Chapter Three
Fools Rush In

Of all the issues Ken expected to come up against after his move here, having reasonable access to a pen was not the one he thought would give him the most trouble. After Calvin disappeared into the bowels of the mansion that night, Ken took his chance. It took a good few hours but eventually he came across a substantial horde of pens – all branded identically from what looked like a shady pottery business – hidden in the fireplace of a converted guest room.

Life's supply of free pens acquired and stashed carefully in the corner, Ken finally settled down for the night. But his sleep was fragmented – interrupted several times by the ghost of a grin lurking in the far corner. When he blearily blinked awake the following morning, thankfully without Calvin's wakeup call, he reasoned perhaps he might need to swap rooms.

Breakfast was another needlessly extravagant affair. When Ken trudged downstairs, Calvin was bent over the breakfast table, an entire grapefruit speared at the end of his fork.

"So, you feel like you're getting to know the town, Ken?"

"I've been here two days." No one could learn the ins and outs of a town that quickly, could they? Maybe Calvin actually did have standards…

"Ahh, very true,"Calvin was now slicing chunks off of his grapefruit with a carving knife. Ken tried not to watch. "Either way, I figure the best way for you to learn would be to get out there and explore it, yes? So you would be comfortable making your own way to school and back from now on?"

Ken shrugged. This town was designed like a giant waffle. Blocks upon blocks upon blocks of right-angle corners and crossroads. It would take some serious dedication to get lost here. "I guess."

"Grand!" Calvin beamed, "I like a lad that gets stuck in! Really gives me hope for the next generation! And speaking of getting stuck in, would you mind feeding Frank for me? I would, but I'm afraid my hands are occupied with tiny fruit!"

Ken looked up from his fruity-o's – he only picked them because the spoon that came with said 'cereal killer' – and noted that Calvin's attention was being held hostage by a mobile phone. His sliced grapefruit now lay abandoned on the kitchen table – replaced by… pixelled fruit? His fingers zipped across the screen and Ken saw images of fruit sliced, diced and chopped go flying in a bizarre barrage of colours.

Ken's cereal had gone soggy. He looked around for a bin, even just a sink to place it into. He had the vague idea he would come back to it later. But there was nothing. Nothing he could see, anyway…

"Don't worry about the cleaning, Ken. My maid Inga will get that for you at some point or another. Probably. Frank's feeding bowl should be in the kitchen."

Calvin was still immersed in his dumb game, so Ken shrugged, and placed his bowl back on the endless table. The enormous bowl of seeds and pellets waited for him ominously in the next room, so it was all just a matter of getting it, and taking it to the hulking ostrich… wherever it was.

No sooner had Ken wrenched the bowl off of the kitchen countertop, was there a shrill squawk followed by the stomping of feet. Ken barely had time to turn around before a pair of beady eyes were staring him down outside a nearby window.

"Ohh, it appears Frank has spotted you!" Calvin didn't take his eyes off his phone. "He is quite wary of strangers Ken, so I would be too. But you have his food. And there is no better way to an ostrich's heart than with food! Mr Tom Hanks can verify that!"

Ken gulped. Like that one scene out of Jurassic Park that had haunted him for years, Frank the ostrich snorted against the window, leaving a trail of condensation. That thing could end his life in seconds if it wanted. And he was supposed to feed it?

Ah well. He'd had a good life. And at least "mauled by an ostrich" would give somebody in the morgue a chuckle.

Ken nervously stepped towards the window. The beady eyes of the ostrich outside never left him. The idea that only a thin pane of glass separated him from 260 pounds of pure rage and muscle was enough to set him trembling. Eventually, he slid the window open. Frank dashed his neck through the open gap with the speed of a bullet. Ken's arms nearly buckled under the weight as the ostrich pecked at the full bowl of seed like a drill. It was over in seconds and Frank disappeared back into the depths of the garden.

"Atta lad!" Calvin called from the other room. "You've not been injured, I hope? Good, that means he likes you!"

With a roll of his eyes, Ken plonked the heavy bowl down on the nearest surface. He could feel a rush of energy from within, soothing his manic heart rate and lifting his spirit. A tiny stab of bravery sure did wonders for one's morale.

"And now I suppose it's time for you to be toodle-ooing, isn't it?" Calvin walked into the room, mobile phone in hand. "A thanks is in order for your help, dear Ken. And on that front, I award you with this!"

From the breast pocket of his suit Calvin retrieved… another mobile phone?

"Staying in contact is imperative in our day and age, Ken, and it shows the world that I am a suitable guardian by remaining in contact with you," Calvin handed him the phone. It was one of the latest models, with the touch screen and everything, too. "You needn't worry about adding me – I've already done that part! But I do request that you play Salad Samurai with me on occasion! It's deadly fun!"

Ken looked over his new phone. The only other one he'd ever had was one of those ancient flip models, so this was a huge step in the best direction. Calvin had attached one of those plastic cases to it already – with a picture of Frank the ostrich on it, how charming – and just like he'd said, his name and number were already listed in the contacts list.

"Now, I shouldn't need to tell you how to use a phone, should I Ken?" Calvin wittered. "After all, this is the technology of your generation! Kids these days are practically born with cell phones, eye-pogs, and wee…fee? Anyway! If you need to get a hold of me for any reason, do feel free to call!"

"Sure thing, Calvin." Ken muttered, and shouldered his schoolbag. "…thanks for the phone."

If Calvin had even uttered a response, Ken didn't hear it. After navigating the endless hallways to exit the building, there was only the matter of Frank dashing past him like a blur before he left the grounds to contend with. He had to jump the fence to avoid the crane-like neck of the monstrous bird.

Tracing his way backwards from yesterday, Ken weaved his way through the many streets of the unfamiliar dingy town. For all his bravado earlier, when it came to actually navigating the streets, it was quite easy to second guess himself. Relying on what little he could remember, the ocean breezes, the bus stop Calvin had picked him up from, the giant carnival in the distance, he slowly pieced together a route he hoped would bring him to school.

Following these clues as they cropped up, Ken somehow found himself outside the very restaurant the Gene and those other two had entered yesterday. Was this where they lived? Did they sleep on the restaurant floor or was there some sort of… living quarters upstairs? Ken very suddenly felt grateful for the many rooms of the Fischoeder mansion

Waiting for them was probably a good idea. Assuming they hadn't left already. They went to the same school, so it was the polite thing to do. He and Gene were even in a lot of the same classes, so it would be silly to just walk straight past and shun the companionship. Even if they were weird.

Ken pressed his face against the window of the restaurant. The man behind the counter was determinedly rubbing at something on the countertop with a washcloth, and aside from one guy wearing a beanie hat opposite him, the place was empty.

With a bell's tinkle, Ken found himself walking into the restaurant. Immediately his senses were assaulted by the pungent stench of grease, fried meat and… grilled cheese?

Both of the men in the restaurant turned to face Ken as he entered. The moustached one behind the counter stared for just a moment longer than he should've, and even took a step back.

"Err… hi there," he spoke, dropping the washcloth and paying Ken some attention. "What can… I getcha?"

Ken took his moment to look around. The place was a bit less run down and shabby from the inside. Classic red and yellow colour scheme, with a good balance of bar stools and booths, could maybe seat twenty something people, though he was seriously doubting there had ever been that many people in here at once.

"Umm…" Ken stammered. Gene and those other two did live here… right?

"If you're looking for recommendations, our Burger of the Day is the 'Ehh, Macaroni'," the man behind the counter chuckled. "It comes with a layer of mac and cheese. Sound good?"

It was only then that Ken noticed the chalkboard. It looked as if it had been erased and re-written on hundreds, if not thousands of times, and today's 'special', apparently was a burger with mac and cheese in it? Was that really a thing here? Was it really a thing anywhere?

"Hmm, maybe not," the man seemed to notice Ken's expression. "You are here for… food, right?"

"I am always here for food, father!" A familiar voice burst into the room. "Oh, hey there Ken! You remembered where I live!"

"You didn't shut up about it on the way home yesterday. How could he?" The little one with the bunny ears chided. What was her name again?

"Who remembered?" The older sister with the equally forgotten name chipped in. "Who's… oh."

Her glasses shone as she locked eyes with Ken, and suddenly the eldest of the trio withdrew into herself, then looked away.

"Wait, you all know him?" The man behind the counter asked.

"He's my new friend from school!" Gene threw an arm around Ken's shoulders.

"Yeah dad, stop trying to take him away! STOP STEALING GENE'S FRIENDS!" Bunny ears yelled.

"Louise…" their dad groaned. So that was her name…

"Bobby…!" Another voice called from the hallway. Onto the restaurant floor walked a tall woman with ostentatious red glasses, and the same jet black bangs as all of her kids. "The delivery's here! Gonna get it?"

"Already?" 'Bobby's eyebrows knotted together. "…alright, I got it. Kids, go to school."

"We're going!" Louise screeched back at him. "What, you think we're just standin' here, stalling for time?!"

"Isn't that kinda… what you're doing, Louise?" The eldest one said.

"Tina…!"

Another name remembered.

"You guys should listen to your father," the other voice, presumably their mother, said as she came onto the restaurant floor. "Otherwise you'll be l-heyyyyy…!"

She and all of her tallness got down onto one knee, and looked Ken in the eye. "Hey there, stranger! You friends with my little babies?!"

"Mo-ommmm…!" Louise sounded even more annoyed now, tugging at the hem of her bunny ears and pouting.

"And there's my babiest baby…!" The mother cooed. "Come here, give your mommy a hug!"

Louise made a screeching sound, not unlike that of a startled bird. Before Ken could so much as register movement, she was already halfway out the door.

"I'll take that hug!" Gene volunteered, and was smothered immediately by arms.

"Mmmm, mwah mwah mwah mwah!" The mother planted about a dozen kisses on Gene's forehead. "Alright you three, have a good day at school! And you," she turned to face Ken. "Any friend of the kids is a friend of Linda's!"

"That's her," Tina pointed to her mother.

"OBVIOUS, TINA!" Louise shrieked.

"KIDS, GO TO SCHOOL!" Bobby yelled from somewhere in the back.

"WE'RE GOING TO SCHOOL!" Louise hollered in retort.

"WELL GO FASTER!"

"FINE!" Louise exited the building and began stomping down the path to the right.

"We… better go follow her," Tina walked out the door next.

"Alrighty then." Gene shrugged. "C'mon Ken, let's go learn things!"

"Ken? That's your name?" Linda smiled at him. "Alright Ken, you be good to my Genie."

In a surprise move, she wrapped her long skinny arms around Ken and hugged him. "Such lovely hair…" Ken heard her mumble as he followed Gene out of the door. A positive thing. About him. That was a first.

On their arrival back at Wagstaff, the first thing Ken noticed however was that his lovely seat by the window, with all its distraction and see-through-ness, was taken. By some ash-blonde girl Ken didn't recognise from yesterday.

"H-hi Gene," she slurped on her necklace, "How are you to-hey, who's your friend?"

"Hello, Courtney," Gene's voice instantly dipped. "This is Ken. He's new here, and he's my friend, not yours."

"Hello Ken," this Courtney gave him a little wave.

"You'll have to take one of the other seats, buddy," Gene said. "That one's hers. She just wasn't here yesterday."

Ken shrugged. "Fair enough."

And the usual hushed whispers began flocking about as Ken made his way to the spare seat two behind Gene. Nothing he wasn't used to, of course, but these kids were acting fast, even for gossip-mongers. Maybe there wasn't much to do in this town. Even so, he got the usual slew, including,

"What's with the hair? Who just dyes their hair gold?"

"The red eyes too? What are they, contacts?"

"He's like some kinda, ghost…"

But aside from a few furtive glances from that Courtney girl, nothing much happened in Homeroom. Science class came however, and the ponytailed teacher – also the school's gym coach, apparently – was quick to test his knowledge.

"Alright, who to ask…" he tapped a pen against his lips. "How 'bout you, new kid? What percentage of the planet is water?"

Ken flinched as if he were struck by lightning. Already the eyes were upon him, ready to pounce on his inevitable failure. It sucked being the new kid.

But a sneaky thumbs up from Gene in the corner of his eye gave him courage.

"Uhh… seventy?"

Coach Blevins narrowed his eyes. And then smiled.

"Close enough, I'll accept it."

A wave of relief washed over Ken, and he could feel the clamminess just dissolve away as the usual gossiping continued. This time however they seemed more positive,

"Wow, the new kid's actually smart?"

"Did he read that somewhere? No one just knows that, right?"

"Does he need a study partner?"

Ken allowed himself a secret smile before lowering his gaze and getting stuck into the work that was set for them.


Rumours seemed to be the flavour of the month in the school halls. Some were typical and benign, like that Mr Frond guy knitting all of his dolls so that he had someone to talk to, or that the school receptionist let a burrito explode in the microwave because she couldn't reach it from her chair. But some seemed a lot more despairing, like the kid in Gene's year – Peter something or other – who apparently disappeared?

"Yeah, apparently the cops are clueless," Ken heard one student whisper to another in the lunch hall, where he, Gene and his siblings ate together. Gene seemed overjoyed at the thought of hotdogs, but Ken dismissed this as a normal occurrence, because surely this wasn't the first time he'd seen hotdogs. Louise was quick to affirm Ken's cynicism, and Ken was forever grateful that the rest of the school day was over quickly. At least with a pen and couple of books he was able to take notes, and that made the lessons go so much quicker when you didn't have to stare out of the window for entertainment.

"Another day over!" Gene shouted as he charged out of the school gates, "and then there's only one more day, and it's the weekend! Any plans, Ken?"

"…don't know yet," Ken answered as honestly as he could. Who could make plans with Calvin 'looking after' him? The man was about as consistent as a roll of a dice.

"I see!" Gene was still peppy despite it all. "Well, in any case, if you need somewhere to hang out, why not at our place? Mom already likes you, and you've got us!"

"And we're awesome." Louise had appeared out of nowhere.

"We are?" Tina was right on her heels.

"Well maybe not you, Tina."

"Ohh…"

"Anyway Gene, what're you doing inviting strange people around our house?"

"We could never have enough strangers in our house!" Gene flounced his way across the playpark.

"We are pretty strange," Tina concurred. Louise shrugged in what Ken had to guess was agreement.

"Anyway Ken, grab a pen!" Gene had suddenly pulled back the leg of his pants, "Oop, wrong leg! Here, write your number so we can call you!"

"And text." Tina added.

"And ignore," came Louise.

"You've got a phone, right?" Gene's eyes widened.

"Uhh… yeah." Ken suddenly remembered. After scrolling through all the settings to find out what it was, he tried in vain to scrawl the number onto Gene's leg.

"A-ha! Gotcha!" The boy smirked. "Well, I'll contact you later on tonight, okay Ken?"

Gene slapped Ken on the back in some makeshift means of appreciation, and Ken could feel a strange warmth radiate from within. Light a pulsating burst of something he couldn't quite grasp, he felt his whole body lighten, almost as if lifted by something. But then all the happiness suddenly turned chilling, when an all too familiar voice began speaking directly to his mind, it seemed;

"I am thou,

Thou art I,

Thou hast acquired a new vow,

It shall become the wings of rebellion that breaketh thy chains of uncertainty,

With the birth of the Fool Persona, I have obtained the winds of blessing that shall lead to freedom and new power…"


End of Chapter Stats:

You have been able to feed Frank the Ostrich. Your Courage has increased!

You got the question correct! Your Knowledge has increased!

Your Fool Rank is currently at: One.

Acquired: Cell Phone.


Author's Notes

Here we go, some more actual Persona stuff!

Just an FYI - any time Ken does anything such as gain a stat, rank up, etc., that'll be put in an End of Chapter Stats section like the one above.

We've got this thing started properly now so hopefully that'll mean updates should roll out quite frequently.

Thanks to those that read and to those who bookmarked and favourited. It really honestly is appreciated.

Thank you and see you next time!