"We got some peanut butter, what looks to be ham, cheese slices, apples, carrots, crackers, anything I'm saying sound good?" Gail raised a brow at the blue eyed blank stare. "Aunt Chloe has some chicken wraps, how about that?"
That got a slight reaction, a head tilt in thought. Then a shake of head.
Gail took another look in the break room fridge, moving a few things here and there. "Ah!"
"How about Aunt Frankie's left over spaghetti?" She swivelled in question.
"Yes please!" Shiloh perked right up at the suggestion of spaghetti. It was his favourite after all.
"I'm sure she won't mind, right?" Gail smiled, knowing full well how pissed the detective was going to be, and not be able to really be mad because it was for Shiloh -her sweet, innocent, hungry nephew. Gail snickered as she re heated the noodles and sauce, enjoying it all too much.
Once happy with their meals they set out for her desk.
Gail's lunch ran twenty minutes over due to picking up her son, and setting up for a few hours hanging out at the station. It'd happened before, Shiloh not having someone to watch him for a few hours and so Gail had to ride the desk -or find someone who she trusted- to continue work and watch the dark haired four year old. Quite a few times Shiloh had ended up at the morgue with Holly, those days always brought some wonderful dinner conversations about fluids, and guts, and medical jurisprudence that she couldn't even pronounce. Those days seemed like his favourite, there were only so many times you could show kids the equipment rooms and it be exciting. Where as a day at the morgue was never quite the same each time.
"Mama?"
"Yes, Shy?"
"Why is the sky blue?" Shiloh asked as they skipped down the halls of 15 division.
Gail smiled at the innocence of the question. Why is the sky blue? "I have no idea of the science behind it."
"I'll ask Hols, Sunday at the park." He nodded at his conclusion.
Gail's insides turned to ice for a split second, every cell, every vein, all dropped below freezing. Holly. The park. She couldn't cancel that, not after avoiding the brunette all week, it would be too obvious that something was going on. And if Holly thought there was something going on then she would have no choice but to admit her change of view. Admit the extra jump of her pulse at the thought of her best friend. Admit her wandering daydreams of smirking lips. Admit the fluttering in her stomach at the mention of her name. Gail was hardly ready to deal with it herself, let alone telling anyone -telling Holly- about it.
"Yeah. I'm sure she'll know." Gail attempted to stay cool and level as they arrived at her desk.
Shiloh rolled over the closest empty chair and sat it next to his moms. Gail passed him his bright headphones before taking out her phone and opening the Netflix app.
"So, you sit right there, eat your spaghetti, and watch The Magic School Bus alright?" Gail instructed as she got the show ready on her phone.
"I can't watch The Magic School Bus." Shiloh was quick to shut it down.
Gail peaked over her phone at the boy beside her and raised a brow.
The brunet wiggled further into his seat, head phones resting around his neck, and tupperware container of warm spaghetti in his lap, glaring at his mother for even suggesting he watch the cartoon.
"I can't watch it without, Holly." Shiloh stated with 'you should know this' written into his every action. "That's our show, and we promised to not watch without each other."
It'd been just over a week since they had last seen each other, the morning of their night of fun, and Gail had been avoiding the doctor since. She needed time to clear her head of the clouds that seemed to bloom with every thought of Holly, needed to bungee cord her heart so it'd stay in place, and she needed to figure out how to put an end to the quiet hum of her body at the mere memory of soft, tanned skin on her own.
"Oh, right. Sorry," she shook her head in an attempt to clear it. "I forgot. What do you want to watch then?" Gail exited the episode and began scrolling through the children titles.
"Mama, I miss Holly. Can we visit the morgue?" Shiloh asked hopefully, his voice void of its usual air of confidence.
Gail's heart pinched with guilt, she'd forgotten about her son in the whole avoidance thing. The past week was probably the longest Shiloh had ever gone without seeing or talking to Holly.
"I'm sorry buddy, but we can't bug her at work." She internally winced at the change in the baby blues starring back at her.
"That's a lie. We visit her all the time at work, mom loves it when we bring her things at work. And we're never a bug."
She paused. There was that word again. Gail closed her eyes and thought of how to react. She could tell him, again, that Holly was definitely not his mom -even if the thought was eliciting a joy and love she'd only ever felt the first time Elaine held Shiloh, and teared up as she whispered 'welcome to the family'. And even then, it was nothing like she was swimming in at the new sound of Holly being mom-, and that he needed to stop saying it. But then she'd have to explain that it hurts Holly, and no it's not because she wouldn't want to be, it's because she isn't and you calling her so reminds her she's not. And no it's not as simple as it seems, and no there's no good way to explain, it's one of those feelings you have to feel to understand. And Gail didn't want to get into that at the station, so obviously that route was a no go.
So that just left, leaving it alone and possibly having it backfire later, or subtly correcting him and washing over the moment.
"You're right, Aunt Holly does love it when we visit her, especially with food cause we all know how she forgets to eat. But we can't see her today, Shy."
"Okay, but why?"
Gail sighed, growing frustrated at the conversation. "Because it's a busy day. I don't have time for a visit, she can't come get you, and you can't go alone."
Shiloh sat quietly for a moment, taken back by his mothers tone. He wasn't used to Gail talking to him the way she was, not used to how quickly she turned from one mood to another, usually there were steady signs that he was pushing limits and he had time to prepare or stop. This was as if he'd flipped the wrong switch and he wasn't sure how to take it.
Luckily he didn't have time to reply.
"I have some time if you want."
Both Pecks turned to see a smiling Officer Diaz, standing awkwardly a few feet away. Gail gave him a glare for eavesdropping, and Shiloh beamed up at him as if he just said they were all going to Disneyland.
Chris scratched the back of his head.
"I mean, I have to go down to the morgue and I wouldn't mind some company." Chris clarified, trying to get the heated stare to cool off.
Shiloh jumped out of his seat, almost spilling his food all over himself.
"Can I mama? Please" the boy drawled out the word, begging with big sparkling eyes, his breath obviously held in anticipation.
Gail thought through the pros and cons, and decided it'd be a good idea. Shiloh got to see Holly, Holly got to see Shy, and she wouldn't have to lose her spot on her reports every ten minutes. It was a win for everyone.
Well almost. Gail wanted to be the one taking him down to see Holly, but she couldn't because her stupid body was messing with how she felt about the doctor, and she really couldn't deal with any real contact until she got it under control.
Holly was filling out a report on the autopsy she'd just finished, listening to the quiet hum of music that filled her office, and wondering what she was going to do for dinner when a small knock sounded from her door.
"Come in." She called, not taking her eyes off of the computer screen.
The door creaked as it slowly opened, revealing a tall, clean shaven officer she'd come to know well.
"Hey Doctor Stewart, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting." Chris said as he entered her office.
Holly smiled warmly. "Not at all, and please call me Holly, I think we've known each other long enough for you to use my first name."
"No promises."
She gave a breathy chuckle, not expecting for this time to be the one that got him to stop being so formal. "What can I do for you?"
"I was just coming in to tell you that Shiloh is here for a visit. He really wanted to see you, and I was on my way down for some results, so he tagged along." "
I don't think you did such a hot job there Chris." Holly pointed to the empty room, no child in sight.
Chris smiled amusingly at her. "He got distracted with whatever it is your intern is doing."
"Ah. Well I appreciate the escort, thank you for bringing him."
"Any time Doc." Chris turned back to the door and said a goodbye before leaving Holly to her excitement.
Holly didn't have to wait long before the familiar sound of slapping feet meeting hard floors sounded from the halls. She smiled, watching the door in anticipation.
"Holly!" Came the small, joyful greeting.
Her heart jumped in excitement, that voice, that bright smile, those sparkling blue-blue eyes, hidden behind her desk as he ran to greet her with open arms.
"Shiloh!" Holly smiled brightly, her day instantly made.
Her breath was stolen from her lungs as a shoulder was slammed into her gut, tiny arms squeezing her torso tightly. Holly wrapped her arms around the small body clung to her own, and inhaled the sweet familiar scent of her favourite little person with a sigh of relief. Holly pulled the boy up onto her lap, never breaking contact.
It'd been too long since she had that, too long without a hug or a smile, too long without the sound of his voice. God had she missed it, him. Holly had no idea what it meant to miss someone whole heartily, to love someone so much that going a week with no contact felt like a pain, a heartache, that couldn't be put into words. She thought she knew. Thought that the first year out of the house was the most you could miss someone. That her first breakup was what the worst a heart could break. That her first straight-girl crush was what true, aching, yearn felt like.
But she was wrong. So, so wrong.
The past week without Shiloh and Gail had honestly been the worst week of her life, and she never wanted to be absent for that long again. Never. Ever. Again. Her heart wouldn't be able to take it.
"I missed you." Shiloh murmured into her shirt.
"I missed you too, Shy." Holly's voice trembled.
Shiloh's weight lifted from her grasp and she opened her eyes to see concern etched into his every feature.
"Why are you sad?" Shiloh asked gently as he wiped away stray tears. His brow furrowed in much the way her own did when worried.
Holly smiled at the boy and held his hand. "I just really, really missed you and I'm so happy you came to visit."
