Chronicles of the Weird Zim Doom
Chapter 4
The Most Spaztic Romance Ever
"OMG! Zim!" Dib came running up to Zim from far down the street. He hurried over to the Irken and started to pant because he was so tired from running so much.
"Dib-stink? What do you want?"
"I found out the most wonderful thing!" He spread his arms out wide to express how wonderful said 'thing' was.
"Should I care?"
"Yes! It involves you!"
"Ah! Did you find out about the pencil and the duck? I swear! It wasn't me! They have no proof that I did it! No one knows that I did it! They don't have any video feed! That cannot prove that it was me who did it! They need proof! Proof! Proof, I tell you! Proof GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It wasn't me! My tallest believe me! Anyone could tell you that I didn't do it! They could tell you that I did nothing! Nothing! The pencil was just there and the duck was there! Who could have resisted anyways?! It was impossible to resist! Impossible I say! Not that I couldn't… No! Because I am of the great Irken Empire and they will never be defeated by a pencil and a duck! Never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Never I freaking tell you! N! E! V! E! R! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you understand me you Dib-worm of horrible sink?! No one knows that I could have done it! No filthy human can prove it! They have nothing to say so but a bunch of people testifying so! That could have been paid! Paid, I say! Paid I didn't do the pencil and the duck crime! I didn't! GODDAMMIT I DIDN"T DO WHAT THEY CLAIM TO HAVE SEEN ME DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM ZIM! I WOULD NEVER BE CAUGHT HAVING A PENCIL TO THAT TO THE DUCK! AND I DON'T CARE WHAT PROFESSIONALS SAY! THE MACCARANA WAS NO INVOLVED WHEN IT HAPPEDNED! THERE WAS NO DANCING OF THE LEAD AND THERE WAS NO MACCARANA! Maybe the cha-cha… BUT THAT'S IT!!! I DID NOTHING STINK-PIG AND IF YOU GO AGAINST ME THEN I WILL VAPORIZE YOU WILL MY GUN OF DEATH! I don't have it here but I could take you home and destroy you there! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PENCIL AND THE DUCK!!!!!!!"
"Pencil… and the duck?" Dib raised a brow.
"N- Never mind… Anyways, Dib-worm… What is it that you wish to tell Zim? I am very busy, you know. I don't have time to sit around with a stupid stink-pig and do the chat-chit. That's just stupid and unneeded of an Irken soldier."
"You mean chit-chat?"
"WHATEVER!! GET ON WITH IT OR I AM LEAVING RIGHT NOW!!!!"
"I love you Zimmy-kins!!!"
"Eh…?"
Dib tried to hug Zim but the Irken pushed him away. "I love you so much Zim! I wanna hugglez you and cuddles you and be all angsty and shit like that! Please! Let me hug you and be all angsty and shit like that! Please!"
"No! Ah! Get away from me you stupid Dib-worm! You disgust me!" Zim puished him to the ground and ran down the street. Dib heard him yell into a com-device and he said: "Gir! Fetch the bucket and have it ready at the door when I get there! Hurry! Now!"
Dib sat there and cried on the street. "No one loves me…"
Then he got an idea and he hurried home.
---
Dib burst in, scaring the crap out of his dad. His sister glanced upwards at him as their dad ran out of the room, screaming. Dib smiled as he went and the looked at his sis, who was playing games on the TV in the living room. She had some pizza on the table and looked to be in a particularly bad mood. Dib smiled and thought that he would cheer her up. Boy was that stupid.
"Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Gaz!"
"God damn it! What do you want Dib?!"
"I luff you!"
Gaz's eye twitched. "I DON"T LOVE YOU!"
---
Dib lay sprawled on the floor of his room. He had the shit kicked out of him. "Aw… not even my family loves me… I'm so alone!" He took a knife and cut himself. "I'm all EMO like on wha!!!" Then he died.
And that was the end of Dib.
Love killed him.
Ha! Sucker!
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Brooke: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh! I love writing that chapter! I loved that one so much! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Zim" You're very odd today…
Brooke: I know!!!
Jack: Yeah… I'm going away now…
Impmon: I'm coming too…
