Title: How To Be The Perfect Girlfriend

Characters: [Buttercup, Butch]

Rating: T for Totally Teen!

Notes: Wow! Fourth Chapter already!


They were staring again. God, I hated when they did that. Just reading me like a book. Smile and wave, boys. I miss that show. I awkwardly smiled at them and they just continued to stare. What was I, a paragraph? Geez. I was about to walk past the living room but they just stopped me before I could go up the stairs. They stood right in front of the doorwat

"Well?" Blossom and Bubbles both looked at me expectantly. I gave them a weird look. What could they possibly want? I knew what I wanted. Sleep. Rest. Matulog. Schlaf. Dormire. And the word sleep in 20 other languages if 4 weren't enough.

Blossom rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. She tried to pull off an intimidating glare. Okay honey, that's my look. "What happened on the date!" Oh yeah. I had totally forgotten. My mind had been somewhere else. Just thinking. About what had happened. Not that there was anything to think about. I mean maybe there was, I had to make a decision you know and it wasn't like I could go back in time and un-hear what Butch had said- and it wasn't the easiest thing to just forgive him. I was just torn, right now and-

And I was tuning out again. "Oh yeah, it was okay." Bubbles gave me her bubblevicious glare. I knew she meant business with that one look. I had to tell them everything- if there was even anything I needed to tell. "I pissed Butch off and he broke up with me at the movie theater." -they gasped-," Then by the time I got home he was on the steps begging me to take him back and apologizing and whatever." I shrugged like it didn't matter. "No biggie." They acted like it was huge- like they had just found out the Leonardo DiCaprio and Ryan Reynolds had a baby, and that baby had just turned their age. It was crazy.

They just continued to freak out. They said a ton of stuff that totally made no sense- all I heard was a bunch of screaming and/or demonic cries.

I covered my ears and cringed. "One at a time ladies, you're both beautiful." They both rolled their eyes and I sighed. "I actually don't know what I'm gonna do. Maybe I'll forgive or maybe I won't. I don't know. Plus I'm not even-"

"That's it?!" Bubbles groaned and stomped away. I gave Blossom a questioning look and she mouthed Time of month.

Yikes. Whenever it was Bubbles' time she constantly got mad at everything and anything. Like me, but only for 3-7 days. I walked past Blossom and up the stairs to my room. My clothes were damp since I had walked in the rain. I changed into shorts and a tank top and put my hair in a towel. It had taken me at the most 20 minutes because at one point I had laid down on my bed and contemplated the meaning of life.

When I laid in bed it had taken me a while to notice that the window was open. Rain was flooding in and I cursed out loud. "Who the fuck-" I was so mad I didn't even finish my sentence. When I got up to close it I stepped on a piece of paper.

Weird. I picked it up and read it, almost ripping it because it was damp. It had a huge red heart and on the bottom Butch signed his name. Where does he find time to do this? Like honestly! How had he gone home, printed the paper, took time to write his name, come to my house, opened my window and just slid it in. It would've been amazing if he'd closed the window- but hey: he's not perfect.

I was gonna put it away but before I could I heard Blossom's voice over my shoulder. "Whatcha got there?" I almost jumped out of my shorts. It's like they have no sense of personal space whatsoever! 5 minutes of free time! All I ask!

"What the hell are you doing here!" I yelled at her. To escape any questions I had stuffed the paper in my pocket.

Blossom rose her hands and scoffed at my reaction. She looked suspicious and tried to peek at what was in my pocket. "I was just gonna tell you Mitch and Carly were here to see you, but if you're gonna freak out that's also cool." What were they doing here? If they wanted to hang out why didn't they text me first to warn me?

I went down the stairs and there they were sitting in the living room. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "What are you guys doing here?"

Carly did the same thing I did, giving me an equal glare. Excuse me! Was she trying to mock me? "We just came to hang out, it's like you totally forgot how to hang with friends. It's like-" Suddenly she stopped talking and she narrowed her eyes. "What's that?" She was pointing to the paper I had shoved into my pocket.

Oh shit. They were gonna ask questions and make assumptions and- I was just too tired for that crap. I shoved the paper deep into my pocket and tried to change the subject. "Nothing- just paper. Anyway- have you thought about filing your taxes yet?" Horrible discussion topic- but I couldn't think of anything else.

Every eye on the room was on me. Blossom from the recliner, Mitch from the couch, Carly from in front of me, and even Bubbles poked a head in from the kitchen.

Seconds passed and nothing happened, then Bubbles shrieked. "Hold her down!" And before I knew what happened Carly lunged at my legs and I fell over before I could fly up to my room.

Before I knew it Bubbles and Blossom were each holding down one of my arms and I flailed around for freedom. Mitch was the only one who wasn't betraying me. My only trusted compadre- the Mark Anthony among many Cassiuses.

"Mitch! Mitch! Help me! Help meeee! I'm dying! Help me! My own friend and family have conspired and stabbed me in the back! I'm gonna-" Bubbles used her free hand to cover my mouth which was ballsy considering it was already hard for her to hold on to my arm with two hands. That daredevil, her! I had even tried my best to bite her and lick her, just to freak her out and get her to get her hands off.

Carly started shrieking for Mitch too. Excuse me! He's my best friend! "Mitch! Grab the paper!" Before I knew it Mitch held the paper in his hands. He opened it and un-crinkled it as everyone loosened me. I wanted to glare at Carly and hit my sisters over the head but I was too busy worrying about what they would think once they saw. "What does it say?"

Mitch looked at me like a kicked puppy. "He loves you?" For some reason he looked surprised, annoyed, and disappointed. His voice even cracked. I sneered at him and everybody else who had literally just been holding me down. I snatched the paper out of his hands and rolled my eyes, almost ripping it.

"It's literally just a heart and his name. Don't read into it." I muttered the last part under my breath and shoved it back into my pocket flippantly. They made it seem like such a big deal. Carly had a hand on her chin as she thought hard and Bubs had her hands on her hips looking me over while Bloss had resumed reading on the couch. Mitch had taken a seat and was staring at me like I killed his mom. "What?" Honestly.

Bubbles took a way over exaggerated sigh and strode over to me, putting both her hands on my shoulders and making me look her in the eye. God, she knew I hated that. "Buttercup." She took another sigh and did this thing catholics do and sighed another dramatic sigh. "I hate to be the one to tell you this-" She paused and then shrugged. "Actually, no I don't, but Butch is in love with you." She was smiling widely, like it was a good thing.

Oh please. I smacked her hands away and plopped down next to Mitch. I put one leg over the other and scoffed. "Bubs, I don't want to rain on your parade-" I paused just like she had. "Oh, wait yes I do. That's not true at all- Butch and I just started dating. There's no way he does. Plus I'd break up with him if that was true." From the surprised looks on everyone's faces it wasn't the right answer. "It wasn't like we were going to get married or anything." I snorted, like it was a joke. And it was. Only like 1 percent of high school sweethearts get together- I was being realistic. Life's not some fairy tale where it's hearts and sparkles at the end.

Carly's eyebrows furrowed. "What would be so wrong with that?" What would be wrong with that actually? I guess I'd never really thought of getting married to Butch. We had literally only been together for I think a month now. I shrugged and sunk farther into the couch. By now I'd have buttcheek mark in it.

Blossom snickered behind her book and my glare immediately went to her. She gave me a smug look and placed down her book. I could've sworn she was on the same page as 10 minutes ago- but whatever. "BC. In my opinion-"

"I didn't ask." I quickly said- my glare intensifying on her.

"In my opinion." She still continued nevertheless. I couldn't help but laugh at the fact she knew I'd interrupt. "I think you and Butch would be perfect. Here's how I see it. Your wedding day. 10 years from now- 2 if you guys can't figure out birth control." I was about to give her crap about that but she continued. Everyone had laughed at that! Bubbles and Carly even settled into their seats on their floor and Mitch looked pretty interested too. I rolled my eyes anyway. I guess this would be interesting.

Buttercup glared angrily at the Caterer, almost ripping out the woman's throat. "What the hell is this?" She pointed towards the tables of food. One specifically for appetizers. "I said I wanted the mini burgers with a side of mini fries. This is mini fries with a side of one mini burger! Explain now!" Her eyes were full of fire and hatred, all directed at a sole person. It was as if the devil incarnate had come to reign it's evil, monstrous, hatred-filled, malicious, nefarious, pain and suffering with evil and torment and evil, so, so much evil. When the Caterer looked into Buttercup's eyes she only saw her own death and her burning body in the fiery pits of hell and torturous agonizing-

When everybody laughed I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. She had gone a little far with the over exaggeration. It was a little funny- and I had to admit it did sound like something I'd say, do, and influence- if I do say so myself.

The Caterer nodded and apologized quickly, running off in tears. Buttercup couldn't stop her malicious grin afterwards. But it stopped when she saw that the tower of fried chicken Butch had insisted on getting was a Leaning Tower of Fried Chicken. It went to about 10 feet high and that much oil and crumbs on the floor would kill her. She yelled up at the guy assembling the chicken and growled angrily.

"And what the hell is this?!" It almost came out as a she-devil yell. The guy stacking them almost fell off the ladder. Her glare alone was causing him heartburn. "If I wanted the leaning tower of chicken I would've asked! If even one of those drumsticks fall I will sue your ass so hard, it'll see black and blue. Fix it before I fix your face-"

Suddenly arms wrapped around her waist and a head fit perfectly between her neck and shoulder, making her gasp. She was about to start pissing again but she recognized the smell of too much cologne immediately. A smile formed on her face, getting rid of worry wrinkles. "I think you've scared him enough." He said, almost amused. He gave the fried chicken stacker an apologetic glance and he walked his fiance away from what she thought was about to be a horrible wedding. "I hope you're not reading too into this. I just wanted a small thing and suddenly we have a 10 foot tower of chicken- I know I asked for it but I was drunk and kidding. Never take me seriously!" That made her laugh. He smiled. "Just relax, okay. This wedding is going to be amazing." He turned her around and held her shoulder and gave her a light kiss. "How's that for supporting husband?" He waited patiently for a yes.

"It's almost like you didn't practice in front of a mirror." She snorted. Butch made a move to take the clipboard away from her but she was too quick. "Okay, in a sec, but first I need to check to make sure my dress arrived. And that- OH MY GOD!" She shoved everything aside and almost sprinted to the other side of the wedding hall, the side open to the garden.

"What the HELL is this?" She almost screams at the top of her lungs. Butch had run over to catch up. She was gesturing at the broken down motorcycle that had a shoddily drawn Just Married on the back. She was flipping out. "I asked for a Harley Davidson not this OBVIOUSLY knocked off version. I want you to return this god awful motorcycle immediately and get me a real one."

The guy that had brought the motorcycle in his truck looked disheveled. The hoodie he was wearing had stains and his hair was messy. " 'Scuse me miss, but I can't just return it. Chu rented it fo' two days rig't?" He was drunk. That much was obvious. She groaned and stomped her foot, tightening her grip on the clipboard.

"Return it now! Bring me a new one by the ceremony at 8!"

"But, miss I-"

"La, la, la, la! I can't hear you over the sound of you returning it! Bye! See you at 7:30-7:45 with the new motorcycle." She briskly walked away, and over to her sisters who were holding her dress in a plastic bag.

Blossom looked absolutely stunning as always- and she had had Ryan Reynolds on her side, who had been staring at her nonstop. Telling her many times that her eyes were the eyes only a god could dream of. That her curves were like the many hills of the Rocky Mountains. That her hair flowed like-

"Get to the point, Bloss." I said, interrupting her story. Bloss did this all the time- talking about her self like that. Like she was Princess Morbucks all of a sudden. She cleared her throat with a smirk and continued her story.

Bubbles smiled and showed her the dress she had ordered. "Isn't it beautiful! Butch is gonna flip when he sees you in this." Buttercup turned around, to make sure that Butch hadn't seen the dress. Luckily he hadn't because he had stayed behind to argue with the Caterer. The ice cream for the make your own sundae bar had melted and all they had salvaged was strawberry. From here (at least 300 feet away) you could hear his exasperated yells.

"Who the fuck likes Strawberry?!"

Buttercup sighed and looked over her clipboard one more time. "Everything is failing- one by one and I feel like I'm just preparing for a wedding that's going to end in disaster. The tower, the appetizers, the dessert, even the-" She stopped talking once she saw. The guy driving the truck that had the motorcycle had driven himself into the open part of the hall while backing up, almost knocking down the chicken tower. Buttercup's heart almost stopped.

"What the HELL IS THIS?" She screamed, running over as fast as her feet could go. The drunk driver was getting out and she was ready to not only beat him with her clipboard but her words too. "Is there something wrong with you?! Simple instructions! Maybe next time save the whiskey for after hours. I wanted a good wedding, I wanted cookies and cream ice cream, I wanted RIHANNA AT MY WEDDING. I wanted.." She droned on, but little did she know that behind her was the table of fried chicken and it was tilting, ready to come down.

The driver attempted to say something. "Uh, miss-" He tried pointing behind her and grabbing her attention during the rant but she had slapped away his hand sharply. It turned red and he felt like blood was spouting from his now broken appendage.

"Don't you dare interrupt me, you little fucker." Her growl came out so low and hoarse the driver knew it would be the sound of his nightmares for the rest of his life. "I want you out of here. I'm going to sue your ass for damages, for distress, for wasting my goddamn time, and my hospital visit for high blood pressure. You know I know the best lawyer in the country, my awesome sister Blossom. So I'm telling you- if one more thing goes wrong today- I'm gonna flip my shit!" A loud creaking noise sounded after her monologue and she turned around just in time to be pelleted with what looked like hundreds of thousands of chicken drumsticks that fell onto none other than Buttercup. More on more on more. It was a beating.

Or as one would say: a meating.

Then she died.

The end.

Blossom was dying with laughter at her own joke, even Bubbles was laughing a little. Mitch was hiding a chuckle and Carly was dying. The whole entire story was leading up to my death by fried chickening. I couldn't help but laugh along with her. Bloss was annoying but at times she had her charms

Were they crazy? How was my death hilarious! "How is that romantic? That's what you think when you imagine me and Butch's wedding?" Instead of listening at all Bubbles stood up smiling. She was raising her hand and jumping up and down like she used to do when she needed to pee.

"Ooh, ooh my turn! I wanna tell a story."

When the hell did this become a thing? I groaned and rolled my eyes, about to take a nap in my room. "BC, aren't you gonna stay for the stories? They're hilarious."

"I'm tired, and you guys are annoying me more than usual. By the way, Mitch mall tomorrow?" He nodded, then turned back to his phone.

Blossom furrowed her eyebrows. "Aren't you going to hang out with Butch tomorrow?"

I gave her a look. "Uh, no. Butch, his brothers, and Mojo are doing something all day tomorrow." I started laughing," You really don't know what your boyfriends are doing? Wow, good relationships, huh." They just looked at me funny, kinda with what looked like pity?

Bubbles gave me a weird look. "Boomer and I are hanging out all day tomorrow."

"Weird." Blossom added,"Brick and I are going to the movies and cuddling in front of the TV all day tomorrow too." She made an awkward face. Yeah, they were gonna have sex. She thinks she's so smart- hiding it like that. Nah. They were cuddling tomorrow all right- with no clothes."Butch lied to you. What do you think he's doing?" She paused. I was already making my way out of the living room. "What are you gonna do?" Too many questions. My brain hurt. I was tired. Right now I just wanted sleep.

My eyes were burning for some reason, and I felt my face get warmer too. I think the Professor's been putting the heat up- why else would I feel so hot all of a sudden. I cleared my throat and shrugged, like it didn't matter. And it didn't. Didn't matter at all that Butch had lied. No matter. It was totally cool too. Why did it feel like I was convincing myself?

"I'm just gonna get some shut eye. It's getting late." I glanced at the time and it was only 6. I was known for staying up late. I added a fake yawn, just to make sure they believed me. I'm not sure they did because all I got were pity looks.

Carly gave a dry smile. "Night. Hope you and Mitch have fun tomorrow."

"You're not coming?" I asked. If it was only Mitch and I then we could also go to that new arcade- Carly was always too girly for that.

"Date with Brad." I nodded and left the room. When I was walking up the stairs I heard a bunch of hushed whispers. No doubt they were talking about it. I groaned and continued walking up the stairs until I reached my bed. Then I plopped face first into my pillow and wallowed.

I pulled out my phone ready to play Jetpack Joyride and/or Subway Surfers. But I saw a few texts from Butch. That made me want to curl up in my bed and just sleep.

So I did.


I liked writing this. My favorite part to write was Blossom's telling of BC's wedding. I got that part from the movie Over Her Dead Body- WHICH I LOVED AND RECOMMEND!

Anyway- Blues story coming out soon. :D Probably a one-shot, unless I decide on something.

You'll get it later!

KAY BYE!