December 25th.
Angela took one last look at herself in the mirror. A stupid pink bow topped her head and caused her hair to bunch upward into an awkward looking Fleur-de-lis. She wore an equally insipid pink knee-high dress that Geneva had managed to find at the Goodwill.
"Angela, quit dawdling." Geneva called from downstairs. "We've got to pick up Grandma Lou and you have to be at the Manior's by noon."
Don't remind me. She thought.
Angela glowered as she descended with all the joyfulness of an inmate on their way to the electric chair. Christmas time was normally her favorite time of the year, on account of, well, it's Christmas! But rather than open gifts, gorge herself silly, and spend time with her beloved Grandma Lou, Angela would play guest at Chateau Manior vainly making peace with Nanette.
"Angela. Where is Nanette's Christmas gift?" said Geneva.
"Umm…I thought I gave it to you for safe keeping."
"No!" She responded sharply. "I explicitly told you to keep it someplace where you'd remember it."
"Oh well, I guess she doesn't get a Christmas this year." Angela responded sing-songily.
As Angela obfuscated against her parents frustrated attempts to smarten her up, Lulu bounded down the stairs inquisitively. In her hand she held out a card
"Mommy?" Lulu began. "What's a 'Biggie-net'?"
"Lulu, sweetheart, I have no idea what you're talking about right now." Geneva said frustrated.
"Santa left a 'Biggie-Net There Done That' card under my pillow!" Lulu shouted. "He's not supposed to leave things under pillows, that's the tooth fairy's job!"
"No honey it's pronounced 'bin-yay'. Beignet There Done That." William chuckled. "They're a French dessert made from…"
Bill and Geneva looked at each other and went quiet. Slowly their heads turned towards Angela. Angela pursed her lips together and looked at Lulu angrily before turning down at her feet.
"Lulu, whose name is on that card?" asked Geneva.
"My name." she responded. "But it's written in red. There's the name of that mean girl Angela keeps talking about in blue, but Santa must have scribbled it out. Gee, she must have been awful bad."
"Nice try Little Missy." said William taking the card back from Lulu. "Now wipe that scowl off your face and straighten up. You have nobody but yourself to blame for this."
Before long Angela found herself packed in the backseat of the car like a sardine next to Lulu, Mark and Derek. She looked glumly out the window and thought of how much she'd miss seeing Grandma Lou this year. Her stories have become more exciting, on account of her pet alligator Barney growing larger and frightening off unwanted guests.
Nanette walks up to Grandma Lou's house on the Florida bayou and rings the doorbell. But instead of Angela answering the door, Barney flashes a toothy grin at the frightened French girl and winks before opening his mouth and acquainting her with his world famous razor sharp pearly whites.
As Nanette runs off screaming and falls into the water, we cut to Angela and Grandma Lou lounging on the deck of the house overlooking the river. Both raise their bottles of sarsaparilla as the sound of Nanette's terrified yelps fade into nothing.
"Well Angela, we're here."
Angela stepped out of the car and closed the door, barely a second passed before the car zoomed off into the distance and left her standing in front of the pink and imposing Manior house. Hurt stirred in Angela's insides as she watched the car disappear over the horizon. It was one thing to know her parents were ok with this, but it was quite another to experience them peeling off without her. Not even a final goodbye, they just went.
Angela made her way up to the Manior's mansion. The doorbell chimed "La Marseilles" and the flaccid security camera rapidly whirred to life.
"What Who-Oh, William's daughter. Come in." Mr. Manior's voice buzzed through the box.
The door opened to reveal the Manior family standing together on the grand stairwell in their capacious foyer. Angela looked at father Howell, mother Bunny, daughter Nanette and even Ooh-La-La II, the family poodle; their eyes screwed up with hate for her very presence.
"Well, entre vou, maintenant." Said Nanette dully. "Which is French for, 'quit wasting time on our doorstep.'"
Angela shuffled in quietly closing the door behind her.
"Alfredo, we'll be having tea in the drawing room." Bunny hollered. "Make sure you let us know when dinner is ready."
The awkwardness continued for Angela throughout the day as she and the Maniors sipped tea.
"So, um Angela." Said Howell disinterestedly. "Your father have any more million dollar gizmos he needs funding. Or will they be another dud like…oh what one was it?"
"Food Rejuvenator 3000." Angela grumbled.
"Ah yes." Bunny interjected condescendingly. "The Food Rejuvenator 3000, how's he doing feeding the world with that one?"
"The world?" Said Howell. "Poor man can barely feed his family selling those ceramic dancing pigs."
Nanette looked down at the floor as her parents chortled over Mr. Anaconda's lot in life. Suddenly her phone began to vibrate. Nanette pulled her phone from her pocket and read Angela's message.
I KNOW you put your folks up to this. If you think I'm losing my cool to you here, think again.
I'm just as disgusted by this as you are.
"Nanette Dear," said Bunny. "Who was that?"
"Oh, Just Karlene." Nanette quipped. "She sent me a picture of this tres adorable fur hat she got for Christmas."
"And Geneva." Howell continued musingly. "I bet that she's just itching for another commission from us?"
"Not exactly," said Angela. "On account of the Tapwater House loved the statue she did of Nanette all those years ago. They have it topping the fountain she was asked to make for them."
"Oh. That wretched thing." Said Bunny disgustedly. "Don't get me wrong it's a statue of our Nanette, but it came out so terribly. They paid $500 too much for that thing."
"-and blew God knows how much more on that commode that dares to call itself a fountain." Howell piped up.
"Oh well, with four children and a failed inventor for a husband, I guess a little charity can't hurt Geneva." Bunny Cackled.
Nanette felt sick, just like she did when Angela's scarf was ruined. She didn't show it but listening to her parents tear the girl she loved to shreds put her in a world of hurt. Nanette's grumbling stomach and hunched physique broke Howell and Bunny out of their chortling.
"Oh dearie, you must be famished." Bunny said concernedly.
"Alfredo. Where are we on dinner plans?" Howell asked.
"Yes sir," the family manservant replied. "I took the liberty of bringing up some Chateau Margaux and preparing that Luxury Caviar Sampler gift basket the LeCreme's sent you. Just something light, since you and the Missus are out for the evening."
"Excellent." Said Howell. "I was wondering what we were going to do with that basket."
"Caviar." Angela whined. "But that's fish eggs."
"Oh look, she can be taught." Bunny quipped.
Although enough caviar had been laid out to put sturgeon on the endangered species list, all Angela could do was stare down in revulsion at the five caviar coated crackers laid out before her, taking the occasional nibble. As she swallowed her second mouthful, her eyes looked up at the Maniors as they prepared more for themselves.
"Angela," said Nanette concernedly. "You haven't touched your plate. Is something wrong?"
"I'm not all that hungry." The auburn haired one replied disgustedly.
"Oh, don't fret." Bunny said to her daughter reassuringly. "Angela's poverty stricken palate isn't refined enough to appreciate tonight's meal."
Nanette looked down at her plate and back at her guest's scowling face. For the rest of dinner, it felt like the wrath emanating from Angela's eyes was boring through her body like a high-powered laser.
Before anyone knew it, it was time for Howell and Bunny to leave for their Christmas Gala. They bid their daughter Au Revoir and set out for the night. The dynamic then changed when the front door closed and the lock clicked shut.
"Alfredo." Nanette called.
"Yes Miss Manior?"
"You can have the rest of the day off, tomorrow too. Spend it with your family." Said Nanette. "If you'd like to take some Caviar, help yourself."
Angela looked up from her barely touched plate and gawked. Nanette of all people deigned to let her trusted servant go? How could such a thing be possible?
"Well then, Feliz Navidad. Which is Spanish for Merry Christmas." And with that Alfredo was gone.
"Well, well," mumbled Angela. "Your beloved butler has flown the coop. What about dishes, will your oh-so-soft-and-delicate skin shrivel up on account of the dishwater?"
"Maybe." Said Nanette hesitantly. "Besides you're not part of the clean plate club on account of you not touching your dinner."
"I guess my 'poverty stricken palate' just can't appreciate the finer-."
"I see." Said Nanette picking up her cellphone. "And I would hate to see you starve. Hello Abatti's Pizza…"
Angela's day, now night, at the Manior house took a complete 180 after that phone call. Nanette had ordered two pies and a bottle of Birch Beer for Angela and proceeded to give the dishes a superficial washing. With the table cleared, Nanette offered Angela some champagne (which she refused) and took a deep breath after pouring herself a glass.
"Angela. I know that this…dinner wasn't how either of us hoped to spend our holidays." She said hesitantly. "You more than anything want to be with your Grandmother Louise and I…well…anyway, I hope that this can-"
Once again the familiar chords of "La Marseilles" broke the conversation.
"Oh that's your pizza." Said Nanette.
"I got it." Said Angela.
From the little security camera by the threshold, Angela saw Johnny dressed dapperly holding the order.
"Hey Angela, what are you doing picking up Nanette's order?" He asked.
"She ordered it on account of me not starving." Angela replied. "It's weird, her parents left and she start's being nice to me. Ordering me pizza and giving her butler the rest of the day off."
Johnny grunted in shock.
"Meanwhile, I heard the Pralines are having dinner with you guys, how is that going?"
"Oh Angela, you and John are letting in the cold." Said Nanette sweetly. "Give him my regards and come back in."
"I didn't do nutthin." He said defensively.
Angela paid Johnny and came back to Nanette's kitchen. After helping herself to two slices and a glass of soda, she braced towards the dining room where Nanette had just finished placing a large box on the table.
"Oh, you're about to eat?" Nanette asked. "I was just getting ready to give you your gift."
"That's… that's ok." Said Angela biting into the crust of her pizza. "I have my gift for you before you start asking for it."
Nanette took the envelope from Angela's fingers. She ignored the pizza-grease thumbprint and ripped open the flap.
"Oh, Angela." She replied sweetly. "$30 to Beignet There Done That. Thank you. I love this place."
Angela shrugged and said nothing. Her part of the deal was done as far as she was concerned.
"And now for you." Said Nanette brandishing a box.
Angela felt floored, then suspicious. She carefully took the box from Nanette's hands and began to slowly undo the ribbon. Once the box had been formally opened, Angela found herself running her fingers through a very soft and luxurious piece of cloth. Inch by inch, she pulled an orange scarf slowly out of the box.
"Joyeux Noel Angela Anaconda." Said Nanette.
Angela's heart stopped as she looked at Nanette. Her eyes went wide, and her body stiffened up. Those two words, Joyeux Noel rang around her brain like a bell. Thoughts of that first Christmas flashed through her head. In little black-and-white bursts. The box. The card.
"Please put it on." Nanette insisted. "I want to see what you look like in it."
Angela did as she was asked while puzzling over this weird emotion on Nanette's face; for the first time in forever, there was no trace of malice or haughtiness, just this beautiful smile that made her whole face shine. Something in Angela felt weak seeing this side of Nanette. Her stomach knotted like a pretzel and her heart felt all a-flutter. A warm feeling began to envelope Angela, as if she had been dipped into a pot of warm chocolate.
"NO."
Suddenly Angela threw down the scarf.
"I know what this is!" she shouted. "I know how this is going to end. You'll keep this charade up during break, maybe for the next two weeks afterwards for Ms. Klump if I'm lucky. But I know the real you Nanette 'I-think-I'm-French-but-really-not' Manior: you'll just going to go back and tormenting me, Gina, Johnny, Gordy, Josephine and everyone else. This scarf you gave me, you'll just snap your fingers and send those skanks will rip it to shreds again. Oh, don't think I can see past your smiles and niceties on account of they weren't even there to begin with. Now I'm going home, back to my mom and dad, to Mark and Derek, to Lulu and my Grandmother. I'm sure you'll get a hefty refund for the scarf."
"SO GO ALREADY!" Snapped Nanette with equal ferocity. "SCRAM! GET OUT! FREEZE! WALK HOME! I WON'T STOP YOU, MY PARENTS AND ALFREDO WON'T STOP YOU! AND MS KLUMP SURELY WON'T STOP YOU EITHER! DAMMIT ANGELA ANACONDA YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME I'VE BEEN AN ASSHOLE TO YOU BECAUSE I KNOW! I'M MORE THAN AWARE! AND I'M SORRY!"
Nanette took a deep shaking breath and hopelessly looked into Angela's eyes in an effort to keep from sobbing. She failed; her beautiful blue eyes began to tear up, then close altogether. She hung her head and whispered quietly.
"I just don't know what more I can do to make this right."
