It's in the Genes
Author: Cheryl W.
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or any rights to Dark Angel or Supernatural, nor am I making any profit from this story.
Summary: Crossover with DA and Supernatural -AU– It's the Winchesters who break Alec from jail in Hello/Goodbye and then they start road tripping together. No slash.
Author's Notes: First…I love all you guys for your support!? For a story that I felt sick to my stomach with nerves posting, this has turned into such a fun posting experience because of all of your wonderful feedback!! Second, sorry for the long intermission…I sneaked in a vacation but the good news is I spent a lot of time writing! Now here's your warning: Season 3 themed angst ahead…enough said.
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Chapter 4
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Alec approached the motel room but he stumbled to a stop as his exceptional hearing allowed the Winchester voices to reach him clearly.
"I'm sick of your kamikaze routine, Dean."
"I'm more like a Ninja."
"Oh right, you're the man that has nothing to lose."
"If the shoe fits…"
"Dean don't do this, don't pretend that this doesn't matter!"
"It doesn't change anything, Sam. Now the doctor, he had some good advice…"
"Is that what you want me to do, Dean? Just let you go?"
The silence stole Alec's breath away, left his heart thudding in his chest, felt like somehow he had missed something between the two men, had missed what caused this unbearably pain for both of them. Dean nearly collided with him when he stalked out the door and Alec felt sucker punched by the look in Dean's eyes, of defeat, of sorrow, of failure. "Dean…" he pleaded, uncertain what he was asking for but Dean just pulled back, walked to the Impala and left.
Watching the car leave, Alec hesitantly entered the open door of the room, wasn't even remotely prepared to see Sam sitting on the end of a bed, head down, hand covering his mouth to keep a sob withheld as tears streamed down his face. Alec halted, never having much experience with emotions, with the display of them, with the acknowledgement of anguish let alone the sight of the so very strong Sam Winchester seemingly breaking apart.
"Sam, hey, you OK?" he breathed, soothing instead of pleading as he came to the other man's side, put a hesitatant hand on Sam's trembling shoulder. He bent down to be eye level with Sam as the older man looked at him, but the sight of his face seemed only to cause more tears to well in Sam's eyes. Instantly Alec knew his was the wrong face Sam needed right then. "I'll go after him, bring him back," Alec promised, standing up, already stalking for the door when Sam's words halted him.
"Alec, don't."
Turning around, Alec stood there, torn on which side to take in a battle he didn't know the cause of.
Sam wiped at his tears, shook his head but there was no denying the debilitating level of anguish in his eyes. "He needs some space…" clearly not stating that it was what he wanted, the look in his eyes only reinforcing the words Alec had over heard, the words that Sam didn't say aloud…that letting Dean "go" was the last thing on earth he would ever agree to do.
"If I can help with …whatever's going on…" Alec offered but he let the rest of his words die as Sam shook his head sadly.
"It's between Dean and myself.." Sam stated, felt a pang of regret when he saw pain flicker in Alec's eyes at the disassociation. But he couldn't recall the words or the sentiment. As much as Alec had come to be part of their team, as much as he felt like family …like a cousin …he wasn't a brother, wasn't Sam's brother, wasn't Dean. He wouldn't be losing a brother in less than a year, didn't know the level of agony the thought of losing Dean sprang into Sam's heart. Didn't truly understand the level of love that prompted someone to give up their very soul for the survival of someone they loved...or the pain of being the recipient of such a bittersweet show of love and devotion.
Alec numbly nodded his head. "I'll let you alone," he softly replied as he started to leave the room.
"He's my brother, Alec," Sam said like it explained things, would soften the other man's exclusion. "He knows me. I know him." He gave a small choked laugh that was near a sob. "We finish each other's sentences, steal off of each other's plates, patch each other up….and we tear each other down. He's the only thing I've ever had in my life that I could count on…that wasn't taken away," and his voice shattered on that, had Alec turning around, torn between coming back to the older man and leaving right then.
But something drew Alec to Sam, surged in him a need to ease the man's suffering. "At Manticore they taught us to spot weakness, to exploit it. To use what a person cared about, who a person cared about to manipulate them, to even set them up for an assassination." Alec felt Sam's eyes fall intently on him and he forced a wane smile onto his lips. "Emotions were the one tell that every mark had, was the one thing we were never supposed to have."
"But you're human…" Sam protested.
"Only partly," Alec bluntly stated, as he leaned casually against the bureau in front of Sam. "Sam, I was made in a lab, created to be a weapon, to be an assassin. And the first time I broke protocol, the first time I let myself really care about someone…" he cut the words off, looked away, couldn't maintain the nonchalant façade under Sam's intense look.
"What happened?" Sam breathed, watching Alec as the younger man wouldn't meet his eyes at first, knew why when the green pain filled gaze finally came up level with his own.
"They got caught in the cross fire. They died…she died." Alec could see the compassion, the sorrow for his loss in Sam's eyes. He spoke before Sam could. "I told myself that I didn't belong with Ordinaries, not when my actions, my problems could get them killed. Been telling myself that I don't belong with you and Dean because I could get you guys killed."
"But you've stayed with us. How did we convince you to stay?" Sam asked, wanting to know the trick for getting people to stay, for getting Dean to stay with him, to not leave him.
It was the question Alec had asked himself for the first month before it came to him. "You didn't convince me to stay as much as you convinced me not to leave. Every time I headed for the door, one of you stopped me, tied me to the both of you more tightly than I was before, made me realize that whatever was on the other side of that door…it couldn't compare to what's on this side."
Sam looked even more shell shocked by his revelation and Alec said some of the same words that he had said to Dean, "Dean loves you too much to stay away, Sam. He'll always come back for you because he takes being a big brother, being your big brother, very seriously." But at his words, Sam choked on a sob. His smile instantly vanishing, Alec cursed himself for somehow making things worse, for thinking he, a friggin' science experiment, knew what it was like to have a brother, to know what it felt like to be out of synch with him. "Sam, I'm sorry I didn't…" he brokenly began, hand coming to rest on Sam's shoulder.
But Sam surged to his feet, slipped from Alec's touch, paced away from his presence. Alec winced when Sam, with a growl, threw the glass tumbler at the wall to shatter it into a hundred shards. His stomach churning, Alec watched Sam shake his head, almost brutally wipe away his tears before his angry, desolate eyes fell upon him.
"That's the problem, Alec," Sam snarled and Alec knew the anger was not truly directed at him. "He's always too busy taking care of ME! Taking care of strangers, taking care of …" Sam caught himself before he added the transgenic to the tally, watched as Alec's eyes register the unspoken accusation all the same. With his next words, his voice dropped, became more desperation, regret, frustration and affection than anger. "He never takes care of himself, never worries about himself. He can't get it through his thick head that I'm his brother, that things go both ways between us, that I'm not going to be OK if…" but Sam bit back the word, couldn't utter it, couldn't give that possibility one heartbeat in the light.
Alec wanted to ask, wanted to voice the questions screaming in his head, 'Not going to be OK if What?!'
With a last tear slipping down his face, Sam met Alec's wide eyes, his pained yet naïve gaze. Sam knew what lay in the depths of the green eyes, what hurt lay there, what guilt was stored there, knew that Alec bore the condemnation for taking lives as a Manticore soldier…but he didn't know the unbearable ache of having a life given for him, a life more precious than his own. "You said you thought you should leave us …"
His heart pounding as he feared that Sam was going to make a correlation between leaving and Dean, Alec stammered almost in protest, "But I didn't, I haven't.." left unsaid, 'I couldn't.'
"But you thought about leaving to protect us," Sam bit his lip a moment before he drew in a breath to say the rest, "to save us. So you know that sometimes, people, they don't show their love by staying…sometimes they show it by leaving." Seeing Alec wince at the implications, Sam turned away, headed for the door. He couldn't find it in himself to try and ease the younger man's confusion and pain, couldn't help the resentment building in his chest that someone that looked like Dean would still be around in a year's time, would still be wearing his face, carrying his eyes. But would never be Dean. Would never replace what Dean was to him. Was a replica for his brother but would never ever be a replacement for him. Not for Sam, not in Sam's heart and soul.
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Left alone in the room, blindsided by Sam's statement, by the conclusions he refused to make, Alec bitterly wondered if Manticore might have been doing him a favor when they had sought to rid him of his emotions, to deter him from placing value on anyone that wasn't part of the mission. He was starting to believe that emotions were the root of all destruction because, crap, he felt like he was coming apart at the seams. Like there was another reason, besides the seizures, to issue a factory recall on him.
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Alec didn't do anger, he did deflection and snarky comments and compartmentalizing and, if the situation truly warranted it, revenge. Had let Max's accusations roll off his back, had replied to her put downs with a smirk and a 'yeah, you have me pegged Max' look. Back at Manticore he had had a reputation for being the most even tempered X5.
But he wasn't at Manticore anymore, was instead, of his own choosing, out in the middle of the forest. Wasn't on a mission with his unit but was backed up by people who bore names, not designations, who were not his fellow soldiers but who were his partners, even his friends. And he had greater concerns weighing on him than completing the mission objective. Like two idiots who thought it would be fun to play matador with some scaly, snarling lion sized creature that even Manticore would have found too ugly to keep hanging around.
Fury washed over him, its sensation foreign and yet all encompassing, even as he used all the speed Manticore had built into him to try and stop the inevitable. Growled like the cat his DNA was mixed with as he saw the creature leap forward and slam into Dean, who had recklessly cut his arm to draw the beast to him. Watching helplessly as Dean was knocked onto the ground, he saw that when Dean plunged his silver knife into the beast's neck it only enraged the creature more, made it more anxious to sink its teeth into Dean's flesh.
With a yell, Alec tackled the creature. The action knocked it off of Dean's chest and sent both transgenic and beast tangling together as they rolled in the underbrush. Alec broke the creature's neck before they had completed one roll, tossed the carcass angrily aside when the momentum ceased. Then he was running back to Dean, his eyes catching Sam limping toward them, having been an inconsequential obstacle to the creature's rush to get to the waiting bait Dean had foolishly made himself.
Dropping to his knees on the forest floor beside Dean who was weakly struggling to sit up, Alec put his hand on Dean's collarbone and gently pushed Dean back down to the ground with little effort. His other hand he used to lift Dean's shirt, revealed the miraculously shallow claw marks on Dean's chest that were starting to spot with blood. His trained eyes skimming down Dean's body, he noted the tears in Dean's jeans at both shins, the dark liquid that was starting to dampen the denim.
Anger blanketing his worry, Alec thundered, "What was that?!" his eyes searing into Dean's, demanding an answer, some valid reason for the illogical tactic.
"Dean, hey, you alright?" Sam worriedly asked, finally reaching his brother and dropping to Dean's other side.
"I'm fine, few scratches," Dean brazenly announced, cocky smirk in place as his eyes met Sam's. "Did you see the great white hunter in action, Sam?" he proudly taunted, eyes slipping back to Alec.
Trying to get his heart from pounding out of his chest after seeing Dean go down under the creature's weight and ferocity, Sam gave a weak smile but there was gratitude in his eyes as he looked also to Alec. "Yeah, pretty impressive."
Frustrated by the two men's nonchalant attitude to Dean's foolhardy actions, not to mention his bloody wounds, Alec incredulously asked, "Have you two finally lost it?!" his look swiveling between the two brothers. "Maybe you haven't been paying attention but you both almost got mauled to death."
"Nah, we had things under control. Had it right where we wanted it," Dean sallied back, one side of his lips turned up in a smirk.
"Yeah, I can see that," Alec snapped back, fisting his hand in Dean's shirt an instant before he pulled the wounded man onto his shoulder and stood up.
"Hey, put me down!" Dean snarled as he found himself draped over Alec's shoulder, unprepared for the transgenic's action let alone the quickness of it.
Instead of retorting to Dean's order, Alec reached down, hooked a hand under Sam's arm and pulled him to his feet. "Let's move out," he ordered, supporting Sam even as he pulled him forward and tightening his grip on Dean's legs when the older man pushed on his back in a vain effort to facilitate his release.
"I can walk!" Dean protested, railing at the vulnerability he felt at being carried, of not being in control. Pushing again at Alec's back to lift himself upward, he winced as the claw wounds on his chest pulled.
Retreating back under the guise of 'fun loving, carefree Alec', Alec said, "As amusing as it would be to let you two invalids take a couple of hours to stumble back to the car, I've got places to be."
Appreciating Alec's sturdy strength aiding him, not to mention carrying his too stubborn brother's wounded carcass, Sam shot Alec a bewildering look. "What places?"
"Out of here," Alec replied, eyes ahead, calculating the distance, the time it would take to reach the Impala. Knowing that Dean's injuries weren't life threatening and Sam's limp was most likely due to just a twisted ankle didn't dampen the fear, the outrage that was still coursing through him. His overheard conversation rang through his head with more clarity.
"I'm sick of your kamikaze routine, Dean."
"I'm more like a Ninja."
"Oh right, you're the man that has nothing to lose."
Though he didn't know what had prompted Dean's recklessness, Alec had finally seen it in action with his own eyes and it hiked the anger he was struggling to quell.
"You want to tell me what you thought you were doing? Setting yourself up for bait…without Sam and I there for backup," he asked, his voice pitched carefree but Sam saw that Alec's jaw was clenched. And it was a gesture Sam had seen on Dean when his restraint on his emotions was nearing its boiling point.
"Getting the job done," Dean mumbled back. Resigned to his fate, he had left his head settle between Alec's shoulder blades, let himself relax in the unfailing strength of the transgenic. He knew a losing battle when he faced one.
"Right, the job," Alec glibly seemed to agree before he sarcastically goaded, "I must have forgotten to read the roster, on the 'Sacrificial lamb sign up form'. Was today your turn? And what, Sam's is next hunt and mine's the next. Just the other day I was thinking how I wanted to brush up on my medic-tech training and now I can."
"I can take care of myself," Dean heatedly declared, even as his vulnerable position over Alec's shoulders belied his statement.
"Back in Manticore, before my solo missions, I lead a unit. And my commanding officers always told me that the soldiers under my command were only tools, mine to use and expend anyway I chose, that the only thing I should concern myself with was making sure the mission was successful. Is that what you're telling me too, Dean? That Sam and I should just write you off as expendable as long as the "hunt" is successful? What about Sam, is he expendable, too?" Alec calmly challenged, knew how Dean would react when Sam was added into the equation.
"No!" Dean nearly shouted, hands fisting in the back of Alec's shirt, railing against that notion with every fiber in his being, remembering too sharply the sight of Sam in his arms, limp, lifeless, gone from him.
"Well you're not expendable either, Dean," Alec forcefully declared, eyes skimming to Sam's, seeing the same declaration in his eyes. "Not to Sam and not to me. Guess that's why Sam jumped in front of a three hundred pound creature trying to stop it from charging you. Guess that's why I snapped its neck, took its life with such satisfaction. You might want to figure our reactions into your calculations the next time you want to find some creative way to get yourself wasted."
"I wasn't…"Dean started to deny but Alec cut him off.
"Yeah, you were," Alec accused, his tone unyielding. Shifting his grip on his precious cargo laying over his shoulder and flexing his fingers tightly around Sam's arm, he desperately sought to link Dean and Sam to him. Was frustrated that his genetic enhancements hadn't given him enough of an edge to keep them safe. Wished that he knew how to mend what was broken between the brothers even as he wondered when these two men had come to mean more to him than his own life.
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There was no anger in Alec's touch as he poured holy water into Dean's wounds. With regret and apology, he rested his hand on Dean's hip, felt Dean stiffen as the antiseptic burned upon contact with the open wounds. He used gentle ministrations as he bandaged the wounds on Dean's chest and wrapped his legs, his eyes flickering to Dean's time and time again, but found, not anger but sorrow in the green depths. They did speak, none of the occupants of the room broke the oppressive silence. It almost made Alec yearn for the weird calls and screaming that had echoed in his cell on the lower level of Manticore during his punishment period.
Wordlessly holding out a glass of water and a pain pill to Dean, Alec nearly protested when Dean only took the water, took a few swallows and then placed the glass on the night stand. Instead he sat there on the side of the bed and meekly watched Dean roll to his side, turn his back to him, shut him out. Easing from the bed, hoping to not shift the mattress too badly under the injured man, Alec looked to Sam, saw the pinched look on the other man's face as he stared at his brother's back and Alec knew the expression didn't have a thing to do with his twisted ankle.
Crossing over to Sam, Alec hooked a chair from the kitchen table and sat it down beside Sam's. Sinking into the seat, he bent down and carefully pulled the man's injured leg up onto his lap. When his probing fingers elicited a wince from Sam but didn't uncover any evidence of serious damage, he began wrapping an ace bandage around the swelling ankle. But he purposefully didn't meet Sam's eyes, wondered if Sam thought he had crossed the line, talking to Dean as he had, insinuating that he could lump his concern with his.
Sam's quiet call of his name had Alec's eyes flying to Sam's, hope and dread mixing in him.
"Alec, thanks. For …everything," Sam reverently said, wished he dared say more, that he could express to Alec just how much it meant to him that he had saved Dean, that he had tried to put a dent in his brother's 'I'm already dead/you've got to let me go/you'll be fine without me Sammy' armor. But by the look in Alec's eyes and by the nod of his head, he knew that Alec understood his unspoken sentiments, knew how deep and broad his gratitude was. Understood maybe a little more what Sam was going through everyday as he watched Dean distance himself, risk himself, pretend that his life wasn't precious. And it lessened some of the terrible crushing weight in Sam's chest to know someone else was fighting to keep Dean safe, was angered by Dean's recklessness, that someone else was raging against Dean leaving him. That Alec would rage against Dean leaving them.
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TBC?
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I did warn you about the angst right? But some of you wanted Sam angst and this was the next part I had almost already completed so it seemed like perfect timing to douse the sap with inner turmoil.
Ok, next chapter crosses the threshold into plot line and will deal with DA issues. Any takers? If I continue, it will be the point of no return for me as a writer because I make it a rule to finish my stories. (I can't believe I'm actually actively writing/posting 2 stories right now! These warring muses are a messy thing to deal with?!)
Thanks so much for reading and for all the unexpected but oh so wonderful support for this AU crossover. It's really been so much fun writing and even more fun posting and getting your reactions!
Have a wonderful Day!
Cheryl W.
