Voldo is LONELY: Chapter 3

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Disclaimer: SC characters do not belong to me!

WARNING: May contain some shounen-ai themes (if that happens. Dunno.) And reading this might tone your brain down a notch.

One more note: ... I THINK VOLDO IS CUTE! I'm so weird! I suddenly think that this creepy dude is actually cute in a way! Like teddy-bear cute! Geez, the charms of a 50 year old handicap...

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"Hey, what's this thing in his room?"

"Don't touch it, you don't know where it's been."

"Oh come on, it doesn't look like he 'dirtied' it or anything..."

"Well, I warned ya, so don't come crying to me if --"

"It's a diary!"

"What?"

Yunsung and Maxi had been rummaging through Voldo's room, while the others 'took care of him'. Maxi opened the diary to reveal neat cursive writings along with cute kitties and bunnies he had drawn in the book. Yunsung made a face.

"I didn't know he'd be that kind of person," he said. But he urged Maxi to read.

"Okay, this one's from January 18th..." said the pointy-browed man.

"Dear Diary,

Voldo has been called creepy by stinky Raphael today. That no matter, because today was Voldo's special day. No diary; it not my birthday. It was something better. Today Voldo went shopping for new threads and found a neat red outfit with a golden jockstrap. Voldo decided it would give protection and style so Voldo bought it right away.

It hard being sexy. Voldo saw a bunny running in the snow. Voldo tried to catch it, but failed miserably. At dinner time, stinky Raphael called me creepy again. Why does Raphael keep making Voldo sad?"

Yunsung scratched his head a little as he replied, "Geez, Raphael is a real jerk to him if he kept calling Voldo creepy since January... Read his most recent entry."

So Maxi obeyed, and flipped to the most recent entry. "This one's from two weeks ago..."

"Dear Diary,

Voldo finished reading Card Captors. Voldo wishes he was magical girl like Sakura. A magical pretty girl like Sakura. Voldo then watched some Sailor Moon, and enjoyed it greatly. Voldo's favourite character is Sailor Venus because Sailor Venus is pretty with long hair and it's yellow. Voldo likes yellow. Voldo likes yellow hair.

Voldo might be gay oh well. Voldo is asexual afterall hehe. Voldo likes anything that moves on two feet. Voldo has secret crush on Siegfried! Shhhh! Don't tell Diary!

Anyway, Voldo had some thinking that maybe Voldo should find someone. The more Voldo thinks about it, the more Voldo gets sadder. Voldo has a very small fanbase. Not many girls like Voldo because apparently, Voldo is creepy, gross, and inhuman.

Voldo went to a jock strap store and bought a spiky jockstrap. Voldo thought he would look bad-ass, but then he hurt himself when he accidentally put it on the wrong way, oh well."

The two grimaced, as they put the book down. "Yeah, enough reading..."

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"Guys, what should we do? Voldo just KILLED Yoshimitsu!!" panicked Talim.

"Whose bright idea was it anyway for Voldo to rip off the poor guy's face?" asked Mitsurugi.

All eyes turned on Seung-Mina as she laughed a little and then died down, "Hey, I didn't predict that coming, okay?!"

"Well Yoshimitsu is dead now! What can we do?" asked Kilik.

Link tapped his chin a little as he pondered about the situation. He then wrote something on a piece of paper and handed it to Kilik.

"'Bury Yoshimitsu and forget all about it'?" read aloud Kilik. He crumpled the paper and tossed it to the elf's head, "That's a stupid idea."

Link shrugged as he chugged some milk.

"Guys! We have to consider Voldo's feelings here!" said Astaroth, putting a hand on his hip in a girlish position. "He probably feels betrayed and even lonelier!"

"Astaroth, quit your girl talk!" snapped Mitsurugi. "It's not like you to act this way! And it's creepy how you're the only one who seems to understand this situation!"

"It's not MY fault that I know the secrets to true love!" said the big muscled man.

"Astaroth is right; we need to consider Voldo's feelings too, or else he'll end up ripping everyone's faces off..." spoke up Raphael.

"Well, what can we do? This is a tough situation..." sighed Talim.

"... First of all, we can let Voldo out of the freezer," said Mitsurugi as he looked at Voldo who pounded at the freezer's door.

"You know he's placed there for a very good reason," hissed Seung-Mina, "it's for the safety of everyone!"

"The poor guy looks like he's going to freeze to death," said Raphael sympathetically. Everyone stared at Raphael's change in attitude. He quickly recovered his original attitude, coughing, and finally replying, "Not that... uhh... I care..."

"He's right, we're gonna kill Voldo this way. Just let him out."

So Mitsurugi walked over to the freezer door and opened it, with Voldo rolling like a wheel out of the frigid wonderland, with everyone screaming at his creepy performance! Then he twirled like a coin and landed on his sides. Shivering, paralyzed in his position.

"Oh GOD! We froze him!" cried Talim.

Link poked into Voldo's side, and Voldo slowly hissed as if air was being let out by a balloon.

"Someone grab a freaking blanket..." said Seung-Mina as she shook her head.

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"And, and, he has a secret crush on you!!" squealed Maxi in a very non-Maxi way.

"God damn," cringed the runaway. Siegfried stood up to run away again, but Yunsung made him sit back down.

"Siegfried, don't you see? If you be Voldo's boyfriend, then Voldo would stop chasing all of us! Think of it; you'd be saving all our lives!" said the red-headed Asian.

"... I don't know..." said the blonde-haired warrior.

"Do it!!" said Maxi.

"I really don't know..."

"Come on! If you're with Voldo, you can just... let it go!"

"Let... it... go?"

"Yeah! Let the belly take it's way out! Eat all the bonbons and chocolates you want! It wouldn't matter, since you have someone."

Siegfried took a moment to imagine a lifestyle with Voldo if the two were married...

"Voldo, honey! I'm home!" said the over-weight Siegfried as he sat down on the couch and let out a huge relaxed sigh. He punched a beer open and ripped his suit off to reveal a dirty muscle shirt that was getting too small for his big belly and blue striped boxers. He let his double chin hang loose as he turned on the tube.

"Voldo miss his hubby!" said Voldo in his pink floral apron and lipstick over his mask. He batted his imaginary eyelashes at him.

"Yeah, yeah... beer me."

"B-but Sieggy has beer already..."

"I said BEER ME woman!"

"... Voldo will obey."

And the house-wife Voldo wormed away to fetch another beer for Siegfried.

Siegfired cringed again. "Well... it DOES sound a little tempting..."

"That's it Siegfried! Think about how glorious it would be!"

"Yeeeaaaah... I'll sleep on it," sighed the German.

Maxi and Yunsung high-fived, low-fived, and back and around. Then over at the counter, then over by the fridge, and then back to where they started.

"W-wow. I never imagined us doing something like that," said the Korean man.

"Me neither," said Maxi. The two walked away in different directions, pretending that had never happened.

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HAHA! I hope you liked that! I had fun with it, most definately!

Please don't bash me because of Siegfried's imagination! It was just for pure fun, once again. I love Siegfried as much as I love every other hot guy in there! (Especially Voldo now! I'm starting to like my Astaroth too...)

I found myself laughing with my sister so hard!! I hope you enjoyed it as much as we did!