"Let me get this straight Mr. Lupin… you want me to do what exactly?" Professor Dumbledore asked Remus, who was seated directly across him.

"Mr. Dumbledore, James and Lily need to get together and fast. I can't handle this pressure any longer!" Remus exclaimed, popping several lemon drops in his mouth, eyes twitching.

"I can see that Mr. Lupin, you seem… stressed." Dumbledore stated, raising his eyebrows, staring down the young student.

"You have no idea! Sirius faked an attempted suicide! I haven't seen Peter in days. I'm writing more extra credit papers than I can handle, and I'm not enjoying it! Professor Dumbledore! I love extra credit papers!" Remus screamed, randomly spitting lemon drops out with every statement.

Dumbledore's eyes widen a bit, realizing Remus' trouble. "So, plan Stag and Bitch isn't going very well?"

Remus gasped. The symbol for all things good had just cursed. "Professor, hush your tongue!"

Dumbledore chuckled. "I'm just repeating the name Mr. Black gave it. And I agree Mr. Lupin, it is highly inappropriate. But I expect no less from your comrade."

Remus just stared blankly at the professor. This plan was taking its mental toll on the young man.

"Well Mr. Lupin, I think I may be able to help. However, you must do something for me in exchange."

Remus' eyes grew large with glee. "Thank you Professor! Thank you! Anything, I'll do anything to get this over with!"

If only he knew what he was in for…

-

Remus sulked into Transfiguration, late. He sat down slowly and slumped into his seat. He pulled out his three foot long parchment, unfinished.

Professor McGonagall dropped the book she was holding. Her eyes widened. Her mouth was askew, shock clearly written on her face. "Mr. Lupin! You're…you're late! Oh dear Merlin! Your homework is…incomplete!" She exclaimed in horror.

Remus twitched. It took every once of energy in his body to speak. "Yes professor. My homework isn't done, nor do I plan on finishing it." He had to spit the last statement out.

"Mr. Lupin! Are you alright?! Please tell me you're not feeling well."

"I'm one hundred percent well professor."

"No, no Mr. Lupin! There must be something wrong! You're my best student. My shining star! You're future is so bright. Mr. Lupin, what is wrong with you?!"

Remus bowed his head in shame. "I didn't want to do the assignment professor."

For the second time this week Professor McGonagall was rushed to the Hospital Wing. It would seem 'Operation Stag and Bitch' was not only affecting the Marauders, but their teachers as well.

-

"Sirius, I cannot stand this any longer. I haven't completed a single assignment this week!"

Remus and Sirius were lounging in the Common Room together as they normally did. It was empty once again, everyone else taking their apparition tests. Remus and Sirius, being the oldest in their class, had passed months ago.

"Remus, get a grip! The headmaster told you not to do your homework for awhile! Rejoice! This is the greatest thing to ever happen to a Marauder. If only it were me…"

"THIS IS THE GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME?! Sirius, have you lost your bloody mind?! My excellent grades are my most prized possession in life. This is the worst thing to ever happen, ever."

"Remus, stop complaining, now!"

"Don't tell me what to do!"

"I can tell you what to do if I want to Remus!"

"No you can't."

"Yes I can Remus."

"No you can't, Sirius."

"Remus Lupin."

"Sirius bloody Black."

"Remus, get off the damn window ledge!"

"No."

"For Merlin's sake Remus! Stop it!"

"You don't understand!" Remus whined. "I'm not doing my homework! I'm not paying attention in class! Damnit Sirius, I have awful bloody grades! I HAVE BAD GRADES! This is the last straw! I'm jumping and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it! Not you, not anyone. Goodbye cruel world."

"Remus! What on earth are you doing?!"

"Elizabeth!" Remus and Sirius both said at the same moment.

"Remus, honey, please get off the ledge. Whatever is the matter, I'm sure we can work it out, I'm here for you. Truly I am. I'm here for you, let's talk this out. Please, please get down." Elizabeth pleaded with Remus.

"Well… I suppose… if you promise to help… I could step down?" Remus said, slowing moving off the window. "You just won't understand. My life is horrible!"

"No, Remus, it's not! You've got tons of people who care for you, you've got your family, and you've got your amazing grades!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

Remus let out a sob at the mention of his grades. He began to get back on the window ledge.

Elizabeth jumped up on the ledge with Remus. "Don't do this Remus. If you jump, I jump. Do you want to be responsible for my death?"

"No." Remus grumbled.

"I didn't think so."

They both stepped off the ledge. "Let's go get some pumpkin juice from the kitchens and a bite to eat. We'll talk things out Remus."

With that they left the room leaving a dumbfound Sirius.

"Why does this feel so familiar? It's kind of like déjà vu."

He shrugged his shoulder and sat down on the window ledge. He scratched his head, trying to figure out exactly why this felt so familiar. No one ever said Sirius was a smart one…

-

Yes. I know. This is basically last chapter with some words changed. I admit it; I have horrid writer's block. Next chapter something will actually happen, promise.