A/N: Hey Guys! I'm so sorry for updating way late. Life has just caught up with me and left me stumped also I've been having a hard time deciding the direction of where I want to take this chapter and this story in general. Anyways, here is the next chapter. I'm a bit rusty so please let me know what you guys think!

CHAPTER 4

As soon as Jane gets to Maura's home in Beacon Hill, she pays the driver and jumps out of the cab.

Jogging to Maura's front door, preoccupied with her thoughts she doesn't notice the other car parked in front of Maura's home. Once in front of the door she takes a moment to recollect her thoughts before she knocks.

Come on Rizzoli. You got this. You just have to get her to listen to you. Keep it calm. Avoid another slap. This is the woman you love and while you never want to give up on her and you main goal is to make this woman yours, you can't continue to let her keep hurting you and blaming you so if she turns you down again and puts you through the ringer then, well at least you tried. Last chance.

After she gathers her thoughts she knocks on the door. A few seconds later a beautiful Maura Isles answers the door with a polite smile. After seeing who is knocking at her door that smile automatically turns into a glare.

"Can I help you, Detective Rizzoli?" Says Maura as soon as she realizes it's Jane.

"I need to talk to you Maura, please. Give me one last chance to explain and if you want me gone then I'll leave you alone and play by your terms" Jane replies while nervously playing with the scars on her hands.

Maura notices Jane's usual nervous habit and her face softens a little bit, but still has a glare on her face.

"I'm busy." Maura replies.

"Please Maura give me ten minutes" Jane begs.

Maura just looks at her for a few seconds before another voice enters the conversation.

"Maura, is everything okay?" A handsome man in a button up shirt and slacks says while he walks up behind her to see who is at the door.

Jane just looks at him and Maura shocked, hurt, and confused.

When the man realizes that Maura and the other woman aren't going to say anything he introduces himself to Jane.

"Hi, I'm Brian." Then adds when he realizes Maura isn't going to elaborate. "Maura's date for the evening."

Jane doesn't share the introduction. She just stands there rubbing the back of her neck lost in her thoughts.

Well what the fuck. I tell her I love her, that I'm in love with her and here she is on a fucking date. Fuck this is so fucked up. And here I am standing like an idiot while Maura looks at me curiously. I gotta get out of here.

"Uhm, I'm sorry for the intrusion but do you think you could give me and Dr. Isles a few minutes. It won't be long." Jane says coldly.

Maura looks a bit taken aback at the change of tone from Jane, but recovers quickly putting back the stony look she's become accustomed to using when it comes to Jane.

"I'll be inside in a minute Brian." She says as she's closing the door to give her and Jane some privacy on the porch.

As soon as Maura is on the porch she watches Jane pace for a minute before speaking up.

"What do you want Jane?" Maura says exasperated.

"What ever happened to Detective Rizzoli?" Jane says with a bite in her voice.

Maura just looks at her unphased.

"What do you want Jane?" Maura repeats.

"What do I want?" Jane replies after a minute of just looking at Maura and takes a step closer to her. "I want my fucking best friend back. I want you to love me back. I want you to not hate me. I want you to not be on a fucking date right now." Jane takes a break to recollect her thoughts.

Maura just looks at her waiting for her to continue.

"What the fuck are you doing Maura?" Jane just looks at her. "You're really on a date right now? After I confessed all of my feelings to you earlier and you're on a fucking date!" Jane says after a few seconds. "I fucking love you Maura, I'm IN love with you, but I guess that's not good enough for you or else you wouldn't be on this date."

Maura tries to say something but is stopped by Jane.

"I'm sorry for shooting your father. I was trying to protect you, me, and Frost. But you can't please everyone." Jane exhales then continues. "I don't know what else to say to you other than I'm sorry and I love you. And this whole not talking to each other and you being mad at me is killing me."

Maura waits for her to finish and then thinks over what Jane says.

She loves me. She's IN love with me. But she shot my father. She betrayed and hurt me. I just need to think and keep her at a distance. But I do miss her terribly. Jesus Jane, why did you have to shoot my father and then express your feelings.

After a minute of silence and a staring match, Maura finally speaks.

"Jane I don't know what to say. You betrayed me and hurt me, and now on top of it all you have admitted to having feelings for me." Maura says exhausted but with a bite in her voice. "I can't believe you've decided to admit your feelings now. We're going through this whole situation and you think that by you admitting your feelings, that I'm just going to drop everything and forgive you!"

"Mau-" Jane tries to say something but is interrupted by Maura.

"No Jane, I'm talking right now." Maura interrupts. "I did love you Jane, but I wish you didn't admit your feelings like this. I've been waiting for the day when you would say something but I never expected it to be like this." Maura exhales. "I'm tired of fighting with you, but I can't trust you or forgive you."

Jane just nods while tears are streaming down her face.

Maura notices the tears and regrets not admitting to her current feelings for the detective.

"I'm sorry Maura. I truly am. Just remember I love you. I'll always be here for you." Jane says as she steps up to Maura and gives her a long kiss on the forehead.

Maura feels tears coming out of her eyes as she feels the tender kiss Jane leaves on her forehead.

"I'll leave you to your date." Jane says as she starts walking off Maura's porch.

Maura just nods and watches Jane walk down the street.

As Jane is walking down the street she is lost in her thoughts.

That didn't go as bad as I thought it would. It was pretty calm. But damn. She was on a fucking date. That's pretty fucked up. Oh well. At least she admitted that she used to have feelings for me. Jane lets out a sob at that particular thought. Past tense. FUCK. I tried maybe one day she'll come around but I need to keep busy and rebuild my walls. Can't get hurt and I have to make sure something like this never happens again.

After Jane is out of sight, Maura finally goes inside to her date. As soon as she's inside Brian is behind her since she hasn't turned from the door yet.

"Are you okay?" Brian asks when Maura doesn't face him.

"I'm sorry Brian but I just need to be alone. Can you please leave." Maura replies after a few seconds of silence.

Brian looks a little disappointed but grabs his coat and leaves.

As soon as he's gone Maura locks the door and heads up to her room to change and get ready for a long night of no sleep with her thoughts.

Maybe one day Jane and I can try to be more, but that day isn't today or anytime soon. We can't build a relationship on me not trusting her and Jane is stupid for thinking that I would forgive her as soon as she admitted her feelings.

Maura sighs and just looks up at her dark ceiling until she finally falls asleep.

Hey guys! Tell me what you think. I don't feel like I did a great job on this chapter but I wanted to give you guys something.

I'm unsure as to which direction I want to take this story. Suggestions welcome. I have a bunch of thoughts but they're super jumbled.

Anyways, let me know what you guys think!