AN: thanks again for all the reviews! Hopefully, this chapter will be way more intense.

It had been a long day for JD. Perry had been nowhere in sight, and JD felt no closure whatsoever. Not that he was looking for it, really. Closure was, indeed, the last thing he wanted. His shift was over and he wanted to get the hell out of that hospital. That place had been more than he could handle today.

He moved down the hall and out the door, squinting into the setting sun. At this time of day, the glare of the gassy ball was blinding. But, he moved on, walking briskly toward Sasha, his loveable scooter. He searched in his pockets for the keys, feeling more and more weary as each moment passed. Why was he this tired? He hadn't had too many patients today, and most of them just needed antibiotics for a cold.

The young doctor glanced up to find the source of his weariness. Dr. Cox sat atop Sasha, looking statuesque as ever, the sun haloing his figure, silhouetting his body, making him look like some sort of arch-angel. JD shook his head at such an unconventional comparison. God must hate him for that one.

"What do you want?" JD growled, in no mood to get in any sort of argument with his mentor. He was emotionally drained. He felt anger dwelling somewhere deep in his veins, coursing through his body, so deep that he couldn't muster the urge to bring it forth. He let out a semi-mournful sigh.

Without warning, Perry hopped off the scooter and planted a firm kiss on JD's open mouth. JD was surprised, confused, and was suddenly melting with the other man, leaning into his arms without a single question. Cox pulled JD into him with a forceful grunt and pushed his lips even harder against the other man's mouth. He seemed hungry, desperate even, for this kiss. He didn't understand himself. He'd told himself all day that this wasn't what he needed. That, in fact, this was the exact opposite. There was no way this was going to end well. There was no way he could have any sort of relationship with this man. He had a son to think about, and whether he liked it or not, he had a wife to deal with.

And yet, even with all this running through the mind beneath the curly, ginger hair, he deepened the kiss. Harder, faster, wanting to feel the body of the man in front of him, wanting the sweat, the heat. And he was overtaken, that quickly. He pushed JD off him and dragged him into the car, slamming it into gear, and squealing out of the parking lot.

*****

JD swung his legs out of bed and held his face with his hands. His head hurt, and he didn't understand why. He moved into the bathroom and flipped the light on. Looking into the mirror, he suppressed a gasp. There were bruises covering his shoulders and chest. He turned around and looked at his back in the mirror. Scratches, marrs, broken skin. And were those…hickies covering his neck? "Hey, Newbie."

The voice made JD jump slightly and he turned around. Cox sat in the edge of the bed, in his boxers, rubbing his arm, looking ashamed. "What…what the hell happened to me?"

"Um…brandy and Jack Daniels…" Perry said, lowly.

"What?" JD said, coming out of the bathroom, approaching the older man. "What happened?"

"You got a little drunk…"

Then it hit him. Cox had liquored him up. Had sex with him. Used him. Again.

"You're sick," JD exploded, throwing his arms up. "Dammit, Perry. It's not like you need get me drunk! Seriously, like I'm not willing to lay down for you? How many years has it been? How many years have I looked up to you? Worked for you? Listened to your every fucking word?! How many years have I loved you?!"

There was a resonating silence that fell between them. JD had said it. Admitted something he never thought he would. Despite his fury, he wondered what Perry's reaction would be to these words. He was frightened. He was having trouble trusting the man he'd looked up to for all this time. Would he hit him? No. He did something so much worse, that hurt JD even more.

"I don't love you. I have a wife and son. My life's difficult enough as it is. This is something I wanted. You're just…just convenient." He stood and strode to the door, but turned back. "I didn't get you drunk, jackass. You're the one that offered me the liquor. Leave me the hell alone."

Perry walked out and slammed the door. JD dropped to the bed, and folded into himself. Convenient? Really? Was that all he amounted to? All those years of the teasing, and the harassment? It wasn't in fun? It was because he'd been an easy target? How could he? How could Carla push him into this?

How could any of this happen?

AN: I know this chapter was really dark, but I have so much planned for this story. Please stick with me. Cox isn't gonna be horrible for much longer, I swear. I love him too much for that. Thanks for everything.