I'm going to make this a quick Author's Note. I want to get down to writing very quickly. Anyway, thanks a TON for the people who have reviewed. I really appreciate what you have to say and criticism is always welcome.
And people, PLEASE tell me if I should change POVs! I really need the answer because I have a lot of good ideas for both Beck's and Jade's POVs. But Cat's POV is like second-nature to me, so please…help me!
By the way, check out my poll on my profile. Or wherever my poll may be, 'cause I can't find it. It will help me decide the ending of the story a ton.
Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.
CPOV-
He sighs and pushes you away after a moment, the unhappy thoughts about him and Jade trickling back into your mind as soon as you leave his warm embrace.
"Cat, what's wrong with you? These past few days…you haven't really been yourself." He pauses to look at you, but you refuse to meet his gaze. You think that separating yourself from him now would be better to just cut him off completely in the days to come.
"Why are you like this? You won't answer my texts, or Jade's, too. You had a freak attack on me the other day. You wouldn't even tell me why you were upset and you had your mom basically shove me out the door. She never shoves me out the door! She loves me!"
You can tell he's trying to make you laugh, or at the least, smile. But you can't muster up any sign of happiness. As soon as his arms extracted from around your small body, it's like they drained your life and took it with them.
"Cat, please tell me why you're shutting me out like this!" You duck your head and stay silent, trying to be strong. Hadn't your mom always said don't talk to strangers? And Beck was a stranger now; he was an adult – a dirty, infested, mature adult. And to you, adults were big strangers. He pleads with you again to let him know what was bothering you, and it's the look of pain and sorrow and confusion in his eyes that make your guard crack.
"You're not my Beck anymore!" you snap, you voice rising an octave, making the room echo with the shrill sound.
He freezes from his position of kneeling in front of you. You finally look at him, observing his furrowed brow and lined forehead. He doesn't get it.
"What?" he breaths.
"You-you aren't the innocent boy I liked to play with. You do grown up things, even though you and I both know that I'm still laughing at cartoons and sleeping with stuffed animals. You forgot me down here, in Kid Kingdom, and you don't even care. And now I don't have my best friend to play with me; I'm by myself."
He doesn't say anything again, his eyes gazing at you with a glassy sheen to them. But you continue
"So, I'm sorry, Beck," you say fiercely. "I'm sorry for shutting you out and ignoring you and screaming at you when you're near. But that's what I do with people I don't know. With strangers. And right now, Beck, you're a stranger to me."
Your breathing is heavy, your chest rising and falling rapidly. The room suddenly gets too hot for you and you need to leave it – now. Otherwise you just might throw up and faint all over again. You slide off of the bed, carefully stepping around the frozen form of a shocked Beck. You're half way to the door when something closes around your wrist.
You turn quickly to yank free of his grip, but he's too strong.
"I don't want to talk to you, Beck!' you say loudly, hoping the nurse would hear you.
"Please, Cat…" he starts in a whisper so low, you almost don't hear him. His tone makes you stop your struggling. It's one of deepest hurt, and it makes your heart ache. Why?
Because he's your best friend.
The room starts to tilt when he drags you close to him. You struggle again, but it's a feeble attempt. You can see the cold and emptiness in his eyes, and a small part of you wants to hug him and comfort him. He usually looked like this whenever you saw him after he had had a fight with Jade. But there's something behind these lifeless emotions, something you can only describe as passion.
And then he bends over quickly, his lips descending onto yours before you can even get another look at him.
Your body goes into shock as he kisses you fiercely. At first, your lips are frozen against his, not sure of what just happened or what you're supposed to do. And then the regular instinct kicks in: to kiss back. You move your lips against his in a harmony that could only be made by the two of you. How long have you dreamt about this? And now it's finally happening. It's a long lingering kiss, one that's maybe meant for the One Hundredth Day traditional kiss in the dark with no one around. But you're fully aware of the nurse just in the other room, and the small glass window in the door, allowing anyone who stepped in front of it directly to get a clear shot of you and Beck massaging each other's lips with your own.
You're not quite finished when he pulls away, releasing your bottom lip from between his. You can't help but frown, even though the picture of a seething Jade swims into your view every few seconds. There's a zillion thoughts racing through your mind, but you decide on one.
"Why?" you whisper after a long stretch of deep breathing from the both of you.
He takes a long time before he answers you, but you wish he didn't answer you at all.
"I knew there was no way you would listen to me instead."
You don't look up at him as you gently touch your lips with the tips of your fingers. He breathes heavily for a few more minutes, but your breathing is as quiet as a soft breeze. The high you experienced while kissing Beck is long gone now, thanks to the words he spoke.
"Cat-"
"Do you love me?" you interrupt. Your gaze remains locked on the grey carpet with the turquoise zigzags as you impatiently await his much-needed answer.
"I…I – I don't know."
"Because of Jade?"
You know the answer just by seeing the hurt in his eyes while he thought about cheating on Jade with you. He's ashamed for what he did.
"Cat, I love her…"
"I know," you whisper.
"You have to understand that. Please, Cat."
"I understand clearly, Beck."
He inhales deeply, then exhales, running a hand through his thick hair.
"But Cat, I'll always be your best friend. Please remember that."
You shake your head.
"No…no, Beck. We can't be best friends. You're too different from me."
He grabs your wrists again and gives you a little shake. His tone his soft and gentle when he speaks to you.
"You don't get it, Cat. That's why we're such good friends; we're different. Have you ever heard the saying 'Opposites attract'?"
You nod slowly, a small wave of dejavu washing over you quickly, then retreating back into the depths of your mind without a trace that it had been there before.
"Well, that's how we work. How can you not see it, Cat?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" you ask loudly and shrilly.
He shushes you and covers your mouth with his hand. "It just means," he begins, "that I'm the…mature one, and you're the immature one. Or the fun one," he adds, coaxing your chin up with his hand.
You look at him for a few moments, then step away.
"Cat," he whispers, his eyes closing. You shake your head rapidly, hair rippling with the motion of it, some falling into your face and shielding you from the boy – man – you're falling for so fast.
"You'll always be one step ahead of me. And that's not how my kind of friendship goes, Beck."
You step backwards until your back is against the door. Your hand blindly searches for the handle, and when you've grasped it tightly, you give him the smallest, shyest, and saddest of smiles that you can offer. He finally opens his eyes and stares you down, eyes moving back and forth between your eyes and the hand holding the door handle tightly.
"Cat, you don't understand-"
"I do understand, Beck. Really. It's just…you left me. And you're not on Cloud 9 anymore; you're millions of clouds above me. And you wanna know the worst part?" You give a shaky laugh. "I'm falling from Cloud 9."
You force the handle down and pull the door open, leaving the room, leaving Beck. And you don't look back.
Because he's your ex-best friend.
Ahhh! Cliffhanger – again! Sorry about that. And yes, I did say this chapter would be longer, but I have decided to divide it into two parts. I changed something in this chapter and it really affected the second half of it. So, I hope that the next part will be posted tomorrow, but I have so much work to do! Seriously!
There's this one model that got sick and I am supposed to find a replacement for her. Me. We have a runway show THIS WEEKEND. How am I supposed to find someone by this weekend? Don't ask me how; I'm working on it.
But we don't want to listen to my personal life so back to the story. Yes, if it's not posted tomorrow, it will be posted this upcoming Monday or Tuesday, so please remember to review while I'm gone and feel free to give ideas. They are always considered! Thanks for reviewing, by the way, to those who have.
Thanks!
-TeamSwiss737
