This is too long to be a drabble but I couldn't help it. And the point of drabbles/vignettes is not to explain in great deal, I'm merely presenting this, if it doesn't make sense to you then that's because it's very confusing and twisted, but it also makes sense if you let it.

inspiration::: "I've never dropped anyone I believed in."--Marilyn Monroe


"I just wonder what they're talking about and then I know, they're talking about Lucius and I, about Narcissa, how I stole Lucius from Narcissa. How much Narcissa loves Lucius. Oh whatever, nobody EVER loved Lucius as much as I loved him, that's ridiculous."

"There are nicer guys out there."

"Nobody asked you."

"You've got such an attitude, Evans."

"A mudblood and a pureblood, a mudblood and a pureblood. You don't think that's ingrained in my head? I can hear them saying it as though they're still stuck in there.I told Narcissa everything, I trusted her...all of them."

"Why don't you start at the beginning and never trust anybody ever again?"

Lily looked at Remus with tiny tears in her green eyes, "because..." she said, searching for the words, "...because I can't go back."

"You're only sixteen."

"But sixteen is a lifetime when you actually are sixteen."

"Lily..."

"And I thought I hated him, he deserved it, all of it. I really wanted to hate him, to scream that, to love the hate and keep it inside and let it stay there for as long as it wanted...maybe forever. But I don't hate him, not even a little bit. You can't say something that untrue, such an obvious and ridiculous lie."

"You think..."

"That Lucius and I could have gotten married? I must have thought of it a billion times. I have this messy red hair and these mesmerizing eyes and I'm far too skinnybut I'm not beautiful, not even a little. And Lucius was rich and handsome and you could see who he was through his eyes...we were suited. He'd grab my hand in the hallway and I'd get so nervous he'd whisper 'deep breath, Lily, deep breath, smile over at Peyton, wave at Johnson, he's waving at you...deep breath' and I'd look at him and say 'you're not smiling one bit.' Malfoy never smiled, he was so unhappy with the acts he put up but he kept putting them up, he kept adding to the facade. One step, two steps, three steps..."

"Here, have some water, don't work yourself up so..."

"They were all so jealous I was finally happy. When I was with Lucius, I was happy. I was so happy and no one wanted me to be happy, they wanted me to be miserable. They wanted to see me crying in the corridors and then laughing five seconds later in the Great Hall, you know, oh the many faces we wear--they wanted to see that. I was finally happy and they ripped that away from me like it was the last thing and only thing they'd ever held on to. They corrupted it and polluted it and all I ever did was love him."

"Maybe you'll never be normal, maybe you'll always be just a picture to them...a person thrown into a box, labeled, stereotyped..."

"...nothing, worthless, someone to use and abuse, unlucky, stupid..."

"Don't say that."

"I could go on forever."

"Lily, come here," he opened up his arms and she looked at him from her seat on the grass. She looked at him as though she couldn't believe it and she began to cry, trying desperately to cover her face with her hands. "You couldn't possibly still want to be my friend," she choked out, "I've made so many mistakes."

She gave him a hug and held on tightly.

"At least you didn't change Professor Barn's hair to pink today like Nicholas did."

"I guess," she said with a small smile, "I didn't do that. You would look nice with pink hair, Remus."

"Let's go back to the castle."

"Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"You'll always be here, right?"

"Yeah, Lily, I hope so."