AN: Sorry for the wait. This chapter was extremely hard for me to get out. Hope you enjoy

Chapter 4

Sesshomaru quickly slid the chair he was occupying back into Inuyasha. He bent into a defense position and waited for Inuyasha to attack. A low growl escaped Sesshomaru lips, warning the weakling not to continue.

Inuyasha returned his brother's growl and threw the chair into the wall. It shattered upon impacted. Splinters bounced off the other furniture and the floor. Toga raised his arms to protect his eyes and tried to get his sons' attention, however was unable to. Inuyasha sprinted forward toward Sesshomaru, but before he could reach him, Toga grabbed him by the collar and picked him up off his feet.

"Knock it off!" Toga yelled in Inuyasha's face. Inuyasha's ears flattened against his head. His father's eyes were streaked with red, and Inuyasha didn't dare to disobey.

"He didn't tell you what he did, did he?" Inuyasha asked his father, "'Cause if he did, you wouldn't have stopped me."

"I said knock it off, Inuyasha. Do not make me repeat myself!" Toga's face took on a very serious tone as he glared as his youngest son. "I have not been told. However, Sesshomaru is back. He is well. For now, I don't care what he did. He has something to tell us both. We will sit and listen as he tells us what he has to say. You will say nothing, Inuyasha. No outbursts. No threatening. You will do nothing, Inuyasha. Not until he is finished. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir," Inuyasha mumbled plopping down on the sofa on the far side of the room, as far away from his brother as possible. He pouted at the harsh tone of his father.

"Sesshomaru, please son," Toga urged his oldest.

Sesshomaru took a deep breath. "It all started on Inuyasha's 12th birthday. I had been descending the stairs when I smelt the most intoxicating scent. My beast was enthralled with the being that it was coming from, but she was human. I would not allow it. I couldn't allow it. My pride and honor were at stack."

"Bullshit, you ass," Inuyasha rose from his seat only to be thrown back into it by his father.

"Please be quiet, Inuyasha," Toga begged his youngest, " Continue please Sesshomaru."

"As I was saying. A human had enthralled my beast. I ran. I knew not what else to do. I couldn't fight him. He was enraged because of my hatred for her species. Enraged at my thoughts of killing her just to remove the scent. I could not allow myself to fall in such a way.

"I ran, and ran, and ran. Until I could no longer feel my feet below me. Until I could no longer breath in that rich beautiful scent. It matter not to me where I was. It matter not that I had nothing on my person. I believe, now, that that first stop was in India.

"It was late. The moon was high about me. A waning moon as I remember. A beautiful waning moon. I know not what came over me. I was alone. My beast had decided to lock itself deep within my mind. I felt helpless. Truly helpless. It almost broke me. My pride still at the foremost of my mind. I could not give in. I would not allow my beast control. I would not give into the scent. I would not take a human. I couldn't. At the time, I felt, Father, that Izyoui was a dishonor and a stain upon our name. I could not follow in your footsteps. I would not weaken myself.

" I stayed in a small abandoned hut for some time. It was rundown. I found it to be a poor replacement for the home I had chosen to leave, but it was better than the rains. I watched with a detachment as the lands around me flooded. I felt very little for the humans that ran from their homes or the mothers that cried for the loss of a child. What did it matter to me? I felt my mind slowly slipping away from me. I ate what I found in the waters. My existence had become a hollow shell of my former self. I thought not of anything. For to do so was excruciating. My beast still hid within my consistence.

"I left when the rains stopped. I had long since lost track of time. I ran. I was alone. I was so alone. Running made me feel like at least the wind was with me. And so I ran. I reached a forest. The undergrowth was thick and luscious. This place was untouched by man. It was peaceful. I felt as if I could find my escape within the black floor of this jungle," Sesshomaru stopped and looked out the window at the endless sea of concrete and metal. His thought of the smells that assaulted his sensitive nose upon entering the city. Yes, he did miss the forest, but he missed his life more. Eyes set with a new focus he looked to his father and brother.

"I found a new life there. I felt free. No longer were there expectations put upon me. I lived as I had always wanted. I wondered when the mood hit. Or I would stay in one area for moons on end. The sights I saw. The things I have experienced. It was truly magical. The way we were meant to live. Still I felt as if I was alone. My beast had returned by this point, however he still refuses to speak to me. I found myself a tribe. They knew not that I was about in the forest. They had suspected that something was there. I felt drawn to them. Almost as if they were pack."

Sesshomaru's eyes glazed over as he remembered the small tribe of unique men. When he spoke again it was in an awed voice. "They were but humans. Weak pathetic humans. Barely able to provided for themselves. They lived as savages, yet I felt as if they had made the right choice. They needed not to have pretenses of wealth. They had family. What need did they have for mansions when they had each other. I found myself wondering about how backward everyone else in the world truly was. I missed some of the convenience of home, but I found myself watching them and learning.

"It was four moon cycles after I started watching them that a small group of people joined the tribe. They were from here. I was amazed that humans from here would travel so far. I tried to stay away after that, but for some reason my beast wanted me there. I lost the battle with him and he pushed me into his cage. I remember how lost I was. I no longer was in control. I could see nothing. Sense nothing. I remember feeling fear for the first time." A heavy sigh left Sesshomaru. He looked down ashamed of himself for losing control. Toga tried to comfort his son, but Sesshomaru recoiled from his touch.

"That still doesn't tell me why you did it you bastard!" Inuyasha yelled rising to his feet. "Why did you fuck Kagome?"

"Who?" came Sesshomaru's confused reply.