-Chapter 3-


Herman sighed, slinging his hat and jacket into his locker at the station. The day's investigation had been particularly stressful, between a jewelry store owner who claimed to recognize him, the too-calm older sister of said jewelry store owner, Sai making lewd gestures throughout the whole examination and interrogation process, and a band of juvenile delinquents who decided to run around in Speedos and cause calls of indecency and one call for said delinquents to be executed.

God, he missed the days when he was one of those juvenile delinquents. But that was then, and now, he had no time to waste reminiscing. Off came the heavy boots and blue uniform trousers, and on came the faded cargos and the canvas sneakers. Running his fingers through his hair in a habitual act of weariness, he exited the locker room and weaved through the cubicles to the front desk by the double door entrance.

"Hey Sherman," his deskmate called.

"Dammit, Kiba, for the last time, it's Herman."

"Sherman, German, it's all the same," Kiba replied, leaning back in his desk chair.

"Maybe in your dog-brain," the slim blonde secretary scoffed. "How else would you mix up a name and a nationality?"

"How do you know I wasn't referring to a language, Ino?" Kiba retorted. "Anyway, maybe some of us are more concerned about the important things than others." He looked pointedly at Ino's vibrating cellphone.

"Dammit, it's my fiancé. I gotta take this call," Ino scowled, checking the caller ID. Her tone and facial expression changed abruptly as she answered the phone. "Hey sweetie, how are you doing?"

"Women." Kiba rolled his eyes. "But seriously, Naruto, why go by a fake name?"

Naruto shrugged, pulling off the nametag that read "Herman" and placing it next to the desk nameplate that said "Uzumaki Naruto."

"Some of the kids recognize me by that name but otherwise won't look past the nametag and the ID," Naruto explained. "Anyway, Kiba, do we have any new leads?"

Kiba nodded, fishing out a manila folder from the stacks on his side of the desk. "Some kid claimed he saw a red-headed burglar, turned out it was one of his older brother's friends playing a prank. An old lady said she was looking for her cat and then she spotted a beautiful woman in a long jacket with long, straight black hair, but it was such a shame she had such a masculine voice."

"Looks like a female, sounds like a male—that could be any hippie and their chain-smoking mother," Naruto retorted.

"Yeah, but pale, slim, long black hair, tall, and with some speech impediment that made him hiss like her cat? I think this could really be a legitimate lead!" Kiba insisted.

"Oh, and Naruto—"

"Not now, Ino, I'm trying to explain to the mutt that just because an old lady saw some transvestite, the world isn't going to end."

"Are you brushing me off for work?" the secretary exclaimed, feigning hurt. "After all these years of 'Ino write this paper for me' and 'Ino distract me so I can't do that project' and now you're ignoring me for work!"

"Put a sock in it, Yamanaka," Kiba grunted. "Your voice is giving me a headache."

"Just shut up, both of you," Naruto groaned.

"Kiba is right, for once," Ino said, tone serious. "There aren't many who can fit that description. I think you need a break, clear your mind. You're becoming really cynical."

"Until I reach Shikamaru level, I haven't hit rock bottom," Naruto responded, ignoring Ino's shout at the perceived slight to her fiancé's character.

"I think you've gone past Sai level," Kiba commented.

Naruto grimaced. "Whatever. Is there anything life-shatteringly important I need to know or can I leave already and sleep?"

Ino sobered up immediately. "Yes, actually, there was one person who came in asking for Herman. She—"

"Ino, you know I'm not interested in anyone at the moment, especially some random girl," Naruto muttered, walking slowly toward the exit. "Is there anything with actual significance?" he called, not turning around.

"She was wearing a trench coat and a hat," Ino continued stolidly.

"Great. A prostitute, then."

"And there was pink under that hat." Naruto stopped dead in his tracks. "She said she knew 'Whirlwind' would need help tracking down 'Princess' and 'Bark'. Now does it sound important?"

"Fuck," Naruto breathed. "Now of all times?"

"You need to go. Get all your stuff, she said she'd be at the corner of Kaze and Aka," Ino instructed. Naruto bolted for the locker room and soon returned with a backpack and his coat. "Kiba and I will cover for you."

"Are you sure?" Naruto asked in surprise and concern.

"Yeah man, we know how important this is for you. Now hurry up and get a move on. Duty is calling, Herman," Kiba grinned, tossing a long and slim package at his friend. "Think of this as an early birthday present and don't open it until you're with the girl."

"Thanks, guys," Naruto said sincerely. Then he turned and quickly strode out the double doors.

"God, I hope he finds them," Ino said.

"Me too, Ino, me too," Kiba agreed, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder as they stared at the doors, hoping beyond all hope that their friend would succeed.