LanieCroft - Yep i am impatient as well so i know that feeling. I am trying to keep it kind of realistic so there will be some hesitation but don't worry i will fix it in the end. Thank you for reviewing!

Claire - Haha yeah i just did it! Thanks for sticking with me i hope you keep enjoying the story.

Suz - You are totally forgiven for not reviewing first, i know you were avoiding being spoiled. You did better than me i caved in and went on Youtube :) Oh and btw congratulations...how is Erin doing? lol.

ingridmill - Yeah well he is Mark :) Thanks for always leaving a review, it is really appreciated.

A/N - I was going to wait a while to post this in the hope that someone would take pity on me and leave some more reviews but then i got convinced in to posting it now. So you can thank Suz (yes my wonderful beta who i talk about all the time) for the quick update. Thank you so much to the few people who did review...this chapter is for you.


I was meant to tread the water
But now I've gotten in too deep
For every piece of me that wants you
Another piece backs away
You give me something
That makes me scared alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try

James Morrison, You Give Me Something

Chapter 4 - You Give Me Something

Alex downed another shot quickly, barely even noticing the way it burned his throat. He was perched on a stool at the end of the bar determined to drown his sorrows and forget about the week from hell. Joe wandered over and removed some of the glasses that had piled up around him.

Alex raised his eyebrows at the look that the barman shot his way as he collected the empties. It was pitying and Alex hated people feeling sorry for him.

"Dude, don't pity me. No need to look at me like that. So I had a bad week, everybody has them, I'll get over it," Alex said.

"It's hard not to pity you when you look like that man. She really did a good job on you huh?" Joe shook his head.

"You burn the she-shepherd and she burns back. I hurt her and humiliated her so now she gets her own back. I should have known." Alex shrugged as though it meant nothing when really the pain was as raw as it ever had been.

"She-shepherd? Well you better watch out because it looks like she's back for more," Joe said while watching Addison enter the bar and leave her soaking wet coat by the door.

"Oh god, why me?" Alex questioned to the bar around him. Joe laughed and patted his arm reassuringly before moving over to take her drink order.

Addison didn't notice Alex at first. She ordered a vodka from Joe before glancing around the bar. Her stomach clenched when she saw him sitting there staring at the bar. She tried to make eye contact but he deliberately ignored her.

"Hey," She whispered as she moved to stand next to him. "Is this seat taken?" She gestured at the empty bar stool beside him.

"Depends who's asking," Alex replied. His voice was neutral but she noticed the tension in his jaw as he clenched his teeth. She could tell that inside he was seething even if he wasn't displaying it outwardly.

"Well I guess I'm asking," She said softly.

"In that case no it's not taken. You can have that stool and this one, because I'll be moving over there away from you," Alex said as she sat down beside him and he moved to stand up.

She looked hurt at that comment even though she knew it was well deserved. She grabbed hold of his hand to stop him from leaving. He jumped as her soft skin made contact with his and had to stop himself from automatically lacing his fingers with hers. He just stared at her small hand on his, unable to pull away.

"Alex…please don't go. Or at least don't go yet, give me the chance to explain first. I owe you that if nothing else." When he didn't move she continued. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"No thank you," Alex said tersely. "What did you want to explain?" He glanced at her sitting beside him staring at the bar deep in thought. She looked so sad that a part of him wanted to tell her it was all ok and everything was forgiven. The stubborn part of him said to get up and leave now. He compromised by just staring at her and waiting for her to speak.

Addison sighed and looked down at their hands. Where did she start? Maybe the beginning would be a good place. She took a deep breath and started speaking, hoping that he would at least hear her out.

"When I first started feeling things for you I denied it with everything I had. You were, and still are, my intern and I was adamant that our relationship had to remain professional." She swallowed hard before continuing.

"The first time we almost kissed all of that went out of the window. It felt right to be that close to you and who knows what would have happened if we hadn't been interrupted"

"I tried to end it then, I told myself it wouldn't happen again. Then that night when I kissed you, I tried to stop myself but…I don't know. It just seems that I can't resist. Then you told me you weren't interested. That hurt me more than I like to admit, I thought maybe you felt the same way about me as I did about you. Anyway after that I was sure it was over."

Addison took a sip of the vodka which was placed in front of her, she was about to pour all her feelings out to Alex and she felt like she needed something to keep her going.

"Last week in the NICU was unbelievable. You always manage to surprise me with how sweet you are, and for the first time you kissed me. I know I avoided you when I shouldn't have but I didn't know what to say. When you walked in on Mark holding me all I was thinking was that I wanted it to be you with your arms around me. I know I've been stupid at times but I guess I'm asking for another chance." Addison took a deep breath and dared herself to look up in to his eyes.

All the time she had been speaking he had watched her. His eyes were unreadable and she couldn't begin to imagine what he was thinking. At some point during her monologue his fingers had laced with hers and their hands were now clasped together tightly.

"Addison…I…I don't know what to say. You and Mark have a history I can't compete with," Alex finally said.

It was really the first time Addison had seen him look unsure of himself and it brought a tender smile to her lips.

"Mark and I do have a lot of history, most of which I'm not proud of. But I'm not asking you to compete with him, I'm asking you to give us a chance to make our own memories. Maybe it won't work out between us, I don't know, but I do know that I want to find out." Addison spoke gently; he looked more scared now than he had ever been. She wanted nothing more than to put her arms around him and tell him everything would be ok.

She realised that hugging him now wouldn't exactly be appropriate so she settled for stroking her thumb over his hand lightly, trying to put him at ease.

Alex felt his heart thumping in his chest as he contemplated her words. His mind was working in over drive trying to process what she was saying. He couldn't think straight, he could barely breathe and his palms were sweating. The only thought that was clear in his mind was the need to put some distance between them so he could think. Her close proximity and the feel of her hand in his was too much to deal with.

"I…I don't know…crap I'm sorry I don't know what to say," Alex stammered out. His knew his face was red and his eyes were darting around the room trying to figure out an escape route. "Maybe…but not right now, I need to think…and I can't think when you're sitting there looking like that."

Addison nodded her head slowly as his words sunk in. What did all that mean? She couldn't even begin to make sense of it and before she had a chance to speak he had stood up and pulled his hand from hers.

"Can I get back to you?" Alex asked as he put his coat on quickly. He seemed uncomfortable and desperate to get away from her.

Addison just nodded her head mutely. She knew even if she had the words to say she would be incapable of uttering them without crying. The corner of his mouth turned upwards in what could have been a smile but turned out to be more of a nervous grimace. Addison watched his retreating back as he made his way out of the bar.

Can I get back to you, what the hell did that mean? He wasn't saying no but it wasn't an acceptance either. Addison cursed him under her breath, now she would spend every waking moment wondering what he meant. It was so vague she didn't know what to think. She sighed deeply and waved Joe over.

"I think I'm going to need another drink Joe, something strong." She said dejectedly, resting her chin on her hands as she leaned on the bar.

"Sure thing Doc, coming right up. Rough day?" He asked as he prepared her drink.

"Try rough week…or you could even go with rough month."

"I take it things between you and Alex aren't going so well?" Joe asked casually.

Addison's head jerked up as she looked at him in surprise.

"How do you know about me and Alex?"

"He mentioned you earlier; I put two and two together. He seemed as sad as you are now. You know if you had a fight it's ok to just kiss and make up now instead of dragging the drama out for longer. You two work well together."

"Try telling him that. I tried to make it up to him but he just ran away. He said he will 'get back to me'." Addison made quote marks in the air as she spoke the last part. "You're a man…what the hell does that mean?"

"It means he likes you," Joe laughed at her confused expression. "He's scared Addison, he likes you and it absolutely terrifies him to think about just how much he likes you. Trust me on this one." Joe put her drink down in front of her and smiled softly.

"Thanks," Addison replied absently as she sipped her drink, her mind was elsewhere.

Joe chuckled at her vacant expression; he shook his head and moved away to serve the next patron.

Addison just sat there lost deep in her own thoughts.

To be continued...


Alright then...comments? What did you think?