Paper Plane
By: Lady Lithe
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Naru-chan: Thanks everyone for the wonderful reviews! Sorry about the cliffhanger, but here is the next installment. I forgot to mention -- I began this story before DH came out so there's a lot that's not cannon, especially this chapter. Hope you enjoy.
Chapter Four: Breaking For You
Love has ended for me… How can you stand beside me and pretend not to remember? Not to know that my heart is breaking for you? – Wuthering Heights
Harry was exuberant. He dumped his belongings boisterously by the door and rushed around the bedroom. It was perfect. It was just large enough - nothing too big though. He flung open the pale curtains, letting the sunlight flood the room. The view was great. Just what he wanted! He could see the fluffy white clouds sailing over the bright sky. It was a sky like no other. It literally was tinted the color pink. It was like looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. Then if he looked down, he could see all the people walking and chatting. The boulevards were nothing less than beautiful.
He shoved open the window and grinned as the wind breezed past him. He could smell the redolence in the air of fresh bread and coffee. They were calming scents, but it only made him more eager.
This was a new place – a foreign place, but that only meant that he had to explore it until it was familiar. He could see himself settling here or coming back again and again. At this moment, he couldn't imagine anywhere else he wanted to be.
France was such a lovely place.
His heart hammered in his chest with excitement. What should he do first? There was so much to do, so much to see. And the best part was that there was nothing he couldn't do. He had no chaperones. There was no danger. Only endless opportunities. And all of them were safe, worry-free, and normal.
"What should we do first, Gin-" he spun around happily, but then abruptly stopped.
There was only silence.
His first impulse was to run. Run as fast and far as his legs could take him. His worst fear had come true. She didn't want to see him. She didn't want to see him at all. She wasn't smiling. He wasn't ready. He hadn't prepared himself well enough. This wasn't the right time. This deafening silence that had fallen over the stunned crowd unhinged him. He had to get the hell away from here.
But just as he was about to turn, there was another loud pop behind him.
"Ron, I told you that the tickets were–" a female voice halted abruptly.
"Blame it on Fred and George who –!" a masculine voice replied.
"Harry!"
He felt himself being spun around and arms wrap themselves around his neck. He let out a relieved laugh that somehow came out more like a strangled sob. At least Hermione was still the same. At least Hermione still wanted to see him. He clung onto her as if she were his last connection to sanity. He buried his face into her bushy brown hair, comforted by the familiar scent of parchment and ink that washed over him. And though he could feel her sobbing against him, he wasn't sure if he was holding her or if she was holding him.
"Blimey! Is that really you, Harry?" Ron spoke up in a choked voice filled with disbelief.
Harry slowly lifted his head to look over at his other best friend, whose cobalt eyes trembled. Harry hesitantly smiled before he nodded. Hermione detangled herself from him, still wiping her flushed face, to let Harry approach his tall, redheaded friend. They looked at each other for a moment, taking the other's appearance in. Harry could have sworn that Ron's eyes were watery, but he couldn't say much to his own defense either.
"It's good to see you," Ron said gruffly, grabbing Harry into a hug.
"It's good to be back," Harry answered. Ron…his first friend he made on the Hogwarts Express. His best friend. How could they have parted for so long?
"Harry!" a choked sob suddenly cried out from an openly weeping Mrs. Weasley, breaking the moment between Harry and Ron. Mr. Weasley patted her shoulder comfortingly, though he too sniffed loudly.
"Harry, mate!" George and Fred chorused with them.
"We've missed you Harry," Lupin spoke up, his kind and tired smile gracing his older face. Tonks (with her ever-pink hair) by his side, nodded in agreement. Harry took from their entwined arms that they had managed their relationship.
Soon the crowd of them surrounded Harry, welcoming all at once, and he almost felt like crying as they all welcomed him back as if he had never been gone. As if he was still a part of the Weasley family – the only family he had ever known.
Hesitantly, he slowly turned to look at her. His heart was beating so fast that it hurt as he took her in. The glossy crimson hair…the pale skin with its endless freckles…but he couldn't get enough. She didn't step forward toward him, but she didn't step away either. The look on her face was neither happy nor angry.
It was the look of a stranger.
"Hello Harry," was all she said. He felt the two words reverberate in his ears and he suddenly felt overwhelmed. Her voice. Sometime along the line his memory had slightly distorted it. It was lower…huskier…but the ringing softness and warmth was still there. He couldn't speak. He couldn't breathe. And the memories flooded him, as if the hermetic lid had been unsealed and nothing could stop it from overflowing.
She pressed her feverish lips against his, not caring that she would taste blood. He could feel her tears flow down her cheeks onto his.
"I love you," he croaked.
She gave him a watery smile as she pushed away a stray lock of black hair.
"I love you too, Harry."
His daze, however, was broken when a sudden high-pitched voice asked, "Mum, is he Harry Potter?"
Harry couldn't help but laugh a bit breathlessly for he had been holding his breath without realizing it. He blinked away the tears that had formed near his eyes. He turned to where the voice came from. It was a small redheaded girl, her hair tied up in pigtails. But though her hair was the red, her face was smooth and pale, not covered with the famous Weasley freckles. Her eyes were a light, expressive blue. Harry kneeled down and smiled at her. She was definitely Bill and Fleur's daughter.
"Hi there," he said softly, holding out his hand, which she hesitantly took. "Yes, I am Harry Potter. What's your name?"
She blushed shyly and for a moment his heart clenched. She looked so much like a young Ginny…
"Ciel."
"It's nice to finally meet you, Ciel."
Then before he knew it, he was being dragged inside. He was amazed at the comfy home Ron and Hermione lived in. He momentarily paused at the fireplace. Pictures hung there. Pictures full of all the family, pictures of weddings past, pictures of the children. Pictures with Harry.
"We kept them of course."
Harry turned to this female voice. Hermione and Ron had walked up beside him. The three of them all looked at each other again, smiling timidly.
"It means a lot," Harry replied.
"I can't believe you actually came back. Why didn't you tell us you were coming?" Hermione asked, taking Harry's hand in her own. He smiled at this comforting gesture and squeezed hers gently. There was no bossiness in her voice as there used to be. He almost wished there was. He knew she didn't want to push him away before he had really arrived.
"I don't know why exactly," he explained softly and honestly. He turned his gaze over to Bill, who still had his long hair, and Fleur, who was still beautiful, as the two of them took care of their three children. "I wasn't sure I wanted to come back. But I didn't allow myself to think. And here I am."
"Are you…are you planning to stay?" she pressed hesitantly.
"I…" Harry trailed off. His eyes unconsciously scanned the room for a certain redhead. Her back was towards him in a corner as she spoke with Tonks. He was terribly conscious that she had not really spoken to him.
"I don't care whatever reason you're here, and I don't care that you didn't contact us before coming. Hell, I don't care that I haven't seen you in seven blasted years," Ron said fiercely, his hand on Harry's shoulder. It had been a long time since Harry had allowed himself to be touched without his verbal consent and it felt good. "What matters is that you're here now."
"Thanks, Ron," Harry said, and he meant it.
"Harry!" Fred grabbed the raven-haired young man around the shoulder and spun him around, away from Hermione and Ron. Harry couldn't help but smile as George looped an arm around his other shoulder.
"Sit!" George said.
"Drink," Fred lifted a cup to Harry's face, and Harry had a hunch it was something stronger than butterbeer.
"Eat," George held up a plate of food under Harry's nose. "Be merry!"
"You two haven't grown up a bit," Harry chuckled, and he was relieved for this fact. At least the two redheaded identical twins had not changed. They were still the fun-loving pranksters they had always been. "How's the shop going?"
"Great. Business is booming. We've opened two separate branches," George grinned.
"And none of it would have ever happened if it hadn't been for you," Fred nodded firmly. "We'll never forget that, Harry."
"It was nothing," Harry replied uncomfortably. "How many times do I have to tell you?"
"Visit us anytime."
"You know we're here for you."
Harry looked down at the floor.
"Even…" Fred said hesitantly.
"Even," George finished softly, patting Harry's shoulder.
Somehow Harry's eyes had trailed to Ginny's back.
The two of them left a Harry to chew over this as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley advanced toward him. They were visibly older, Harry noted sadly, with much more white hair laced in their vibrant red hair, but they still had their same warm and loving faces. He wondered for a moment if this was going to be awkward, but this thought was silenced when Mrs. Weasley grabbed him into a bear hug. He remembered now…the woman who had always been like a mother to him.
"Harry…" she pulled away, her eyes glistening with tears. "You're finally home."
"Our son has finally returned to us," Mr. Weasley smiled. A lump formed at Harry's throat at this comment. They had always treated him like their son.
"I can never replace him," Harry said gruffly. An image of the mangled body flashed in his mind. He hadn't been able to save him.
"No one can replace Percy," Mrs. Weasley said softly. But seven years has helped her accept the facts. And suddenly she looked so much older to him. "But no one can replace you either."
"It was never your fault," Mr. Weasley said. Harry recognized the old firmness in his voice. "So don't leave because of that."
"I don't intend for him to get away again," Mrs. Weasley stated resolutely as she sniffed. "You haven't been eating, have you? You're nothing but skin and bones!"
"I've been eating fine," Harry smiled warmly at her. "But I've missed your cooking dreadfully. No one's ever made Treacle Tarts like you have."
She blushed a rosy red with pleasure. She placed a hand on his arm. "You know you're welcome to come home to the Burrow anytime."
He swallowed hard and bowed his head. "Thank you."
"Our turn," chimed Charlie, with the brunette by his side, and a set of redheaded twins, one on his right and one on her left. He smiled at Harry as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley walked over to Ron and Hermione, who were being teased by the twins. "Welcome back."
"Charlie," Harry smiled in return.
"You haven't met my wife, have you?" he asked. The brunette smiled kindly. "This is Annie."
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you," she said, shaking Harry's hand.
"It's a pleasure to meet the woman who finally got Charlie to settle down," he laughed. "Does he still chase dragons?"
"Yes," she giggled. "But he's much more careful now."
"And who are these two?" he smiled down at the twins. The two boys grinned back at him mischievously.
"I swear these little devils are the next Fred and George!" Charlie joked exasperatedly as he lifted the one closer to him. The little boy giggled at his father and only proceeded to yank on his father's hair. "Ow! This little guy's Ben."
"And this one's Matt," Annie said, ruffling the redhead by her side.
"We've heard all about you!" Ben stated, looking at Harry through his brown eyes.
"How you even battled a Hungarian Horntail!" Matt added. The two of them looked at Harry with eyes shining with respect.
"You're like Dad!"
"And no one else is like Dad! He's like the awesomest of the awesome! So you're like…whoa!"
"Don't mind these two," Charlie blushed as Harry laughed.
"But it's true!" Matt objected.
"Yeah! Auntie Ginny even said he had one tattooed on his chest!"
Harry's heart stopped at the mention of her name, even with the foreign title before it. His dark green eyes flickered around the room again.
"Did she?" he said, clearing his suddenly arid throat. A whole river wouldn't be able to quench his thirst.
"She was only kidding, silly," Annie pinched Ben's cheeks lightly.
"Come on, we better go congratulate Ron and Hermione," Charlie said. He smiled at Harry before they left. Harry ran a hand through his disheveled black hair and was just about to sigh when a voice behind him caused him to jump.
"Looking for her, are you?"
Luna Lovegood had materialized behind him. She handed him a butterbeer and as he calmed himself from being waylaid. He took it with a small, unsure smile. Luna hadn't changed at all. Even though she was getting married in a month, she still wore large vegetables as jewelry. Her wide, blue eyes still gazed through him dreamily.
"Hello, Harry," she said simply.
"Hi Luna," he answered. "Looking…for who?"
"Who else?" she said, a lazy smile stretched across her pale face as her wide eyes leisurely scanned his face. "You've changed Harry. You've fallen deeper haven't you? All this time, you've been the one going out and saving people. Now you're waiting for her save you."
"What are you talking about?" He wiped his damp hands over his trainers.
"Your eyes. They're darker than before. At first I didn't recognize you. But then again, she was always the light for you. Your eyes are still looking for her."
"How…how is she?" he asked uneasily as he took a swig of his drink. He didn't like it when Luna looked into him like that. He quite disliked it, for it left him more shaken than he wanted to be, but he refrained himself from expressing this vexation. He felt the warm liquid flow down his dry throat, but it didn't warm him up like it used to. Instead, he simply felt cold. In a way, he didn't want to know the answer to his own question. He didn't want to know if she was still single or engaged or – he swallowed hard – married.
"Good," Luna answered vaguely, her wide blue eyes staring blankly ahead.
"Oh," he said. He felt a twinge of disappointment as this hazy answer.
"Everyone's so lovely here. One big family. Eric was accepted."
"Eric?" For a second, Harry panicked. This Eric wasn't Ginny's was he?
"My fiancée," she said, still smiling. "He writes for the Quibbler as well. He sees the Wisters too. You know, the creatures of the white and blue clan of Zutonsets."
Harry let his gaze travel around the warm and cozy room as Luna continued speaking. How was it that he had managed to stay away? Looking at his best friends'…first friends' faces brought back so many memories. It was good. It truly was good to be back. Even Luna's blather was welcoming.
And the Weasley family as a whole. They all wanted him back. That is, except Ginny. He knew she didn't want to speak to him. He knew that she just wanted him to just leave her life as it was. And he knew that the only reason she had even spoken to him was to show him that she could and that she wasn't bothered at the least by his reappearance. Maybe it was beyond his wildest dreams, but he still secretly hoped that she truly was. And he hoped that she really was bothered – because that would mean that there was still a tiny ounce of caring that she had for him. But it didn't look like it.
Then again, how could he blame her? He didn't deserve her anymore.
But that didn't change the fact that he still needed her.
Harry had learned over the years that he wasn't a very brave man. When it came to saving people and fighting demons like Voldemort, then yes, he did have courage. He always felt, in some way, that the lives he was protecting were more important than his own. In a heartbeat, he would risk his life for another's. But when it came to facing Ginny Weasley, the one that could hurt and destroy him more than any battle...
She was so close. Within his reach. Closer than she had been for years. But she was no longer his to touch. Was no longer his to hold.
He stared down at his butterbeer, wishing for some FireWhiskey. His murky reflection shined back at him in the gold and yellow drink, and he sighed.
He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to hear her voice again, even if for just a moment. He wanted to see her real brown eyes. He wanted...
His hand clenched over his drink. This wasn't about what he wanted! His selfish wishes were the reason he was in this mess to begin with. If had taken the time to think about her wants, her wishes…he wouldn't be here now. However, if he didn't move forward, he would never go anywhere.
He took a huge swig of his drink, leaving it empty before he set it down on the table beside him.
"Excuse me," he muttered to Luna, who didn't very much mind being left, with his eyes set on a long mane of scarlet hair.
He bet she knew that he was coming, but she gave no sign of it. Instead, she continued to converse with Bill, who suddenly looked rather nervous at Harry's approach. He stopped right behind her, but she still continued to ignore him. His heart quivered. He prayed that this was going to go smoother than he could honestly hope for.
"Ginny. Can I talk to you?"
Naru-chan: ...And you thought the last cliffhanger was bad. Now I bet you all want to kill me. Well...don't or you'll never get the next chapter! :O So please review and tell me your thoughts! I love hearing from all of you! :)
