Disclaimer: All the names featured in this chapter belong to... well... their owners. I still don't own BttF. Yesterday I copied out the logo from a magazine, though. ^_^ Copying movie logs is my hobby. I have a whole collection of copied out movie logos. =D Someone stole my Matrix and Left Behind ones. Fine, so I'm weird.

Oh, and I don't own The Matrix either. And Really Cool Purple Hats belong to back2thechaos. Clarence too.

This fic is DANGEROUSLY close to becoming a BttF/The Matrix/Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure crossover. I hope it won't happen...

I won't be updating for a while until my exam is over (I've only got one, hah! =D). Next update for any of my fics would probably be around June.

New feature: If you like, you can add your own email to the lists. Just write whatever you want to say in your reviews.

They've Got Mail

From - purplesleepingbag(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

To - mushmeloland(at)hotmail(.)com, futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, joystick_click(at)yahoo(.)com, smellysocksstink(at)hotmail(.)com, ouchywawa(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, mirror_mirror_on_the_wall(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

Hi everyone. Add your name onto the list.

Hello. All you have to do is add your name to this list and email it to me at 'icecubes_are_cool(at)yahoo(.)com', then forward it to others. I'm having a contest with my friend to see who can come up with the most people first. Thanks. Your help in this would be greatly appreciated.

1. Joyce Lee

2. Thomas Anderson

3. Morpheus

4. Ernie

5. Bert

6. J.R.R. Tolkein

7. Mark Hamill

8. Harrison Ford

9. Elvis Presley

10. Carrie Fisher

11. Tinky Winky

12. Luke Skywalker

13. Sharon Ow

14. J.K. Rowling

15. Danielle Radcliffe

16. Rupert Grint

17. Jonathan Sam

18. Clarence the Invisible

19. Leia Organa Solo

20. Saddam Hussein

21. Lando Calrissan

22. Emma Watson

23. Michael J. Fox

24. Christopher Lloyd

25. Crispin Glover

26. Algernon the Mouse

27. Stuart Little

28. Fievel the Mouse

29. Willard

30. Dipsy

31. Atticus Finch

32. Po

33. Thomas F. Wilson

34. Mister Sandman

35. Asterix

36. Obelix

37. Vitalstatistix

38. Osammy B. Laddy

39. La-la

40. C.S. Lewis

41. Frodo Baggins

42. Lea Thompson

43. Gollum

44. Smeagol

45. The Preciousssss

46. Lone Starr

47. Dark Helmet

48. Peregrin Took

49. Keith Gow

50. The Farmer In The Dell

51. Mr. Bean

52. Yoda

53. Bill S. Preston Esquire

54. Ted Theodore Logan

55. [Please add your name]

From - founder_of_clayton_ravine(at)hotmail(.)com

To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

Subject: Hi!

Hi Marty!

Clara here. Seems that my family have been sending you a lot of mail. If J&V give you any trouble, you have my full permission to send a virus to them.

Hope your band wins the competition. Good luck.

- Clara

From - flautist_wannabe(at)hotmail(.)com

To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

Subject: nil

Hello Marty.

Your future lies in MY hands.

MUAHAHAHAHA!

- Anakin McFly of fanfiction(.)net

From - pinheads_forever(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, myguitarneedstuning(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, bandgeekofhillvalley(at)yahoo(.)com

I was thinking... maybe we can distribute earmuffs before the performance? So that we won't sound so loud?

From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

To - julesvernefan(at)yahoo(.)com

Subject: nil

Hi Doc.

I received this weird email:

Hello Marty.

Your future lies in MY hands.

MUAHAHAHAHA!

- Anakin McFly of fanfiction(.)net

Any idea what it means? Because there's no such website as fanfiction(.)net.

- Marty

From - death_to_verne_brown_and_marty_mcfly(at)hotmail(.)com

To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

Subject: nil

That day we took a little trip to the future and I saw YOUR tombstone. They spelt your name wrong, and someone had written 'chicken' on it. Me.

So you won't send a virus to Verne, huh? What's the matter, McFly? CHICKEN?

- Jules, Greatest Product of the Human Race

From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

To - death_to_verne_brown_and_marty_mcfly(at)hotmail(.)com

Subject: Re: nil

NOBODY... calls me chicken.

Attachment: clarencetheinvisiblevirus(.)exe

From - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com

To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

Subject: The Matrix

Wake up, Marty.

The Matrix has you.

Follow the purple chinchilla.

Knock knock, Marty.

From - the_aliens_are_coming(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

To - hotchoclat(at)hvmentalhospital(.)com

Subject: Re: Re: Am I going crazy?

Yeah, you can have my autograph.

Attachment: autograph(.)doc

From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

To - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com

Subject: Re: The Matrix

Who are you?

What's the Matrix?

- Marty

From - admin(at)rcph(.)com

To - bifftannenrules(at)wehatemanure(.)com

Subject: Really Cool Purple Hats for Sale!

Think you look uncool?

Does nobody ever notice you?

Do you have no friends at all?

Are you looking for a way to stop this all?

Then look no more! Just pop down to any cheapstuff4sale outlet and buy yourself a Really Cool Purple Hat!

All your newfound friends will be jealous!

You'll be the coolest person in town!

So... what are you waiting for?

Just dial 4323212 for us to specially deliver the hat(s) to your doorstep, or come on down yourself to get them!

See you soon!

- Randy, Candy, Pandy and Handy

Really Cool Purple Hats

From - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com

To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

Subject: Re: Re: The Matrix

No one can tell you what the Matrix is.

You have to see it for yourself.

From - julesvernefan(at)yahoo(.)com

To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

Subject: Re: nil

Marty,

Jules was playing with the device that connects us and something strange happened. I don't know what it is, but suddenly all the previously inaccessible websites have become accessible.

YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS.

www(.)bttf(.)com

The link should work now.

- Doc

From - the_aliens_are_coming(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

To - bifftannenrules(at)wehatemanure(.)com

Subject: nil

Hi Biff.

I just bought a new car. Give it 2 coats of wax the next time you drop by. Thanks.

- George McFly

From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

To - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: The Matrix

So how can I 'see' it? As in the Matrix? It sounds like some movie or something.

And I still don't know what's going on.

WHO ARE YOU?

From - bifftannenrules(at)wehatemanure(.)com

To - the_aliens_are_coming(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

Subject: Re: nil

Mr. McFly,

Okay, I'll get right down to it.

- Biff

From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

To - julesvernefan(at)yahoo(.)com

Subject: Re: Re: nil

I went to the site and now I'm feeling totally freaked out. I don't understand. What's going on?

Maybe whatever Jules did unlocked some sort of portal into another dimension or... I don't know.

Whatever it is, I'm scared. Really. I'm not ever going to that site again. It's cursed or something. Maybe this has something to do with the Matrix, whatever that is. Just don't talk to me for a while. I'm feeling really confused.

- Marty

P.S.: Today Biff wore this really weird hat to work. Wish you were here to see it.

From - the_aliens_are_coming(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

To - bifftannenrules(at)wehatemanure(.)com

Subject: Re: Re: nil

Biff,

WHAT. WERE. YOU. WEARING. ON. YOUR. HEAD?

From - bifftannenrules(at)wehatemanure(.)com

To - the_aliens_are_coming(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: nil

Mr. McFly,

I was wearing a Really Cool Purple Hat! Don't you think it looked nice? I ordered it online at www(.)reallycoolpurplehats(.)com. Do you want one too? I can help you get it.

- Biff

From - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com

To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Matrix

My name is Neo. I thought you would have guessed so from my email address.

I cannot tell you what the Matrix is.

But follow me... and all your questions will be answered.

I know all about you, Marty.

Of how you struggle to keep your band together.

Of everything that has happened in your entire life.

Of the events of that fateful day, 26th October 1985.

All your life you have known that something was not quite right. You have been searching for the truth that you knew was out there, but never found it.

Now, I give you the chance to do so.

I can answer all those questions of yours, Marty.

"What is the Matrix?"

"Will Doc ever come back?"

"Will I ever be early for school?"

"Will those people EVER stop bugging me to donate to the Clocktower?"

"Who is Michael J. Fox?"

I have the answers, Marty.

Now all you have to do... is to follow the purple chinchilla.

There is not much time left. You have to come. Because you are the only one who knows the truth.

- Neo

From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com

To - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Matrix

I don't know who you are, I don't know what you mean, I don't know how you know everything you do but I don't want to find out.

Just leave me alone, okay? I don't know the 'truth', whatever that is.

If you want somebody to go torture, why don't you go email Biff? His email address is 'bifftannenrules(at)wehatemanure(.)com'. But I bet you knew that already, right?

So just leave me alone! I haven't done anything to deserve this!

And there's no such thing as a purple chinchilla. Purple hat, maybe. Biff was wearing one today. BUT NO PURPLE CHINCHILLA.

- Marty

TO BE CONTINUED...

Stoko: Thanks for your review!

docnov121955: Thanks for reviewing!

Ectodude: Brain damage? *scratches head* I dunno. According to my parents I fell out of my cot when I was a baby. Maybe something happened then.

Irish Bug: You're dead? Since when? :S CONTINUE YOUR BTTF FIC ON PAIN OF DEATH!

Exotria: Thanks for the suggestions! They were... uh... inspiring. ^_^

Lady Baggins of the Shire: *sigh* Seems that everyone's getting the DVD except for me. Then again, I already have all three tapes, so...

B2tC: Okay, maybe I'll give Einie an email address too...