priscill told him?
"So now you're speechless huh? No more lies now that you know you're screwed?"
"Fuck off" Victoire said through gritted teeth. Lestrange's nostrils flared, with one harsh motion he'd pushed her to the floor. Victoire's elbows caught the fall, and she scrambled away quickly. She was just about to tell him to leave Teddy out of this when someone dashed between them.
"Leave her alone!" He bellowed, and Lestrange shrugged back in surprise. Anthony glared at him, and Victoire stared at Anthony. Oh merlin what was he doing?
"Are you okay Victoire?"
"I'm fine Anthony, you should leave." She pushed herself up, catching a glimpse of the look on Lestrange's face. He definitely wasn't happy.
"Hell no, he's the one leaving." Anthony gave Lestrange a deadly glare, "And you're never coming near her again."
"Or what? You're going to stop me prettyboy?" Lestrange grinned, crossing his arm and not backing one step.
"I will if I have too." Anthony said darkly, and Lestrange smiled. He slowly leaned forward, his voice just loud enough for Victoire to catch.
"Are you really sure she's worth it?"
"Leave." Anthony repeated, Lestrange shrugged, moving towards the door.
"I'll see you around prettyboy", he called, just before the door fell close around him. Victoire wanted to kick something, but instead she threw her book across the room.
"You idiot!" She exclaimed, "Why did you have to burst in here and ruin everything?" Everything depended on how she handled this right now, Anthony had come at the worst possible timing, and right now her real feelings and what she had to do matched up quite good.
"What? He was threatening you! He'd pushed you to the floor! I saved you!" Anthony bellowed as she whooshed past him to pick her book up again.
"I tripped you dumbass, he was just about to help me get up!"
"I know that's not what happened Vicky! And weren't you at the dance with Nott anyway? What were you doing with Lestrange?"
"I don't see how that is any of your business." Victoire said through pursed lips. If he had to think she was leading on several guys simultaneously, so be it. She'd done it before anyway.
"Victoire what is going on with you? I'm worried-" Anthony moved towards her, and she realized his fondness of her had been even stronger then she'd first thought. She'd have to pick it up.
"I don't recall that being any of your business since I dumped you."
"Victoire-" Anthony had stopped, and she knew her words had hit in the right place.
"Just leave me alone Anthony, we had a fling, that's all, get over it."
She left him standing crestfallen, and ran up to her dorm. Once she threw the door closed the tears burst out for the second time. She leaned against the door, sliding down to the floor with her head in her hands. Hulking she realized what a mess she was in.
She could only hope that Anthony was hurt enough to never want to look or speak with her ever again. He'd be safe that way. It physically hurt her to say those things to him, because he was a nice guy, she knew that, and she'd never wanted him to be in any kind of danger. She hadn't actually understood that he'd fallen so hard for her.
And Teddy, she couldn't do that to him. She wasn't even in any position to, he'd been the one who did it to her! If only Lestrange hadn't found out, that way she could just forget about it. Or pretend to forget, she'd never forget the way her skin prickled under his touch.
Victoire wiper her face with her sleeve, if her world had been crooked before, it had turned completely upside down tonight.
She heard voices coming up the stairs, quickly she stripped out of the dress, leaving it in a wrinkly pile on the floor. It had brought nothing good. Then she fled into the shower just before her roomates came in through the door, chattering happily. Victoire leaned against the wall, letting the hot water stream down her head and shoulders, whisking away Lestrange's touch, but also taking Teddy's with it.
Teddy drove his hand into the wall, the stone easily breaking through his skin. A small strain of blood sipped from his knuckles and stained the end of his white shirt. He didn't even feel the pain, and he knew it would heal in no time anyway. He knew what he must look like right now, eyes completely black, stripped of every kind of human emotion and sense he'd ever had.
He drew a hand through his hair, trying to gather his thoughts as he finally threw the doors open and bounded out into the cold night air. The coldness spread through his lungs as he took a deep breath, but it did nothing to clear his head. There was no way he was ever going to be able to erase those pictures from his memory. Victoire's warm lips against his own, her skin under his hands and the small moans that had escaped her lips.
Teddy fell into a run, pulling his tuxedo off and leaving it on the ground, he knew Andromeda would kill him, but he didn't care. The only thing he wanted to do was trying to push Victoire out of his mind, he had to.
He cursed himself, why hadn't he'd been able to control himself? Because it was Nott and Lestrange? He'd seen her with Corner, and he hadn't wanted to rip that guys throat out.
Well that was a lie, every time he looked at Corner he wanted to punch his face in. But he knew that was the animal within him talking, and there was no way he'd ever do that. But Nott and Lestrange, those weren't good guys. Especially not Lestrange, Teddy's senses tingled whenever Lestrange was near. The guy was dangerous, and seeing Victoire in his arms something snapped within him. It was just barely he'd been able to control himself and civilly break them up instead of throwing a punch right there in the middle of the floor.
Once again Victoire's sparkling eyes flashed past his mind, her lips curling upward into a coy smile. The kind of look that could make every guy fall to her feet if she wanted him to. Why did it have to be her. Why? It could have been any other girl in school but he had to be drawn to her. She'd been his best friend, practically family.
Now there was no way he'd ever be able to deny his feelings for her. Not after tonight, not after forcing her up against a wall and kissing her hardly. She'd never be able to forgive him, she wouldn't want to talk to him, not even look at him.
Maybe that was for the best? Maybe some distant could make the fire burning within him cool off, maybe someday he could be near her without wanting nothing else then to make her his. Maybe he could actually be happy to see her with a guy like Corner?
Teddy knew perfectly well that day would come. He'd never be able to go back and look at Victoire the way he had before. Before he first shifted.
Andromeda and Harry were the only ones who knew what had happened during the summer. That night when Teddy came home in the twilight with ripped clothes and animal eyes. Andromeda called Harry, and Teddy had to accept his destiny.
He was a werewolf, and he could eat wolfsbane to stop it, but it would still never change what he was. He'd hated it, he was already a metamorphmagus, did he have to be a werewolf too? He was like a freak of nature.
But he hadn't realized just how hard this would be on him until he saw Victoire for the first time after the shift. She was grinning towards him in a strapless dress and hair in a long braid. Something had snapped inside him, and he knew he was in deep trouble.
He'd asked Harry about it, not saying it was Victoire of course, he just said it was an old friend of his he suddenly started feeling different about. Harry had said it was a werewolf thing, everything he'd felt before was heightened. But Teddy soon realized they weren't just heightened, they were unbearable.
He knew what Victoire did to guys, she could pull their hearts out and then pierce it with one of her high heels without even knowing it. Then she'd leave him hollow as she moved on. Teddy had used to laugh at these guys, but now he both understood them and hated them.
Victoire was his, but he couldn't do anything about it. And now she hated him.
Teddy glanced at the sky, it wasn't a full moon so he wouldn't turn. But he still had werewolf blood pumping through his veins, making him stronger than the average wizard as he bolted through the forest. In a few days he would start feeling sick as the full moon approached, he had to get it out of his system until them.
Victoire's eyes. He pushed them away. Her lips. No. Her arms around his neck. Definitely no. Her smell. Get your shit together Ted.
No matter how fast he ran he could never push the thoughts of her out of his mind.
...
The next day Teddy's mood was probably the worst in the history. His dormmates had noticed, and after the usual morning bantering they'd left him alone. He forced some breakfast down, knowing he'd only get even more edgy if he was hungry, and then headed of to his lessons.
The morning went past in a dreaded blur, he kept looking around to see if he saw Victoire, and every time he caught glimpse of a light blonde girl he jumped high. He knew he had to face her sometime, but he didn't want to se the awful disbelief in her eyes.
He actually managed to stay away from her, but not from Corner. He slipped up beside Teddy when he was crossing the yard after lunch, made a beeline and forced him to stop. Teddy's blood immediately started pumping, only knowing that Corner and Victoire had been that… intimate… He knitted his fingers into fits in his pockets.
"What do you want?"
"I want you to stay away from Victoire." Corner wheezed, and Teddy forgot to be mad in a second of shock.
"What?"
"You're too dangerous, if you care at all about her you have to stay as far away from her as possible before you hurt her."
"I'm dangerous?" Teddy exclaimed in disbelief, he knew very well he was, but Corner didn't know he was a werewolf and should probably be more concerned about Nott and Lestrange. "I don't know what you're talking about, she's with that Nott guy isn't she?"
"Yeah, and she should stay with him, at least he's better than a werewolf." Corner wheezed. Teddy's jaw dropped, but this time he wasn't able to control himself. His hand shot out, catching the other boy's collar tightly.
"Excuse me?"
"I know you're a werewolf Lupin, you're a freak. Barely human."
"I'm going to give you one chance to take that back." Teddy threatened as he pushed Corner away. He stumbled, but regained his balance. A few younger girls in their vicinity had paused, looking at them. Teddy barely noticed, he was starting to see red, and forgetting just why he couldn't rip Corner's throat out.
"Look at yourself, you can't control it. You're a danger to everyone and especially Victoire. I want you to leave her alone", growled Corner, stepping up closer to Teddy, almost as tall as him.
"Are you sure you want to threaten a werewolf?" Teddy said through gritted teeth, beyond caring that he should probably deny the accusations and just walk away. But he was triggered now, and he couldn't just stand down.
"I'll take my chances, for Victoire. Now are we clear?"
"I don't think so, what are is going to stop me?" It wasn't Teddy speaking, it was his animal side. The side that was completely beyond reason and driven purely by instinct. Corner's face was set in stone, and Teddy was so surprised when he threw the first punch that he didn't even have time to duck.
It was a good one too, better then he'd expected from a Ravenclaw. It collided with his jaw, sending a wave of agony through it. The pain seemed to be the last drop, and his werewolf side took over completely.
Victoire pressed her books to her chest as she made her way through the corridor. She'd spent the morning trying to avoid practically everyone, well except Teddy, but he seemed to be avoiding her. She jumped in surprise when she heard someone yell her name.
"Victoire! Vicky! Vickyyyyyyyyy!" It was Rose, panting in the doorway towards the yard.
"What?" She yelled back towards her cousin. The other students in the hall looked between them interestedly.
"You've got to come. Now!"
"I'm busy", she said.
"Oh for Merlin's sake, Teddy and Anthony are fighting!"
"What?" Victoire was already moving, running towards her cousin. Rose caught her hand in the doorway, dragging her out. "What happened, why?"
"I don't know, I was just passing and then I heard shouts and went there and-" Rose swallowed, pointing towards a huddle. Victoire set off running, pushing through the crowd, ignoring the offended yelps from the people she hurt.
She didn't know what she'd been expecting when she reached them, but it wasn't two boys with bloody faces, one barely able to stand. Anthony was swaying, looking much worse than Teddy. Victoire was frozen for a second, she'd never seen him like that. The night before, when he'd pressed her up against the wall, she'd never been afraid, now, she was afraid of him.
"STOP!" She finally regained her voice, yelling as she bolted into the circle. Anthony's head had turned towards her just before she threw herself between him and Teddy.
Teddy wasn't able to stop himself in time, and she was thrown aside harshly. Pain shot through her arm as she landed strangely on the ground. She heard both Teddy and Anthony shouting her name, and she caught a glimpse of Teddy's face. The blackness had faded, and the shock was clear. Suddenly he was kneeling down beside her, Anthony forgotten.
"Vicky, are you okay? I am so sorry I- I didn't see you."
"Stay away from her you creep." Anthony had crawled up on her other side, trying to push Teddy away.
"What is going on here?" A stern voice rung through the crowd, and the students scattered quickly. Professor Longbottom looked at them with anger and disappointment. Rose, still beside them, started throwing herself into an explanation of what she'd seen, but he cut her off.
"Thank you Miss Weasley, but will take that after these three get some medical care."
"I'm fine", said Victoire, but she knew Anthony wasn't, he barely seemed able to stand beside her. Longbottom gave them a long hard glare, then gestured for them to follow him.
Anthony swayed, and Victoire instinctively wrapped her arm around him, keeping him upright. He coughed, trying to say something, she didn't quite catch it. Instead she glanced at Teddy. He was staring right back at her, arms hanging still by his sides. He'd had something like a cut above his right eye, and marks across his jaw. Victoire stared disbelievingly at him, urging an explanation. He turned away.
Victoire couldn't say anything with Longbottom walking just ahead of them, and with a bloody Anthony on her shoulder. He was still coughing, and Victoire distantly recognized a word in his blurry speech- he'd said something about a werewolf.
AN: Finally some answers right? And a lot more problems, but the story would be very boring without them wouldn't it? This chapter took a while because I'm buried in schoolwork, but today I'm hungover, and I can't study when I'm hungover, so I decided to write instead. Heh.
Thanks to ThoughtsxStories, KerryWeasley and Julie London for reviewing, and of course for all the alerts!
