Disclaimer: I own nothing no matter how much I wish I did. I just took them out of the cupboard to play.
A/N: Many thanks to my beta, Jo, who has done fantastic work making sure this story is good enough to see the light of day :)
o
Regina pulled her car up outside Emma's apartment complex; a four story brick building in a run down neighbourhood. She'd long since memorized every fact in Emma's file, and the GPS provided with her rental had gotten her there quickly. A stray dog ran past her and headed behind an over-flowing dumpster as she clicked the remote to lock the car. There was an old man sitting in the doorway of an adjoining building, smoking a pipe and watching the brunette thoughtfully; his grey tweed flat cap sitting slightly lopsided upon his head.
Regina felt her stomach clench in unmitigated fear - Emma had to be here, she wasn't sure if she would be able to handle the alternative. She strode purposefully to the buzzer of the building, pressing Emma's apartment button without pause.
"C'mon Emma, please answer," she muttered to herself, throwing a prayer to whichever gods may be listening. She may not have been a religious person, but she thought it wise to cover all her bases. She pushed the buzzer again, holding her breath as she waited. Agitation rose in the brunette as another ripple of terror and self-loathing passed through her. For a third time she pushed on the buzzer and still the silence continued to greet her. In frustration she lashed out, hitting the solid brick wall with the palm of her hand, glaring at the apartment buzzers as if they were personally responsible for the mess in which she currently found herself.
She tried, futilely, to open the security door, unsurprised to find it locked from the inside. From back in the street she heard the hacking cough of the old man at the adjoining building. Moving back out from the small alcove she strode up to the man, looking at him as he took another puff from his pipe, the beige sports coat he was wearing clearly a few sizes too large for him.
"Do you know Emma? The blonde woman who lives on the second floor?" she asked, barely concealing the panic that was steadily rising within her.
The old man lifted his eyes to the brunette, the smoky white of his evident cataracts obvious to Regina. He shrugged his shoulders deeply, grunting noncommittally.
Regina clenched her jaw, a movement mirrored by her fists balling at her sides. Stepping back away from the man she moved briskly back to the front of the building.
"Emma!" she called loudly as she stared up to the second floor, pausing briefly to listen for a response. When none was forthcoming, she called out again.
A small, elderly woman appeared on the third floor balcony.
"Hey!" she yelled down to Regina in a thick Asian accent, "you be quiet!"
"I need to speak with Emma," Regina had shouted back as her reply.
"No! You stop yelling. You as bad as other girl. All yelling and crying and throwing things. You stop now or I call police!"
Regina felt her heart sink, amazed it could fall further than it had already. "What other girl?" she called up to the elderly woman.
"Girl below here," she replied, pointing with emphasis to the apartment directly below her own.
"Is she there now?" Regina asked before once again calling out Emma's name.
"Who cares! Now you be quiet!" the elderly lady spat back before disappearing inside her apartment, muttering foreign curses.
Regina watched the departing form of the older lady; her breath hitching as she wrapped her shaking arms around her own torso, trying to hold herself together. She hung her head as she felt bile rise in her throat; leaning back against the hood of her rental she fought for breath.
"Hey lady," she heard, a deep southern accent coming from Emma's apartment block. Lifting her head she noticed the old man holding open the security door, slipping his keys back in to his pocket. "Go find her," he said, nodding more to himself than the brunette.
Regina pushed herself off the car, thanking the old man profusely as she dashed past him, unable to contain the hope she held in her eyes.
Within moments she had ascended the flights of stairs to Emma's apartment and stood outside her door.
"Emma," she called through the door, "Emma please, if you're there let me in, let me explain."
She raised her hand to knock on the door, her stomach dropping as the first knock pushed at the door, allowing it to swing open slowly on its creaking hinges.
"Emma?" she called, trepidation sparking through her voice. Carefully she raised her hand to the door, feeling the white paint flake off as she pushed it open the remaining distance. Taking a deep breath she crossed the threshold of the doorway, entering the small, cramped apartment.
What greeted her eyes was nothing short of a disaster zone, as if Cyclone Emma had torn the place apart. Books and magazines had been swiped unceremoniously from the kitchen table and found themselves laying strewn across the stained, white vinyl floor covering; an array of glass, cheap porcelain and plaster chips were littered at the base of a wall across the other side of the room - small holes gouged in the walls from the force of the impact. A sole cup remained the only survivor, its presence in stark contrast to the outrage that had surrounded it. The toaster, she noticed, had received a softer landing on the couch, but evidently the small television was to bear the brunt of her anger as it had been pulled down from the black, laminated chipboard stand it had once resided upon.
Cringing she moved through the house, down the narrow hallway over threadbare carpet, its original colour having faded many years prior.
"Emma?" she called out quietly, hope and fear warring within.
She pushed open the first of the two doors within the apartment, finding it to be the bathroom. The small medicine cabinet door was ajar, a huge crack scarring the mirror on the front - a half empty tube of toothpaste all that remained inside; the cheap, plastic shower curtain lay torn from its rings in the bathtub. Regina gulped for air as she moved out of the bathroom.
She knew, before she walked in to the last room that Emma was not here, knew that this apartment was nothing more than an empty shell of what once had been.
She crossed the entrance in to Emma's bedroom; the single faux wooden dresser had its drawers open, two of the five thrown haphazardly on to the carpeted floor. A handful of clothes was all that remained, strewn in amongst scattered papers and ornaments.
Regina sank down on to the bed, springs creaking their protest, as she put her hands to her face and allowed the tears to flow unabated. Her body shook in desolate emptiness, unable to suppress the sobs wracking her fragile frame. Her arms wound around her waist again, tears - hot and salty - slipped down her cheeks, dripping on to her forearms as her fingers dug in to her sides. The wreckage here, she knew, was her fault.
Slowly time passed and her tears began to ease; she looked around the room once more. Maybe she hasn't left town yet, Regina thought as she remembered back to yesterday's conversation. Mama and Joe had been like the parents Emma had never had, maybe, just maybe, she could find her.
With her mind set to this new course of action, she stood up from the bed and made to exit the room. It was from the corner of her eye that she noticed a small piece of paper amongst the mess, something on it caught her attention. Carefully she bent down and picked it up, her lower lip trembling as she suppressed a fresh wave of tears as she realized it was an ultrasound picture of Henry.
Putting the photo in her purse she left the apartment. She would find Emma.
o
Emma hit the steering wheel of the car with the palm of her hand, her frustrations boiling over once more. She'd been driving for the past hour, driving west with anger and tears clouding her vision. On repeated occasions she found herself wiping her eyes with the back of the sleeve of her jacket. She groaned in frustration and shook her head to clear her mind. Give me a time machine, she thought to herself, just take me back 48 hours. She loosed her grip on the steering wheel as she spotted her knuckles turning white; softly she groaned again.
Looking in her rear vision mirror she noticed the couple of boxes and single bag on the back seat of her car - all her worldly possessions. What a singularly uninspired life, she mused silently to herself; her entire existence brought down to three containers of accumulated wealth. She wiped at her traitorous tears once again.
She'd kicked herself mentally the moment she'd heard the heavy hotel door click closed behind her that afternoon; kicked herself for believing the lie, for wanting to believe it. The moment the door had closed she'd realized she had left her gift-wrapped toy upon the chair and she found she had to stifle an unfounded scream at the sense of loss it provoked. She could have bought another one, she supposed, but so many things were broken now and it seemed foolish of her to maintain such a ritual.
She shook as a sob left her chest at the memory of honey brown eyes looking deep within her own, of a vulnerability expressed, trusting that it would be held and not shattered like glass upon concrete. She laughed derisively at her own naivety, her own stupidity, for believing this woman felt as she did; that the touches they shared were anything more than bait for something else. She couldn't fathom why Regina would have a file on her, why her every movement had been tracked and categorized. And you never stuck around to find out either, her mind told her, disloyal as always. There was no explanation that would make this alright.
She knew, deep down, she should have cut her losses; knew that double or nothing had never won anybody anything. More the fool she for thinking it would be different. But gods, had she believed in fairy tales she may have thought Regina had woven a spell over her. Never before had she cared if a one night stand had used her; and if she were brutally honest with herself, that's really all Regina had been. A truly magnificent, beautiful, one night stand. A one night stand who had moved something within her that she thought could never be touched, that would never see the light.
Emma pulled off to the side of the road, listening as a truck sped past, blaring its horn. She let the tears fall freely from her eyes as she closed them against the harsh realities of the day. In doing so all she left herself with was the burning image of a stunningly gorgeous woman with chestnut brown hair, who held a spark in her wide, trusting eyes and beyond all semblance of reason, had left a piece of herself carved into the blonde's chest.
Hitting the steering wheel one more time Emma started the motor and pulled back out on the road, leaving Tallahassee behind her once and for all.
o
"We're closed," Joe said as he heard knocking against the door of his bar, "come back in an hour."
The knocking continued unabated, the muffled sound of a woman's voice drifting through.
Sighing deeply he stopped restocking the bar and headed to the front door, opening it a small margin, his eyes narrowing as he recognized the slender brunette before him. She looked a mess.
"Joe, please, I know you don't know me but I need to find.." Regina began.
"Save it," Joe said, "you're not welcome here." He moved to close the door again, a puzzled look crossing his features when the door did not close as expected. Looking down he noticed a foot wedged between it and the frame. He grunted in irritation.
"Please. Joe, please," she begged, her hand resting on the heavy wooden door, lightly applying pressure against it.
He looked at the woman before him, her eyes rimmed with red, bloodshot to their chocolate brown centre. Gods, what a mess, he thought to himself, his mind drifting back to Emma not more than an hour prior in much the same condition.
"I said you're not welcome."
"I have to find her Joe."
The woman's foot refused to move, refused to allow him to shut her out of this bar, out of his life. He exhaled loudly, finally opening the door to let her in. It wouldn't do to have an hysterical woman on his doorstep when he opened to trading in less than an hour.
Quietly he closed the door behind her as he moved back behind the bar, resuming his work restocking it. From his periphery he noticed the woman fidgeting, unable to keep herself still; finally he'd had enough.
"Haven't you caused enough damage?" he challenged her icily.
"You don't understand..." Regina began.
"I don't care to. Do you have any idea what you've done? What you've put her through? You don't get to come in here and demand, you have no idea what her life has been like, the sacrifices she's made. You do not get to trample over it like it's your own private playground." Joe slammed his hands down on the counter in emphasis, glaring at the woman on the other side.
Regina all but trembled as his words crashed in to her, shaking her to the core. She had been out of practice, could not pull the walls up fast enough to protect herself.
"Joe, she's..."
"No, I'm not finished," he said, cutting her off. "Emma came by here earlier, saying she should have cut her losses," his voice dropped as he turned his back to Regina, staring up towards the ceiling in a bid to keep the tears in his eyes from falling. "She came by and she paid her tab." He shoved his hands deep in his pockets, refusing to turn back and face the other woman.
"I.. I don't under.."
"Don't understand?" He cut her off again. "Of course you wouldn't, you're in her life for all of five seconds." He turned around, glaring accusingly at the woman across the counter. "She's gone."
With that one admission, Joe felt himself deflate, the fight, the anger, dissipating from him like the morning fog. She'd been like the daughter he'd never had. His wife, god rest her soul, would have liked Emma.
"I tried calling, but her phone is just going to voicemail," Regina started, her voice barely audible.
"Yes, 16 times, I know." Joe reached under the counter and pulled out Emma's cell.
"Her phone," Regina exhaled, "she left it behind." It wasn't a question.
Joe nodded and returned it back underneath the counter. It would be the last thing he ever had from her and he knew he was being a sentimental old fool but he didn't care. Sighing softly he poured himself a drink of whiskey, tipped it back and swallowed it in one go.
Regina blinked, nodding her head slowly as she wrapped an arm around her stomach. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized she had made this familiar gesture repeatedly today, a comforting gesture she had not had reason to make in many decades, not since she was a much younger woman. She swallowed as she turned.
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," she said quietly as her feet led her to the door.
Joe looked up and watched as the woman began to leave.
"What was it?" he asked to her retreating form, "what was so damn important about Emma?"
Regina's footsteps faltered before she stopped. She turned her head to the side, as if to look over her shoulder, but not quite far enough to see the man in her peripheral vision. Quietly she answered him.
"She's the mother of my son."
With those words left to hang in the room she lowered her head, opened the door and left.
o
The flight back to Maine had been uneventful; seven hours of her time she would never get back, seven hours to collect her thoughts and process events, seven hours to plan her future.
Crest-fallen after her meeting with Joe she'd almost decided against going to see Mama; but if Mama hadn't heard that Emma left town, she would want to know and Regina felt the burden of delivering that information herself.
As Regina tried to gather herself before entering the shop she wondered what she could possibly say to this kindly older lady to make things alright. Nothing, she knew, would ever be alright again. The way her eyes had lit up when Emma had stepped through the door, how she had held her hands and kissed her cheeks; this was just another family Regina had seemed destined to destroy. She bit on her lower lip as she wrung her hands, trying to shake the nervous energy. Expecting a reception much the same as from Joe, she steeled herself and stepped through the doorway.
"Regina!" the older woman had exclaimed, running up to her, claiming her hands in her own and kissing her cheeks. The sad smile on the older woman's face betrayed the knowledge of Emma's departure.
"I'm sorry, Mama," Regina had said, her voice breaking as her eyes glistened with unshed tears. If the small shop had held any customers, Regina was unaware, her world shrinking to the space encompassed by herself and the elderly lady before her.
"No, no, child, hush. This isn't your fault."
"Mama," Regina had exhaled softly, "it is all my fault."
"No, bambina, Joe already told me. You may not have gone about everything the proper way, but the outcome would have been the same. Emma runs, it's what she does." Mama's voice had been full of sadness, full of empathy.
Regina had blinked, a hot, salty tear escaping before she could stop its slow passage down her cheek. She sighed as Mama brushed it away.
"No more tears, child. Emma has run as she would always have done. But the question is, what will you do? Will you follow?"
"I don't even know where to start looking. And our son..." she trailed off.
"Nonsense. I have seen it, the spark, she has your thread. You will find her again. And she will find you. Family always finds each other."
Regina had snapped her eyes back to the older woman, wanting to question her, aching to know what she knew; but to her dismay Mama guided her to the doorway of her shop.
"Go, child, see to your son. You will find Emma if that is truly what you desire."
Slowly she had turned from Mama and walked back to the hotel. Back to the place where her life had most recently fallen apart.
As she had finished packing she'd noticed Emma had left the wrapped toy upon the chair; whether by accident or choice, Regina did not know. Carefully she had made room for it in her suitcase. A sad smile had crossed her face as she found a pair of Daffy Duck socks under the nightstand and she hadn't hesitated in packing those as well. She knew, as she'd closed that hotel door for the last time, that she had found Emma Swan once before, knew without a doubt she would find her again; the magic of the spark held them together and she would bring her true love home.
She pulled up in her Mercedes quietly alongside the curb at Kathryn Nolan's house, the stillness of the night compounding upon her. It was late, very late, but she desperately wanted to see Henry and wrap her arms around him; find some measure of peace. Gently she rapped on the door and waited as she saw lights within the house start to turn on. A few moments later the door opened.
"Regina," Kathryn whispered as she opened the door wider to allow the brunette inside, "I wasn't expecting you until the morning." She hugged her robe tighter to her as a yawn escaped from her lips.
Regina moved past the blonde woman and into the house, turning to look back at Kathryn as she closed the door.
"I trust everything was well here?" she asked, keeping her voice low.
"Oh yes," Kathryn smiled, "he missed you terribly of course, but we had lots of fun drawing and playing; he'll be so happy to see you. He really is a wonderful boy."
Regina couldn't hide the swell of pride in her chest at those words, she loved Henry so dearly.
"Can I offer you a drink? I know it's late and all..." Kathryn glanced at a clock, noticing it was well past midnight.
"No, thank you. Another time perhaps? I really would just like to get Henry back home and head to bed myself. It's been a long few days."
"Of course," Kathryn replied. She led Regina upstairs to the guest bedroom where Henry lay sleeping.
Regina walked in to the room, Henry's small night light the only illumination. She smiled as she took in the sight of this boy, a tangle of limbs and blankets in his Incredible Hulk pyjamas. She felt a lump in her throat form, her love for this small child was all encompassing. Softly she brushed a few strands of hair from Henry's face, watching as his eyes, unfocused, fluttered opened.
"Mommy," he mumbled sleepily.
"I'm here baby," she said to him, running her fingers through his hair before gently scooping him up in to her arms. As Henry wrapped his small arms around her neck she let out a soft sigh of contentment and she felt her heart melt just a little bit more. "Let's get you home, sweetheart," she added, but already he was fast asleep in her embrace.
Turning towards Kathryn she smiled. "Thank you so much for taking care of him for me," she said quietly.
"Anytime you need, he was an absolute angel," Kathryn replied.
Regina followed as Kathryn held open the front door of the house and was grateful when she also opened the car door so Regina could put Henry in without waking him up. She turned to the blonde woman and gave her a quick hug. "I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked.
The blonde woman nodded her agreement, trying her best to stifle another yawn.
Regina laughed quietly. "Go back to bed. Thank you once again for looking after my son." She watched as Kathryn smiled and headed back in to her house, watched as the lights turned off one by one.
Climbing in to the car she turned to look at Henry and smiled at the peace that was so evident upon his face.
She started up the car and drove back to her own place, lost in her own thoughts for the mile it took to reach their home.
Regina unlocked and opened the front door before returning to the car to pick up Henry, kicking the door softly closed behind her before carrying him upstairs to his own room. She tucked him in, leaning down to kiss him softly on his forehead. "Sweet dreams, my darling," she murmured tenderly.
"Love you, Mommy," came a sleepy reply.
"I love you too, Henry," Regina said, truly feeling in her heart the depths of that emotion.
Quietly she pulled the door partially closed, leaving enough of a gap to hear if he called out to her in the night as he did at times.
Wearily she made her way to her own room, the events of the day weighing heavily upon her. Tonight she should have brought Emma home, should have had her in her house and should, at this moment, be making love to the most stunningly beautiful woman she had ever had the opportunity to lay her eyes upon. She had made plans earlier for Henry to stay the extra night with Kathryn so herself and Emma would have the house to themselves; carefully constructed plans laid to waste so easily.
Slowly she began to undress herself, throwing some items in the hamper to be washed whilst others were placed on the back of a chair to be taken to the drycleaners on Monday morning. Idly she allowed her fingers to roam across her stomach, closing her eyes briefly as she felt the ghost of Emma's fingers having travelled that same path less than 24 hours ago. She exhaled softly at the memory before releasing it from her mind, opening her eyes once more.
Reaching underneath her pillow she found her black satin pyjamas, relishing the feel of the material against her skin. She sighed in contentment as her egyptian cotton sheets called to her their siren's song, seducing her in to slumber.
As sleep came to claim her, the impossible spark fired off soft flickers in her mind, taking her to a magical place beyond time, to a place filled with dreams of Emma Swan.
o
She'd spent the better part of seven hours driving west out of Tallahassee, stopping only for gas, until her need for food and rest had finally started to become overwhelming. She'd pulled in to a little 24 hour road side diner on the outskirts of Baton Rouge which backed on to a small, budget motel. The diner had been all but empty at this hour of the night, one lone customer sitting at the counter nursing what she assumed was a cup of hot coffee and staring dejectedly at a slice of pumpkin pie.
Clearing her throat as she approached the cash register, she caught the attention of the young boy behind the counter. Idly she had wondered if he had even reached minimum working age to be here, let alone what kind of parents would allow him to be at a road side diner at this hour of the night. Dutifully she had kept her opinions to herself, ordering a coffee and a grilled cheese to go, grateful when the kid behind the counter slipped her order to someone else working in the kitchen.
The man at the counter had given her a cursory look when she had approached the register, but had since seemed to slip back in to his own thoughts. She paced as much as the small diner would allow, stretching out limbs that had been cramped within her car for far too long. Her neck cracked as she stretched her head to the side, ear almost touching her shoulder. It was then she spotted a payphone from the corner of her eye. Slipping in a few coins she dialled the only number she could think, the only person she'd kept in sparse contact with over the years.
"Hello?" a voice, slurred with sleep, had answered on the fourth ring.
"Hey, Dean," she'd replied.
"Emma?"
"Yeah."
There had been a heavy sigh and a creak of bed springs as Dean had shifted his weight.
"What's wrong?"
She'd bitten her lip at this question, knowing the truth wasn't an option. But then again, with Dean, the truth had never really mattered. Foster homes had brought them together on multiple occasions, no experience for either of them being anything more than a meal ticket for the family who took them in.
"I'm in Baton Rouge."
"Are you heading out here?"
That was the sixty four thousand dollar question. She had no destination in mind, nothing beyond her need to leave, to get as far away from Tallahassee, from Regina, from everything, as possible. Texas was as good a place as any.
"Yeah."
There was a pause and a slight muting of the phone as she heard him pass his hand over the receiver; muffled voices in the background.
"When will you be here?"
"Tomorrow afternoon, I guess."
Another pause. This had been a stupid idea. She sighed in to the phone, ready to tell him she wouldn't be coming after all.
"Ok Em, I'll see you tomorrow. Drive safely, ok?"
There was no tenderness in his voice, only weariness. She fidgeted; she could still change her mind.
"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow."
She hung up the phone as she heard the scratchy voice of the teenager behind the counter tell her that her order was ready. Tiredly she left the money on the counter as she took the styrofoam cup of hot coffee and the white paper bag containing her grilled cheese. She juggled both items as she dug deep in to the pocket of her skinny jeans to retrieve her car key before she was able to slump down in to her car seat. It wasn't the best plan she'd ever come up with, but then again, she wasn't known for making any real plans. She'd stay in Austin until something better came along.
She dug in to her grilled cheese, almost inhaling her coffee; she hadn't realized how hungry she had been, nor how much she had needed the caffeine hit. A wave of regret rolled over her as she thought about Mama's coffee, about how she had left without saying goodbye. Truthfully, she was afraid if she had gone to see Mama she would have been talked in to staying, and Emma Swan never stayed.
She'd only meant to close her eyes for a few moments, but the day had weighed so heavily upon her and her stomach was finally full; she felt satiated of body, if not of mind. And so she'd slept, blissfully devoid of dreams.
Emma lurched forward as she was startled awake, the incessant tapping on the window beside her dragging her from slumber. Carefully she wound down her window, affecting an innocent smile to the man outside.
"Can I help you, officer?" she asked.
"You can't stay parked here, Ma'am," the officer had replied, "this is for customers and guests only. You'll have to move along."
"Sorry, officer, I'll be on my way," she said as she fumbled for the car keys in her pocket.
"See that you do," he'd replied before turning on his heel and walking back to his patrol car.
To Emma's dismay he waited in the car park to make sure she left. Cringing softly at the cramps in her back and neck, she wound her window back up, turned the motor on and pulled out of the parking lot on to the main road. She had another long day of driving ahead of her.
o
With the intuition only a mother could have, Regina awoke only moments before a small bundle of six year old limbs, body and Incredible Hulk pyjamas came launching off the carpet beside the bed, landing on her lean frame hidden beneath soft cotton sheets and a light duvet. Grunting as she managed to only slightly dodge the full impact, she couldn't help but smile at the delight playing upon Henry's face.
"It's my birthday!" he'd all but squealed mid-flight to Regina's stomach, landing awkwardly as he wrapped his tiny arms around her.
"So it is, my prince. You're getting to be such a big boy now," she'd said as she brushed his soft, brown hair from his face, looking in to his wide, trusting eyes.
Carefully she had glanced at the clock beside the bed, thrilled to see he'd slept in a whole hour later this year than last year's 5.30am effort.
"And what does my prince want for breakfast on his birthday?" she asked, already knowing full well the answer.
"Pancakes!" his little lungs had cried out as he squirmed off the bed before running out of the room. She heard his footfalls against the carpeted stairs and smiled to herself as she pushed the covers off; today was going to be a wonderful day.
Sitting up on the edge of the bed she ran her fingers through her hair before pushing her feet in to fluffy, grey slippers - complete with bunny ears and whiskers. She would never have bought these herself, would never have been seen dead in such a monstrosity of fashion, but Henry had bought these for her for Christmas - with the help of the local Sherriff, of course. Ever since then they had become one of her most prized possessions. She shrugged on her robe and pulled it tightly to her, smiling once more as she made her way downstairs and in to the kitchen.
Henry had already set the table for breakfast; the jar of maple syrup sitting prominently between the two empty plates, flanked by both sugar and cinnamon. She ruffled his hair as she walked past, finding herself rewarded when he turned a delighted smile in her direction.
"I made the table, Mom!" he exclaimed as she passed by, moving in to the kitchen.
"You 'set' the table," she corrected, "and you did a wonderful job." She opened up the cupboard as she started to gather the ingredients for the pancakes.
"Can I have a present?" he asked, unable to contain the excitement in his voice.
"Don't you want breakfast first, my prince?"
"Please Mommy?"
The puppy dog eyes were her undoing, she knew she could never say no to those.
"Ok, just one."
"Yay!" he yelled, jumping up and down with mounting excitement.
She headed in to the living room where all his presents were currently located, exhaling softly as she noticed the sheer amount of gifts she'd actually bought. She hadn't intended to go so overboard, but she had wanted so desperately for Henry to have a better childhood than she ever did. Carefully she selected one she knew he would like and could keep him entertained long enough for her to cook breakfast.
"Here you go, Henry. Happy birthday, my prince," she said as she returned to the kitchen, handing him her gift, watching with love as he raced back to the table to unwrap it. He spared no time in ripping the carefully wrapped present apart and Regina found herself smiling at the sight of his obvious joy.
"It's a book," Henry said, his voice sounding mildly disappointed.
"Not just any book," Regina had countered as she walked to him, leaning over his small frame as he sat in the chair. Carefully she turned to the first page, reading him the first sentence.
Prince Henry was the wisest of rulers, the bravest of men. The people of the kingdom knew they would need his help to rescue the princess and slay the dragon.
"That's me!" Henry had cried out with delight.
"Of course," Regina smiled, "and watch this." She flipped open the second page and stifled a laugh as Henry gasped; the castle had all but sprung forth from the book as the pages had opened, telling its story in three dimensions. "It's called a pop up book, Henry. All your brave deeds will burst from the pages."
She found she was unable to hold the laugh any longer as Henry continued to turn the pages, gasping as every new scene emerged from the book - seemingly larger than life. She'd been thrilled when she had found a website that specialized in making children's books more personalized, being able to tailor fit them to any child's name - and with more than two hundred titles, virtually every possible fantasy a child could want would be covered. With Henry's love of castles and fairytales, the choice had been simple.
Regina moved back to the kitchen and finished making the pancakes, shaping them as best she could in to all manner of animals, some mythical, some common. Together they had eaten their fill; herself preferring the maple syrup but Henry seeming to have taken a taste for sugar and cinnamon with his own. His chatter about the day ahead sparked a sense of well-being in Regina, happy that she was able to give her son the childhood she never had.
Once breakfast had been concluded and the dishes left in the sink to be dealt with later, Henry's begging and pleading for his presents had finally shifted in to overdrive. At her word he'd run in to the living room and sat down impatiently upon the carpeted floor, waiting for her to join him. She took the camera from the top shelf and followed him in moments later - prepared to take many photos of the day.
It was almost two hours later when Henry, exhausted from unwrapping his gifts and constantly changing games he was playing, finally came over and sat in Regina's lap. She slipped her arms around him and gave him a tight squeeze followed by a quick kiss to his forehead.
"Almost time to get ready, Henry, your birthday is only just getting started."
"I love my presents, Mommy," he said very solemnly, causing Regina's heart to clench slightly.
"Off you go, time for a shower," she said, giving him a gentle nudge so he would move from her lap.
He trudged up the stairs towards the bathroom, all his energy gone for the distasteful task of bathing. Regina shook her head, a smile spreading across her features as she watched his small frame ascend the stairs; she felt truly blessed.
Grabbing a spare garbage bag she began to clean up all the wrappings as she moved Henry's toys, books and games to the side. Everything with him right now was fairy tales and castles or the Incredible Hulk - buying gifts for him had been incredibly easy, but the sheer quantity of merchandise available had left Regina's purse considerably lighter.
It took her longer than she anticipated cleaning up the wrappings and washing the breakfast dishes and before long she heard Henry running down the stairs, eager to get on with the rest of the day.
"Mommy's just going to have a shower, my prince, I'll be down shortly and then we can go."
"Go where?" Henry had asked in wide-eyed awe.
"It's a surprise," Regina had said, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
She disappeared upstairs to her bathroom and sighed as she felt the first hot jets of water hit her body. It was here, in the privacy of her own bathroom, that she allowed the events of the previous day to push to the forefront of her mind. She had been so successful suppressing them in Henry's presence, his youthful exuberance overshadowing anything her mind may otherwise have wished for her to dwell upon; but now, with nothing to distract her, she wept openly for the mess she had made. She allowed herself this weakness, this vulnerability - knowing she was more than deserving of the self-inflicted pain. And so she let the tears fall down her cheeks, merging with the hot water of the shower; she stood, leaning her palms against the tiled wall and tried with all that she was to not feel the profound sense of loss Emma had created within her.
o
"Where are we going, Mommy?" Henry asked as he buckled up his seatbelt.
"To the park," Regina replied.
"We always go to the park."
"Oh this time it will be different, my prince, you'll see," Regina had answered.
However, nothing could have prepared Regina for the sight as she rounded the corner of the street and pulled in to the parking lot of the nearby park. She had hired two different jumping castles for Henry and the other children in Storybrooke and had asked Granny and Ruby to cater a children's birthday party. But looking at the number of people that were in the park, everyone in town had shown up. She certainly hoped that Granny had cooked enough food.
Her fears, as it turned out, were un-founded as tables from seemingly every resident in town were filled with food; chairs filled with adults sitting back and relaxing, enjoying a Sunday in the park with their children, friends and neighbours. For Henry's part, he could barely wait until the car had come to a stop before racing out to the nearest castle and throwing himself straight in to it. A clown off to the side was busy juggling coloured balls to the amusement of a small horde of children at his feet. Regina felt her heart swell, this is how it should be for every child, she thought.
She set out to meet Granny who she found sitting near the head of the closest table. Placing her hand on the older woman's shoulder, she managed to get her attention.
"Thank you so much for this," Regina had said gesturing to all the food on the tables - the truth of her gratitude evident in her voice.
Granny stood up, clasping Regina's hands in her own. "I am happy to do this. You do so much for our town, this is the least we can do in return."
Regina had been about to reply when a gentle cough from her side caught her attention. She'd turned to see Marco standing near to her, Archie and Kathryn not too far behind. She felt her breath catch as a pang of concern struck her. She couldn't bear it if her plan failed her today.
"Is everything set?" she quietly asked the older man standing beside her.
A grin broke out upon Marco's face as he answered. "Everything is ready, we just need your key."
Regina fished her keys out of her handbag, peeling off her gate key and handing it to Marco.
"Thank you," she said as she placed her hand upon the older man's shoulder. Looking towards the pair behind the older man she raised her voice slightly so they could hear. "Thank you both as well, it means so much to me."
Marco nodded and smiled, before turning and ushering Archie and Kathryn back to his waiting truck. Regina watched as the three drove back in the direction of her house. She hoped it would all work out.
With a soft exhale and a silent prayer to the gods above, she took a seat next to Ashley and began chatting to the women surrounding her, making sure to keep an eye on Henry at all times.
Her heart had clenched each time he came running over to her to give her a hug for no other reason than to say 'thank you' or to tell her about how a clown had found a quarter behind his ear. She listened in rapt attention to each of his stories before he would run off again to play in the jumping castle or on the swings. Every so often her mind would cloud at the thought that the only thing missing was Emma; but she would mentally shake herself from that line of thinking, would not let it bring her down again today.
As the sun began its descent across the afternoon sky, the party had begun to wind down. Parents with small children had already left so their kids could have their afternoon naps; the cake had already been brought out and wishes had been made. Henry's eyes had lit up as he spotted the chocolate cake with green icing shaped as the Incredible Hulk and Regina had been sure to capture the whole thing on camera.
With a quick call to Marco she had received her confirmation and she was finally able to breathe easy once again. She called Henry over to her, telling him it was almost time to go home so he should say his goodbyes. He had nodded as he'd yawned, the excitement of the day starting to wear on him. She hoped he could stay awake just a little bit longer.
After saying goodbye to the remaining people in the park, she waited until Henry was buckled in before setting off for home. The day had, so far, been a resounding success and she was hopeful that the last touches would be as exciting for Henry as she hoped. It took them only minutes to get back to their house, Henry not noticing Marco's truck parked out front.
As the car doors were shut and locked, Regina cocked her head to the side.
"Do you hear that, Henry?"
Henry looked up, puzzled, but turned his head in an attempt to hear. To his surprise he faintly heard a woman's voice upon the breeze.
"Save me, Prince Henry, save me!" the voice called.
"Mommy! Someone needs us!"
"Wait!" Regina said, opening the trunk of the car, "you will need these." She handed him a small, plastic sword and crown she had left in there days prior.
Henry grabbed the sword and crown, delight playing across his features as he ran for the side gate and pushed through it.
Regina rushed to follow him, rounding the corner to their backyard only moments after Henry.
There, greeting her eyes was the spectacularly built wooden castle Marco had spent the last three months designing and crafting. It boasted four separate towers and one, at present, housed Kathryn dressed as a princess in need of rescuing. The three had done a miraculous job of bringing all the pieces here and fixing them together in her backyard. She knew she would be indebted to this trio.
"Help me, Prince Henry!" Kathryn called out again.
Henry hesitated briefly, turning back to his mom as a look of sheer joy swept across his face.
Moments later, Archie, dressed as a dragon came roaring out from behind the apple tree, blowing confetti as if it were fire.
"Quickly, my prince, you must save the princess!" Regina said, smiling, as she nudged Henry forward.
Henry dashed forward in a daring display of bravery and vanquished the terrifying dragon, Regina cheering him on - and taking photos - all the way. As he ascended the stairs to the tower with the princess, Regina noticed Marco in her periphery.
"I can't thank you enough for this, Marco," she'd said.
"It has been my pleasure," came his accented reply. "I never had a child, but if I had, I would have hoped he would have been like Henry."
Regina dutifully ignored the tears she saw building in the older man's eyes, opting instead to give his shoulder a squeeze. She turned when she heard Kathryn exclaiming her gratitude at being saved by such a brave prince.
She barely noticed as the following hours passed as both herself and Kathryn took turns at being rescued while Archie and Marco swapped at playing the dragon. In fact, it wasn't until the sun had dropped well below the horizon and home made pizza had been devoured that the trio finally said their goodbyes to herself and Henry.
Henry had been solidly yawning for half an hour before Regina had finally been able to coax him in to going to bed. Sitting down on the bed next to him, she leaned up against the wall, brushing the hair from his face as he fought to keep his eyes open.
"I don't want my birthday to end," Henry had mumbled.
"You'll have another one next year," Regina had answered, smiling down at her son.
"Can't I just have one more present, please?" he'd begged her.
She'd been about to say that there were no presents left when she recalled the one wrapped gift in her suitcase. She hadn't had time to check what it was, to make sure it was appropriate, but a part of her felt relaxed at the thought. Emma had bought this present, and unbeknownst to her, it was only fair that it went to their son.
Regina found herself agreeing to Henry's request of one more present and slipped from his room, retrieving the gift from her still as yet unpacked suitcase. She knew giving it to him was the right thing to do.
Henry's eyes widened as he pulled the paper off, an Incredible Hulk action figure hiding inside. Regina found herself slightly taken aback at the gift, wondering if fate was playing a hand in her destiny once more. This had been one of the few action figures she hadn't been able to find.
"Thanks, Mom!" Henry had exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Regina's neck in a tight, quick hug.
She'd been about to say the gift wasn't from her but found herself unable to form the words; how was she to explain from whom this gift had actually come? Smiling, she gently patted Henry's back before he lowered himself back on to the bed, pulling the covers up to his chin and hugging the action figure to him closely.
She sat quietly on the edge of the bed as Henry very quickly succumbed to the lure of sleep, his hands never letting the Incredible Hulk out of their grasp. She looked down at his small body and thought of the beautiful woman who had given birth to him, the woman who should be here celebrating with them. She sighed softly as she walked out of the room, switching the light off as she went.
With a heavy heart she made her way back to her own room, letting herself slip between the sheets, hoping sleep would claim her quickly. Closing her eyes she felt the familiar pull of sleep as it beckoned to her, wanting to feel it sweep her away in its currents. Somewhere in the corner of her mind the impossible spark fired again and without conscious thought, Regina held on to its thread.
o
A/N: Thanks to all who are sticking with this story and reviewing - your opinions mean a lot and I appreciate the time each and every one of you takes to leave me a message. I hope you continue to enjoy this as much as I'm enjoying writing it. :)
