A/N : Sorry for this late chapter. I was having problem figuring out how to do this chapter. This took a lot longer than I expected and harder than I thought. Anyway since I'm so happy since my favorite artist new album just came out, I'm going to make Shepard remember a little bit about Liara. I hope you guys enjoy the new chapter.


Chapter 4 : Figuring It Out

After her medical evaluation, Shepard couldn't bother to know if she fit for duty or not as she just simply storm of the hospital as soon as she's done. Shepard head straight home before she send her best friend an email asking her to come meet her. Shepard decided to wait for her best friend near the small lake around her house. As she sits on the bench overlooking the small lake, Shepard let her mind wonder. She didn't even realize how many minutes pass by and the next thing she knew is her best friend already sitting next to her.

"I got your email. What the urgent? You didn't pass your medical examination?" asked Maddison as she settling in next to Shepard.

"I don't know…" answered Shepard as her eyes gaze the small lake in front of her like it will give her the answers she's been asking in her head.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I storm out of the hospital as soon as I'm done. I'm not even bothered to wait for the result."

"So why did you call me here?" asked Maddison as she not even bother to ask her best friend why she just storm out of the hospital.

"I need you to give me some answers. I need you to be honest with me."

"If it's regarding the last few years of your life, there's some I can and I can't tell you."

"Please Maddison. I need to figure out why I feel the way I feel right now."

"What did you feel?"

"In my head, Matt is still the love of my life. I don't know why we even decided to chose our careers ahead of our love. On the other hand, every time I spend time with Liara, I have this feeling that I could not just described. A feeling I never feel before. It felt stronger than a feeling when you're in love."

"What did you remember?"

"Since our last session? Nothing."

"You know brain is still something that confuses every single being in the galaxy. You thought by 21st century, we already figure out the brain but it stills something we just couldn't fully understand it… The brain is a funny thing. They have their own defense mechanism that will protect you by hiding some of your memories. But you never know if you will ever be able to remember that memories again."

"Your point is?"

"My point is your brain can hide all the feelings they want but they couldn't lie your heart on how you feel before. Those emotions we felt tend to stay with you for the rest of your life... Subconsciously you remembered her."

"And again, what is your point?"

"Don't you see? Your heart or actually subconsciously you remembered something that your brain still decided to hide. I can't believe you still can't connect all the dots."

"You mean?"

"Why do you think Liara stay here a lot longer than your other crew members? Why do you think she'd the first person you saw once you open your eyes?"

"But… She's pregnant."

"She's what? This is why I shouldn't say anything."

"You think… The baby…"

"Listen to me, Grace. First of all you cannot over think this. You have made great progress on recovering your memories. Now all you need is to find that one magic moment before you remember everything."

"I need to go see her." said Shepard as she tried to get up before being stopped.

"So you can tell her what? That you think you're the father of her baby but you still didn't remember a single thing about what you two had? You're going to hurt her more than comfort her."

"Then what am I supposed to do?!"

"Just live your life. You're going back to work next week and let just focus on that first. You need to figure it out. What you feel towards Liara and how you feel about Matt. Once you figure out both of the feelings, you can do whatever you want. But before that pretend like you didn't forget the last few years of your life. You need to feel sure about your feeling first, Grace. I can tell you whatever you want to know but I couldn't return your memories. Telling and remembering is two different things."

Shepard couldn't say anything to argue with her best friend because she knew, Maddison is right. There's nothing she could do except trying to figure out her feelings and remembering the last few years of her life.


Liara is back on Thessia with Aethyta. For the whole ride on the shuttle, Liara didn't say a word. Actually she didn't say a single thing ever since she got back from her 'date' with Shepard. Aethyta couldn't get her to tell her anything when she saw her daughter bawling her eyes out ever since she got back from meeting with Shepard.

For Liara, all the hope she kept ever since Shepard woke up and didn't remember the last few years, are all gone. There's no more hope in Liara eyes that the love of her life is going to remember her. When she first saw Shepard again after Cerberus rebuilt her, when she touched Shepard, she could sense that Shepard still love her. But now, she couldn't feel that anymore. Even there is that glimpse of love Shepard had for her, it's in the shadow behind Shepard feeling towards Matt.

Liara thought having Shepard alive even if she didn't remember her will be better than having Shepard die again. But there's no worst feeling that Liara could feel right now that knowing the love of her life may never remember her again and is in love with someone else. All Liara have of Shepard is the baby inside of her but even then Liara don't know if she could look at her daughter without remembering Shepard… The love she had with Shepard.


Shepard has been clear for duty and the Alliance has assigned her aboard the Normandy. Before reporting for duty, Shepard has agreed to meet with Matt at a park near where the Normandy dock. When she arrived, Matt is already waiting for her.

"Hey, Grace." greet Matt as she saw Shepard before plant a kiss on her cheek.

"Hey, Matt. I can't be here long."

"I know. Thank you for finding a time to meet though… It's been awhile since I saw you in your uniform."

"When you called, it sounded serious."

"I'm sorry if it made you worry but I really need to meet you… You never answered me when I asked you to give us another chance. I know that we kiss but I know it wasn't your answer either. I really want to make us work. I'm willing to sacrifice my career if that's mean you will be with me. I have no problem of you staying in the Alliance."

"What about your career?"

"As long as I work at a hospital or a clinic, I will be fine. As long as I have you." said Matt as he takes a small box out of his pocket.

"I bought this ring for you and I don't want anyone else to wear it. You don't have to give me the answer right away, all I need is you to think about it." add Matt as he open the small box and revealing a beautiful diamond ring.

"Matt…"

"No. Don't give me any excuse. Just take this ring and think about it. Please, Grace. I know you still feel the same way towards me. I still love you Grace and there's no one else that could take my heart the way you do."

"The last few years of my life are still vague in my mind. I think there is someone else and I couldn't give you an answer until I remember everything."

"I will be waiting for you, as long as you need to figure it out. I'm not going anywhere."


After the war, the Normandy has been ground side to do some repairs among other thing. It's back on duty a few weeks ago with Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams acting as Commanding Officer. Most of the crew has stay aboard the Normandy only just a few lower ranking crew has been assigned to new duty aboard other ships.

"Welcome back, Commander." greet EDI through the Normandy speaker.

Despite what the Catalyst told Shepard, EDI, the Geth or the AI in general were not destroyed. They were some malfunction here and there but nothing that couldn't be repair. The same goes to the Mass Relay and the Citadel.

"Thank you, EDI." replied Shepard as she's head towards the bridge.

"Commander, it's nice to see you again. It's not the same having Ashley in charge." said Joker as he turn around the chair he sitting so he will be facing Shepard.

"It's good to be back." said Shepard with a smile before she's starting heading to the CIC.

"Commander." greet Traynor as Shepard stop beside her.

"Specialist Traynor. It's good to see you decided to stay aboard the Normandy. I'm surprised."

"I take it you remember me, Commander? Well what can I say, you rub off on me."

"Yes. I remember most of the things now."

"That's good to know, Commander."

After talking with Traynor, Shepard took the elevator to her cabin. She knew if there are any clues regarding her relationship with Liara, it had to be in her cabin. That is if the Alliance didn't move anything from her cabin. After the elevator door open, Shepard rushed towards her cabin door and after unlocking it she could see Ashley already waiting for her.

"Good to see you again, Skipper. I thought you were bailing on us."

"Me? Never. What are you doing here, Ash?"

"Just making sure the Alliance didn't move anything from your cabin. I make it clear that no one can touch anything in your cabin. I know that you will come up here to find clues."

"How do you know?"

"Dr. Sinclair told me. Listen Skipper, I don't know if anything in the cabin can help you remember Liara, but something in your apartment on the Citadel, may help you."

"Thank you, Ash." said Shepard as Ashley excuse herself and exit the Captain cabin.

Shepard look around the cabin and her fish clearly well feed by the aquarium VI she installed. Now that's money well spent, thought Shepard. Shepard then looks at collections of ships and she knew no one touch it. It's funny how she could remember where each of her collections of ships at but she can't remember other thing like who really is Liara T'Soni. Shepard then took a look at her space hamster cage. It surprised her how her hamster didn't run away like the last time.

After making sure her hamster is alright, Shepard approach her desk where a frame is. As she got close, a picture of Liara was shown on the frame. Shepard took the frame and look at the picture of Liara.

"I'm sorry, Liara. If you are the love of my life, I will remember you." promise Shepard in her heart.


After the Normandy arrived on the Citadel, Shepard was called to the council chamber alongside Ashley. Each councilor are alive as they were not on the Citadel when the Reapers seized the Citadel. But Councilor Sparatus were replaced by Councilor Quentius who are less hostile.

"Commander Shepard. On behalf of other councils, I want to say thank you for everything you did to defeat the Reapers." said Councilor Tevos.

"The reason we have you and Lieutenant Commander Williams here is to discuss with you two regarding the new human councilor." said Councilor Valern.

"The Alliance has sent two names who they think will do great as the new human councilor since Captain Anderson has turned down the offer to re-join the council." said Councilor Quentius.

"It's Admiral Steven Hackett and Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard. Both of them you know very well, Commander Shepard." add Councilor Tevos.

"But we have agreed to have you as the new human councilor, Commander Shepard. If you are willing." said Councilor Quentius.

"I'm humble by your offer but I will be respectfully turn it down. I think I'm done playing politician, for now. Whoever you choose for the seat, both are great soldier and leader. They will do human proud. But knowing Admiral Hackett, I will be very surprise if he agrees to join the council. It won't be easy for him to left his Fifth Fleet." said Shepard.

"What about you, Lieutenant Commander Williams?" asked Councilor Tevos.

"Commander Shepard knows both Admiral Hackett and Rear Admiral Shepard better than I do. But I agree with Commander Shepard, either way you couldn't do wrong." answered Ashley.

"Very well then. We will discuss more with the Alliance regarding the new human councilor. That would be all. Thank you for meeting us, Commander Shepard, Lieutenant Commander Williams." said Councilor Tevos.

"Well what I want to know is why the Alliance is yet to promote you, Shepard. You should be a Captain or Admiral by now." asked Ashley as they leave the council chamber.

"They are going to hold my promotion until I remember everything that happened on the Citadel.

"That is full of crap, Shepard."

"I really don't care, Ash. What I want right now is to remember the last few years of my life."

"You're going to your apartment, Shepard?"

"Yes. You can go back aboard the Normandy. Tell Joker to prepare for departure. As soon as I'm done looking around the apartment, we are going straight to Palaven."

"Roger that, Shepard." said Ashley as she headed towards docking bay D24.

After taking sky car to Silversun Strip, Shepard took the elevator up to her apartment that Anderson gave her in the hope of finding some clues regarding her relationship with Liara. After what people are telling her, she surprised to see her apartment or the Citadel for that matter of fact are still like it was before the war. Maybe the Reapers are more focus on stopping her than harvesting people on the Citadel. Thought Shepard as she take a look around the apartment.

There isn't much Shepard found in the apartment that could help her. Shepard then decided to turn on the TV near the bar when the first thing she saw was a picture of her and the rest of the crew. Shepard saw how in the picture she was looking at Liara and Liara was looking at her. That wasn't just any look, but a look of love. After transferring the picture to her datapad, Shepard started walking back to the front door when something lured her to the piano.

Shepard learned how to play keyboard when she was 10 years old or so but just for a few lessons and she doubt she remembered any of her lessons. But for some reason she just wanted to go near the piano. As she got closer, Shepard playfully playing a few keys before she's having a flashback.

*Glyph play a song on the piano*

"Shepard, I…"

Shepard immediately grab Liara arm as she was about to walk away from her.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure you don't run off to something more important."

"I can't imagine what that would be."

"We should do this more often."

"Yes, well. Maybe after…"

"Every day after."


A/N : I'm sorry for this super late and short chapter. But I can't think of better idea of finishing this chapter than having Shepard remember something about Liara. And I sort of finished this in a cliffhanger cause what that would mean? Did she finally remember Liara or it will complicate things? You are going to get the answer in chapter 5 and yes, I'm true to my promise because Shepard is going to remember everything in chapter 5. But not without some problems that are going to happen. So I think next chapter is going to be a lot longer and probably the longest chapter. Mostly this chapter is to give you more pieces of the puzzles and also to tell you that Shepard is trying to figure out her feeling towards Matt and Liara.