Author's note: This chapter takes place after the team's cooking lesson at Rossi's, at the end of Proof (S7E02). As always I don't own Criminal Minds.
After dinner, Rossi put on some music and provided a lot of bottles of wine. This was going well. He'd thought Reid wasn't going to show, but eventually he did, and now he and JJ were loading the dishwasher together. Normally Rossi would tell them not to bother – they were guests and that was his job, but he didn't want to interrupt them. He'd just keep the party lubricated with plenty of wine and music, and have fun and relax with his family around him.
Hotch couldn't take his eyes off of Emily as she danced with Garcia. Even when Garcia dramatically grabbed her in a waltz-hold and started dancing her around the patio to a tempo completely unrelated to the music playing, as hilarious as the image was, she was so beautiful, and her smile so radiant, that he found himself just gazing at her.
"This is going well," Rossi said suddenly from his side, startling him.
"God Dave, where the hell did you come from?"
"Stealth is my middle name." Rossi refilled Hotch's wine, which had been nowhere near empty, and leaned against the wall alongside him. "It's good to have her back," he said, shooting a sidelong glance at Hotch.
"Yeah," he said, more softly than he'd have liked. If he wanted to keep his mask on he'd have to slow down with the wine.
"Aaron…"
"I know," Hotch said quickly, suprising himself. "I know we can't."
Rossi raised his eyebrows. "I don't recall saying anything about can't." They looked back at the patio, where Morgan and Emily were now slow-dancing. "I think it's worth exploring, don't you?"
Reid and JJ appeared from inside and Garcia immediately grabbed their wine glasses from their hands and said, "Here, you guys dance! I'll hold your wine. Go go go."
Reid looked startled but JJ laughed and took his hand, leading him into a free space and draping her arms around his neck. "Relax," she said. "Nobody can dance, really."
"Morgan can," he replied, nodding over to Emily and Morgan swaying gently.
JJ laughed. Then she felt Spencer's arms pull her closer and she abandoned all pretence of dancing and just hugged him hard. "I'm glad you came. I'm so sorry," she said quietly, her breath tickling his ear. "I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry…" She thought about his admission that he'd considered taking dilaudid again and felt sick.
He held her close, forcibly reminded of the nights he'd cried in her arms. He tried to push the memories back, to remember why he'd come tonight. "JJ, I'm sorry too." He sighed. "I know you didn't have a choice. I know you'd never have let Emily go if there was any other choice, and neither would Hotch. I just…" He trailed off and she loosened her grip a little to step back and look him in the eyes. He met and held her gaze easily for the first time in what felt like forever. "I trusted you and I thought there was nothing you could ever do to betray that… And you did. I know that you had to. And that changes it a little… But it still feels the same, you know?"
She nodded, tears filling her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said again.
"No, it's okay. You don't need to apologise any more. I'm sorry I've been so… Unpleasant…" He dropped his gaze again, and pulled her in closer. "I just want you to understand why this is so difficult. And JJ… I'm sorry for throwing the dilaudid thing at you. I'm… An addict. It was a hard time. You wouldn't have been responsible if -"
"Spence," she said quietly, hugging him and starting to dance as a lump formed in her throat. "It's okay. You didn't. You did good."
He nodded, trying to lift the cloud in his brain and just dance with her.
Emily smiled, resting her head against Morgan's shoulder as they danced.
"Hey, Em," he said.
"Mm?"
"It's good to have you back." He tightened his hold around her, so they were in more of a gently-swaying hug than anything else.
"It's good to be back," she replied. "This is nice." She fought to let herself stay in the moment, but as soon as the song finished she had to apologise. "Morgan…"
"Emily it's okay," he said firmly, immediately.
"No. Listen. Derek, you… You saved my life. And you had to spend all that time believing that you hadn't. You spent months chasing him, risking your job to avenge a death that never…" She shook her head and looked up at him. "I'm so sorry. And thank you for caring so much."
He smiled, kissed her cheek and said, "Really. It's okay."
And then Hotch appeared at his side. "May I have this dance?" he asked, looking at Emily, eyes smouldering.
Morgan winked at Emily, said, "Sure thing boss," and went off to find Garcia.
Hotch couldn't help it. He knew this was probably a bad idea. He'd promised himself he was going to give her some time before he told her he… Had feelings for her. And she was so radiant and he was a little hazy from the wine Dave had kept refilling. But if he had to tell her soon because he didn't want to lose an opportunity, then who was he to turn down the opportunity to dance with the most beautiful woman in the world?
Emily took his hand, and he let the other rest on the soft curve of her waist as they started to dance. He couldn't take his eyes off hers, looking back at him with wide-eyed not-quite-innocence. She was thinking a lot of things. Hotch can dance? And, Of course such a perfect gentleman can dance. And, I never want to stop looking at those eyes. And, God I want to kiss him. And, I need to give him time. His hand felt good on her waist and his eyes were so intense it took a lot of concentration to stop herself from pressing her lips to his.
Wordlessly, he pulled her a little closer, moving his hand to the small of her back. She bit her lip to stop herself from saying all the things she wasn't supposed to say yet and wrapped her arms around his neck. He held her close, still dancing, thinking that if this song never ended he could stay like this forever.
Garcia spotted Emily and JJ as soon as she arrived at the coffee shop, and wasted no time when she sat down with them. "You and boss man were looking pretty cosy last night," she said, turning to Emily with a wicked grin on her face, the second they'd ordered their coffees.
Emily cursed her blushing face as she looked determinedly at the table and said, "I don't know what you're talking about."
The silence made her look up and she laughed as she saw JJ and Garcia just staring at her, matching expressions of eyebrows-raised disbelief. She rolled her eyes. "Okay, I mean, I'm not going to pretend like he's not an attractive guy -"
"And totally hot for you," Garcia added, nodding and leaning forward eagerly.
Emily glared at her. "- but it's not… I'm…" She sighed as her friends just stared at her, waiting to beat down all of her excuses. "I mean it guys. I just came back. He thought he'd never see me again. Now isn't the time to start…"
"Not even a little date?" JJ coaxed.
Emily shook her head ruefully. "JJ. We work together. Fraternisation. Rules. Regulations. He's my boss. If we're going to do anything – and I'm not saying we are," she added, as Penelope grinned gleefully, "- then it has to be… Something we've thought hard about. It's too big a deal for a whim, you know?"
"And is this a whim?" JJ said. "Are you telling me what you feel now is a fleeting attraction and you've never experienced such feelings for Aaron Hotchner in the past?"
"Because it's not like you've had a big fat crush on him since forever," Penelope added. "Not like you were the only person who could get him to poke his head out of his giant protective turtle shell even for a second after Foyet. Not like you've been sneaking in casual touches and watching out for him for – oh, you know – years."
Emily sighed. "Okay, so it's been a while," she admitted. "But I don't know how he feels about me. And now is not the time to do anything about it."
"We know how he feels about you," JJ said, sitting back to give the waitress space to put the coffees they'd ordered on the table. "Or at least we have a good idea." Emily met her eyes, looking apprehensive. "Come on, Em… You saw him last night."
"He was drunk."
"He was tipsy. And all that means is he took his goddamn stoic nothing-affects-me mask off for an evening. And the way he was looking at you…"
"I know," Emily said, almost inaudibly.
"Then ask him out for god's sake," Penelope said, rolling her eyes theatrically.
Emily sighed. "So JJ. How's Henry?"
Hope you liked it. I feel like we'll be diverging from working around canon pretty soon – knew I wouldn't last. Reviews would be lovely please!
