What had he gotten himself into? In a moment of stupidity he had asked Shizuo to sleep over. Why did he do that? He could just lie to his mother and say that Shizuo had in fact stayed the night, even if he hated lying to her. But there he was, in his room with his boyfriend who sat on Izaya's soft bed. They had walked passed Shizuo's house to get a change of clothes for him to wear the next day and asked his parents if they were alright with him staying the night at Izaya's place. Of course, they allowed it with a smile on their faces and there was nothing Izaya could do about it.

Now, why was that such a big problem for the raven? Because they would be sleeping in the same bed. The same bed! That meant hugging and cuddling all night like they usually did when they slept together. But Izaya couldn't go there. He was sure he would disgust Shizuo if he hugged his fat body. All that fat… Shizuo would feel it…

How had the blonde been able to bear touching him when his body was just one big lump of fat? It was a mystery to the raven. Besides, he was now sure to feel uncomfortable as hell too. Now that he had discovered how Shizuo, probably, truly felt it was unbearable for him to keep letting the blonde touch him. All that fat… Disgusting. Then how about when they had sex? That must have been horrible for Shizuo as well!

Izaya felt more and more disgusted and worthless as his thoughts ran freely, finding more and more errors about him and reasons for Shizuo to hate his body. He really didn't get why Shizuo bothered with him when he was so fat. Shizuo could get someone better if he wanted to… With that handsome face and amazing body, it would be easy. So why chose Izaya? Why wasn't he going out with someone prettier? Someone skinnier.

"Hey, come here," Shizuo said in a soft tone and gestured Izaya to come closer.

This snapped Izaya out of his thoughts and with a questioning look he walked towards the blonde. Shizuo suddenly grabbed Izaya by the wrist and harshly, but gently, swung him around and down onto the bed, making Izaya fall down on his back.

"Hm? Shizu-chan, what are you doing?" Izaya asked as said blonde hovered over him.

Shizuo merely smirked and leaned down to press his lips against the others soft ones. Izaya quickly relaxed into the kiss, closing his eyes and felt how Shizuo opened his mouth and licked his lips, begging for entrance. Izaya parted his lips as well allowing a curious tongue to enter his mouth. The raven couldn't help but moan at the feeling.

Wait… What were they doing? Shizuo didn't have something… more in mind, did he? No, no, no, Izaya couldn't go there! Showing his awfully fat body to Shizuo? No way! He had done that way to many times already and he wouldn't let it happen again! Shizuo didn't have to ever look at his disgusting naked body again. At least not until he was skinny.

He needed to be skinny… Now. It was necessary.

Izaya's hands grabbed the other's hand that had begun unbuttoning the raven's pants; making Shizuo stop and pull back from the kiss.

"What?" Shizuo asked confused.

"You're such a brute, Shizu-chan… doing things without even asking." Izaya said with his usual smirk that had a hint of caring.

"I never had to ask before, flea." The blonde growled lowly, obviously annoyed that Izaya had stopped him.

"Well, you do now. Besides, did it ever occur to you that I might not be in the mood for that type of activity? Hm?"

Shizuo sighed. "Come on, Izaya. We both know you don't mean that."

'Please, Shizu-chan… It's for the best for the both of us.' Izaya thought helplessly.

Since when had he become so vulnerable? He had always been overly confident in everything he said and did. Yet why? Why had he become that way? He briefly remembered his encounter a few months back with some guy he had teased with lies in order to see his reaction. The guy had gotten incredibly pissed off and even commented on Izaya's weight and body. At first this hadn't bothered Izaya but when someone he knew made a joke about his weight as well, he had started thinking about it. And in the end, he agreed. He really was fat. Well, he knew that his friend calling him fat had been a simple joke but it still got to him, though, mostly because the other guy had commented on it before. Though, that guy was probably just talking bullshit in a moment of anger.

Those two incidences made him look himself in the mirror and realize just how right they were. He was indeed fat. He got horrified with his new discovery and began eating less. And less. And less… And then he started purging as well.

"I'm afraid I do, Shizu-chan. I just don't feel like it."

"You just wanna keep that body of yours all to yourself, won't you?" Shizuo growled, lying himself down on top of the smaller male, burying his face in the sheets in between Izaya's neck and shoulder.

That remark rubbed Izaya the wrong way.

'I knew it. He thinks I'm fat as well! He's even referring that I should keep it to myself by saying it in an indirect way. I knew it.. I just knew it… Why didn't I realize it sooner?'

"Mat do ou ant o mo?"

"Excuse me?" Izaya asked confused.

Shizuo lifted his upper body and looked down at the raven beneath him. "What do you want to do?" There was a short pause and before Izaya could answer, Shizuo continued; "Why won't you have sex with me?" he asked bluntly. Since when was Shizuo so straight-forward?

"I just don't feel like it."

"Are you sure you're feeling alright? You've been a bit off since I picked you up today." Shizuo said firmly. "Or maybe it hurts somewhere? Are you still sore from last time?"

"N-no, geez. It's been at least a month since last time. How could it possibly still hurt?" The blonde shrugged in reply and said nothing more, in order to make Izaya tell him the truth. "There's nothing wrong, Shizu-chan. Isn't it getting late anyway? I think we should go to bed early. Then we'll have more time in the morning."

"Izaya.." Shizuo sighed, getting up from the raven. He took out his phone, "It's only 10 pm."

"We can put on a movie and fall asleep while watching it?" Izaya suggested. No matter what, he wouldn't be able to prevent them from cuddling. So let be it.

"Alright, alright. You go choose a movie then." Shizuo surrendered.

Izaya found the newest Sherlock Holmes and decided they could watch that.

"Let's watch this, Shizu-chan. I'm not sure you'll be able to understand all those difficult words the characters might say, but when you get caught in a moment of confusion, feel free to ask me what's going on!"

"What?" Shizuo growled and looked at the DVD cover. "It's Sherlock Holmes, flea. Of course I'll understand the words. It's not a fucking psychology documentary." He hissed.

"Now, now, don't be upset, Shizu-chan," the raven laughed, amused. He put the movie on while Shizuo changed into a pair of sweat pants and a white t-shirt to sleep in.

Suddenly Izaya realized that if he didn't want Shizuo to look at his body, he would have to get changed while Shizuo changed; since it would seem rather odd if he went to the bathroom to change. They had had sex after all and Izaya had never had a problem getting undressed in front of the blonde before.

The black-haired quickly went to his wardrobe and found a fresh pair of knee length shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in. Looking over his shoulder he noticed that Shizuo was already putting on his shirt. God damn it! He quickly pulled off his pants and shit only to let them be replaced with the nightwear he had found. Inside, he felt relieved that he got dressed without Shizuo looking his way. However, when he turned around he was met with honey eyes staring right into his red ones.

"Excuse me?" Izaya said in a huffy tone. Usually, the huffy 'excuse me' would be followed by a smart remark on how Shizuo couldn't control himself and therefore kept staring at Izaya's prefect being, but now he couldn't do it. He couldn't lie to himself like that. There was nothing perfect about him. There was nothing good about him.

"What? I just like staring at my boyfriend while he gets dressed. Is that a problem?" Shizuo said honestly and lay himself down on the bed, sliding over to make room for Izaya.

Izaya gave a small 'hmpf' in reply and turned off the lights in his room. Placing the remote controls to the TV and the DVD player on the night table beside the bed, he crawled up, lying on his side with his back facing Shizuo. The TV was to the left of the bed.

Shizuo then suddenly moved closer; his chest pressed against the smaller male's back. He put his arm around Izaya's waist underneath the covers and hugged him closer; half of his face buried in raven locks.

And then the movie started.

Izaya was tense. He just couldn't make himself relax. Not when Shizuo was holding him so close. It was horrible. No, torture was what it was!

Shizuo seemed to notice his discomfort because before Izaya noticed, Shizuo's hand had found his underneath the covers and his thumb were gently stroking his soft skin. It felt comforting. Relaxing. And soon enough, Izaya was sound asleep.


Sorry about the rather late update… I wrote this chapter when I wrote chapter 3 but I haven't had time to read through, and edit this one for errors. However, it's all done now!

About Shizuo finding out about the eating disorder… It won't be too long before he finds out but I still have some things I want to happen before that. So, please bear with me. He will find out.

Thanks a lot for all the reviews! I highly appreciate every one of them and I hope to get some for this chapter as well. Thank you!