A/N I know, I am the worst updater ever. I probably had this story on hiatus for about a month! Ugh, shoot me now. On the bright side, I have this story figured out. I know how I want it to end and everything.

Anyways, here is chapter four! : )

Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek.


I hated lying to Derek. I told him everything was fine; that nobody bothered me… including the hockey team. He merely raised an eyebrow while I walked off numbly, leaving him rather confused.

Well, at least I thought he was confused. He didn't look to convinced by my lame story. I really don't blame him, though, since I was lying in the first place! But what other choice did I have? The last thing I wanted was for those two boys to go and post that terrible video of me.

I really need to relax and figure this all out….

I stepped inside my bedroom and slowly closed the door behind me while I sighed to myself. This isn't suppose to be happening like this. I'm not suppose to be hiding everything from everyone I love! I'm usually so mature and sensible; who the hell am I?

The real Casey wouldn't even say, 'hell'…. She would use the words, 'heck', or, 'world'.

You know what, I really need to calm down because if I don't, my homework will more than likely suffer from all this.

Turning on my heel, I walked towards my bed and gently sat on the side of it. My hands lamely rested on my lap as I tried desperately to relax. I tried to think about little things, like my favorite show. But who can do that when you have something as dreadful as I have planned this weekend.

Trying not to think at all this time, I gently fell backwards onto my bed. But as I laid there, I noticed something odd; was that bear I was smelling? I rolled over onto my stomach and inhaled my blankets hesitantly. Oh, they reeked with alcohol….

Just the smell of it brings back terrible memories…

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"Will you calm down, I am trying to throw a party here," Derek said annoyingly as he rummaged through a stack of cds'. He was sitting on the floor next to the fireplace while I stood before him.

"Derek! You threw I party without my knowledge, how am I suppose to relax?!" I exclaimed, and even though he couldn't see me, I rolled my eyes at him.

He grumbled something under his breath before he said, "You can relax by shutting up."

"I am relaxed!" I shouted while flaring my arms out in all different directions.

Derek slowly left the floor and faced me. "I can see that," He responded sarcastically. "But seriously," he put his hands on my shoulder before he continued, "you need to leave."

Derek than whirled me around and gave me a rough push so that I stumbled away from him and into a group of people. Since I didn't know them and they obviously didn't know me, I ended up getting yelled at. One of them, a guy who looked to be around 21, laughed in my face and said, "Hey, watch where you're going, schoolgirl."

His breath smelled of alcohol and something else I couldn't distinguish. But I tried my best to keep my composure and not let him effect me. I couldn't let anyone effect me. I had to stay strong and level-headed.

Unfortunately, that all would be ruined in a matter of minutes.

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I tore my blankets away from my mattress and threw them to the floor; there was no way I was going to sleep on something that smelled like puke and bear.

when I was about to gather up all my blankets, I faintly heard the phone ringing from downstairs.

"I'll get it!" I called out to Derek. I could almost feel him rolling his eyes at me from in his own bedroom.

I quickly darted down the stairs and raced into the kitchen. The phone was still ringing so I was able to pick it up in time.

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Hi, honey! It's mom!"

My face lit up and I smiled widely. Just the sound of her voice made me feel more relaxed. "Hi, mom! How are you? Are you having fun in New York?"

I could slightly hear Edwin laughing in the background and somebody else, probably George, scoffing at him.

"… Yeah, we all had a wonderful time… Everyone except George," Mom glumly replied.

"Oh, mom, what happened?"

I could hear Edwin laughing harder this time, earning him an even louder scoff.

"…Oh, you see, it's a long story but…" she stopped herself for a moment before continuing, "George and I decided to go out to this amazing night club while the kids were at a hotel, but things didn't turn out so smoothly."

"And?" I signaled for her to continue.

"When we arrived to the night club, George decided he wanted to impress me by break dancing," Mom finished flatly.

"He sprang his thumb, didn't he?" I asked her in a deadpanned voice.

"Derek told you?"

"Yeah…"

"I thought he did…" There was a long pause before she asked, "So, did Derek and you throw any parties while we were gone?"

I could tell from the tone in her voice that she was trying to be funny, but that question really made my heart sink. The phone slowly slid away from my ear and rested on my shoulder. Now I have to do the unintelligent thing and lie to her.

"Casey, are you still there?"

I put the phone back up to my ear and tried to act as though I wasn't about to say something that was a complete and total lie.

"No, mom, Derek didn't throw a party this time." I was smiling but my voice was as numb as ever. This was probably the biggest lie I had ever told her.

I could hear her laugh into the phone. "Well, okay… Anyways, we'll be back at around six or seven."

I cleared my throat and forced myself not to break down and cry. "I guess I'll see you than," I said with another fake smile.

"Buy, honey."

Once I heard the line go dead I couldn't hold it in any longer. The tears finally escaped my eyes and fell down my cheeks, my bottom lip trembled since I was still trying to calm down.

Stupid alcohol, stupid party, stupid me, stupid Derek--

"Hey, are you okay?"

I looked up to see Derek standing near the kitchen's sliding doors, his eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly quivering. I wiped the tears from my eyes quickly and tried my best to act as though nothing had ever happened.

"Were you crying?" Derek asked as he walked into the kitchen completely. His eyes never left mine as he passed by me slowly.

I put the phone down with a loud clank and turned around to face Derek, who was now digging into the fridge like a hungry animal.

"No, Derek, I was not crying," I said with a steady tone.

He pulled out a left over bowl of spaghetti and sat it down on the kitchen table before saying, "good, cause' you know I don't do tears."

Okay, now I couldn't hold it in any longer. "Derek! I had to lie to my mother, okay?" I walked up to him and pushed him back a little. "I had to lie to everyone, really! Do you know how hard that is for me?" Now I was fully crying, but that didn't stop me from continuing. "It's easy for you to lie; you have no conscious…. But I do! Okay, Derek!"

He didn't say anything, really; all he did was stare at me with the most stupidest expression on his face.

"Casey, look…" Derek finally began, He took a few steps backwards and resting his hands on the kitchen counter before he asked, "can't you just pretend like nothing had ever happened that night?"

Pretend like nothing had ever happened that night? Was he out of his mind?!

"It's little hard to do that when I have so many reminders thrown into my face!" I yelled at him. I took a few steps forward and stood next to him.

"Name one reminder," Derek said coolly while raising an eyebrow. "Because I don't see any," He added quickly.

Oh, that was an easy one!

I pursed my lips together and inched my face closer to his; I wanted to make sure I had his full attention. "You," I bitterly replied.

His eyes went wide and he looked at me seriously. "Me? What do I have to do with this?"

"You kissed me!" I shouted at him.

"Excuse me, princess," He started while using an nickname I greatly despise, "but I believe you kissed me!" He finished furiously.

It was true; he didn't kiss me, I kissed him… I knew that very well, but I also knew something else.

"Yeah, well, you kissed me back!" I retorted while poking him in the rib cage.

He grabbed my finger and threw it down. The feeling of his hand on mine made me shiver slightly, but I bit my lip and ignored it.

"It was a reflex!" He hollered into my face, making me jump slightly.

"Oh, really? Because you seemed to be enjoying it from what I remember!"

Derek's expression turned more relaxed and his hand shut up to his mouth in mockery. "Casey, Casey, Casey, I didn't enjoy anything… Actually, I spent the whole night rinsing my mouth out with Listerine."

A sarcastic and evil smirk spread across my face. "Funny… I did the exact same thing this morning." I bitterly lied.

Suddenly all of the color washed away from his face and his mouth dropped open. I thought he was going to apologize by the way he was looking at me.

But of course, I was wrong.

"Nice to know you feel the same as I do about this." Derek spat out. The signature smirk spread across his face like clockwork which made my blood boil even more.

Derek walked past me, bumping his shoulder into mine as he left. I turned around slowly and watched him strut over to the stairs.

"Well, just so you know…." I began loudly.

Derek came to a sudden halt and turned on his heel while his hands rested on his hips with too much sureness. He looked at me lazily before saying, "What?"

I walked out of the kitchen so that I could be face to face with him. "I just wanted to let you know that I hate you just as much as you hate me," I finished. I looked serious, but I wasn't. I wasn't being serious one bit.

"Thanks." Derek said cynically. He sounded sarcastic but I wasn't sure. Why would he want to be sarcastic in the first place?

I shoved him forcefully out of my way before I darted up the stairs. He kept his eyes on me the whole entire time I was walking up the steps.

"You know! I'm not even ashamed that I got drunk Derek," I said loudly as I marched up the stairs. "I'm ashamed that I kissed you!" I finished saying this after I slammed my bedroom door shut.

This was probably one of the worst fights I had ever endured with Derek. Usually we would yell over stupid things like the remote or the bathroom, but not this time. This time we argued over are feeling for each other.

I plopped down onto my computer chair and spun myself around so that I could face my window. Maybe I was a little too harsh down there. Maybe I shouldn't have yelled at him like that. But I couldn't help it, I was stressed out and upset over everything. I had to take it out on someone. Derek just happened to be that person.

I could faintly hear Derek's footsteps pass my bedroom door and drift out of earshot. I second later his door slammed shut and his stereo turned on.

Derek always listens to heavy rock music when he's upset.

"This is perfect, Casey. You've managed to hurt Derek and your life." I said out loud to myself. "What's next?"


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