Hello, everyone. Hmm, not quite sure what to say. This chapter may be a bit confusing but it will make more sense and is very important later on.

Enjoy!


And shake us with the vision that's gone by,

The dread of vanished shadows. - Are they so?

Is not the past all shadow? What are they?

Creations of the mind? - The mind can make

Substances, and people planets of its own

With beings brighter than have been, and give

A breath to forms with can outlive all flesh.

-From "Richard III"


Chapter 4:

Alice had queer dreams throughout the night. Lately, this was something common and they seemed to be more realistic each time they happened. The Cheshire Cat slipped through her obscure thoughts as easily as the street cats go through dingy alleys in London. He whispered incomprehensible words of what seemed to be advice. Suddenly, she was curled up in a corner shaking madly, her hands clenched tightly. Red eyes glowed at her...No wait, was it a red crown...A red... then there was a strong hand was on her shoulder. "Wake up! Wake up!" She couldn't open her eyes though without feeling a painful string in them so she just shut them more tightly and tried to move away. "Wake up!" The voice was practically deafening now and she couldn't tell whether the screaming was someone else's or her own. She sat up abruptly to realize she was alone. The room was dark and seemed to be pressing in on her. Alice buried her face in the pillow. "Stop, stop, stop," she muttered desperately but it didn't stop. It continued to prod at her and make her feel like she was trapped. Finally it all slipped away and she had an hour of dreamless rest. The next morning, Alice slipped reluctantly out of bed and rubbed her eyes as she walked into the console room. The Doctor was already there and had a smile on his face. "Good morning, Alice! It's a beautiful morning in...well, wherever we are."

"Do you mean that you don't even know where we are?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Well..."

"I'll take that as a yes. For goodness sakes, did you just let it drift around or something like that?"

"I don't think you'd want the full explanation."

Alice nodded. "You're right, I probably wouldn't."

They had a typical breakfast together. Alice remembered vaguely having a breakfast like this with Lizzie once. It had been just the two of them which was a rare occasion. Often mother and father was there with them but they had gone out on an outing and hadn't returned yet. Alice had kept that memory close to her heart throughout the bitter years of her life. The Doctor seemed very cheerful but Alice could tell something was troubling him.

"Are you alright?" She ventured to ask, after he had finished giving an animated discussion about time and space.

"Of course, I'm alright. What would make you think otherwise?"

"You're sad about something. I can recognize sadness when I see it. I have had enough of my own to notice someone else's easily." And yet she had chosen not to realize the other children's sadness at the orphanage...Alice pushed the idea aside and awaited the Doctor's response. He seemed to be giving his answer a lot of thought.

"I lost two people very close to me. It wasn't the first time though. I have lost so many other friends before. Some of them left. Some of them died. In the end though, they really all just break my heart. I didn't...I never really wanted to face the fact that they'd leave as well." The Doctor shook his head, feeling upset with himself.

Alice did feel sympathy for him but above all she felt curiosity. "Who were they?"

The Doctor glanced up at the ceiling. "Amy and Rory. Oh, they were brilliant."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Doctor." Alice said, clearing up after herself and then giving herself a tour about the TARDIS. She thought it would probably best leave him alone. The Doctor forced a small smile and watched her walk around the TARDIS. She had a sort of fascination in her eyes that made his heart relax slightly. She would not be his companion though. He was not going to risk that. Yet how much was he risking now...Guilt started up inside him violently and he did his best to keep that frequent emotion concealed. This was all for a good reason though. Wasn't it? The Doctor was at war with himself once more despite all the thought he had put into this decision.

Finally, he decided he should ask. "Alice? Have you discovered a way for us to get to Wonderland yet?"

"No, but I have seen..." She hesitated as she walked past the mirror. There seemed to be something...No, someone...It couldn't be...

"What is it?"

Alice looked at the Doctor than back at the mirror, which only showed her pale, startled face. "Oh no, it's nothing. I just...thought I saw someone."

The Doctor nodded slowly. "Oh alright, you were saying?"

"I have seen the Chesire Cat in my dreams." She explained, feeling uneasy. It was as if she had a very large puzzle with small, tiny pieces. Some of the pieces seemed familiar but they were difficult to pick up and she thought she knew where to put them yet when she tried to it didn't seemed to make any logical sense. Logical as in even madness couldn't begin to explain it.

"Tell me if anything else comes up. I think I'll go give it some thought in the library. I have a few ideas of what it is..."

"What it is?"

The Doctor realized his mistake and smiled in a reassuring sort of way. "The way to Wonderland, of course!"

Alice looked skeptical and just nodded before sitting down, deep in thought. While her thoughts wandered and twisted about, Alice could have swore she heard an all too familiar voice in the back of her head.

"You don't know your own mind."