AN: I'm not too happy with this chapter, but I feel as if I just had to get it out of the way so that I could move on to something else. Hopefully I'll be inspired to update soon. Stay tuned. Thanks for the reviews!

Chapter 4: The Plump Platypus

Fuck you, your drunk
And acting tough
I know you're sad
You're not the only one who feels like that now.
- We Will Still Need a Song by Hawksley Workman

"So, I was talking to Emily on the phone today," Kim says to me. We're lounging on the couch, my body extended out the entire length, with my feet dangling over at the end. Kim is curled up next to me, her back to the couch. Her head is resting on my chest and her protruding stomach is pressed up against the side of my torso. One of her legs is hitched over my thighs. My right hand is clutching the remote control, pointing at the TV and the other is holding onto her leg on my body.

"Mm," I mumbled. Unsatisfied, I flick the channel away from the stupid reality show where there's a group of girls half naked on a bus. I don't get it. Half these girls are drugged out anyway, so there's absolutely no sex appeal to me with them drooling all over the place.

"And she said that Embry's imprinted." I look down at her and she beams.

"Really?" I ask. I sink further into the couch thinking it over. Well, it was about time. Embry was the only one out of the original wolves, who hadn't imprinted yet. I settled on a show that was making fun of reality shows. I love this show. "What's her name?"

"Her name's Lydia and she has a son," I balk at this news. "And she's thirty."

"Embry went for an older woman!" I laugh, a bit shocked. I chuckle at the thought. Embry only dated younger girls, like, just last month he was dating a seventeen year old. He often claimed that he would never date anyone who was older than him because it was 'disgusting'. Ha! The irony.

Kim sits herself up on an elbow. "That doesn't matter. They're in love and it's totally sweet."

"He's also a dad. Maybe he can give me some tips," I say. Wow, Embry was going to be a father-figure to this kid. He became a father in an instant, as soon as he saw Lydia. Whereas I have to wait another five months.

"He's learning, still. But at least it's all working out for him. Except, she lives in Missoula," Kim said.

"Wait? Two questions. One, when did this happen? And two, where is Missoula?" I'm confused; I only just saw Embry on Wednesday, which was two days ago and it's already progressed to this. Did Quil not know? I was just working with him a few hours ago and he didn't tell me? Kim traces circles on my chest.

"I think it happened late on Wednesday and he hasn't left Montana yet. He called only Sam this afternoon because you and Quil were at work and he didn't want to bother you, so he asked Sam to tell the rest of the pack. I think he might call sometime soon to tell you and Quil to watch the garage while he's gone." She settled back in between my body and the couch, rubbing her nose against my shirt, tickling me slightly.

I groan and the phone rings. Kim pulls herself up onto her knees. We have a table pushed up against the back of the couch where our phone is placed in the receiver. I press my hand over her baby bump as she reaches over and answers the phone. It's become a habit of mine. I clutch her stomach as if I'm scared the baby will just tumble out of her belly at any moment. I don't think I understand the phyics or mechanics to carrying a child.

"Hello?" She lies back down and I put my arm around her, the other firmly on her stomach. I move so that I'm on my side facing her and she looks up at me with a cute smile.

"Yeah, he's right here Quil," she hands me the phone. I take it, pressing it to my ear.

"Hey, what's up?" I say.

"Did you hear about Embry?" Quil asked.

"Yeah, pretty crazy right?"

He doesn't seem in the mood to chat: "Right, you're gonna have to go in for work tomorrow," he says.

"What?" Kim and I had plans to go to her dad's for the day to spend time with her family. We were gonna have a nice day with her dad, sister, sister's husband and sister's baby girl. As much as I was dreading spending the afternoon with Kim's dad, working didn't seem much of a better choice.

"You can close early! It's just, Embry called me about ten minutes ago and said he's basically not coming back, indefinitely. Normally he works the weekends. I'll take Sunday and Jake said he'd be there this whole weekend. Just stay there until five then you can go home." I sigh, Kim would not like this change of events.

"How is the guy?" I ask about Embry.

"Ecstatic. It serves him right! The amount of times he made fun of us about our girls, now he gets one of his own and we can tease him just as badly."

"Sure, sounds fun," I say, though, at the moment, it doesn't sound too interesting. Maybe in a couple months, but right now he's in a whole newly-wed faze that can't really be teased with when he'll be so blissfully unaware of the fact that we can make fun of him.

"Yeah, I think Jake said he'd ask Seth if he could help out tomorrow too, so we'll see. I gotta go; I'm taking Claire to the movies. Have a nice night, Jared," Quil says.

"Bye," I hang up and look down at Kim who makes a loud laugh over something on the TV. She laughs a long time, unable to stop and it makes me so happy to see her this way. I kiss her hair, she finally calms down, regaining her breath.

"What's going on?" she asks a laugh still in her voice.

"Embry isn't coming back until, God knows when, so I have to work tomorrow."

"What?" she looks at me sharply. "But – my family –," her eyes turn shiny, regretfully.

"I know, I know. Maybe we can make it into a dinner thing? I'll be off by five, or even earlier since Jake and Seth will be coming to the garage tomorrow too."

She pouts and hides her face under my arm.

--

I was here all alone all day. Jacob never turned up (I left him several angry messages, only to receive no reply back), Seth hadn't popped in at all and when I tried to call Paul in a desperate act for help, he refused to come by even for an hour. And today, was busy. There was a collision involving three cars about a mile down the road. One car in particular was smashed up well. The other two had minor fenders, in comparison. So, I was working on three cars, plus two tows, and many stop-ins to which I had to refuse service because I was so swamped today. We lost business, we lost customers. I would probably get blamed for it too. The fact that I was abandoned on a Saturday, the day that I don't work, would not be accepted as an excuse.

It was nearing seven o'clock and I had promised Kim to be at her father's at five-thirty. I couldn't leave right now, but my obligation to my wife was ringing like an alarm in my head as each minute passed. I hated disappointing her. On top of that, the phone had been ringing off the hook for the past hour and I was sure I knew who it was. Kim. But, I couldn't answer because I knew the moment I heard her voice ordering me to come for dinner, I would be racing out of this garage. I couldn't leave; I owed it to Embry and Quil – I gave them my word that I would be here today so I couldn't back out. Plus, I needed the money. We had a baby on the way and those tiny little people weren't cheap, as I've learned. Kim has been panicking about our financial situation for several weeks now and no matter how many times I say we're going to be fine, it won't change the fact that at this moment, we are teetering on the edge of not being fine.

No, I would not allow myself to think about how much money we needed. I was going to focus on my job efficiently. But I was so damn slow! I couldn't get myself to move around so nimbly like usual.

What slowed me down? A broken leg.

Stupid fucking leg. It's been almost two weeks and I still had this God forsaken cast on my leg. I had tried to pry it off a few times, but, unfortunately, Kim kept walking in on me, would see what I was attempting and then scream, shout and curse at me for being so foolish as to hinder my healing process. Women!

Bring-bring! Shut up! Don't call me! Leave me alone! I'm making money for us, Kim. Your dad can wait!

Bring!

Bring!

Briiiiiiing!

I sighed and tossed my rag on the engine. I wobbled over to the office where the phone sat on the desk, mixed among a mountain of paperwork. That was going to be a bitch to sort out on Monday. I picked up the phone, frustrated.

"What?" I exclaim in exasperation.

"What are you doing? Why haven't you answered? I've been calling for over an hour, Jared! We've held off dinner for you. When will you get here?" Kim's questions were spluttered out in such a way that it was disheartening for me to interrupt her and give her a proper answer.

"I can't come tonight, Kim. I'm nowhere near finished –," I begin.

"Jared, at least come for dinner. My sister, her husband and the baby are here. I need you. I'm freaking out -," her voice is frantic. The doctor had said a week ago that her blood pressure was unnecessarily high, so I was going to avoid adding on to her issues.

"Okay, okay! But, I'm coming back as soon as we're done eating."

"Thank you! Get here quick." She hangs up the phone and I put it back in the receiver. I put a hand to my forehead in an attempt to calm my headache. It's no use. I take a minute just to stand there in the office and collect myself, before heading out of the garage; I turn off all the machinery, lights and lock up after me.

Kim's dad's house wasn't too far, but it was in the opposite direction of where I would go if I were heading home. I walked fast, not wanting to upset my hormonal wife anymore than I apparently, already had. It was difficult when I had one crutch under my right arm. I limped my way to her father's house, down one street, up another. When I turned the corner onto the right street, gritting my teeth, I nearly ran into a woman.

The woman jumped in surprise, looked up at my face and let out a blood-curdling scream. Shocked at this reaction, I yelled out, also. We stood there for a few minutes, letting out noise of astonishment at a high pitch, staring at one another. What an odd occurance. There was nothing to be shouting about, but I couldn't seem to stop. She barely even blinked, she couldn't take her eyes off me and not in a sexy way, but a terrifying way. Finally she sucked in another breath (but I kept going), let out another shout and ran away from me. Once I collected myself, I realized how ridiculous that whole situation was, I shimmied back on track to the house.

The whole way, I couldn't get that screaming match with the random woman out of my head. What a crazy thing. Why had I reacted that way? Like a stupid little girl. Ugh, I'm ashamed with myself. Luckily no one saw that. I glance around the neighbourhood, which was fairly deserted, the sun setting low behind me.

I walk up the path to the door of the house. I knock on it once and Meghan's husband, Mark, opens the door. He looks startled at my arrival and I give him an odd look.

"Nice to see you again, Mark," I nod to him. Mark has one eyebrow cocked up in wonder, his messy light brown hair sticking up at different ends. He isn't that tall of a man, compared to me. I look down at him and notice he seems to have put on a bit of weight. I puff my chest out, proud of my body.

"Right...Hey, Jared," Mark steps aside, and I walk in. Father-hood has turned him strange. He wasn't saying a word to me, but I saw a faint smirk at the corner of his mouth. I was about to ask him what was funny, but when I turned into the living room, Meghan let out a short squeal, their baby, Natasha, began to cry when she saw me.

Natasha was almost a year old and she was standing on her own two feet, her small hands gripping her mother's knees, while Meghan sat on the sofa, her eyes wide, looking at me. Mark nods as if to confirm something.

"Hey, Meghan," I walk over to her, Natasha backs away behind her mother's leg. I kiss Meghan on the cheek and sit beside her. Meghan gives Mark an odd look. Mark points to his cheek and in response Meghan rubs at the spot on her face where I had just pecked. That was sort of rude, especially with me witnessing her doing so. She could at least of the decency as to wipe her cheek when I have my eyes averted or back turned.

"Jared, what's that -," Meghan starts, but is cut off when Kim walks in and jumps.

"Jared! What is that on your face!" she looks bemused. Suddenly, everyone's surprise is starting to make sense. I get up slowly and walk over to the mirror above the fire place. I look at my reflection and see that my face is covered in thick oil. Oddly enough, my teeth are also black. How did that happen? My clothes are filthy, my hair is a mess; my appearance is frightening.

I put a hand to my cheek and try to smear the gunk off my face. It does not help; it seems that I have pushed the oil into my hair. I push my hair back even more, only making it greasier. God, my hair is getting long. I grab a good lock of hair and pull it in front of my face, examining it in the mirror. It is rather healthy...glossy too, the kind of hair any woman would kill for. I flip my head to the side and admire the way my hair bounces. Huh. Cool.

"What are you doing?" Mark's voice is apprehensive as he observes me from the couch. Meghan and Kim look dumfounded as if they have never seen a man fascinated by his own hair before.

"I'm noticing how my hair – it does this flippy thing – I never really – you know what? It doesn't matter," I laugh nervously. Kim edges toward me and pats my hand condescended.

"Let's get you cleaned up for dinner," she says softly, leading me out of the room by the hand. I follow her without complaint, but catch my reflection in another mirror down the hall. My hair is so long! It hasn't been this long since I was a teenager.

"Look at my hair!" I exclaim to Kim, who shakes her head. This isn't the appropriate length hair should be for a father. I'd be an embarassing dad, and I don't want that. I will strive to be a cool dad, if not a hot one. (Well, only Kim will find me attractive, and possibly, in the future, my child's friends. If I have a daughter all her girl friends will admire my looks.)

I'm pushed into the tiny washroom, pressed up against the wall by the toilet, while Kim squeezes in also, shutting the door. We switch places with some difficulty so that I am the one in front of the mirror and sink.

The mirror is much smaller than the one in the living room, but the shock of my appearance is still standing. I run another hand through my hair.

"Stop that, we're not gonna wash your hair in my dad's sink," Kim grabs my hand and presses it to the tap, turning it to the right to make the water warm.

She turns her body a little, crouching down to reach into the small wicker-drawer that is so close to the toilet that I can never sit on it because my legs are too big and can't take the small distance between the two. She produces a face cloth and drenches it in the water. She then pushes it to my face, proceeding to wash it like I'm an invalid and unable to do it myself. It's odd that she is doing this, but I'm also quite charmed by her actions. She is so gentle and loving as she carefully clears my face of the oils residue. I put my hands under the tap, cleaning them. My face is back to the way I remembered it. Kim is gazing up at me with a small smile playing her lips.

"You're gonna be an awesome mother," I remark, after we stand there gazing into one another's eyes for a bit. She turns away after this comment, washing off the face-cloth.

"I'm starving," she mutters, ignoring my words. I run my hand through her hair - now that my fascination with my own has passed - settling it at the nape of her neck, holding onto her tresses, refusing to let go.

"I'm Jared," I responded. She rolled her eyes at my horrible joke that I reused so often that it was incredibly annoying. It was such a habitted response, I couldn't stop even if I tried. Kim had never asked me to stop with that old joke because even though it was stupid, I think she kinda liked it.

She moved to the door and opened it, only to realize that I was now squished up against the wall when the door was full opened. I was trapped so I had to wait until she left before I could close the door and then open it again so I could sneak out. On the way to the dining room I rubbed my chin, making sure that I had no more grime on my face left over.

The table was set and everyone was taking their seat. Mark was helping Natasha into her high chair that was placed right in between him and Meghan. I took a seat right next to Kim, while her father sat at the head of the table. I smiled at him, he replied with a tight nod.

I don't think he ever liked me or ever will. Oh well, I'm with Kim and there's nothing he can do about it. As Kim reaches over the table for the carrots, I see him eye her stomach disdainfully. I clench my fists, breathing in calmly through my nose. I would not let him bother me tonight. When Kim returns to her seat I lean over, kiss her cheek and place my hand pointedly on her stomach. Her father catches my eye, but doesn't speak a word.

I keep my hand firm on her ever-growing stomach, while I help myself to the food, piling it onto my plate. As I observe everyone else's servings, I realize I have the most. Shrugging, I pick up my fork and begin to dig in when Kim's father clears his throat.

"If you remember correctly, Jared, we say grace in this house," her father speaks, glaring at my fork which has a mountain of mashed potatoes. I nod, putting it down.

"I apologize, Frank," I say, coolly. Kim pinches the skin on my arm. We all bow our heads, and there's a silence as we all wait for someone to speak.

"How about you do us the honours, Jared?" Frank's voice cuts into the silence. Kim glances at me through her long eye lashes. My eyes widen at her, she responds with shutting her eyes.

"Sure," I say. I'm not a religious person and neither was anyone in my family. But, Kim, her sister and father all believed in a God, whereas I didn't know what to believe at often times. "Thank you, Lord...for everything – you are so generous as to give us food and...people. These people sitting at this table, are great...people. They are kind people. Nice people. Funny people...baby people," I wasn't sure if I was repeating the word 'people' because I didn't know what to say or I wanted to piss off Frank. He was seething, I could see, thanks to me. "I'm proud to be a part of these people's lives. I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you for the people, God. Yeah." Through the whole prayer, my hand still on Kim's bump, my other hand in my lap, I kept my eyes on Frank watching his expression.

"Amen," Meghan said nervousness in her tone as she glanced at her dad. Kim turned her attention to me, sharply. I averted my eyes, but her gaze was intent on burning a hole through me.

"That was well said, Jared," Mark smiles at me. He finds my fights with Frank hilarious. Kim does not. She never, ever does.

Frank hasn't remarked on my prayer at all, so we all dig in anyway.

"Jared, I was just telling Kim earlier how big she is already," Meghan says. Kim finally pulls her stare from me and settles on hating her sister at the moment.

"I am not big," she says.

"She's beautiful," I rub her stomach.

"I'm just saying. You're not even four months yet, and your stomach is quite large. Has the doctor commented on its size at all?" Meghan spears a carrot and pops it into her mouth.

"We'll be seeing him next week, so we can ask him then. Is there something wrong with being big?" I ask, beginning to worry.

"Now you've got him panicking, Meghan. Great, thanks," Kim snaps at her sister. Meghan looks unfazed by Kim's discontent.

"Should I panic?"

"No," Kim says.

"I'm sure it's nothing Jared. You're a big guy, so maybe you're just having a big baby," Meghan seems to be enjoying herself, torturing her big sister like this. Kim is not pleased and has decided to focus on her food.

"A fat baby?" I imagine it and I scrunch up my face.

"No," Meghan laughs. Natasha has decided to slap on the surface of her high chair rather loudly. It's irritating and I wonder why Meghan and Mark choose to ignore it. Someone has to shut her up. "Well, I don't know, maybe. Who knows right?"

"Our baby is not fat," Kim grumbles.

"And neither is she," I say, proudly. I believe this to help me earn brownie points with my wife, but she doesn't appreciate my input, clearly.

There's not a word spoken after that and we all put our attention to our food. It's rather awkward. I shift uncomfortably in my seat, looking at Kim for help. I hate awkward silences and situations. I react strongly in these moments because an overwhelming feeling of breaking the nothingness consumes me.

"So! How about those...Packers?" I exclaim the first sports team I know off hand that comes to mind.

"You watch sports?" Mark looks a bit stunned.

"Sure, I love...hockey?" My voice goes up at the last word. Kim snorts. She is the only one who finds this amusing. Everyone stares at me blankly. Even the baby for God sake. "No, no, I don't," I confess when I realize how quickly the jig is up.

"Obviously," Frank mumbles. He puts down his knife and fork, directing his attention to me. "What kind of man are you?" he stares at me, outraged.

"What kind of question is that?" I blurt out before I can stop myself. The silence is no longer awkward, but uncomfortable. Kim rests her head in her hand, stressed.

"It's the kind of question a father asks from her daughter's good-for-nothing husband."

"I'm good for something!" I protest. Not surprisingly, the first defence that comes to my head is making his daughter scream out during a climax, but somehow I can see he won't appreciate that response.

"Working at a low rate garage?" Frank's face is flushing. "Don't think you've matured into some strapping man. I still remember how horrible of a guy you were to my daughter when you first started going out –,"

"Daddy, Jared was perfect to me," Kim says.

Frank slams his hand on the table, causing his grand-daughter to burst into tears at the sudden noise.

"I never understood what you didn't like in me," I say in disbelief. I'm not a bad guy! I never hurt anybody – well, I killed a few vampires. And I have caused physical pain to several of my pack members, which was out of love. And, maybe, I've made my wife cry on the odd occasion, but I wasn't bad. I was pretty darn good if I do say so myself.

"There's something about you," he points a finger at me accusingly. "I always felt something. Kim would come home crying saying she was worried about you. She'd lock herself in her room for hours, crying and crying and crying! Never said a word. We used to be like two peas in a pod and then you show up and everything is backwards!"

Back in the first years of Kim and mine's relationship, it had been rocky. But it hadn't been us; it had been the whole vampire's versus werewolves' debacle that was getting us into wars and meetings. It was a very stressful time, but once the dust settled everything went back to the way it was supposed to be. Like it is now. He had no idea what he was talking about.

But, he was also observant, I'll give him that. He knew there was something off about me and dammit, he was right.

"Dad, I've been with Jared for ten years. We're having a kid now, can't you get over it?" Kim inquires, tiredly. Aw, poor baby, she looks exhausted. Can't I just take my wife home?

The look on Frank's face clearly says that I can't take my wife home and no, he can't get over it. Oh for crying out loud. I want to sleep and I just remembered I have to head back to the garage. I pull out my phone in my pocket, open it, and text Quil.

"We're in the middle of a discussion and you're on your damn phone!" Frank explodes.

"I'll only be a minute," I bite my tongue, thoughtfully, as I tell Quil I can't work anymore tonight or I'll die from sleepiness.

Mark pulls Natasha out of the high chair and takes her out of the room deeming this conversation inappropriate for him. The baby is just a buffer. Aren't they all?

"Jared, let's go," Kim grabs my arm, which hasn't left it's place on her stomach at all, then stands on her feet. She's fed up, thankfully. I didn't think I could take much more ot his discussion anyway.

"This isn't over, Kim," Frank stands up too. I get to my feet and shove my phone back in my pocket. I grab Kim's waist, pulling her back to me, as I back out of the room slowly.

"I'm not in the mood for this Dad. We're going now. I'm sorry, goodnight. I love you. We can plan another dinner when I'm not so tired. See you Meg. Bye, Mark!" she called out. I yank her away from her crazy family and into the hall. I wrap my arms around her, then press my face into her hair. Horrible night. Horrible day.

I hear Meg telling her dad to calm down. Kim and I leave the house before we can be stopped. Once we are out in the fresh air, I breathe a sigh of relief. That place was like a prison. Why had I walked into that house again? Oh right, my wife conned me into entering.

We walk back home, hand in hand, mulling over the events that transpired.

"Do you think Meg was exaggerating or it's true?" she wondered out loud. We passed the garage and I felt guilty for having no plans to return to work at all. Oops, oh well. Besides it's all dark and uninviting at the moment. Why bother?

"True – what?" I mumble, not really remembering her question.

"Am I abnormally big?" she looks down at her stomach. I open my mouth open in shock.

"Absolutely not. You are perfectly plump."

"Plump? That makes me sound like a turkey!"

"But, a very cute turkey."

"I don't want to be a Goddamn turkey. Not even a cute one!"

"Hmm, well then. Let's see. What else is plump - ?"

"Jared, stop it."

"A platypus?"

"A platypus! Have you ever even seen a platypus? Who calls their wife a platypus? For goodness sake, Jared."

"I like platypuses. Their cool."

"Ugh."

"Well, it's better to be a platypus then a walrus."

"Was that your first answer?"

"No way."

"Then why are you even bringing it up now?"

"Because apparently I love to dig myself a hole?"

She stops in front of our house, a frown creasing her eyebrows. She hesitates before putting a hand to her own stomach.

"I am too big," she whispers.

"Kim, you're pregnant. I'd rather you big then...not."

"No, I mean, I look like I'm five months gone or something. Don't I?"

"I'm not a pregnancy expert, I have to say." I'm completely clueless on this front. I look up at our house and at the window on the second floor, the front room. That's our bedroom. We're so close. I take a step to the house, watching Kim. She doesn't seem to notice my careful steps to the front door. I reach it, unlock it, open it. I wait for my wife to realize that I'm urging her into the house. She does and walks over, in a daze.

Once we're inside, I lock up the house and lead her up the stairs to our bedroom. I close the door behind us. She's still in her own world, her hand planted on her stomach. I strip off my shirt and pants, tossing them into the laundry basket. She begins to pace, while I stand there in front of her completely naked, she takes no notice.

"What are you doing?" I ask finally, my impatience wearing thin.

"Trying to see if I can know things about my baby. Like the sex or something," she meets my eye. I touch her cheek briefly before trailing it down her neck and resting it on her shoulder. I take off her shirt, which causes her to finally take her hand away from her baby bump. Before long, we're standing in the centre of our room with no clothes on. I wait for her to give me the consent that I can have my way with her.

She shakes her head, pointing to her dresser.

"Can you get me my nightgown?" she asks. Hopes of getting lucky are dashed, unfortunately. I rummage through her bottom drawer and produce her white silky gown. I pull it over her head. I reach into the laundry basket and get my boxers, pulling them on.

She crawls into the freshly made bed and I follow, revelling in the sheet's cool feeling against my bare body.

"Did you foresee our baby's future after all that thinking?"

"Don't tease me," she says.

"Alright," I agree to those terms. She wasn't in the mood and frankly, I was too tired to pursue an annoying counter.

"I don't think I'll be sleeping at all tonight. Don't worry about me, Jare. Get some sleep," her voice is clear and it's kind of harsh in the quiet echo of our home. I'm too tired to try and convince her to get some sleep.

So I sleep. She doesn't.

R/R!!