A/N: Hallo again lovelies. Thank goodness for warrenties: the Master is alive and well once more and the weekend is free(ish) for Alicey indulgences, so chapters will likely be going up like mad. Just warning ya.

sorry for taking so long, I had this chapter written for FOREVER but as it turns out Toshibas older than 2 years like to fail at life. Like the Master. Also I have the attention span of a envelope. So. There you have it. *pours petty excuses on reader* Tada!

DISCLAIMER: unfortunately for me, I do not own any part of Alice apart from the snappy thoughts and off-camera occurrances that link all the fun stuffs together. Those are mine. But other than that, it's all Syfy.

Read, review, throw through a window, whatever.

Love and buttermilk frosting!

|ACP|


Chapter 4

Dodo's office was just inside the first door on the hall. The rest of our walk there was silent, though far from uneventful. I was in the process of mulling over how I could possibly get Dodo to work with us for free with nothing but Alice's name and her oyster paper to bargain with. And then I saw it, when she went to brush some hair from her face. On her left hand, her ring finger held a stone on an inlaid band. The ring was impressive, and its strategic location was probably the work of this Jack person. My stomach dropped a notch when I saw it, but I forced myself to look past that. Maybe her money was worthless, but Dodo had a thing for ancient looking stuff, and this ring looked old, maybe even from the era of the Knights. If that were the case, and it was valuable enough to hauk for some food, then perhaps Dodo would consider helping us. Her. Helping her. Not us.

Owl knocked thrice on the door before it creaked open, revealing the cozy room with blue and white paneled walls. Not that you could really see the walls much with all the trinkets in the room. Books were stacked everywhere, books about the old days and the Red King's original laws, books about Wonderland before the Hearts. A large arch dominated the left side of the room, revealing a little alcove filled almost to the brim with stacks of old books, pages worn like one of a bible. A mural of a casle tower was inlaid into the back wall of the alcove, and I remembered Dodo once telling me that it was the Red King's castle tower. That was where many of these books in the office had been kept before the Queen of Hearts seized power and wiped the place out.

A tree was on the right of the room, creating shade in the already dim little office. Beneath our feet was an intricate rug, endless geometric patterns swirling around our shoes and out to the fraying edges. As usual, Dodo was hiding somewhere in the shadows. He wasn't a friend of much light, though he had at least five lamps in the room, maybe more, all emmitting either a low white light or a medium orange glow. Duck stayed back towards the door, but Owl, being one of Dodo's favourites, went to stand by the tree, gun arm finally relaxing completely. Strange lot, them. I led Alice to the middle of the rug where Dodo could get a good look at her before coming out, where we could be seen and maybe even trusted for it if we were lucky.

"What do you want, Hatter?" came the voice of the resistance leader, and from the corner of my eye I could see Alice stiffen and peer suspiciously into the shadow. "I've come with a proposition for you." I answered levelly, staying close to Alice just in case. "This is Alice. She's looking for her boyfriend. A Jack Chance." I was careful to keep my eyes on the shadows, anticipating any movement from their depths. "Chase." Alice corrected me, a bit too excited for the delicate situation we were in. She seemed to be happy to have simply made it this far. "His name is Jack Chase." Ah yes, so it was. Whoops. My bad.

"She needs help. I thought of you, Dodo." I pressed on firmly. I would have to hold my ground when Dodo toyed with us, as he was sure to do. He always did, after all, and he was never one to break old habits. "Really?" he asked skeptically, suspicion colouring his voice as he rose and came just that much more into the light. He was a plumpish man for one that didn't eat very often, dressed in dark clothing with a mustache and small beard flecked with grey speckles. If I didn't know him better I would've guessed him to be a conniving sort just by looking at him. He had that quirk to his brow. Considering I did know him though, I didn't have to do any manner of guessing towards that end. He would definitely try and get out on top with this, and I was going to have to really work for it if I wanted anything from him. He was a born politician.

"And why would I want to help your Oyster?" he questioned, somewhat irritably, now coming over fully into the light but keeping far across the room from us. His face was full of his usual contempt for me. He was just mad because of that holey wall business. Which hadn't been my fault, by the way. Mostly. "When you know that bringing her here puts us all at risk?" His voice was deadly now, annoyance colouring every syllable. Oh. Well. Perhaps not mad about just the wall then. Still, I was going to have to keep on top of this. It was essential to Alice's escape with her precious damsel of a boyfriend. "Oh please." I scoffed. "I've spent years smuggling more dangerous things than this down here."

Dodo's smile was forced, as though he were biting back a million little things he would've just loved to have called me, but considered himself above actually calling me them. "You know what rankles most about bloodsucking carpetbaggers like you, Hatter?" he asked, coming foreward to stand by Owl, who was once again tensed up now that her leader was irritable. Though how he could possibly be anything other than irritated with me in the room I don't know. I didn't answer. I had the strangest feeling that whatever it was Dodo needed to get off his chest about me had better be out of the way when negotiations really began. And I was a little busy storing away the term 'carpetbaggers' for possible use later on. "Your gall." he answered for me, glancing without interest at Alice and then turning his contemptuous eyes back to me. "You think you can play both sides of the court and come away with two trophies." I felt Alice's eyes on me but kept mine locked with Dodo's. He wasn't lying, and that was what worried me most. Telling the truth about me with Alice in the room wouldn't help anyone, considering I was the only one she was even slightly familiar with. And on a deeper level I didn't really want her to know. He was calling me a coward, and it was true. I didn't want her to see me like that for some reason.

"I haven't seen daylight for three years." he went on, the hateful smile never once slipping from his face. "And Owl here has forgotten what a vegetable tastes like." Owl stood at attention at once, saying somewhat hopefully, "I remember comquat. Is that a vegetable?" Nobody really had the heart to answer her. On any other occasion, in a less tension-charged room, I would've found this funny. But not now. Not here. I wasn't fool enough to laugh at that when Dodo had that manic look on his face. "While we risk our lives trying to bring freedom to ungrateful leeches like you, you swan about, living the good life." Now that wasn't necessarily true, and so this was where I had to draw the line.

Besides, there's only so much stepping-on a man can take, no matter how pretty the girl beside him is, or how good the cause. "Stop your crowing. You know I'm on your side." I snapped. In truth I was a bit panicked. He was going too far for this to even have a chance of turning out favourably for anyone. I could only hope that he would really fancy the ring. "I'm sure you say that to all your enemies." he replied coldly, moving back around his desk. That ticked it. "I do what's necesarry! I kiss what butts need kissing so your machine stays oiled." I said indignantly, feeling the room's temperature drop about a billion degrees. Alice cut in, apparently tired of waiting for Dodo to grow some reason. "Look, if you can't help me, I'll just leave." she quipped, turning to do just that. But she was stopped by Dodo's chuckles. "Headstrong, isn't she?" he asked me. You have no idea. Took ten minutes of sweet talking to jet her to wear a bloody jacket. She turned back around, obviously having lost any semblance of patience she had. "Can you help me get Jack out of the casino?" she insisted, glaring right back at him.

He considered her for a moment and then assumed his facade again. "Well I don't see how." he mused. But I called his bluff. "The resistance has contacts inside the Casino, right?" He straightened slowly, amusement slowly sliding off his face and put on his politician game. "No comment." he said in a dignified manner, glancing away. So that's a yes. "Use them to find her guy." I suggested, sensing a favourable turn in the proceedings. If this played out right I would be good for at least a week. No under the table dealings with the Hearts for a month. Just let it turn out right... for once. "She can pay you." I offered. And there it was. The spark of interest in Dodo's flat grey eyes. Gotcha.

Sensing my victory, I rushed out, "But I want my usual cut, up front." I avoided Alice's eyes, but I knew what she would be thinking now. I had proved myself exactly what Dodo had said I was with that sentence, and I only hoped that if this didn't pan out I could come up with a good lie to excuse it. "Pay me?" Dodo mused, coming back around to face us outright. It was the closest to us he'd been all through the exchange. "Pay me with what?" Uncomfortable with his proximity, I moved to Alice's other side, weighing my options. Chances were, she was already mad about the payment deal with Dodo and I for me bringing her here. She was sure to be ticked beyond believing if I offered up her Nancy Prancy Boy's ring. But what choice did we have?

"Show him the rock Alice." I said stiffly, not looking at her for fear of the betrayal I would find in those bright eyes. But it was clear in her voice when she asked, "What?" And so I kept my eyes trained on Dodo. "The ring. On your finger." My voice was expressionless, as I forced my thoughts to stay calm and distant. That was the only way this was getting through at this point. "No, that is off limits." she insisted quietly, glancing from an interested Dodo back to me. Finally I had to look at her, and what I saw there unsettled me. More than betrayed, she looked hurt. I was offering up her things, precious things by the look of it, without even asking. For a moment my resolve was almost undone. "It's all you have, Alice." I pointed out, but the look did not leave her eyes. If anything it seemed to harden. "No." she said firmly.

Dodo stepped forward, grabbing Alice's left hand, taking her by surprise. He examined the ring and I watched him carefully, ready to pull Alice away if it turned nasty. Which it did, of course. At first the expression on his face was only shock, pure unfiltered, undisguised shock. Then it was replaced by an insane excitement, and a mild fury. "It's not possible." He muttered to himself, small eyes looking at Alice in alarm. She yanked her hand away, but I could only concentrate on Dodo's stunned expression. "Where did you get it?" he snapped, all pretense of friendliness gone. She shook her head, shifting anxiously from foot to foot. "It's none of your business, it's not for sale." she said uncomfortably. Ah, so it had been from her Damsel. Lovely.

But he wasn't having that. "Where did you get it?" he roared suddenly, advancing on her. She glanced at me in alarm, and I tried to intervene and (hopefully) get some sense from him. "What, what is it?" It just looked like an ordinary ring to me, albeit a bit old and valuable looking. Dodo glanced from me to her angrily, and then snatched up her hand again, presenting it to me. "Your oyster is wearing the Stone of Wonderland."

What? The... The bloody Stone of Wonderland? How the hell had she... but she was an Oyster, there was no doubt about that, none at all. I turned to face her and she began to back away, alarm clouding her eyes. But I had no room to worry about that now. "That's impossible." I breathed, watching her face carefully. A terrible thought had occurred to me. What if she was a spy? What if she'd been enlisted by the Hearts to be led to the resistance hideaway? But no, I could see written all over her face that she was just a frightened woman trying to get her boyfriend and go home. Still. The Stone of Wonderland. "I'm never wrong." Dodo assured me, a fanatic edge to his voice. "Where did you get it Alice?" I asked urgently, and her nervous foot shifting turned into a defensive stance, as though she were prepared to fight us both in a heartbeat for this thing.

"Jack gave it to me." she stuttered, eyes darting from Dodo to me and back again. I was still trying to work through the fact that Alice had the Stone, but Dodo was miles ahead of me. "Jack?"

"Jack Chase, the guy we're looking for." she reminded him, edging away more. "Well where did he get it?" he pressed, getting in her face as he demanded answers from her. "I don't know!" she said, exasperated, but this wasn't a good answer for Dodo. Throwing caution to the wind, he snarled "Give it to me!" Immediately she was shouting back, "No". How very Alice.

Always one to be sensible and talk things through, Dodo seemed to swell and turned away from her, heading back over to his desk and motioning to Owl. "Take her out." he bellowed, and immediately Owl's rifle was pointed at Alice, though her eyes were wide and unsure. "Are you crazy?" Alice shrieked, and instinctively I stepped in front of the rifle, not considering what a terrible idea that was. "Stop." I commanded, holding out a hand to Owl as though that would keep any bullet from piercing either Alice or I. "Just wait."

"You're in way over your head, Hatter." Dodo informed me angrily, and I turned to him pleadingly. "Just give me one second to talk to her, okay?" But he already had a gun drawn from his desk and directed at me, the only thing standing between him and Alice. Have I ever mentioned how little I like guns? Especially when they're pointed at me. Not a fan, surprisingly. The mania was back in his eyes. "The ring controls the Looking Glass." he said coldly, and behind me Alice raised her arms in surrender again. "You know that." I did indeed, but I wasn't about to hold a gun to a defenseless woman for it. Guess that was the difference between Dodo and I. I glanced back at Duck, who also had drawn his gun somewhere in the rapidly deteriorating negotiation session, and then looked back at Dodo. "Calm down." I instructed them. "Put the gun away, I'm sure we can all get what we want here."

My clever little attempt at salvaging the situation was, of course, thrown by Alice. Who else would blurt out in the middle of a tension-filled, failing negotiation; "No one is getting this ring." Shut up, shut up, shut up. I begged her mentally. I threw her a dirty look over my shoulder, but turned my attention back to Dodo, who was saying, "We've been waiting for thirty years for a break like this. And now it falls into our laps." And then he was advancing on us with his gun raised steadily. Any shot fired from that would mean certain death for a little Oyster. "Stop waving that thing around, you're scaring everyone." But mostly me. I was backing away, placing myself directly in front of Alice. Better me than her. "If we can return the Oysters, back to their world, maybe we can save ours." he reasoned, but I was beyond being reasoned with. "Just put the gun down!" I shouted. Dodo wasn't listening. "Think about it. The Queen, reduced to mopping floors. It'll be just like the old days." I glanced back at Alice in alarm. Her eyes were wide and afraid. Everything was moving too fast, it was difficult for even me to process it. "Justice. Reason. And the rule of law." he yelled, raising the gun so it was level with my chest.

This was too much for me. "Stop this!" I cried, grabbing the barrel of the gun with my right hand, hoping to crush the thing before any harm could come to anyone. But Dodo managed to move the gun back towards my chest and squeezed the trigger.

Blinding pain. I was flying through the air, and chaos had truly fallen on the little office. I was dimly aware of lying in a pile of books. Though I hadn't, of course, been pierced by any bullet, the impact was still very real. There would be a nasty bruise on my chest for weeks, maybe even some muscle damage. I was too stunned to move, but I could hear Alice scream "No!" and Owl's shocked cry of, "You've shot Hatter!" There was a short silence during which I tried to unscramble my brains from the thoroughly mixed up mush it had become on impact, but it was soon ended by Dodo saying angrily, "We don't need him anymore. The ring is our ticket out of here."

I couldn't move to see what happened next, but there was the sound of a scuffle and a hefty man hitting the ground, and then I thought I heard someone Alice-sized run from the room. My muscles seemed to unfreeze and I pulled my own gun from my pocket, aiming it at the ceiling and firing it once while attempting to rise. Dodo froze at the sight of me gasping and panting my way into a standing position, hand clutched over the spot where the bullet hit, and gun aimed directly at his face. I crossed the room quickly, spitting, "Leave her alone, or believe me the next one will be aimed at your head." Suddenly Dodo was all about the negotiation. "Look, Hatter, this is a game changer." he said militantly, while I moved my gun around to Owl, who flinched away. "I'll give you three times your price." A quick glance back at Duck. "Five. Ten. You name it." he promised, moving forward eagerly. I was having none of it after being shot. Being shot makes me incredibly cranky.

I shook the gun at him, snapping "Back off." Instantly the demeanour changed. "If you let her leave with the ring," he threatened, "I'll have every member of the resistance hunting you down. You'll be dead before tea time." He wasn't kidding. But none of that mattered. All that was important right now was getting Alice out. And hopefully getting me out too. But mostly Alice. Clutching my wounded chest, I gestured at Owl and Duck, who had shrunk away into the shadows, angry and more than a bit betrayed."And that's the thanks I get?" I hissed, "For keeping you bums fed and watered all these years?" Using my attempt at saving my skin, Dodo reached out and twisted my wrist behind my back, which made a nasty cracking sound and brought me to the ground while he ran from the room after Alice. I knelt there, coughing from the exertion and pain that came from being shot and attacked in the space of five minutes, but within a moment was on my feet again, hobbling after him as best I could.

Dodo was almost at the lift when I caught him. He was running faster than I was, so I did the first thing that came to mind: I took a lunge forwards and brought him down with me when I fell. I could see Alice fiddling about with things frantically in the lift, and realised she had no means of escape without me telling her how to make it go. "Hatter!" she cried, keeping a tight hold on the bar by the lift doors. I managed to get Dodo somewhat pinned and called to her, "It's the blue button." Struggling to keep the (significantly) larger man down on the ground, I landed a few light punches with my right fist, which seemed to daze him significantly. Too light, then.

The lift wasn't moving. What is she doing?I thought, panicked. Dodo shoved me off him and I smashed into the corner of one of the alcoves, groaning in the pain that shot through my body when the impact jarred my chest. And yet, she was still there. "Go, Alice!" I shouted as Dodo rushed me, attempting to pull me out of my firmly-rooted stance. "Hurry up and push the blue button!" Using his feeble attempts to my advantage, I pulled him off of me and slammed him into a balcony pillar which shifted with his formidable weight. Thoroughly not happy now, I reared back my right hand for a good solid punch, holding back just a little and flying the deadly force forward. But he ducked, just in time for my fist to shatter a good portion of the stone column. "Lucky." I muttered, and then suddenly I was being kneed in the gut and the face, which hurt like a gwormy worm. The slamming of my head on the maroon carpeted floor made my vision swim, and the only thought in my head was that my hat was gone for some reason. And that, well. That was never a good sign.

Having learned his lesson, Dodo knelt over me, grabbing my right arm and holding it firmly as he whaled on my face, the pain swelling behind my eyelids and the loss of my hat keeping me from even thinking of moving to get him off. Besides. The man was twice my size. Struggling would've just made me more tired. Dimly, I was aware of the sound of heels on the carpet, coming our way. She hasn't left yet? And then Dodo's weight was gone (thank suits) and it was his turn to be whaled on. But his assailant was more than two times smaller than him, and in a dress. Ouch.

Figuring Alice could handle herself, I looked around feebly for my hat, finding it a half foot away and scooting over to it on my belly, laying on top of it for a moment until my puddle-brain was convinced the hat would be safe if I put it on my head. I was getting up to do so, or beginning to anyway, when Dodo fell to the ground with a sound of pain and Alice grabbed me around the middle, pulling me up and saying, "Come on, Hatter." All I could think was that I had been beaten to putty by a man who got taken down in less than a minute by a five foot three girl in heels. But she was running, and hadn't let me go yet, and I had to stumble to keep up. Not, of course, that I exactly minded the feeling of her hands curled at my side, pulling me to her so she could help me. It was quite a pleasant experience. Except for the whole brain-is-a-puddle thing. "How did you do that?" I asked as we stumbled, dazed and confused but managing to get my precious hat back onto my head where it belonged. I had gone through hell and back to get the thing, and I'd be damned if I was going to lose it because Dodo knocked me over.

She rushed us onto the lift and set me down, none too gently as Dodo had just stood up, on the floor, clamboring over me and slapping the blue button. As the lift climbed upwards past the faded, peeling wallpaper and cement sides of the chute, I heard the despaired cry of Dodo realizing that the Stone of Wonderland was gone. And it was going to stay that way, if I had anything to say about it.


A/N: Good gravy that was long. Took at least three hours of, essentially, frame by frame Alice-watching to get all that rot down. Hope you enjoyed the latest delve into the inner workings of Hatter, the next one should be up sometime this weekend if I can get time off to work on it.

And my new laptop comes in sometime this weekend (sorry Master), so that should be happiness.

Until then, arrivederci my chitlens!

Love and pancakes,

|ACP|