A/N: Readers, thank you for sticking with me! I do apologize if there are errors, as I'm editing the story by myself. If you see anything wrong, please let me know. I've skimmed through it but nothing really caught my eye so I assume everything's fine. I swear, I need a beta reader or something.

Anyways, this chapter took a bit longer than intended as getting all my ideas down was a bit more complicated this time. There was alot of erasing and retyping! Hopefully I'll have the drive to finish this whole story before I run out of fuel (I tend to do that).


Shepard woke up with a start. Gasping for air, she quickly sat up, alert and dazed with no idea of where she was now.

"Easy now dear," proclaimed a soothing voice, and Shepard quickly looked around for the source.

Chakwas. She felt a surge of relief wash over her. I'm back. I'm home. Letting out a sight, she slowly ran her hands over her face, covering her eyes in respite. The feeling of her claws against her hardened carapace reminded her that she was still a Turian, and although she wished it had just been a nightmare, this was reality. She managed a small sob as it dawned on her.

She felt Chakwas walk up next to her and rub her back comfortingly, trying to calm her down. "Welcome back..." the doctor slowly whispered, and after a pause, Chakwas decided to venture forth, "Shepard."

Shepard could only manage a nod as she withdrew her feet close to her body.

"Karin... you have no idea how good it is to see a familiar face again."

Noting that the patient responded to the name, Chakwas breathed out a sigh of relief. She didn't doubt EDI, but she knew Kaiden's worries are warranted. However, who was she to judge? As a doctor on the Normandy with the commander for years, she's seen the impossible happen so for her friend to suddenly change into a Turian... well somehow that's not as unbelievable as she would make it. For now, this was enough to convince her that the Turian was indeed her commander, her friend.

"You're safe now dear. Kaiden, Vega, and EDI managed to-"

Shepard gasped, "Garrus! Chakwas, where's Garrus and Tali?" She tried to get off of the bed but was met with firm resistance of the doctor holding her down. "They were with me Karin! I saw them fall before I blacked out!"

Chakwas held Shepard down, drawing her in into an embrace, "Shh shh, it's ok Shepard, they're fine." She could feel Shepard's tension fade away. Pulling away, Chakwas held her at an arm's length and smiled, "In fact, they're all in the war room having a squad meeting. Trust me, those friends of yours are hardier than you think they are. Bullet hole ridden but still alive and kicking."

Shepard's mandibles slackened in relief. They're alive. Garrus is alive. That bastard doctor was lying. Suddenly, a flash of fear found itself back into her head.

"Were they..." she gulped, "experimented on too?"

Chakwas looked at her with a face full of pity. Shepard hated that but she wasn't in the mood to be a smartass. "Not to worry commander. They're fine. Garrus is still the stubborn Turian you know and Tali... well, other than a few minor infections from the bullet wounds she's perfectly fine."

Shepard flopped back into the medical bed she was in. So I'm the only one Cerberus wanted... She wasn't sure how to take it. It was great that her squadmates were safe, especially her mate... She couldn't imagine losing him. An image of Garrus lying in a pool of blue blood on omega flashed through her mind. She shuddered.

However, because Cerberus had beef with her, they've somehow singlehandedly completely ruined her plans. How was she going to talk to Hackett? What will Andersen think? Hell, will the council even back her anymore?

Will I still be Commander Shepard?

Her thoughts were interrupted by Chakwas pulling out a box from under her desk and rummaging through its contents. "Speaking of your squadmates commander, Garrus stopped by earlier before heading to the meeting to drop off some clothes for you." Pulling out some clothes, Shepard immediately recognized it as one of Garrus's civilian clothing. "Can't let you see everyone naked, can we?" The doctor chuckled, "You're lucky we have a Turian on board... especially one that cares for you like this."

If Shepard could blush she would be beet red. She always got a bit flushed when others spoke of her relationship, especially with the Normandy crew grinning whenever they were being affectionate. It wasn't much of a secret anymore after she personally changed his room arrangements to bunk with her, but she still liked to think it was.

Grabbing the offered clothes, Shepard started her attempt on donning the alien clothing. After seeing Garrus slip in and out of his wear so many times, she was surprised at how much trouble she was having. The long sleeved upper top was a breeze, but the pants...

She found herself awkwardly attempting to pull the legs over her spurs. She swore she was going to rip it if she exerted any more force. "Uh... doc?"

Chakwas looked over and chuckled. Luckily she has examined enough ranges of species to understand how their basic wear works. "The secret to the leg spurs commander," she said as she twisted the garments around, "is to angle it until both sides line up to the looser ends. Then-" with a strong pull the doctor fit the spikes into the grooves snugly, "just like that."

"Mirror... do you have a mirror Chakwas? I... I never got the chance to see my own face."

Immediatly a small mirror was placed into her three fingered hands.

"We usually don't keep one in the medbay, but that one's my own. I know it's not a full body mirror but it'll do."

Shepard nodded in response, thanking the doctor and quickly glanced down.

A stranger stared back. The eyes were green, just as it was when she was human, but the irises looked different, almost more... feral. Taking a talon to her face, she gently traced her mandibles on her sides, clicking them experimentally. It didn't have much wide of a movement as she thought it did, at least, not as flexible as Garrus made it. Her mouth... well, hell, her mouth was something else. It didn't seem like the sides closed at all, relying on the mandibles for protection and cover. The teeth that it encased were razor sharp, reminding her of a fearsome raptor. Swishing her mouth around with her new blue tongue, she flinched as she accidentally cut it. Damn, these teeth are dangerous. Sticking out her tongue, she noticed the foreign color that's oozing slowly from the wound.

Blue blood.

Goddamn, it looked like she was a Turian, through and through. Moving up, she rubbed the tip of her fringe. It didn't look like it was as long as Garrus's but it was long enough to cover the majority of her scalp. She took in a deep breath.

This is it. This is me. Although her face didn't show it, she was holding back tears. After waking up every morning to the same face in the mirror, she's now forced to completely change her identity. Not to mention that new flanging voice too, she sordidly told herself. She has seen enough. Giving the mirror back, she looked down at her bird-like feet and sighed.

"This body's going to be the end of me, Karin... any clues to if this is reversible or not?"

To her despair, the older woman's face took a grim turn and strained a small smile, "Afraid not at this moment. Perhaps if we retrieve more of Cerberus's experiment logs..."

Shepard quickly changed the subject, "Where's Garrus? Can I see him yet?" She didn't want to feel sorry for herself. Yet.

Chakwas nodded and activated her omnitool.

"Major, she's gaining up." Taking a quick glance at Shepard, she leaned in closer to her wrist and added, "She's also asking for you, Officer Vakarian."

-oooooooo-

The medbay doors opened swiftly as a dozen figures came pouring in. Garrus was the first one in as he forced his way into the front. Catching the sight of Shepard, he rushed to her and gingerly took her hands into his.

"Shepard." He couldn't help but manage a Turian grin, opening his jaws and puffing his mandibles out. He noticed his lover return the same gesture. Shepard slid off the bed hugged him, placing her head onto his shoulders. Flinching, Garrus gingerly returned the sentiment. "Not so hard commander, those bullet wounds still hurt like hell."

"They told me you and Tali were dead, Garrus."

"Well, here you are, hugging me and wearing my old clothes."

Shepard couldn't help but chuckle at that. Pulling away, she scanned the crowd, looking for the familiar purple clothed Quarian.

"Tali!" They both embraced, glad to see each other alive. Tali took a good long look at Shepard before reaching down and gently clasping her hands.

"Shepard, I'm so sorry, " she whispered, "It pains me to see what they've done to you."

"As long as we're all alive," Shepard strained. She couldn't deny that she wasn't bothered by the change, but she felt the need to remain strong in front of her crew. Turning around, she noticed how the rest of the crew still seemed to be uneasy. "Well? What are you all gawking at? I'm still me."

It was Vega who piped up. "No doubt, Lola, but the squad meeting we just had-"

"Brought up reasonable concerns that we still must look into," Kaiden cut in, boring his eyes into Shepard, "as the Alliance Major of this ship commander, I took the liberties to run things while you and Garrus were unavailable for duty. However, in the squad meeting we just had now, Liara and EDI brought up troublesome points."

The Asari stepped forward, her face serious, "To say it straight Shepard, we still have doubts on Cerberus and their actions... particularly on your identification."

Shepard couldn't believe what she was hearing. Standing in the medbay, she suddenly felt like she was put onto trial. Her crew, the very crew that had stuck together through so many years, was actually doubting her.

"So you're unsure that I'm Shepard, is that correct?"

"Not exactly-"

"What proof do you want? I still have my implants in me."

"We're not asking for proof," Kaiden interjected, "but I just feel that it would be better if we air on the safer side and have you lay low a bit until we get this whole thing sorted out."

"For god's sake guys, I've just got my humanity completely robbed from me and now you're trying to take away my ship?" She flung her hands into the air, making annoyed clicking sounds with her teeth. She stared straight back at the crowd that stood at the doorway, daring them to speak. All avoided her gaze.

Shepard sighed. "It's fine. I understand. It's good to suspect, escpecially when Cerberus is involved." Her flanging voice was warbling. Hands shifting to her chest, a sense of betrayal was bubbling up and she suddenly felt the need to cry.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. Twisting around, she saw Garrus looking down at her, a pitying look in his eyes. She growled.

"I'm going into my cabin. Let me know when you've got this-" Shepard waved her claws at herself "-situation figured out." Forcing her way through, she stormed out the medbay door only to shortly hear her mate's voice call out her name.

"Shepard! Wait!"

She didn't bother turning around.

"Jane!"

His calls fell on deaf ears as the elevator door sealed shut.

-oooooooo-

Garrus cursed himself for not stopping Kaiden from pressing Shepard on the issue. He turned around, only to see the crew still standing at the medbay door, staring at him.

"Really Kaiden? Did you just have to tell her all that CRAP just NOW?"

The crewmembers that happened to be in the mess hall were quickly shuffling away, sensing a confrontation. The Turian marched up to the human and stared down at him, eyes narrowed.

"I've already told you, It's HER."

Liara stepped in between, pushing both men aside. "Garrus, we all knew that this had to come out sooner or later. EDI and I will try to get more info out of Cerberus as soon as possible. With my Shadow Broker contacts-"

"Screw your contacts Liara! You of all people too! If you were going to tell her that bullshit you didn't have to be that harsh! Years before you would've trusted Shepard in a heartbeat, but now..." He glanced at her, surveying her body from head to toe, "you've changed."

Taken aback, Liara dropped her hands. For a moment, her cool composure was shaken, but just as fast, her face quickly hid her shock and she strained a half smile at Garrus. She shook her head and stepped away.

"Either way. I'll be in my room, researching. For Shepard's sake." As she crossed the mess hall and disappeared into her room, Garrus turned back to Kaiden and glared.

"Kaiden, I thank you for saving me and Tali's ass, but know your limits," he growled. "She's already been hurt by your doubt before, and she doesn't need a repeat act."

Kaiden opened his mouth and closed it. He didn't think about that. Damnit Alenko, he told himself as he watched Garrus storm away, you just wanted to be on good grounds again. His mouth felt dry. Perhaps he did come off a bit too harsly. However, was he wrong to doubt the situation? To have someone completely change species was just too... unlikely.

He shook his head. He just wanted to look out for the team.

-oooooooo-

The shower didn't feel the same. As the hot water ran off of her body, Shepard couldn't help but feel disgusted at her new self. The gentle beating of the showerhead against her body was not as soothing anymore, the water tinking against her metallic plates felt hollow, its force felt detached as the droplets merely rolled off like rain against steel. Usually a nice shower would calm her down, but all she could feel as a seething anger and disgust at the recent turn of events. It felt like all of her investment of trust into her crew has been disintegrated within an instant, and it as all because of this damn body. Her tears streamed out of her eyes, mixing with the rolling beads of water raining down from above.

So Turians can cry. She sniffed as she hugged herself, slowly rubbing the spikey ridges protruding from her elbow. Glancing down, she slowly took in what she saw. No matter how many times she's seen her body, the fact that she was now a Turian still sent her head reeling. Wiping her eyes of tears, she twisted the knob into the off position and stepped out. It was rare for her to cry, but right now, the weight on her mind felt even heavier. She felt powerless. Slowly drying herself off, she found that wedging the towel between the plates took longer than she expected, and the ridges holding in water made her feel heavy.

After having a minor struggle with the new clothes, Shepard found herself lying on the bed, her fringe pressing uncomfortably against the pillow. No matter how she shifted, she found some part of her body was poking or prodding out, making it almost impossible to find a comfortable position. How the hell does Garrus do it? Frustrated, she huffed and decided to just take a seat at her private terminal. Perhaps working on a ship model would put her mind at ease.

Pulling out her recent in progress reaper ship model, she tried to continue where she left off almost two weeks ago.

To her dismay however, having three fingers instead of five greatly hindered her ability to hold and glue things correctly.

Flaring her mandibles in frustration, she hissed loudly and slammed her fist against the table, scattering the tiny pieces across the floor. Sinking her head down into her arms, glowered at the faint orange flow of her terminal.

Suddenly, her intercom chimed up.

"Shepard, are you alright?" EDI's usual cool voice was littered with concern.

"What does it look like to you EDI? My own crew doesn't trust me, and I can't even assemble a goddamn model ship."

"My apologies, commander, it was my fault for bringing up the fact that I did not have a complete one hundred percent confidence in your identity." A pause. "However, after assessing your behavior in the short amount of time, I realized I have erred in my judgment. If it makes you feel any better commander, you have my full support and confidence as Commander Shepard."

Shepard managed a small grin as her mandibles fluttered. Strangely enough hearing that from the ship made her feel alot better.

"Thanks EDI. I appreciate it. For saving me too."

"Of course. It would have been detrimental to our cause if you are dead." Shepard could swear she heard a tinge of amusement in her voice. "Also, Officer Vakarian is on the elevator in transit your quarters."

Shepard nodded. "Noted."

"He believes in your identity too, Shepard." With, that EDI fell silent. On cue, the doors opened and Garrus stepped into the room.

"Hey."

Shepard sniffed in response. Glancing around, Garrus nervously shifted about and finally decided to sit down on the couch. Moving his guns and scattered clothes aside, he looked at her over her desk.

"Jane, about what happened-"

"Do you believe it's me Garrus?"

Garrus nodded. "Shepard, I knew it was you the moment I laid eyes on you." Shepard raised a brow. "I can't explain it. I think it's a mate thing, I can sense you- your mannerisms, your scent, your aura. Somehow, even in that new body of yours you still have the same scent the night we became bonded."

Shepard reached up to her neck. Her scar from him was gone. She winced at its absence. Noticing her actions, Garrus stood up and walked over, pressing his forehead against hers. "Remember how I said Turians mate for life? It doesn't matter if the bond mark is gone. I've imprinted on you." He helped her up out of her chair and held her tight. She returned the gesture and sighed.

"The doctor, his name was Nostromos Gale, he told me you and Tali were disposed of..." Looking up, she locked into his blue eyes, "you have no idea how much that had hurt. I thought I was done. A week locked up there, half of the time drugged up, all I could think about was how lonely it was."

"And you have no idea how lonely I was, trapped in the medbay without you," he purred back. She chuckled faintly.

"I assume Chakwas had you drugged up the entire time to prevent you from even getting out of your bed."

"You know her too well."

Pulling apart from their embrace, Shepard timidly stepped back and led him over to the couch. "I'll be truthful Garrus. I feel like a monstrosity, like something just cast out into this world and left with nothing to fend with." She gestured at herself, "Look at me. I look like nothing remotely close to what I've been. At least with the Lazarus Project those bastards were courteous enough to leave my appearance alone."

He stroked her fringe with his talon for a minute and held her hand. "Jane... it doesn't matter what you look like. I still love you." A smirk formed up at the corner of his mouth as his left mandible drooped giving him a sly look, "If it does make you feel better, however, your form as a Turian is a stunning paragon of our species."

Shepard frowned. "Funny, I sure don't feel that way."

"Let me point it out," Garrus responded as he pulled her up, "your waist-" he gestured down as he held her by her shoulder, "looks as supportive as ever. It's size is thin and delicate, which many will find attractive."

She laughed at that, remembering their first awkward conversation in the cabin when he commented on her hair and waist. "Next I assume you're going to comment on my fringe?" She coyly asked.

"Ah, but of course. Female Turian fringes aren't as long or flashy has males, but we still do prefer those with longer lengths. Yours just turned out the perfect length of my liking. And your eyes..." He looked into her dazzling green eyes and smiled, "It's you, Shepard."

For a moment they lingered there, content at looking at each other's face, slowly taking in its features. For a moment Shepard felt at ease about her new body. Just for a moment.

She blinked. Turning away, she made a strange chirring sound from her throat. This made her pause.

"What the hell was that Garrus?" She looked annoyed. "Ever since I've gotten this new body I noticed I've been making weird noises." Walking over to her desk she slowly started picking up the scattered pieces. "I can't walk correctly, and I have trouble putting on clothes. Plus, I can't even glue a model piece together!"

Garrus only smiled in response, "That, love, was just a Turian's way of expressing bashfulness. Perhaps in your human terms its more of an extreme version of blushing." He paused for a second, placing a talon up to his chin to contemplate. "Perhaps I should take on the duty of helping you break in to your Turian physiology." He paused and frowned, "wait, you have trouble with the clothes?"

She stared at him, giving him a "what do you think" look, "Garrus, I was born a human. I have no idea how to fit into Turian clothes and neither have I tried before."

"But it's so intuitive!"

"Not when you've suddenly grown spikes out of random places."

"Ah, fair enough," glancing over he grinned, "although we will need to get you your own set. Apparently my clothes are too large on you, especially the top. Not to mention you'll need new armor too."

She looked at him sourly, "Thanks for reminding me. Hell, I wonder if I can even shoot a gun accurately with these-" she flexed her talons at him, "three fingers."

Garrus saw the nervousness flash in her eyes. Gently, he pulled her in to him, once again locking her into his embrace.

"Jane. No matter what happens I'll be here for you. I promise I'll get you functional and shooting things in no time. We'll just tackle these issues one step at a time."

Leaning down, he rested his forehead against hers.

"There's no Shepard without Vakarian," she whispered.

Everything was going to be okay.