Matchmaker
Chapter 4: Bofur & Nori
The Plot(s)
"Master Bilbo, fancy seein' you out of yer room so late – and on a freezin' night, too."
"I only just walked out of the door. Besides, I sort of expected you, Nori."
"So you know why I'm 'ere, then?"
"I figured that only you would approach me in the dead of night to ask me to help you court Bofur. That's more your style, I think."
The star-shaped-haired Dwarf smiled. He blew a smoke-ring from his pipe before he spoke again: "By my beard, yer cleverer than I expected."
Bilbo smiled in reply. He wasn't stupid. He'd seen the way Nori and Bofur interacted, and it was all too obvious that there was an attraction between them. They hardly left each other alone, for goodness sake! Always sitting near each other, talking and joking and laughing together as if they were the only two people left alone in the world. Even Bofur's inappropriate jokes were highly suggestive (and not exactly subtle, either), and the Hobbit had seen the way the hat-wearing Dwarf stole that not-at-all-inconspicuous glance at Nori after Dori courted Balin. The thief was more skilled in hiding his feelings, but there was no mistaking the love and adoration in his eyes, which were ever fixed on Bofur as if the hat-wearing Dwarf was a piece of gold.
So, Bilbo wasn't exactly surprised when he walked out of his sleeping quarters to find Nori standing by the balcony, trying to look casual as he smoked his pipe and blew smoke-rings into the cool Rivendell night.
In truth, the Hobbit expected either Bofur or Nori to approach him before they departed Rivendell to continue on their journey.
Not even before we departed Rivendell – I actually rather expected one of them to approach me already!
And it was Nori who decided to take matters into his own hands, and that suited Bilbo fine.
Whoever is first works for me.
A matchmaker's work is never done.
You can't stop me now, Thorin …
"I'm surprised that you only decided to come to me now," said Bilbo smugly, crossing his arms. "I thought you'd want Bofur putty in your arms much sooner."
Nori grinned, secretly impressed by the Hobbit's effrontery. "I couldn't do nuffink wiv Bifur breathin' down me neck, now could I?"
"Bifur?"
"That's righ'. Bifur dotes on me like Dori dotes on Dwalin – not at bleedin' all. Figgers I'm too much of an unsavoury character for his precious cousin to be around, y'know what I mean?"
"Well, your sticky fingers often get you into more trouble than you bargain for," replied Bilbo, unable to suppress an amused smile. "Bifur may have an axe in his head, but he's not ignorant. He's not exactly going to let you – how should I put it? - be a bad influence on Bofur."
"Too righ' I'm a bad influence," said Nori, rolling his eyes, which began to glint mischievously, "but now that Bifur's off bonkin' Óin, the house is empty and I'm all ready t'break in, so to speak."
Interesting use of words. Not at all crude and suggestive.
"When I saw Bifur 'uggin' you, I knew for certain you were behind his an' Óin's courtship. And since yer the love expert, being a 'obbit an' all, I thought, why not?"
Bilbo face-palmed with a frustrated growl. "This is RIDICULOUS! Why does everyone think that my being a Hobbit makes me an expert on love?"
"Probably b'cause yer better at matchmakin' than you are at bein' a burglar," Nori replied solemnly.
Bilbo looked up at the star-shaped-haired Dwarf, surprised at the earnest and totally unexpected answer. Normally he would be cut off at this point when he bemoaned the fact that literally every bloody Dwarf thought that he, being a Hobbit, was some sort of know-it-all when it came to the subject of love.
At least somebody's given me an explanation! I just didn't expect to hear it from Nori, though …
"I, uh, never thought of it that way," he finally said.
Nori's lips curled into a smile around his pipe. "Trust me, Master Bilbo. I'm a thief meself, so I know one when I see one. Still, righ', I think you could be one, what wiv yer cleverness. Now if only Thorin weren't too thick-'eaded and realised tha' already. That, an' you bein' completely bonkers about 'im."
"What?!" Bilbo's face turned red the moment the Dwarf uttered those words. "What exactly are you implying, Nori?"
"Come off it, Master Bilbo," said Nori, sounding (scarily) like Dori for a moment. "Yer not foolin' me. I've seen the way you look at Thorin. Blimey! Like a puppy wantin' attention from 'is master, you are! Yer besotted wiv 'im – don't even try to deny it!"
"I most certainly am NOT besotted with Thorin, as you're so crudely putting it," spluttered Bilbo, too flustered for words (good grief, how many shades of red can my face turn?!). "I can assure you, Nori, I am not romantically interested in that bloody Dwarf, not in the least."
Besides, it's not like Thorin's showing any interest in me –
Oh, for the love of Middle Earth, what ARE you talking about, Bilbo?! Why should he, that miserable Dwarf, show interest in me?! That's the silliest thing you've ever thought about! Why are you even thinking about him? Curse Nori! Curse Thorin bloody Oakenshield! Double-curse his bloody eyes! And triple, quadruple curse BLOODY Gandalf for getting me involved in this venture, too!
Exhaling in pure, utter frustration, the Hobbit, still red in the face, looked up at the star-shaped-haired Dwarf and growled, "Look, do you want my help or not?"
"If changin' the subject will help to calm yer knickers an' to help me court Bofur, then yes, please, I want it," replied Nori, raising an amused, braided eyebrow. He proffered up his pipe to Bilbo, who took it without hesitation and took a few puffs on it to calm his nerves. "Better now?"
"Quite, yes," answered Bilbo. Just barely.
Letting out a smoky breath, the Hobbit began: "Well, the first thing we can establish is that Bofur has strong feelings for you as you do for him."
"I'm sure," said Nori, his expression and tone quite nonchalant, but even in the dim light, Bilbo could clearly see the thief's cheeks flushing faintly. Even the Dwarf's eyes, which only shined when he intended to create mischief, held a certain sparkle that the Hobbit thought he would never see. When he noticed the amused grin forming on Bilbo's face, Nori turned his face away. His skin was pinker than pink.
It's like Nori doesn't want anyone to see him showing emotion. Why?
"It's alright to be open about your feelings, you know," he said, stepping closer to the star-shaped-haired Dwarf. Here, his tone became dry. "There's nothing wrong about showing that you're "besotted" with Bofur."
"The chuffin' Hobbit's revenge," murmured Nori, his lips curving into a smile.
He turned on the Hobbit, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear as he spoke. "That's always been me, Master Bilbo, ever since I was a kiddie. "Stone-Face", they used t'call me, b'fore they gave me worse names. I never showed much emotion 'cause I always thought it meant you were weak. And believe you me, righ', it gives the authorities no end o' pleasure to see a thief at 'is weakest. Showin' no emotion suited me, an' it suits me line of work fine, too."
"But this is different," argued Bilbo. "In case you haven't noticed, Nori, Bofur's been expressing his love for you left, right, centre and practically upside-down on this entire journey, and he has yet to see any clear indication from you that you reciprocate his love. If you're wanting to court him, I highly suggest that you start showing him that there's a real, red-blooded Dwarf with feelings hiding underneath that façade of yours. Show him that you care … that you're willing to do anything for him. He'll definitely appreciate your honesty, I can tell you right now."
A small silence. Nori stared at Bilbo with a stony expression.
And Bilbo stared back, a little out of breath from his small speech.
Then, a smile – a genuine one, at that! - broke out on the star-shaped-haired Dwarf's face.
"By Mahal, Master Bilbo, you never cease to amaze me," Nori murmured, patting Bilbo's shoulder. "Yer certainly one in a million, an' that is the honest truth."
The Hobbit grinned. "I try my best."
Nori nodded. "Now if only Thorin realised tha'," he said in a grave tone.
Bilbo groaned. "Oh please, not that again …"
At least Nori had the decency to look sheepish (Thorin – I mean, Dwalin could take some pointers from him!). "My bad. If it 'elps, maybe thinkin' of a courtin' plan for me will cop yer mind off 'im. No rush or nuffink."
"I'll see what I can come up with," replied Bilbo. He could not suppress the yawn that followed. "Dear me, it's getting late. We'll be leaving in a few hours. It's a shame, really. We could've stayed in Rivendell longer."
Nori shrugged. "Whatever Thorin wants, he shall get."
Isn't that always the way?
Nori patted the Hobbit's shoulder once more. "I'll let you cop back t'sleep now. You 'ave a good night – what's left of it, anyway."
"Same to you, Nori. I'm glad that you came to see me."
The thief bowed. He turned to leave when he paused in his tracks. He looked back at the curious Hobbit with yet another stony expression on his face.
"Nori, what's wrong?" asked Bilbo, feeling uneasy under the thief's gaze.
"Nickin' one's personal property in fron' of me eyes – I would never 'ave expected it of you t'be so bold."
"W-What?"
"If you don't mind, Master Bilbo, I quite like to have me pipe back," Nori answered, holding out his hand.
"Oh!" cried Bilbo, remembering that he still had the thief's pipe. Hurriedly, he handed it over to the stony-faced Dwarf. "I honestly forgot about your pipe. My apologies."
"S'alright," Nori muttered, pocketing his pipe.
That's when Bilbo noticed the twinkle in the Dwarf's eyes. Before the Hobbit could call him out on it, Nori's hard features softened, and there again appeared that warm smile of his.
"You 'ave the makings of a fine burglar, Master Bilbo," he remarked, "though I dare say you've got a bit o' a challenge comin' soon when it comes to yer next theft."
"What do you mean by that, Nori?" asked Bilbo, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.
Nori's eyes glittered, reminding the Hobbit of a fox.
"You'll know it when y'get to it," the star-shaped-haired Dwarf whispered before he turned around and disappeared quickly into the shadows of the night.
He's a mystery, that Nori. One, hopefully, that Bofur can solve.
But if that "theft" remark refers to you-know-who, then I'll definitely be sending Bifur after Nori.
"Where d'you think yer goin'?"
"Back to Rivendell."
"But yer part of the Company! Yer one of us! And … yer the only one who can help me."
"Look, Bofur, if it's about courting Nori, then I'm afraid I can't help you. This matchmaking business has proved to be nothing but trouble for me. I want to put as much distance between it – along with Thorin's griping – and myself as much as possible!"
Bofur's saddened expression, which was so unusual to see him wear, given that the hat-wearing Dwarf always looked jolly and cheerful, almost made the Hobbit want to drop his pack and stay in that cold, dismal cave.
Almost.
But the harsh words of Thorin Oakenshield echoed loudly in his mind: He's been lost ever since he left his home. He should not have come, he has no place among us.
Bilbo had enough. He knew that the Dwarf harboured anger for him, all because he was meddling in the love affairs of his companions. But, in the Hobbit's opinion, it did not mean that Thorin had to say such a cruel thing like that, and in front of everyone as well!
If that's how he's been feeling about me all this time, then he should have let me fall off that cliff and be done with it.
But Thorin saved him. Saved him before he ridiculed him.
Upon reaching the cave, Bilbo noticed that at some point, everyone silently approached their leader, trying to put in a kind word for their burglar. But the dark-haired Dwarf (stubborn, wretched lout!) remained silent and resolute, only speaking when he appointed Bofur on first watch and when he checked on his nephews one last time before they fell asleep. His ice-blue eyes were full of what seemed like concern and love as he silently watched them succumbing to sleep, the brothers unsuccessfully trying to stay awake as they pleaded for their uncle to act kindly towards the Hobbit.
Only minutes before, those eyes looked upon me with hate …
Dwalin, Dori and Bifur made an extra effort to comfort Bilbo, to the slight puzzlement of their Ones, and Glóin and Bombur: Dwalin gave him an extra pillow ("One of Balin's, but he's got a new silver-feathered pillow to sleep on now."); Dori gave him a spare blanket ("'Tis one of Ori's, but I doubt he'll notice that it's gone – he's too busy cuddlin' up to Dwalin to notice anything these days."), and Bifur gave him a tight hug before promising that he would make a toy for him ("I'll get started on it right away," he signed, before Óin jumped in and said, "The only bloody thing you should be doin' is gettin' some sleep." Bombur nodded his assent, whilst Glóin grumbled something along the lines of letting the axe-embedded Dwarf carve the damn toy if it meant not having to see him cuddling up to the healer whilst they slept).
But despite their efforts, Bilbo still felt wretched, and in that moment of wretchedness, he decided that this was it.
This was absolutely the last straw.
I've no other reason why I should stay any longer. I've helped these Dwarves as much as I can, though it's only served to make me look worse in Thorin's eyes. It's a shame that I can't help Nori any further with courting Bofur, but at least he's smart enough to come up with his own ideas after he heard what I had to say.
Honest to goodness, I've had enough of Thorin. He doesn't need me any more.
But it's not like he needed me in the first place …
So caught up in his emotions and his sudden desire to leave, the Hobbit had forgotten about Bofur being on watch.
He felt uncomfortable and ashamed that the hat-wearing Dwarf had caught him trying to leave; he felt even more so when he spoke harshly to him … and now, seeing the doleful look on Bofur's face made him feel even worse.
"Ye've come t'be a close friend, Bilbo, ye really have," he whispered in a low, pleading tone. "Ye've been like a second brother t'me – well, third, if ye count Bifur, bless him, but tha' is not the point. I don't want ye to go."
Bilbo sighed, almost growling in frustration. "It's very kind of you to say, Bofur, but Thorin has made it abundantly clear that I don't belong here."
I never did belong here in the first place …
"Don't let what Thorin said bother ye, laddie," replied Bofur, clasping the Hobbit's shoulder. "We all know Thorin can be a dunderhead at times, but I can assure ye tha' he didn't mean t'be so hostile towards ye. Stone Giants aren't a laughin' matter, believe ye me: he was ruddy nervous, is all. He needed to vent his feelin's, and it jus' happened t'be ye tha' he took it out on. Anyone could've 'ave fallen off that cliff an' been on the receivin' end of that! So don't take his words to heart. I know it sounds like I'm makin' excuses for him, but tha' is truly his way. He'll come 'round. Please stay, Bilbo. Say that ye will."
If Bofur's words were made to comfort Bilbo, then he had succeeded, and for that the Hobbit was grateful.
But the hat-wearing Dwarf's words did not persuade him.
I'm not staying. I'm going.
Still, there's one way I could show him my thanks before I leave …
"Bilbo?"
Gently shrugging off Bofur's hand, Bilbo finally answered the Dwarf. "My journey comes to an end here, Bofur. I'm going back to Rivendell, no matter what you say. "
Bofur's face fell the moment the Hobbit uttered those crushing words.
To his surprise and bemusement, however, a small smile broke out on Bilbo's face. The Halfling reached out and placed his hand on the dumbfounded hat-wearing Dwarf's elbow, lightly squeezing it.
"You've been a good friend to me, too, Bofur, despite our short time together," he murmured, his smile warm. "I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I mean that truly. I shan't ever forget you, and I know you'll come to a good fortune, you and your family, when this quest of yours comes to an end."
A pause. "And if you wish to succeed in courting Nori …"
Another pause.
Bilbo's smile grew wider. "Never," he said softly, "stop being yourself. Laughing, joking, singing, comforting … that's what makes you, you. Nori knows this, but he'll never learn to appreciate it until it's too late. Nor will he be honest about his own feelings until he realises that he might lose you. You're sending out the messages to him – now it's his time to respond, and that requires taking a step back a little. Give him that chance to show you that he cares. When that time comes, he'll be yours, and you'll be his. Just … never forget to be yourself."
The Hobbit stepped back, letting his words sink in.
Bofur stared at his friend for a minute or so, his mouth slightly agape. Then, a little smile soon appeared on his face. His eyes, moist with tears, crinkled with both happiness and immense sadness. When he spoke, it was clear that he was holding back his emotions.
"Thank ye, Bilbo," he whispered quietly. "I appreciate yer help. I'll never f'get it."
Then the hat-wearing Dwarf reached out and affectionately patted Bilbo's shoulder, saying as he did so:
"I wish ye all the luck in the world. I really do."
Bilbo smiled, patting Bofur's hand fondly.
I shall certainly need it.
Until we meet again, my friend …
With a small sigh, Bilbo turned to leave the confines of the cave, to leave behind his now-to-be-former companions, to leave with a sense of feeling that, despite the hardships he endured, he accomplished quite a bit in sorting out these Dwarves' love lives …
… when Bofur's next words stopped him.
"What's that?"
When Bilbo looked down at where the Dwarf was pointing … when he slowly pulled out his sword, which was glowing and giving off an effervescent blue colour … when he felt the tremors beneath his feet … when he heard Thorin shouting, "Wake up! WAKE UP!" … when his screams mingled with that of the others as he felt himself falling down into the earth … all he could think of was:
Well, there goes my luck.
The Results
Well, ain't this a fine predicament that we've gotten ourselves into.
Things weren't exactly going well for the Dwarves. First off, they had lost their burglar – the last Nori had seen of him was when they were being rudely ushered from that cage by those vile Goblins deep down into Goblin Town, and that was that. Then, after their weapons were confiscated, they were soon face-to-face with the foul, grotesque Goblin King. A despicable character indeed, spitting as he spoke, his wobbling chin (if that's what they could call that swollen glob) shaking to and fro as he made a show of stomping back and forth.
It was bad enough that the ugly brute ordered his underlings to search them ("In every crack, every crevice!") - poor Óin's ear-trumpet was crushed flat (hoo boy, if looks could kill, Bifur would be me hero), and Dori wasn't exactly impressed that they discovered Nori's stolen hoard from Rivendell ("And in front of Balin, too!" the eldest Ri hissed, clearly embarrassed; Bofur's little chuckle made the thief feel instantly better). But it only got worse when the Goblin King bellowed for the torturing devices to be brought out and ordered Ori to be tortured first (I don't think Dwalin, Dori an' I have ever moved this fast).
The Goblin King wasn't impressed with Thorin when the dark-haired Dwarf revealed himself, ridiculing him and taunting him with referrals to Azog the Defiler. And now, he was singing uproariously (and badly) as his henchmen took to harassing their prisoners whilst the torture devices were making its way towards them.
A very fine predicament indeed, Nori thought dryly as he fended off a Goblin pulling at his arm.
Bofur was thinking the same thing – albeit with the inclusion of mental swearing. He pulled a face as a clammy Goblin hand tugged painfully on one of his braids. The hat-wearing Dwarf slapped the hand away, only to receive a hard kick in his shin.
These ruddy Goblins are relentless!
When he heard Bombur yelp behind him, Bofur whirled around to go and help his younger brother, but just as he made a move to go, he felt a hand clamp down hard on his shoulder, the nails digging into his skin. Feeling himself being turned around, Bofur's eyes fell upon the leering face of a seedy-looking Goblin.
"I quite like your hat," the creature hissed, grinning madly. "Mind if I take a look at it?"
Before the Dwarf could tell him where to shove it, the Goblin's arm moved quickly, and several seconds later, to Bofur's horror, he had the hat in his scabby hands.
"Give that back, ye little fecker!" Bofur roared, rushing forward, only to be pulled back by two of the Goblin's mates. "Get offa me, ye sorry excuses for Orc dung! GIVE ME THAT HAT BACK OR I'LL CHOP YE TO PIECES AND FEED YE TO THE SOD YE CALL KING!"
The hat thief laughed. He placed the hat on his head, where it sat perched at an odd angle, and he stuck his tongue out at the incensed Dwarf. "It does wonders for my figure, don't you think, lads?"
His mates roared with laughter. "It was wasted on this Dwarf, alright!"
Bofur growled. "Yer figure would look much better once I chop yer head off!"
It was at this precise moment that they discovered Orcrist, the "Goblin-cleaver". The Goblins, itching to have a proper go at these Dwarves, now had an excuse to do so. Bofur yelped as his shoulder got hit; Nori heard him and swung around – but his eyes could not detect the hat-wearing Dwarf among the throngs of Goblins.
I can't see 'is bloody hat! It ain't supposed t'be hard to miss!
Please let Bofur be okay. I promise not to pick on Ori, make Dori angry, be rude to Dwalin, try an' nick Glóin's brass from 'is purse … well, maybe one or two coins 'e won't miss … but blessed Mahal, keep Bofur safe! I'm not gonna lose 'im. But where is that hat of 'is?!
Metres away, unknown to the star-shaped-haired Dwarf, the Goblin wearing Bofur's hat cackled.
Then, Gandalf decided to show up at last.
And in light of this (literally – the Wizard an' 'is light shows, so dramatic), Nori saw Bofur's hat out of the corner of his eye before he fell.
There you are!
Things happened quickly. Before the thief knew it, he was back on his feet, his mace and knife suddenly thrust into his hands. Goblins from all sides came flying at him, and it took only but a little effort to dispatch of them quickly.
And the more Goblins he knocked down, the more Nori could see Bofur's hat bobbing into view.
Hold on, Bof, I'm comin'!
Keeping his eyes fixed on the headgear, Nori moved forward, ducking and diving out the way of his fellow companions and the Goblins as they fought. Felling a few of those nasty creatures that stood between him and his companion, the star-shaped-haired Dwarf lunged forward, and –
"'Ere, yer not a bloody Dwarf!" he exclaimed, all too surprised to come face-to-face with a Goblin.
His tone immediately became angry as his eyes fell on the hat that lay askew on the creature's head. "Wotcher doin' wiv that hat?!"
The Goblin spat in Nori's face. "I'm wearing it, if that isn't obvious! Borrowed it from that rude Dwarf. What are you going to do about it?"
"Borrow it back, mate, if that ain't obvious!" Nori returned before he raised his mace and, without a sound, he swung the weapon and knocked the side of the Goblin's head. Stunned, the Goblin did not see the knife coming …
Nori caught the hat before the Goblin's head fell to the ground.
If this don't prove tha' I care for Bofur, I'm burnin' this damn thing, he thought, wiping his cheek clean of Goblin spit.
Suddenly, Gandalf was yelling something, and he found himself running between Dwalin and Ori as they were being pursued by even more Goblins over rickety bridges.
From behind him, Bofur's voice rang as clear as a bell as he yelled, "C'mon Bombur, move yer legs! And mind where ye swing that ladle – ye could knock somebody's hat off with tha'! Oh right, mine's gone, now …"
Nori couldn't help but grin, tightening his hold on the hat.
Now it will be me who ends up gettin' separated from the others!
Bofur found himself running along a bridge, which felt unstable under his feet. Below, he could see the tops of his companions' heads as they fought. Ori clearly had Dwalin's back, wielding the tattooed warrior's war-hammer expertly whilst his One contended with a particularly tough Goblin. Dori was near Gandalf, whilst Balin held his own against a few foolish Goblins who dared to cross his path. Glóin and Bombur were not too far away from Óin and Bifur (how does Óin not hit anyone with tha' bleedin' staff?!). Fíli and Kíli fought alongside their uncle, and Nori –
Wait, where is Nori? Please don't tell me that bugger got himself killed – augh!
The Dwarf yelled as the wooden planks gave way beneath his feet, feeling genuine terror as he began to fall …
… before it was replaced with pure relief when someone grabbed his hand.
Looking up, Bofur's blue eyes met the shining eyes of a star-shaped-haired dwarf.
"Tryin' t'get yerself killed or sumfink?" said Nori (for it was he), grinning. "Just b'cause you lost yer hat, that don't mean you can commit suicide."
Bofur beamed up at him before replying, "If that's how ye feel, could ye be so kind an' bloody pull me up already?"
Nori nodded, using both his hands to pull the Dwarf up to safety. Helping his friend back to his feet, he asked, "Straight up, though, are you okay, Bof?"
"After lack o' sleep, fallin' into the clutches of Goblins, bein' kicked and pulled on, an' then nearly fallin' to my death … an' losin' my hat … well, the next time when adventure beckons, I'll remind m'self to read the fine-print," answered Bofur, smiling a little at the thief's concern.
"Perhaps a present will cheer you up," said Nori, pulling out the hat that was tucked into his belt.
Bofur's eyes widened in absolute delight. "Me hat! I thought it was gone fer good! How'd ye get it back from that Goblin?"
"Well, t'be honest, I actually thought for a moment that tha' Goblin was you b'cause 'e was wearin' yer hat," Nori replied, biting back an amused grin. "Nicked it hammer an' tack from 'im."
Bofur stared at him. "Ye cheeky git! Ye actually thought tha' Goblin was me? I can't be ugly as tha', can I?"
"Oy, I said I was bein' honest, didn't I?"
A pause. Then, softly, "And while I'm at it, yer not ugly at all, yer tosser."
"By Mahal, an honest thief, are ye?" remarked Bofur without malice, but to Nori's surprise, two pink spots appeared on his cheeks as he spoke. "Hardly yer style, I dare say."
"There's more t'me than you think, Bof," responded Nori quietly, his lips curving into a warm, indulgent smile.
To Bofur's amazement, an unusual sparkle appeared in the thief's eyes – his own blue eyes nearly popped out of his head as the star-shaped-haired Dwarf took his hand into own, twining their fingers together.
But Bofur said nothing, instead watching Nori silently.
"It's taken us a long time t'reach this point. I guess it were b'cause I wasn't strong enough to tell you the truth. But the thought of losin' you, wivout you knowin' …"
Nori sighed, squeezing the other Dwarf's hand.
"I'm well sorry tha' I couldn't tell you this sooner, an' I know this ain't exactly the time or place to do so, but Bofur …"
This time, he looked straight into his eyes.
"Bofur, I care about you. Straight up, I do. You make an honest thief out of me, an' I want t'make you 'appy as much as I can."
"Nori …" whispered Bofur, a warmth spreading in his chest whilst the other Dwarf made his confession. "I never knew ye to act this way, so honest and open about ye feelings, but it only serves to make me care about ye more."
And then, without even thinking, he uttered, "The Hobbit was right …"
Hearing those words roll out of Bofur's mouth, Nori looked stunned. "What did you say? The 'obbit was righ' about what?"
The tips of Bofur's ears turned red. "Bilbo said if I stood back and let ye show that ye cared, and that yer were bein' honest, ye were certain to admit that ye liked me. This was b'fore we ended up here."
Nori raised his eyebrows. "That's funny. He told me the exact same thing, righ', or at least sumfink along them lines, back in Rivendell."
"In Rivendell?"
"That's righ'."
"The Hobbit?"
"Aye. And he said the same t'you?"
"Aye."
"Before we got captured?"
"Aye."
Nori and Bofur stared at each other for several seconds.
Then, in unison, they cried at each other, "YOU ASKED BILBO FOR COURTING ADVICE, DIDN'T YOU?"
"Mahal zai abrâl!" exclaimed Bofur, grinning broadly. "Ye don't mean to say we've been too scared to simply tell each other how we felt –"
"– and then we both asked the 'obbit for help!" said Nori, smiling widely. "Tha' smart little git! Too clever by half!"
They both burst into a fit of laughter, unable to believe the sheer absurdity of the entire situation. Bilbo Baggins set them up. Sure, maybe he didn't tell Bofur that he had already advised Nori, but at least the dear creature didn't have the heart to reveal this fact. Besides, did the hat-wearing Dwarf not come to him for advice, too? That he made this all the easier for the two Dwarfs to finally admit their attraction towards each other after all this time … it was laughable!
Suddenly, the aggravated voice of Thorin immediately interrupted their gaiety.
"Bofur! Nori! Get down here NOW, for Mahal's sake! You can finish your chat later!"
"Righto!" answered Nori, wiping a mirthful tear from his eye before turning back to Bofur. He offered up the hat with a bow. "Yer hat, dear Bofur."
"My, my, honest an' polite," murmured Bofur with a grin, placing the hat back onto his head. "I wonder what else lies underneath ye."
"Believe you me, you'll 'ave more than enough time to figger me out."
"I love a good mystery."
It's unclear as to who kissed the other first, but nevertheless, the Dwarves' lips met together in a crushing kiss. They could have kissed longer, if not for a Goblin's arrow whizzing by and nearly hitting Bofur's hat off, and then another shout floated upwards from their leader.
With some reluctance, they parted before gently bumping their foreheads together. And then, hands still intertwined, with their other hands holding on tightly to the mace and the hat, the two new love-birds flew.
Looks like my luck has not yet abandoned me.
This thought was stuck firmly in Bilbo's mind long after he escaped from the mountain, the Hobbit now far from its dangers, and even then he still thought this as he ran to catch up to the Company. So concentrated was he as he ran after them, he nearly forgot about the ring on his hand (a strange item, this ring is – it's a rather good thing that I took it before that dreadful creature used it to do goodness knows what to me).
Puffing as he jumped over rocks and bits of scrub, Bilbo began to slow down when (at last!) he caught sight of his companions, along with their Wizard, who was asking about his whereabouts.
When Nori attempted to explain, only for Thorin to cut in and say some very unkind words about their burglar, and in a very angry tone, only then did Bilbo come to a complete stop.
Leaning against the back of a tree, the Hobbit merely listened as the dark-haired Dwarf spoke, processing his words:
"He's thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since he first stepped out of his door! We will not be seeing our Hobbit again … he is long gone."
Swallowing hard and blinking away the burning salt drops in his eyes, Bilbo sighed. Thorin's words … they cut him deep. Deeper than the deadliest knife, and it all but threatened to reopen his wounds. Wretchedness, in that moment, crept into his frame, threatening to consume his mindset once more.
A sharp whisper, the voice of his Baggins side, sounded from within him:
Leave them, Bilbo. Go back to Rivendell. It's what you were going to do. Now they cannot stop you, least of all Thorin. He doubts you. He doesn't care for you. He is incapable of feelings. Escape, Bilbo, and you'll never have to contend with him ever again.
And for a second, the Hobbit almost gave in.
But then, a soft, kind voice suddenly echoed in his mind:
Don't let what Thorin said bother ye, laddie. Don't take his words to heart. He'll come 'round.
The image of Thorin's eyes, blue and cold as ice, filled with love and concern, appeared before him …
Please stay, Bilbo. Say that ye will …
He is capable … he isn't unfeeling …
He thinks I'm weak …
Prove him wrong …
How?
You'll know … when you get there …
Bilbo sighed again.
If I can give Nori and Bofur the same advice, it shouldn't be hard for me to follow through with it, right?
When Bilbo slipped off the ring and revealed himself, it amused him to see the shocked expressions on Gandalf and his companions' faces, and oh, how it cheered his heart when those expressions changed to that of gladness.
But what delighted him the most was when he saw Nori wrapping an arm around Bofur's shoulders, and the hat-wearing Dwarf quickly pecking the thief's cheek before breathing, "He's alive, Nori! He's alive!"
And you two are finally together. Well done for sorting yourselves out.
But when his eyes fell on Thorin, he was surprised to not see anger lingering in those ice-blue orbs – instead, all he could find was curiosity burning there. Even when Fíli, Kíli and Dwalin questioned him, the Hobbit only paid attention to the look of flaming curiosity in the dark-haired Dwarf's eyes.
And when Thorin asked him, "I want to know … why did you come back?", Bilbo hesitated before he gave him the answer.
The honest answer.
Well, not quite honestly …
But it was enough to extinguish the fire in Thorin's eyes, revealing a softness there that Bilbo thought he would never see. The Dwarf quickly looked down at his feet and back up at the Hobbit, regarding him now with hardness rather than the previous softness.
Bilbo bit back a sigh.
When the time is right …
You'll know …
I have a feeling that this 'challenge' Nori was talking about … it's about to begin …
A/N: Mahal zai abrâl! - Mahal on a cracker!
Yes, BOTH Bofur and Nori approached Bilbo for help. And yes, they did just admit their feelings for each in the middle of a fight with goblins in Goblin Town, of all places. :) If you noticed I had wrote "The Plot(s)" instead the usual "The Plot", you're a star! Hope you found the accents alright - Nori's accent was helluva difficult, but I tried. And poor Bilbo, he's going through so much - why does everyone assume that just because he's a Hobbit that he's the love guru?
Last chapter coming!
Next: Guess who ...
Reviews are welcome!
*~AI07~* :)
