A/N: I finally got inspiration! After a long wait, chapter three of the sickness is everywhere! I bet you can't wait, can you? No, I rather think you can't.

Anyhow, enjoy this long-awaited chapter!

Disclaimer: Don't own IZ.

The screen flashes on and off, the bright light contrasting with the darkness around me causes me to squint. I click a few random buttons. When am I supposed to hear from the Tallest? They hired me to do away with the blue planet long ago, but I'm still awaiting word.

I flick away a broken button, and sigh, leaning back heavily into my chair. My scans on the mainly targeted town shows a sign of a strange virus spreading slowly. It looks under-developed, but diseases aren't my specialty.

I rise slowly and move to the weapon chamber, as has been my habit lately. The cool surfaces of the guns and destruction devices always occupy me. The code is easy to remember: JumJum must die. Not that I'll ever get another chance to kill him. This just helps me remember my failiure. That bastard has to be long gone by now.

Each gun sits on an individual shelf, covering every wall is a surplus of guns. Every shelf is full, and each weapon looks more dangerous than the last as you proceed onward. This isn't the room I want to be in, though. I move through the guns, my girth making it hard to maneuver passed the tables set periodically throughout the hall-like room. This was easier when I first designed the room. Guess I let myself go a little. When you don't have anything to do, it get's easy to let that happen.

Finally reaching the door at the end, panting and tired already, I enter the next password: Never forget JumJum. The door slides open, and I'm greeted by the familiar huge stretch of tiles. The room is extremely large, and very sterile. not even dust has occumulated over the years, my computer set to auto-clean the place every few hours. I could never let my death machines get dirty, could I?

Covering the walls, and most of the floor are various machines of mass destruction, each wilder than any Irken would ever imagine. If any invader were let loose in this room, it would be like paradise on Irk. Or, rather, a slice of paradise in the middle of a cold, vacuum such as space. The one I'm looking for is near the back. It hasn't been used in so long. It's been so long since I've just gone free, let my assassin instincts take over and just gone wild. So many will die this time...yes....

The chrome-colored machine towers above the others. It's balanced on four thick, yet graceful legs, guns concealed on almost every inch of its surface. I let my clawed hand move over its surface lovingly, and sigh wistfully.

When will I get to use this?

-----

There is a knock at the door. Again?

"Ugh...get it, will you?" I snap angrily as Pur goes through yet another bag of popcorn, once again letting me take care of things. I'm always the responsible one, and it's making me sick.

"Y-yes, my Tallest!" cries a random drone as I turn back to the screen. He should have finished the damn report by now! What's this news he has for me? What was he saying last time about Zim? This is so infuriating! I am TALLEST! I deserve to know why that dreadful planet full of TALL idiots--I couldn't believe it either!--has yet to be destroyed!

"Pur!" I snap, causing him--to my pleasure--to jump and choke slightly on his popcorn. After clearing his throat, he glances at me questioningly.

"What?" I smirk angrily at him just as a rather flustered voice addresses us.

"M-my Tallest Red and Purple?" says a timid voice. I whip around, still angry, and see the guard once again standing before me. He'll have to boil for this.

"What do you want?" I ask coldly, quite forgetting that I'd asked him to get the door. He cowers, and clears his throat nervously.

"D...diplomat Flo has requested to see you, sirs," Again! SIRS! My anger reaches its peak, and I make a sharp gesture towards the other guards, telling them to come over. They do as asked, and line up on either side of the cowering idiot.

"Take him to be boiled, and ask no questions! I'm in a fowl mood right now," I say darkly, and watch indifferently as they drag him away, "Send Flo in when you pass her!" I call after them, and turn sharply to face Pur angrily. He is oblivious to my anger, shoving a hand full of popcorn into his already full mouth and swallowing.

"You can't just keep boiling people, Red, it's unheard of," he says, closing one eye, and staring into his bag of popcorn as if it had a vital secret to tell him, "Think of something new--what about stripping the flesh from bone? That's one of my favorites!" he throws away the empty bag, to be caught by our servant drone, and taken away. I sigh, remembering why exactly I tolerate Pur.

"Maybe next time," I mumble, eyeing a nervous messenger. He starts, and quickly acts as though he's doing something, but drops his computer. I flash him a grin, causing him to whimper and run away, completely forgetting the computer on the ground. Yeah...maybe next time.

"Goo Sha*, My Tallest," Flo addresses us from the ground, staring up at our platform.

"Goo Sh--"

"--oo Sha!"

I stare at Pur, who is staring at me. He bursts out laughing, but I don't, merely giving him a cool glare, and turning back to face Flo.

"What do you need, Flo?" I ask, my horrible mood seeping into my voice. Flo starts, as if I had slapped her. Well...that was entertaining.

"Yes, well, if this is a bad time, I can trouble you with this later--" the troublesome, tall, INGRATE! I glower at her, but much to my distaste, Pur speaks up as if he speaks for both of us. As if we're equals.

"No, not at all! Go right ahead, Flo!" I hover away to let Pur deal with something for once. As soon as I'm out of hearing range, I start smashing things and spilling things over. DAMN EVERYTHING!

"WHY OF COURSE--FLO--WHO IS STANDING RIGHT HERE, ASKING TO GO TO EARTH! VERY TALL--ERR--EXPERIENCED FLO--WANTS TO GO TO EARTH!" Pur suddenly shouts from across the room. I turn to stare, but then catch his meaning. My mood sudden;y lifts, and I hover back over, grinning kindly.

"Does she, now?" I ask innocently. She looks very confused, "I don't know, Flo, I just don't think--" A message pops up on our screen. THE REPORT! This is getting better and better! I turn away and wave for Pur to stall her as I go through it. Oh my. This is delicious. Just extremely delicious. Not only would we have grounds to execute Flo, we could do it at the same time that we destroy that bothersome planet--with that idiot exile all rolled up in one.

"...and I was all like, 'Huh?! HUH?!' because, you know, it was just so unbelieveabl--"

"I think Flo should be able to take a trip to Earth," I cut in to Pur's story. Flo looks extremely relieved, and happy, "Just tell me, Flo..." I grin mischeviously, "what is the reason for your visit?"

The line comes out--obviously well rehearsed, "Sight-seeing!" I smile.

"Then go ahead and get ready, you have our permission to go!" I say cheerfully, as Pur hovers away to grab another bag of popcorn. Flo bows deeply.

"Thank you, sirs! Fay Lit!*" And she runs off. I'm in such a good mood, I don't even care that she thanked Pur as well. I turn around--to see Pur, staring open-mouthed at the screen.

"She isn't..!" he murmurs, and I start laughing.

"Do you know what this MEANS, Pur?" I hiss excitedly, and he grins at me--obviously catching on, "Have a few servents write up her obituary--get someone to deem her deceased in the system," I say, grinning at the report now.

"Sure thing!" he cries excitedly. And--BAM! Our biggest competition is gone. As soon as she leaves, there will have been no such thing as 'Diplomat Flo' any longer. Purple and I will make a public announcement that she has died, we'll even make a big deal about it--and pretend to care.

He will get a large reward for this--he has done well...

...this Bow.

He gained her trust gradually, and pulled off the biggest double-cross I've ever seen. Well--so far. I stare after Pur emotionless.

The next has yet to come.

WEWT! FINALLY! Kinda short, but I wanted to leave it there for now--but I'll update soon. Man, this is finally GOING somewhere!!

*Goo Sha - Irken equivalent to 'A very good day,' Extremely formal and only used to address those in high ranks. The reason Pur and Red address her this way is to be sarcastic. However, they spoke over each other, so the effect was lost. (fan-made)

*Fay Lit - Irken equivalent to 'And many more,' A common, yet very formal way to say 'Good bye.' (fan made)